Dirty Jock

by Sienna Valentine

  "Well, no hot dates on my agenda but you're right, I can probably just see her masterpiece next time I'm over."

  "Right," I agreed. Izzy was already back to coloring and no longer interested in our conversation. At least one of us took my advice to not be disappointed if Laney wasn’t going to come over tonight.

  "But um, thanks for the phone call. It really was nice to hear from... Izzy."

  The pause was slight, but it didn't go unnoticed. My mind flashed back to the other day at the park when I'd grabbed onto her arm and then "forgotten" to let it go. It felt nice to hold onto her, and it felt even nicer that she didn't pull away. I wasn't sure if she was just being polite, or maybe worried about causing a scene in front of the other mothers or Izzy. But another possibility was that she liked it as much as I did.

  "Or maybe..." I began. It was a bit of a stall since I had nothing immediately in mind to suggest, but I wasn't quite ready to end the conversation.

  "Yes?" Was it my imagination or did Laney seem just as interested in me continuing?

  "Well, I mean, Izzy would be really disappointed if you didn't come to see her picture," I shot another glance at the toddler, who couldn't be more detached from what was going on. She'd moved on to other things, but I felt no guilt at using her once more for this purpose. "And it does seem silly to come just for that, but maybe if you stayed for dinner as well, that would make the trip worthwhile? I mean, since you don't have plans tonight anyway..."

  21

  Delaney

  Why did I agree to dinner?

  After hearing that message from Miss Myers, I'd resolved to avoid Tanner for a few days. The guilt was eating away at me and I wasn't sure if I could face him. My plan had been to wait until next week, after the surprise visit, and then hope that Tanner never realized what part I played in it. Maybe nothing would come of the visit, anyway. Maybe.

  But he'd caught me in a moment of weakness. Or rather, he'd inadvertently created one by putting Izzy on the phone. She was my kryptonite, and speaking with her had clouded my brain. That must have been why, when Tanner came back on the line—fishing to find out whether I was free before asking me over in what sounded suspiciously like a date—I accepted without thinking.

  Whatever the reason, I now had to face him, knowledge of what was waiting for him on Sunday eating away at my insides. I did my best to justify and rationalize the negativity away.

  I mean, it wasn’t like Tanner's family living out of state was some big secret that only Sherlock Holmes could crack. Surely CPS would have discovered that on their own with a bit of investigation.

  And as far as the other bit off information I spilled, it wasn’t even valid anymore. I told Miss Myers about how Tanner’s penthouse was completely dangerous and unsuitable for a toddler, and how he'd been woefully unprepared to receive Izzy despite having plenty of time to get the place ready. While that had been true at the time, he fixed most of those issues within the first couple of days. I didn’t think there was any damning evidence left for her to find, from that respect.

  Which only left the issue of what to do with Izzy during the football season. Surely Garrick would figure that out as well, if he hadn't already. Just because his family lived in another state didn't mean they wouldn't be available to help. Especially after all he'd done raising them.

  By the time I arrived at his apartment, I had mostly convinced myself that I was worried about nothing and pushed whatever concern remained down into the deepest and darkest corner of my mind, praying that it would remain there for at least the rest of the night.

  "Something smells delish," I said as soon as I walked in.

  "Don't get too excited," he laughed. "It's just spaghetti. My cooking skills are limited."

  "Wait, you cooked?" I honestly expected him to order in.

  "You don't have to sound so shocked."

  "I wouldn't say shocked so much as concerned," I teased.

  Tanner lifted his hand and flashed me the middle finger, but then quickly pushed it against the side of his nose and pretended to be scratching himself as Izzy barreled into the hallway from the kitchen.

  "De-ainy! De-ainy!"

  I bent down to catch her as she flung herself into my arms, but not before noticing what she was wearing.

  "Where the heck did you find an apron her size?" The white cloth that was tied around her neck and waist was covered in splotches of red sauce, and I was trying my best to keep her from rubbing it along my own cream colored top.

  "It's homemade, actually," he grinned. "She wanted to help with dinner, but didn't want to change out of her dress. This was our compromise."

  On closer inspection, I saw that the apron was made up of an old white t-shirt that had been cut, and thin strips of fabric were roughly sewed on to make the straps.

  "Wait, you cook and sew? Do the rest of your football team know about this?"

  "Boiling pasta, opening a couple of cans of sauce and chopping up some vegetables hardly qualifies as cooking," he retorted.

  "And the sewing?"

  Tanner shrugged. "I had brothers and we didn't have a lot of money. We had to make shit last across multiple hand-me-downs."

  "I see." Isabella was too wiggly, I had to set her down or give up on any hopes of keeping my blouse clean. As much as Tanner seemed to excel at homemaking, I didn't think he'd be keen to add doing my laundry to his list of chores.

  "Still, that being said and since you brought it up, if you do breathe a word of it to anyone on my team, I will have to kill you."

  "Conflicts with your alpha image, I get it." I poked him in the ribs as he stepped away to lead us into the kitchen.

  "Hey, I thought you had something to show me, kiddo?"

  Izzy looked up at me blankly.

  "Didn't you color me a picture?"

  Her eyes widened and she turned to race over to the corner where there was a little table set up, piled with papers, crayons and markers.

  "Yeah Garrick, you're right, she couldn't wait for me to get here to show me what she'd created..."

  I couldn't help but laugh as Tanner protested. "At the time, it was a virtual emergency that she show it to you immediately, I swear."

  "Uh huh," I nodded. "Why can't you just admit you couldn't stand to go two days without seeing me."

  I meant it as a teasing comment, but then Tanner paused and looked me up and down, slowly, as if memorizing every inch of my body.

  "I won't deny that," he said. His voice was low and heavy, but then he winked and turned to disappear into the kitchen, leaving me to wonder if he had just been teasing me back.

  Either way, it suddenly felt very warm in his apartment.

  Dinner was great, and Izzy couldn't stop telling me how she'd helped stir the sauce. She was so excited to have helped. It made me feel a bit guilty that I'd never let her help me cook before. Not that I was any great chef either, but it just always seemed so dangerous. Yet I hadn't let her make phone calls either, another thing she was excited about, and there was no danger there. I just never really considered how important those little things would be to a two-year-old, but Tanner seemed to understand them innately.

  Not long after we finished, Izzy began to yawn and soon Tanner had her on his shoulders as he made his way up the stairs to her room. She held onto his neck tightly, but the smile that took over half of her face told me that she was far more delighted than scared. That kid adored him.

  The little left-over concern about Sunday that I had tucked away started to inch its way back into my consciousness.

  "One story and she was out like a light," Tanner announced as he came back downstairs. I was sitting on the couch, a half-finished glass of red wine from dinner on the end table next to me.

  If I hadn't been watching for it, I may have missed the very slight pause in his step as he passed between the couch and the matching armchair. But I was watching, because when I chose to sit on the couch I was very intentionally leaving him with the decision.

  It d
idn't take him long to make it. A moment later he was next to me. Now I was certain that this was, in fact, a date.

  At least according to Tanner.

  "Dinner was lovely," I said. "I really felt like that sauce had been stirred exactly the right amount."

  "Ah," he smiled. "Well, credit for that has to go to my sous-chef. But I'll let her know. After all, who doesn't love hearing about what a good job they've done?" He raised an eyebrow expectantly.

  "Oh, right, well I should also add that your addition of fresh mushrooms and green peppers really hid the fact that the sauce had come from a can."

  "It's all in the presentation," he nodded with a satisfied wink.

  "Although I did notice Izzy wasn't as big a fan. There was a little pile of chopped vegetables off to the side of her plate."

  "Hmm, it's hard to know where to lay the blame on that one," he mused. "On one hand, you could blame her father who's known her all of one week... on the other hand, you could blame the woman who had a large part in raising her over the last couple of years, and believes that ice cream is an acceptable pre-lunch snack."

  "Oh, low blow, Tanner."

  "You always said I liked to play dirty." His voice was low, one side of his mouth was curled up into a lazy smile. "Isn’t that what you called me that one time? A dirty jock?"

  "Are you denying that side of yourself?" My own voice had lowered as well, matching his at barely more than a whisper.

  "Not at all, but I thought that side of me scared you. Why aren't you running away?" He leaned closer now, and his eyes began to skim along my face as he spoke, paying special attention to my lips.

  "I never said that side scared me. I think we all have a dirty side."

  "Is that so?" There was an edge to his voice. A challenge that I was unable to leave unanswered.

  I could feel my heart rate begin to quicken.

  I knew what I was about to say was dangerous, but I was helpless by that point. His eyes had captivated me. Deep and blue, a cold fire that seared my flesh wherever his gaze landed and at that moment I would have been happy to feel the burn wherever he cared to look.

  "Try me," I whispered back.

  22

  Delaney

  I knew where those two words would lead, and Tanner didn't leave me disappointed. An instant after they left my mouth, his lips were pressed against mine and we were kissing with an urgency born of pent up desire. As much as I had tried not to admit it, I’d been picturing this moment a lot lately. It was even better than I imagined.

  As we kissed, one of Tanner's hands dug deep into my hair to pull me closer while the other cupped the side of my face, thumb caressing the skin of my cheek. Desperate to touch him back, I reached out to the hardness of his chest, skimming my palms along the contours of bone and muscle. Simply caressing his chest caused my own nipples tighten. It had been far too long since I'd touched a man.

  "Fuck you're so gorgeous," he murmured as he pulled away only long enough to lower his lips to my chin and then my neck. I tilted my head back, giving him more access, anxious for him to devour whatever part of my flesh he could reach. The hard stubble along his chin burned a trail just below wherever his lips touched, but I reveled in each tiny prickle of pain. They only seemed to heighten the desire I was feeling for him in that moment.

  Seconds later I felt his hands drop, first resting on my shoulders and then sliding down to cup my breasts.

  It had been equally long since someone had touched me, and compared to how Tanner was making me feel now, it was obvious that none of those other guy’s had any clue what they had been doing anyway. His hands were firm and sure, exploring and massaging with confidence. Each tweak of my nipples had just the right amount of pressure. He knew exactly what he was doing to me with every touch, and by the time he slipped his hands underneath my shirt to rub against my bare skin, I was breathing heavily and more than ready to let him do whatever it was he wanted.

  I could feel the desire he had for me in every movement he made, in each hot breath that blew across my body. It was like he had an unquenchable thirst for my body and was desperate to try and satisfy it. It was a heady feeling, to have someone be so desperate to have me, but at the same time it began to tug at that little dark corner of my brain again.

  Tanner and I had been getting along lately, flirting, our attraction for each other slowly growing into this. But how different would he feel if he knew that I was still secretly working to undermine everything he'd accomplished by giving personal, inside information to CPS? True, I did it a week ago before I really knew much about him, but I also hadn't called Miss Myers back to tell her to back down. Not that I had any real say in the matter. CPS didn't work for me, their focus was on the best interest of the child. But I could have at least told her that I was wrong about some of the things I said. Maybe all of them. Instead, I buried my head in the sand and hoped things would just work out and that Tanner would never know that I was involved.

  And he probably never would, as long as I kept my mouth shut.

  Just like I would never be sitting here in the first place if I hadn't said anything to CPS about Tanner's very existence in the first place.

  Apparently, keeping important secrets that can blow back in my face is not one of my strengths.

  "Wait," I panted. "Stop."

  By this point my shirt was pushed up and Tanner had freed one of my nipples by pushing down the cup of my bra. He was slowly running his tongue in circles around it. I couldn't help but let out a little disappointed moan as he lifted his head away to look up at me.

  "Too fast?" he asked.

  Not fast enough. If only you could have outraced my guilt.

  "It's... not that." I pushed him gently away and he sat up to look at me quizzically. I reluctantly fixed my bra and let my shirt fall back into place. "I need to tell you something."

  "You're not married, are you? Because I draw the line at married chicks."

  I smiled weakly and shook my head. Admitting I was married would likely be easier.

  "I wanted to warn you about something. Miss Myers is planning on coming here on Sunday evening for an inspection."

  "Really? She's not scheduled to come for another week."

  "I know, it's a surprise visit. It's meant to catch you off-guard so that she's more likely to find what she's looking for."

  "Which is what?" His face was looking concerned now, his voice hardening.

  "A reason to take Izzy away."

  "What the fuck?" Tanner launched himself to his feet, his fist clenched. "I thought all of this was settled? She said that as the biological father I had the right to custody. What the hell has changed since then?"

  His anger was directed at Miss Myers now, and I wished more than anything that it would stay there. But I would never be able to live with myself if I didn't give him the full truth. Hopefully he would understand my reasons.

  "Miss Myers is... well, she's not really a big believer in men as single parents. At least not while there is any other option available."

  Tanner fixed me with a stare. "By other option, you mean you? Don't tell me you're behind this, Laney."

  He caught on much quicker than I expected, the sudden accusation taking me by surprise. "No," I said immediately, my reflexes automatically putting me on the defensive despite the intention I had of coming clean. "I mean, not... not entirely."

  "What did you do?" His voice was still angry, but it was quieter now. His gaze hadn't wavered, still fixed on me with eyes of blue fire.

  "Please just remember how this all began," I said, desperate to justify my actions now that I was facing his simmering outrage. "CPS wouldn’t have even known about you if I hadn’t told them, and as far as I knew, you were going to be more than happy to give up your rights to the daughter you knew nothing about."

  "What did you do," he repeated flatly.

  "Once you decided to keep Izzy, that pretty much closed the case as far as CPS was concerned, aside from the standard visits an
d such. But Miss Myers doesn’t let things go quite as easily. She asked me to help... get information..."

  "What information?"

  I never realized how much worse a flat and emotionless tone could be. I would have preferred to have him still yelling at me. "Nothing major, and I only did it the one time right after I dropped Izzy off that first day. Back before you and I... before we started spending more time together and I realized how different a person you were than I had originally thought." Tanner's eyes continued to burn into me, which was far more effective than repeating himself again. "I just told her that this house wasn't safe for Izzy, that you were unprepared and maybe that meant you weren't taking any of this seriously. But the next time I came, you had fixed all that! It's clear now that you are definitely taking this seriously. I don't doubt that anymore, and I'm sure she’ll see that, too."

  Tanner's eyes didn't soften, but he slowly nodded. "Is that it?"

  I let out a soft sigh before quickly admitting to the rest of it. "I also told her stuff about your family and how you didn't have a lot of support to help out with Izzy."

  That was the part I feared admitting the most, and as expected Tanner's eyes flashed with renewed fury. "You spoke to her about my family?" This time he did rage, his voice loud but restrained in a way I suspected was only done to keep from waking Izzy. "Anything I told you about my family was private. You had no right to talk to anyone about any of that!"

  I saw no point in admitting that what I told her had actually come from my conversation with Cooper. If anything, that would have just directed some of Tanner's fury at his friend who had done nothing wrong here. This was all my fault, and there was no point casting blame. All I could do was try and fix things as best I could.

  "I know." Tears stung at the corners of my eyes, whether from guilt or fear or any of the hundred emotions that were rolling around in my heart. "I was just so upset at losing Izzy and all I could think about was getting her back. But I know now that she's in the right place, even if it hurts to lose her. You would have done the same thing in my place. Look at how upset you got when I took her out to the park on my own that one time?"