by Hazel James
I know it’s nuts to say stuff like this
But you have to know that it’s true
Yes, we’re only seventeen
Would it be better if we were thirty-three?
Would age break down the barrier
You’ve set between you and me?
Some people spend their whole lives
Looking for a love that’s not there
Why are you so willing to throw away
This gift that’s ours to share?
I want to spend my life with you
This isn’t just some game
I could be old and gray, or I could die today
I’d use my last breath to say your name
We can beat the challenges
I know that it’s possible
If you’d just keep your head
From being my obstacle
Forget all the shit
And just focus on me
Shut down your fears
And let your heart be
With me
Every other time I’ve watched him sing, he’s kept his eyes open. I think he enjoys taking it all in when he’s performing. But this time he keeps them closed. The smirk that played at his lips when he took the guitar is replaced with a seriousness that I’ve never seen. He sings with his eyebrows drawn together, almost as if the lyrics physically pain him. He lets the last note hang in the air for several beats, then snaps out of his lyrical trance and passes the guitar back to Lenny with a smile.
“Thanks, dude.”
“Uh, yeah. No problem, man.”
“Well, shit. If you ain’t gonna go up there and show that young man some lovin’, I sure as hell will. You’re goddamn skippy right I will.” I turn behind me to see a forty-something-year-old bag lady giving my boyfriend bedroom eyes. She runs her tongue over her thin, dry lips and I flash back to seeing Vivien do the same thing last week at lunch—though Vivien’s lips were unfortunately in much better condition.
“I’ve got it covered, thanks.” I hope I don’t have to get physical with this woman. How the hell am I supposed to FaceTime my parents from jail for an assault charge on a homeless person after my boyfriend serenaded me on a subway platform?
“Well, did my song woo you back?” James asks, rescuing me from my overactive imagination. I look back at the bag lady, but she’s already shuffling away from the crowd.
“Consider me officially wooed, Mr. Tennyson.” I stand on my tip-toes and wrap my arms around his neck. “I’m sorry I put you through that, but thank you for the song. It was beautiful.”
“I told you she loves open mic night.” Avery says. She wipes tears from her eyes and gives James the middle finger. “Come on, let’s get going.” She takes my arm to push our way out of the small crowd, but the lead singer of Arizona Grace stops us before we can leave.
“Hey, Hootie!”
“Close! It’s James.” He laughs as he turns back to the stage. “Thanks for letting me borrow your mic, Toad the Wet Sprocket.”
“Only my mom calls me that. My friends call me Roth. And no sweat. That was pretty good! You live around here?” he asks in a thick New York accent.
“Nah, just visiting.”
“We’re playing tonight at Labyrinth if you wanna come.”
“What’s Labyrinth?” I ask Avery.
“Oh man, I haven’t been there in ages! Yeah, we’ll be there!” she says, answering for the three of us.
“Awesome. Our set starts at nine. Let me know if you’re up for singing some more tonight. I like the way you sound.”
Avery and I shriek in unison, sending out an echo that could kill a colony of bats. “James, you’re gonna be famous!” I grab his arm and jump up and down.
“Calm down, Goldilocks. It’s just Labyrinth,” Roth says with a smile. “Be there an hour early and we’ll go over the set list. We start with some covers that you’ll probably know before we do our original stuff.”
“Will do.” James shakes his hand, then leans in and whispers something in Roth’s ear. They both do some nodding and exchange numbers.
“Catch ya later, Blind Melon!” Roth says.
“Later, Pearl Jam!” James leads us through the crowd and up the stairs. “Well, Mrs. Tennyson. It looks like you got me a gig in NYC. I should’ve put that on my bucket list so I could cross it off. Fletcher’s gonna freak when he hears.”
“What was all that whispering?”
“Let’s just say a man with green eyes has a surprise for you.”
“Does this mean I get to be your groupie? The president of your fan club? I’m uploading your performance on Facebook and Instagram, just so you know.”
“Duly noted. Now come on. Let’s make out on the top of the Empire State Building,” he says with a wicked grin.
“I second that motion!” I hop on his back for the rest of the short walk. Avery—well, Todd—sprung for express tickets, so we got to skip the line for the main deck. She told me what it was like, and I’ve seen “Sleepless in Seattle,” but none of that could really prepare me for the sight of New York City from the eighty-sixth floor.
“Welcome to the bird’s eye view of the city,” Avery says, sweeping her arm up like Vanna White.
“My God, this is the most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.”
James walks up behind me and spins me around. “This is the second most incredible thing I’ve ever seen.” I open my mouth to tell him how sweet he is when he interrupts me. “The most incredible thing was seeing this fifty-three-year-old lady polish off a forty-ounce steak back in Topeka.”
“Thanks for spoiling the moment, Romeo.” I smack him on the shoulder and roll my eyes, but laugh anyway. He pulls me into a hug and traces the shell of my ear with his lips. I love it when he does that. Avery smiles and makes a fake gagging noise, then walks to the other side of the observation deck.
“Nah, the most incredible thing was seeing this blond chick practically throw herself at me on my first day of school. I felt bad for her, so I decided to play along.”
“Oh, is that how the story goes?” I giggle.
“Yup. I haven’t had the heart to tell her I’m not interested, so I’m forced to fake it every day. It’s awful.” He feigns a sigh. His phone chirps from his pocket, and he angles himself so I can’t see the screen. A smile creeps over his face while he responds.
“What’s going on?” I try to peek at the message, but he jerks the phone closer to him.
“Nothing! Just telling Fletcher about my gig tonight.” He stows his phone in his back pocket and pulls me into his arms.
Fine. Two can play at that game.
“We need our Empire State selfie, Mr. Tennyson.” I pull my phone out and snap the picture, then take our heart hands photo to add to my growing collection.
“I’m not happy about the Avery and Fletcher situation, but I’m glad that I get to be here with you,” I say, wrapping my arms around his back. He’s not quite as muscular as I imagined in my dream the day he first kissed me, but I still have zero complaints. I pretty much hit the jackpot as far as hot boyfriends go. “Do you have any predictions about whether they’ll make up?”
His eyes narrow slightly as he scans the view below. “No, nothing so far. It’s frustrating to not be able to see memories when I want to, especially when it comes to helping my friends.”
I slide my hands to his lower back. “Maybe you don’t see anything because they’ll patch things up on their own.”
“Maybe.” He rests his head on mine. I use that moment to snatch his phone out of his pocket then run like hell around the corner of the observation deck while I try to pull up his text messages. He catches up to me in about six strides. “Fork it over, Blondie!” His arms swat at my hands. I twist and duck out of his reach, and my fingers finally land on the green messages icon. The last message was from me when I texted our photo from the Statue of Liberty.
“You erased it!” I stand up and jab his chest in mock indignation.
“Era
sed what?” he asks with his most innocent voice while tucking his phone in his pocket again.
“Your last text!”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You’re up to something, and I’m gonna figure out what it is.” I cross my arms. The wind whips my hair around, which makes holding a staring contest next to impossible.
“Doubtful.” He gathers my tresses in his hand and gently pulls, angling my face toward his. “But don’t worry. You won’t have to wait long.” His eyes sparkle with excitement as he places chaste kisses on the sides of my mouth.
“Well, it better be good is all I’m saying.”
“Oh, it’s gonna be better than good. You’ll see.”
It’s official. Avery has lost her damn mind. “There is no way in God’s green earth I’m wearing this tonight, Murphy.” I can’t believe she has me trapped in a fitting room again. This means she’s due for some torture, too. Maybe I’ll hack up a pair of her precious red-soled heels.
“You can’t go to Labyrinth wearing anything you packed,” she says from outside the fitting room. “You’ll look like a cornhusker from Kansas.”
“That’s Nebraska!” James shouts.
“Kansas, Nebraska. It’s all the same. Anyway, if you hate that top, then try these two on.” She throws more fabric over the top of the door. One is covered in multi-colored sequins and the other is ninety-five percent mesh. I pick up my phone and tap out an SOS text to James. At the rate I’m going, I’ll be wearing my birthday suit to Labyrinth. Which I’m sure would go over really well with the male population. And some of the females. It is New York City, after all. I toss the shirts—do they even qualify as shirts?—back over the door without bothering to try them on.
“Not a chance. Go get something else.”
“We’re in the city, Ray! Live a little!”
“I’m living just fine, thank you. But I won’t be living in either of those.”
“Fine,” she huffs. “But you’re not going out looking like Mother Teresa. We’ve gotta find a balance here.”
“Agreed. I’ll get dressed and we’ll try again, okay?”
“Don’t bother getting dressed,” James says from down the hall.
“What do you mean?”
“Here.” His voice is right outside the door, and suddenly more clothes appear at the top. I take the hangers and study what he delivered. I don’t know what surprises me more—the fact that he went and got me new clothes, or the fact that I actually like them. The skinny jeans are some sort of purpley-red color, and they hug me in all the right places. He also brought a shimmery silver tank top that’s really soft on the inside and a thin black leather jacket that stops right at my hips. I study my reflection in the mirror, amazed at how well he pulled it off.
“Well?” Avery asks. I don’t bother with a response and open the fitting room door instead. “Holy shit, James. Merlot jeans? What do you know about merlot jeans?”
“I know Ray’s ass looks great in them.” He winks at me, and I bite my lip as heat spreads over my cheeks.
“Seriously. How did you even pull this off?” she asks, gesturing to my outfit.
“Easy. I took the jeans to a sales girl and said I needed something to go with them that wasn’t revealing. She took care of the rest.” He was right—the top isn’t revealing in the least bit. It’s form-fitting, which I don’t mind, but the neckline doesn’t dip too low. I still feel sexy without being exposed.
“I love it! Thank you.” I give him a quick kiss, then duck back into the fitting room to change.
“I can’t believe I was bested by my Beef’s boyfriend. God, I’m getting rusty.”
“Don’t worry, Ave. You’re just off your game a little this weekend, that’s all,” I say as I put my clothes back on. When I open the door, I link arms with her and walk toward the cashier. “We’ve still gotta come up with something for James, and you know I’m totally useless.”
“That’s a fact,” she says with a laugh. She hands her credit card to the cashier. Any guilt I had about Todd paying for everything quickly vanishes when I see the total.
“Holy shit! Four hundred and eighty three dollars? I only got three things!”
“Sorry, she’s not from around here,” Avery tells the cashier, as if she’s letting her in on a secret. She scribbles on the receipt, takes the bag, and grins at me and James. “Okay, where to next?”
James and I stare at each other for several beats, then follow Avery out of the store. He starts singing the chorus to Friends in Low Places by Garth, only he changes the word “low” to “high.” We take turns making up the lyrics on the way to the next shop.
And I won’t frown
at those cashiers’ faces
When it’s time to pay
‘Cause Todd will pay
And now we’re buying at
all these places
Let’s head downtown
to buy crystal vases
And maybe a Benz
or some Hermes shoelaces
“Hermes shoelaces? Really?” Avery asks with a smile.
“Don’t be jealous of our lyrical abilities,” I say, poking her in the shoulder. She rolls her eyes again and holds open the door to the next store.
Several hours later, we’re back at her dad’s condo, and I’m doing my best to not fall asleep. I think we walked about eight miles today. Normally, that would be a breeze for me, but combined with all the shopping and sightseeing, I’m toast.
“Here.” Avery pops the top on a can of Monster and passes it to me.
“Thanks,” I say, clinking my can against hers. “Dude, this pizza is amazing.” We grabbed some pies from Freddie & Pepper’s on the way home and now I’m ruined. Nothing else will ever compare.
“I’ve decided I want my dad to ship some down for my graduation party,” Avery says.
“Did you ever hear anything from the colleges you applied to?” James asks around a mouthful of food.
“No, there hasn’t been anything from FIT and I won’t know anything about Parsons until sometime in April.”
“And your dad hasn’t said anything about a car for you?” I ask. Avery’s birthday is on Tuesday.
“Nope. I swear to God after the week I’ve had, he better not have forgotten about his promise. Sharing a car with Mom is getting really old.”
“Well, I wouldn’t worry. I’m sure it’ll all work out,” James says, smiling. He shoves the last bite of pizza in his mouth, then puts his plate in the sink. “I’m gonna take a quick shower so you ladies can have the bathroom to yourselves to get ready. Unless you’d rather get ready now, Ray?” He looks at me with a mischievous smirk and taps his fingertips together.
“Nice try, bud. You go ahead.”
He kisses me on the top of the head on his way to the bedroom. I love it when he does that. Avery lets out a sigh and quickly tries to cover it with a cough.
“I heard that.”
“Sorry. I’m trying to not be a Debbie Downer.” She wrinkles her nose and rubs the space between her eyebrows.
“Why don’t you quit being so damn stubborn and just call him?” I ask with a pointed look. “James said Fletcher’s pretty tore up.”
“He should be. I specifically told him lying was a deal-breaker. I know we weren’t dating that long, but I thought it could actually turn into something real. Serious. To find out now that he’s part of a package deal changes everything.”
“Yeah, but you have to admit—Sammy is a pretty awesome package.”
“She is. But I don’t know that I want to be a stepmom. At least not right now.”
“Obviously a kid isn’t just something that happens overnight. Do you even know his side of the story?”
“No.” Her head dips down in a rare moment of embarrassment. “I left him at the hospital after I knew she’d be okay, and I haven’t spoken to him since then.”
My head drops to my arm on the table. “Avery, you’re killing me,” I say into the
crook of my elbow. I take a cleansing breath, then lift my head again. “You’ve got a guy back at home that wants nothing more than to be with you. A good guy. One who clearly doesn’t run away from responsibility. And you’re willing to throw that all away?”
“Why aren’t you trying to at least see things from my point of view?”
“I do. But you’re making a bigger deal out of it than it needs to be. Four years ago, Fletcher had a baby. One he’s been with every day since then. From what I know about him and what you’ve said since y’all started dating, he’s a really great guy. He’s not a manwhore. He doesn’t do drugs. He even asks for extra shifts to earn more money.” She starts to say something, but I hold my finger up to hush her. And then I open my mouth and Gran comes out.
“Hold on, I’m not done. You need to quit looking at what’s happening right now and see the bigger picture. Fletcher is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. He treats you well. Hell, he’s the first guy who hasn’t tried to get in your pants since I’ve known you. You owe it to him to hear his side of the story and give him a chance.”
“That’s easy for you to say. It’s not like James has blindsided you with a big secret.”
If only she knew. Psychic abilities has to rank somewhere close to secret daughter, right? “Avery, we all have secrets. But you have to choose whether or not you’re going to let that ruin everything. I almost walked away from James because I didn’t think we could make a long-distance relationship work at our age. And then a very wise person called me on my stupidity. Which is what I’m doing to you right now. I can’t tell you what to do, but don’t let your stubbornness keep you from someone who really cares about you.” I stand up from the table and give her shoulder a squeeze on the way to the sink. Between the Monster that she gave me and the adrenaline from our conversation, I’m jittery. I feel like I need to keep moving. “Do you mind if I go down to the fitness center in the lobby real quick? I’m all keyed up and I figured I could put a few miles on the treadmill before it’s time to get ready.”
“That’s fine,” she says, gathering her plate and empty can. “But you don’t need to go to the fitness center. You can use Daddy’s home gym. It’s down that hallway.” She points in the direction of the master suite. Of course her dad has a home gym.
