"We walk to the park once a day," I argued. "Coop was exaggerating. I have her signed up for a couple of programs, too."
"Okay, so it's just that you aren't going anywhere, other than to take her places."
"I don't need to go anywhere else."
"You did before she came along. Barely a weekend went by where you weren’t photographed at some club or party."
"That was then. Things change. I'm not that guy anymore. That's not what Izzy needs. You essentially said the same thing, or have you forgotten? She needs a role model."
"That doesn't mean you have to walk away from your own life, Tanner. There's a balance, and she needs to see it. You always had such a strong sense of self, and although I didn't necessarily love the way you always chose to express it, that quality is just as important to teach her as anything else. Hovering over her and never giving her any room to grow and breathe is not a good strategy."
"So I should just pick up and leave, like you did then?"
Delaney stiffened at that comment, her eyes shooting daggers at me. "That's not what I'm saying, and you know it." Behind the anger in her gaze was something else, as well. Hurt. "And that was a pretty mean thing to say."
This is about dad, isn't it? Quinn's voice whispered those words again in my head.
I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He was right about that, and so was she. The accusation was mean, especially because I didn’t even believe it myself.
"You're right. I'm sorry." I'd spent a good amount of time recently being angry at her and doing my best to put her out of my head, ignoring her calls and messages, and trying to push away my feelings. But now that she was back, and we were alone, and I was so close to her, they were stirring again. I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do with them anymore. Or what she wanted me to do with them.
"It wasn't like leaving wasn't hard for me, too," she said, turning from me to stare at the blank wall across from her couch. The painting I'd seen the first time I was here were gone, taken with her to Paris no doubt. The wall looked stark and empty without them now. "But I needed to try something different. Take a chance on me and my career for once. It's not like I didn't miss being here. I questioned the decision to go, before and after getting there. For a number of reasons."
I knew Isabella was the main reason, but was I one of the others?
"She missed you, but I promised her you'd be back." I never doubted that Delaney would return to visit Izzy, at least. I made sure that Izzy didn’t doubt it either.
"Thank you. I missed her, too." She let out a soft breath, turning back to look at me. We were standing in front of her couch, only a few feet apart, never having made it far enough to sit down. I'd forgotten how gorgeously green her eyes looked when framed by the deep red of her hair. "Like I said, leaving wasn't easy even though it really was the right thing for me to do. But it didn't mean I wasn't jealous of the time you and Izzy got to spend with each other while I was gone."
I stepped forward, closing the gap between us as I reached up to touch the side of her head gently, trailing my fingertips along her skin to push a lock of her hair back behind her ear. That was my excuse, anyway. I couldn't help wanting to touch her again, despite all my misgivings. "You don't have to be jealous of the time I get to spend with her. You've been part of her life since the beginning, and always will be. It's not like she's going to forget you."
Delaney smiled softly, tilting her head toward my touch so that my hand cupped the side of her face. "Maybe what I really meant was that I was jealous of the time she got to spend with you."
It took a moment for those words to sink through my head, but any doubts I had about my understanding of them were laid to rest by the way she was looking at me. "I really missed you, Tanner."
All I could do was nod. Then I raised my other hand to cup the other side of her face and pull her to me until our lips pressed against each other fiercely.
The damn of emotion and doubt had cracked the moment Laney had shown up at my door this morning, but it wasn't until this moment that it finally blew apart. It was one thing to pretend that I didn't like her on the outside, but I was a fool to try to deny what I truly felt about her. Being with Laney made me feel alive, and kissing her again made me realize that it was her absence over the past few weeks, more than anything else, that had me feeling so on edge. I still had a lot to figure out about my life and what I was going to do, but I knew exactly who I wanted to be part of it.
Our hands ripped and tugged at each other's clothing, neither of us stopping until the other was naked. My fingers wove through her long red hair, gripping it enough to pull her back so that I could access the fine lines of her neck with my lips. She shivered, running her hands along my arms and then around my back. When I bit down against her collarbone, she responded with a gasp and then by digging her nails into my shoulder blades.
"I've missed your kisses," she moaned softly into my ear. One of her hands slid down my back and then around to grab my cock. She squeezed the already hardened shaft. "And I've really missed this."
"You left me alone for weeks," I growled back. "I don't know if you're ready for what's been building up in the meantime."
"Try me," she said, catching my earlobe between her lips and biting down softly on it.
I didn't need another invitation. My hands slipped down and grabbed her ass, squeezing the soft globes between my fingers before lifting her up. Reflexively, her legs swung around my hips as her eyes opened wider. She looked down at me with those trusting greens, a curtain of red framing her face. I adjusted her body slightly. "Oh!" she exclaimed, as the tip of my cock came into contact with the hot folds of her pussy, nestling between them naturally. Then she smiled and murmured "Yes, please."
In one smooth motion I thrust my hips upwards while pulling down on the soft flesh of her hips, impaling myself deep inside of her. We both groaned at the same time. I paused for a moment, reveling in the scorching heat of her wet core as she surrounded me so completely. I wanted that feeling to be burned into my memory forever. When I couldn’t wait a moment longer, I walked a few steps forward to press her back against the wall.
A second before we hit the mark, I let my hands slip down further under her ass so that she was practically sitting on them. Then, with the added support of the wall behind her, I used my hands and knees to draw my cock in and out of her body. I started with long, slow strokes, but very quickly transitioned into a much more feverish pace.
Laney urged me on, not by her words—as far as I knew she couldn't even form them—but through little squeaks and grunts of pleasure that she gasped against the side of my head each time I thrust upwards and into her. Sweat formed between our bodies as I held her up, her taunt pink nipples tracing multiple paths against my slickened chest with each bounce.
It had been so long that I knew I couldn't hold back, but by the time I was ready to let go, Laney was already leaning against the wall with eyes half-rolled up into her head.
With a last lift and thrust, I practically roared as the last few weeks released deep inside her body. I felt her tremble and shiver in response, collapsing forward to hang limply against me as my cock remained buried inside of her.
Hopefully she wasn't too exhausted from that first round, because I wasn't nearly done with her.
Not by a long shot.
35
Delaney
I wasn't sure what I would feel about Tanner after not seeing him for a few weeks, but I didn't have to wonder long. It almost knocked the wind out of me, and I had been happy to use spending some time with Izzy putting her down for her nap as an excuse to collect myself. Not that I hadn't been anxious to see her again anyway. I had missed her.
And him, apparently.
The change in him was shocking, though. It was evident immediately. His fire had been quenched, and he seemed to be just going through the motions. According to Cooper, it was a downward spiral he'd apparently been on since. No wonder he hadn't been returning an
y of my calls. He decided to devote all of his time and energy into raising Izzy.
It was an admirable sentiment, but completely misguided. Kids learn most through example, and so living his life and being successful while taking care of her—even if that meant accepting help—was a far better model for her than if he let his own hopes and dreams just to devote himself to her. He didn't seem to get that at first, but his brother seemed to talk some sense into him. Bringing him along was another good call by Cooper.
Maybe I'd misjudged that guy. Maybe he wasn't as slow as I first thought.
"Where are you going?" Tanner asked as I edged over to the side of the bed. I turned back and flashed him a smile.
"I need a drink."
"Sorry, but I'm not done with you yet." He was sprawled out, in the opposite direction of me, and he reached out and grabbed one of my ankles in an iron grip. I couldn't help but let out a squeak as he pulled me back toward him.
"Can't you wait a moment," I giggled. "I'm thirsty."
"I've waited long enough," he growled, narrowing his eyes at me and turning his lips up into a little half smirk. With a twisty kind of yank on my leg, he flipped me over onto my stomach. I yelped again as I felt his hands on my hips, pulling me back onto my knees toward him.
"What are you—ooh shit." His cock speared into me from behind, each nerve stimulated at once by the sudden penetration. The pleasure was intense. A shivery tingle ran up my spine, and I couldn't help but back my ass all the way against him until it was resting against his hips. I didn't think I'd ever get used to the feeling of him filling me so completely.
He was insatiable, acting like he hadn't had sex in three years rather than three weeks. But I was far from complaining.
His fingers curled into the sides of my hips as he rocked his powerful body forward and back, pounding deeply at a furious pace. When he finally came again he let out a deep groan and then collapsed in a sweaty pile next to me.
I turned and grinned at him, then slipped off the bed to finally get my drink.
"I really didn't bring you back here with the intention of staying in all day and..."
"Fucking?" He finished for me.
"Right. I really do think you need to get out and get some fresh air as well. Or even go out in public, be surrounded by other adults."
"When you're Flash Garrick, that's not always so relaxing."
"It's not meant to be," I pointed out. "Maybe you just need a reminder of who you are."
"I know who I am," he grunted, eyes staring at the ceiling above my bed. We'd been here for hours, the sky outside already starting to darken. To his credit, he only called to check on Izzy once since we got here. She was having a great time, and had even warmed up to Quinn. But I know we were both still relieved that I'd sent Roxie along. Especially since Cooper texted not long ago telling us he needed to bail early because he had a date.
"Then why are you running from that person all of a sudden?" I was on dangerous ground, I knew, but despite the hours of sex I wasn't completely convinced that the old Tanner was back. I could see it in his eyes. We'd started to get through to him back at his apartment, but I wasn't sure it had been enough to completely change his mind about how he'd been acting.
I turned to face him, but he was still staring at the ceiling. The muscles in his jaw clenched and he was breathing deeply. I prepared myself for whatever was coming my way.
He surprised me by just exhaling heavily, his voice honest and not nearly as hard as I’d expected. "I don't know, Laney. I just... don't want to make the same mistakes he did."
I didn't need to ask who he was talking about.
"So don't."
Tanner let out a frustrated grunt. "It's not that easy."
"Why not? What makes you think you're headed down the same path as your father, Tanner? You have no intention of leaving Izzy. You love her and you would never do that."
He turned to me. In the darkening of the room, his blue eyes were like dark pits into his soul. Once I'd feared losing my balance and falling into them, but now I was more worried about him pushing me away from ever really knowing their depths. "Don't you get it, Laney? It's not just about physically leaving. You're right, I would never do that. But... growing up, I did my duty. I took care of my brothers and helped raise them, but they were older and I knew it wasn't going to last forever. That made it easier to keep my eye on my own goals. I never stopped playing football, never stopped practicing every chance I got. It wasn’t just the age difference, my brothers also had each other. They didn't need me watching them every second. It gave me time.
"And so football became everything to me, at least once they were older and more independent. After signing with the Stars and moving here to LA, playing ball became my entire life. Not just on the field, but off it as well. I was Flash Garrick. I made more game winning touchdowns than anyone in the league last year. That meant that even off the field, people knew who I was and I never shied away from that publicity and what came with it. As you know."
"And?" I prodded.
"I'm worried that I might get lost in that lifestyle again. It can be overwhelming sometimes and it’s easy to let it sweep you away. What if I have something in me, in my genes, something that will make me selfishly choose to slip back into that world again? Like my old man. Get so focused on football and that celebrity lifestyle that I let everything else fall by the wayside, including Izzy."
I smiled softly, laying my hand on his chest, fingertips just touching the edges of his tattoo. "Did you father leave you guys to pursue some grand career? Did he leave because he was great at something and could only focus on that, with nothing else distracting him?"
"Not unless you count him being great at being a piece of shit. He left because he got bored with us. I don't think he ever wanted a family. He only cared about himself, and we were too much work. He was a lazy son of a bitch."
"Well I don't think anyone's ever accused Tanner Garrick of being lazy," I said. Before he could open his mouth, I continued. "My point is, there's a big difference between your father and you. He never took responsibility for anything. He was a crappy father with no interest in helping to raise you guys. He had no higher calling, he was no role model. But you're different. When your family needed you, you were there. And you did it at the same time as football. You said yourself you only really committed to the game once your family didn’t need you anymore, so I don’t see why you think this time would be any different. You’re not going to just forget about Izzy because you start playing again.
“That’s the point you’re missing here. When you left home to play with the Stars, you got wrapped up in all that other stuff because you finally could. You no longer had any other responsibilities holding you back. But now that you have Izzy, I don’t see why you’d be any less capable of remembering that she is a priority than you did when your brothers needed you. I have no doubt you can be both a great father and a great football player, Tanner. You have incredible drive and energy, and you're amazing at everything you do."
He raised his eyebrow at me, so I narrowed my eyes. "Don't get a swelled head, I haven't seen you do everything, I'm sure you have your weaknesses. My point is, you're not your father. I don't have to have met him to know that you're a far, far better man than he ever was. You would never let your family down when they really needed you. You've proven that many times. But that also means you shouldn't let go of everything you’ve ever worked for. I may not know a lot about the game, but I'm fairly confident you aren't the first man to play football and raise a daughter."
"Yeah, but most of them aren't doing it alone," he said.
I put my finger up to his lips, pressing against it to hush him. I slid my naked body against his and positioned myself until I was right in front of his face, making sure I had his full attention when I spoke.
"And neither are you."
36
Tanner
It was nearing midnight by the time I got home. At first I'd felt a
little guilty leaving Roxie and Quinn alone with Izzy for so long, although she'd been asleep for hours. Yet when I'd called to say goodnight to her, Quinn told me not to worry about it and take as much time as I needed. Delaney got the same answer from her friend Roxie, who assured her that she was in no big rush to leave. I appreciated how much both of them were helping out. I didn't even know Roxie, but she was probably doing it more as a favor to Delaney and Izzy than me.
Of course, everything made a lot more sense when I walked in the front door. Apparently, I should have knocked before entering my own apartment.
My brother was sitting on the couch with his back to me, Roxie straddling his lap. They'd dimmed the lights, but from my spot in the hallway by the front door I could still very clearly see that her shirt was open, and her red bra was hanging across the armrest next to her. Quinn's face was buried in her chest and her eyes were closed, head tilted back and hands draped across his bare shoulders. Neither of them noticed me at all.
"Maybe you should have hung that bra on the doorknob," I mused loudly. "Isn't that the international signal used to avoid situations like this?"
Roxie's eyes snapped open, widening at the sight of me.
"Shit bro, sorry about this. We weren't sure when you'd be back..." Quinn lifted Roxie off of his lap and placed her down next to him on the couch as he turned to look at me. It was hard to tell behind his beard, but it looked like he was grinning.
Roxie giggled as she snatched up her bra and pulled her shirt closed, holding it together with her free hand. She didn't seem embarrassed either.
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