“Don’t look to your left.”
Of course Lauren immediately looked, and there he stood. And there Lauren froze. And she felt the whole of the air sucked out from under her and over her and from each side of her, and she couldn’t breathe. She loved him more right then than she thought she ever did.
“We’ll leave you to it.”
And before Lauren could protest, Colton spoke. “Fuck.”
Lauren couldn’t quite look in his eyes.
“Fuck,” he said again, taking a step closer to her.
“Is that a good fuck or a bad fuck?” Lauren asked, trying to look in his eyes, eyes that looked troubled, tired, eyes she wanted to get lost in and never find her way back from again.
He grabbed her hair in his fist and held her head in place as if he was seeing her for the first time, her mouth only inches from his. And then, he let her go, leaving her breathless.
“It’s fuck, I need a beer.” He ran his hands through his hair. “Can I get you one, Princess?”
“Colton.”
He turned around in place and held up his hands, before he came back towards her, grabbing her again. “Fuck it.”
And his lips landed on hers, and he devoured her. He pulled his lips off of hers, looked at her again, and drew her against his chest, before releasing her with a deep exhale. “Beer, Princess?”
“Okay. Yeah. Sure,” Lauren answered after a moment of regaining her own breath.
“I’ll be right back.”
When Colton left, Lauren got swarmed. Person after person asking her about Juilliard and if she was going and what had she decided.
Colton passed her the beer and then disappeared into the crowd, and Lauren sipped slowly, pretending to be interested in the myriad conversations, but her eyes searched for Colton. Worried and frantic. She prayed he hadn’t left. It couldn’t end like this.
She ran into Beth again for the first time since they got there. “Have you seen Colton?” she asked Beth.
“Not since we first got here. But Angela may know.” Beth pointed to Angela sitting in the corner of the living room. She looked like she was writing something, probably music.
“Hey,” Lauren said standing above her, before squatting down to try to sit.
“Hey,” Angela said. “Hold on. I don’t want to lose this riff for Colton. This line.”
“Can I hear it?”
“Yeah. Yeah. Hold on.” Angela finished jotting some things down and hummed a bit. “Like something like that. I gotta get to the top, but I won’t miss my spot in the light of your love. Please don’t…” She hummed again. “I don’t know. I had something. It still needs work.”
“I like it,” Lauren said.
Angela looked up then, noticing the dress.
“Thank you, by the way,” Lauren said. “It was very nice of you to be a part of this present.” She pointed to the dress.
“I’m glad. It looks good on you.”
“Thanks. I guess I don’t feel very sparkly tonight.” Lauren sat down fully now next to Angela and took another sip of her beer. “Fuck. Tastes like shit.”
Angela laughed. “Yeah. I don’t drink the stuff. Tastes like piss.”
Lauren laughed. “You’ve tasted piss then?”
They both laughed. “Figure of speech, Percy.”
“Phew,” Lauren said, chuckling, and finishing her cup. “How’s he been, Angela?”
“Who?”
Lauren glared at her. Angela knew damn well who.
“He’s been okay. Not great. If he writes one more sappy song, I’m gonna pummel him.”
“Sappy song?”
“Yeah. He misses you, Lauren. He’s sad, okay?”
“Yeah. I’m sad too.” She put her cup down and rubbed her eyes, forgetting all the make-up Beth had put on them.
“Oh, Jesus Christ,” Angela said and pulled a tissue from her pocket.
“Oh fuck,” Lauren said. “I forgot.”
“I got it,” Angela said and fixed it. “Now, just don’t cry. That’s my last tissue.”
Lauren smiled.
“So are you going or what?”
“Where?”
“To Juilliard. Where you think?”
“Yeah. Probably. I owe it to myself to try it, don’t you think?”
“Yes. I do. It’s not for me, that’s for sure, but if that’s something you’ve always dreamed of, you gotta try. This place will always be here to come back to if it doesn’t work out.”
“If there’s still a slot left.”
“Blake would make a slot. You must know that.”
“Fuck, Angela. I love him.”
“Yeah. I know.” She turned. “Speaking of the devil.”
“Need a refill, Princess?”
“No, thanks.”
“Angela?”
“Nope. Just leaving. Best of luck to you, Lauren. Knock ‘em dead. Stay in touch.” She fist-pumped Lauren before turning to Colton. “Stop by later, Masters. I got something for ya. I think.”
“A song?”
“Yeah, what’d ya think I meant, ya pig?!” And they laughed, drudging up a few too many memories for Lauren. They’d probably end up together when she left, she thought.
“Hey,” Colton said. “You don’t look…happy.” He sat with her.
“Colton. You haven’t talked to me in weeks. Why are you talking to me now?”
“Because, Lauren, this may be the last time I ever see you.”
“Don’t’ say that. Colton. Please don’t say that.” Lauren could feel the thought suffocating her.
“It doesn’t mean it’s what I want, Lauren. I’m just being a realist.”
“You didn’t even come to any more of my performances. Do you have any idea how hard that was?
“Yes.”
“Then why’d you do it?”
“No.”
“What??”
“I meant yes, I did. I came every night.”
“No, Colton. Your seat was empty.”
“Lauren, I was there. I just didn’t want you to know. I didn’t want you to know I was there. I didn’t want you to think I’d changed my mind. I bought someone else’s ticket at double the price every night.”
“Colton.”
“Lauren. Don’t you see? I want what’s best for you.”
“I’m not going.”
“What?”
“I’m not going.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I haven’t told them yes yet.”
“But you’re going to.”
“I love it here, Colton, and not just because of you. I love everything about it here. Juilliard may not be all I thought it would be. I may hate it. It may be too competitive or stuck up or intense.”
“Lauren Percy. Don’t go making assumptions and stereotypes like the idiot I used to be. Even if one or all of those things are true, there’s only one way to find out.”
Stephanie was speaking through some microphone all of a sudden. “Lauren. If you could come out here. Lauren Percy.”
“Oh, Jesus, now what.” Lauren walked out. “I’m here.”
“Oh, good. We wrote you a little speech.” And Leslie, Beth, Brian, and Stephanie, said a little part, and Lauren hugged them each, trying really hard not to cry and failing.
Brian pulled Lauren aside. “I’m sorry it took me so long to accept you and Colton.”
“Well, clearly there’s nothing to accept, Brian,” Lauren said plainly. “We’re over.”
“Lauren, you know what I mean. I just didn’t think…I guess I just didn’t…”
“Trust him?”
“Yes. But I’ve seen that I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”
Lauren hugged him. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“He’s proven himself, Lauren. I always knew there was a good guy somewhere in him.”
“Now we just have to find you someone,” Lauren winked.
“Yeah, well, let me fully get over the last one first, ok
ay?”
“Wait, what? What have I missed?”
“Lauren. You. I’ve been in love with you since the first day I met you. God. How could you not know!” Brian blurted out.
“Brian…I’m…so…sorry…I—”
Brian laughed. “I’m not all that suave. And that’s the past. Okay? I’m really happy for you.” He hugged her, awkwardly. “It’s why I never said anything.”
Lauren didn’t know what else to say.
“Here.” He passed her a little box.
“What is it?”
“Well, open it up and see!”
Within a little jewelry box, sat a silver necklace with a Juilliard logo pendant.
“Oh my god, Brian.” She unclasped it. “Lift my hair?”
“Of course.”
And Lauren clasped it behind her neck and drew the pendant down into her fingers. “I love it, Brian.”
“It’s official then,” he said. And he kissed her cheek.
“Colton,” Stephanie then said through that obnoxious microphone. “We were hoping you and Lauren would sing your song again tonight?”
“Oh. I don’t know,” Colton said. “I’m not sure I really remember it all that well.”
“That’s okay,” Angela chimed in, knowing he was lying through his teeth. “I’ve got it right here.” Angela passed him the music and lyrics.
“I thought you left?” Colton said.
“Clearly not,” Angela said sarcastically.
Lauren suddenly felt shy and self-conscious, all that attention on her. It was one thing to have attention on oneself for a role. This was entirely different. It made Lauren uncomfortable, and she ran out of the room. Colton followed.
“I want to go home,” she said to him.
“This feels like déjà vu,” Colton said.
“Will you take me home?”
“Yeah. I’ll take you.”
They were out and in Colton’s car before anyone could stop them, and Lauren looked down at her phone to a message from Beth. Sorry. And Lauren wrote back. It’s okay. Lauren knew her friends just wanted them together again. But this wasn’t their friends’ decision.
*****
Colton didn’t know what to say on the ride, so he played music instead. There wasn’t much to say. He was madly in love with her, but he loved her happiness more than his own. If she didn’t go to Juilliard, he would always feel the pressure of it, that he had held her back, that if things didn’t work out, he would forever blame himself, and so would she. He had to get through to her.
He pulled up to her dorm, having fought the urge to drive straight to his place. God, she was stunning. Her hair. Her eyes. That dress. Why couldn’t I be the old Colton and just rip her out of it, take her, and not feel a moment of guilt over it?
“Will you come in?” she finally said.
Colton closed his eyes and then opened them. “Nothing good will come of me coming in, Lauren.”
She drew her mouth up towards his. “A kiss then?”
He met her lips and found himself gripping her hair.
“I need you,” Lauren said, gasping, trying not to let the tears fall.
“I will always need you,” Colton echoed. “I will never stop loving you.”
They kissed longer until finally Colton said, “Go, before I convince you to let me up. Please, Lauren, go.”
“I love you, Colton.”
“I love you, Lauren. Now go and do great things.”
“You go and do great things. You will have a record deal in no time.”
“Someday. I do believe that. And I’ll see you on Broadway.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah. Who knows? I may live in New York someday.”
“I’d love to live in New York.”
“A big double apartment in Manhattan. Beautiful views.”
“A little white dog we walk every morning?”
“And two kids, a boy and a girl, we take to the park.”
Lauren put her head against his chest and let the tears fall. “Those are dreams too, Colton.”
“Then we shall fulfill them someday.”
“I’d like that.”
“Until then, I’ll play only for you.”
“You’ll play only for me?”
“Yes. I’ll play only for you.”
And he sang her the song softly in her ear, until he couldn’t anymore, and they cried quietly together.
“Now go,” Colton finally said. “Before I stop you.”
“We’ll find our way back to each other someday, somehow. I know that, Colton. We’ll talk wherever we can. We’ll visit sometimes.”
“Yes,” Colton said, half believing it himself even.
Lauren wiped her eyes and grabbed him closer. “I love you, Colton Masters.”
“I love you, Lauren Percy.”
“This isn’t goodbye.”
“No. It isn’t. It’s only the beginning.”
They kissed one last time, Lauren grippisng his shirt tightly in her hands, and when he finally removed them, he held them to his lips and kissed her trembling fingers. Lauren shut the car door and blew him a kiss, standing there alone, long after he drove away.
And Colton watched the most beautiful girl he had ever known through his rearview mirror until he couldn’t anymore, and though he didn’t know if they’d make it at the end of all this, he would go to sleep every night dreaming they would. For the rest of his life…
OTHER WORKS by R.B. O’BRIEN
Find all R.B. O’Brien news, social media links, newsletter sign-up, and previously published works on her website.
R.B. O’BRIEN
AUTHOR BIO
R.B. O’Brien has always been drawn to the more taboo side of storytelling, even as a young adult, from hiding books from strict Catholic parents as a teen to getting lost in the erotic sections of bookstores for hours.
She is best known for her three published erotic romances, Thorne, Edge of Torment and Imogen. But she is now forging a name for herself in the New Adult Romance category as well as poetry, her true passion.
Much of O'Brien's work explores the darker, sensual nature of relationships, those riddled with the reality of insecurities and human folly, often exposing the vulnerability, emotional turmoil, and occasional pain that can come from losing oneself in the heat of passion and the obstacles of love.
O'Brien holds a degree in English literature and teaches for a living in the Northeast, USA. She is the founding member of The Nu Romantics, a poet, a professor, a writer, a dancer, and a hopeful romantic known for her poetry prompts on social media. O’Brien also has a profound affection for Shakespeare and beyond that, writes. Every chance she gets.
EXTRAS
A song written for Colton and Lauren
by Don Bordua
I've played my songs for so many years,
Hiding in lyrics, a man full of fears,
But when my chords rip out the blues,
Understand I only play for you.
My life, too, has a shaded history,
One that's shrouded in mystery,
But when I look at you my pulse begins,
Your eyes of blue, then green and back again.
I hear your voice singing your song,
We've both been alone for far too long,
I ask only one thing, for me it's the key,
When you play, play only for me.
Your hair cascades in long soft waves,
Just another thing that makes me cave,
My heart beats until it busts,
My body and mind are filled with lust.
We deserve more than just heartache,
The life we want is the one we make,
So come with me and take my hand,
Let time slip by like grains of sand.
Let's renew ourselves,
Let's start anew,
Play only for me,
I'll play only for you.
Now's your time
It's my ti
me too,
Let's taste the wine,
Not be so blue.
Your sweet voice, it calls to me,
Let me hear your melody,
I'll accompany you as you sing,
And slide my fingers along the strings.
You and I can touch the sky,
My soulful licks and your voice a kiss,
Together we can get so high,
We'll reach the stage of eternal bliss.
Let's renew ourselves,
Let's start anew,
Play only for me,
I'll play only for you.
Play only for me,
I'll play only for you.
Find more of Don’s work here: AMAZON
An Excerpt from “Beyond the Rain,” A New Adult Short Story:
“I have the perfect place,” Max said, twirling her along the way, down the path to the clearing under a big oak. The tree’s branches served as their canopy and the chill in the air was unmistakable as she took the blanket to place down on the shaded cool earth.
“Careful,” he reminded, poking a frog gently with a stick so it would move. “Don’t crush the thing,” he said with sincerity.
She smiled. “I love your gentle side, your love of all living creatures.” And she did.
“Oh yeah?” He raised an eyebrow. “Well, I’d like to crush your body under mine, so that makes up for it. And I don’t think I want to be gentle.”
She inhaled and crimsoned, her whole body reacting to him in that way that was both out of her control and the most natural thing in the world.
He placed a lock of hair behind her ear and kissed her, her breath an exhale into his mouth like the power of a rushing river. She loved him. And needed him. And kicked off her sandals followed by her cotton, floral dress. She lay there, the pertness of her nipples straining to break free from her thin, lace bra, the matching panties barely covering her sex.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful, Julietta,” Max said, the last of the phrase muffled against her neck. “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”
Play Only For Me: (A New Adult Romance) Page 17
