by Mari Carr
Oh fuck. Vicky. It would be harder to bear for her than JD. The two had always been inseparable. He could help them be strong. They were better together. “I want to be there when you do.”
Seth breathed deep several times in a row. “Okay.”
“So I’ll see you at the airport?” He couldn’t wait to be there. With Seth. If he could drive several hundred miles an hour, he’d tear out of this godforsaken city and haul ass directly to Wyoming.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll text you the flight info.” Staying professional would help him brazen through this. But some part of him, the fraction that might still be ten years old, didn’t understand how to do that. “Seth?”
“Yeah?”
“We’re gonna get through this, right?” Sam’s voice cracked and he didn’t pretend otherwise.
It reminded him of the time he’d tumbled out of the hayloft. Pain had raced up his leg, then his spine. Seth had carried him to the truck while Sawyer ran to get their folks. Sam had only been ten at the time, and he’d looked at Seth as his savior, asking him if his leg would be okay, if he’d be crippled or walk with a limp.
These days it was Silas fighting that battle, his injuries far worse than Sam’s simple fracture. Good thing they had grown stronger. They’d have to be to survive a wound deeper and more painful than all the individual injuries they’d suffered combined.
Seth said now what he’d said then. “We’re gonna get through this just fine.”
Sam hung up the phone, praying his brother’s words were true.
Chapter Four
Mountains glowed with late afternoon sunshine, welcoming Sam home. Blue-black streams snaked through canyons from snow-capped heights. They bisected golden prairies and fed glittering lakes nestled among lush green grass. As vividly as if it had been yesterday, he remembered this scenery in reverse—cattle shrinking into tiny specks in the vast landscape as he jetted off to a cosmopolitan paradise.
One that had become his own personal hell.
He’d had plenty of time to reflect on Belinda, his career and JD on the trip across the country. Funny how what had seemed like an apocalypse this morning seemed almost inconsequential when faced with the fleetingness of life. The more he considered the future he’d begged for, then slaved over, the more he wondered why he’d sacrificed so much for The Man.
It had never been about money. Sure, that part was nice. He had expensive tastes and loved to indulge in fancy toys. But none of them had ever made him as happy as achieving his independence. A young kid from a rural, work-to-the-bone background could transform into someone powerful, smart and important. At least, he’d been determined to make that leap.
Too bad he’d have had all those things anyway if he’d stayed home.
It hadn’t seemed the same to him. He’d itched to earn it, not inherit it, and he supposed he’d shown the only person who mattered—himself—that it was possible. He’d traveled the world both as a foreign exchange student in London and during a three-month triumphant stint after he’d graduated with honors from Columbia. He’d studied with top talent in his field, experienced cultural diversification and engaged in sexual adventures he never could have found on Compass Ranch.
So he was confident down to his marrow. No other place would live up to this one.
No matter what lay in front of them, he didn’t intend to leave home again unless it was on vacation. With technology, he could trade from here as well as he could from The Street. Surrounded by people with integrity and hearts brimming with generous love, he couldn’t ask for more.
If only they needed him, too.
Colby, Si and Seth could help with the physical shit he’d never mastered while he focused on managing the business side of JD’s empire. He prepared to share his plan with Seth as diligently as he had crafted his fund pitch.
Sinking steadily on the escalator, he had an eagle-eye view of the crowd milling around the luggage carousel. When he caught sight of Seth, slumped with his hands jammed in the pockets of ripped Levi’s, Sam switched gears. The guy couldn’t have looked more miserable if he were the poster child for some bizarre disease that rotted your cock off.
Middle of the airport or not, Sam didn’t give a fuck. He strode to Seth and yanked him into a fierce, one-armed hug. Damn, he’d always been a tough son of a bitch, but years of labor had filled him out. After relying on pictures and conference calls, Sam admitted Seth was even more impressive in person.
“Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out.” He promised his brother.
“Not whatever.” Seth groaned. “Whoever.”
“A woman. It figures.” Sam squeezed Seth harder. He could relate. “Tell me about it. Did she fuck around on you?”
“Jody?” He shook his head. “No, she screwed around with me.”
“What?” Sam couldn’t have heard that right. “You slept with someone else’s girlfriend?”
“Fiancée actually.”
“Wow.” Sam tilted his head. He’d swear Seth wasn’t joking. Mr. Squeaky Clean would have to go temporarily insane with lust, or love, to do something like that. “Uh, maybe you’d better fill me in.”
It took the entire ride home to explain Seth’s relationship woes. Sam didn’t mind relegating his drama to the backburner. It all seemed like a crazy dream in any case. It wasn’t as if talking things through would change the end result for him.
Seth still had a chance.
By the time they passed the ranch’s property line, Sam thought he might have gotten off lucky. At least he hadn’t lost his heart to Belinda. Only his pride.
“She’ll come around, Seth.” Sam caught the hopelessness in his brother’s eyes. “And if she doesn’t, she deserves to marry that other guy.”
“No, Jody deserves the best.” Seth accelerated despite the bumps in the gravel-covered grooves that formed the long driveway. “I may not be perfect, but I would love her with everything I have. Shit, Sam, I’ve done that for years already. I wish you could meet her.”
“Meet her? Bro, I’ve already seen her naked.” Sam ducked when Seth took a swipe at him.
At least Seth laughed. “Sexy as hell, isn’t she?”
“Not too shabby.” Sam smiled as his brother parked the truck.
“And, fuck, we should have decided what the plan of attack is here.” Seth glanced at him from the corner of his eye. “You have to be ready. When you see JD. Well, it’s been a while, right?”
“Almost three years.” Sam stared out the window at every rock and tree he knew by heart.
“It’s okay, Sam.” Seth angled toward him, buying them a little more time. “We each had to follow our own path. They know that. They’re okay with it. At least you didn’t pull a Silas and stay gone an entire decade. But…try to act like JD’s the same, okay?”
“That bad?” A ball of unease slid through his guts.
“I’m surprised no one here called it out sooner.” He sighed. “I think he might have been fighting this for a while by himself. You know how he is. And to tell the truth, he’s older and it’s starting to show. Kind of freaked me out at first. So different from the guy I remember. But he’s the same JD inside.”
“Stubborn? Determined? Fair? Hardworking?”
“Yeah. Don’t forget kickass. If you rate it, he’ll take you down, then help you find your feet again.” Seth groaned. “He cornered me this morning about going after Jody.”
“You told him?” Sam wondered what their father had thought of Seth kidnapping another rancher’s daughter and making love to her regardless of her sham engagement. “Brave.”
“Fuck no, not all the details. Didn’t have to anyway. I think he might have called Thomas.” His brother smacked his head on the window. “God help me if her dad teams up with JD.”
“I’ve got your back, Seth.” Sam slapped his brother’s thigh, waking him out of his trance. “No matter what. At least I’ll help you with a head start when the dude busts through the front door with a shotgun.”
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“Gee, thanks. Asshole.” Seth grinned as he climbed out.
Sam dropped from the oversized pickup. Dust in the yard puffed beneath the soles of his Cole Haan wingtips and clung to his black trousers. His urban uniform would have to go. Jeans and boots, he must have packed some cowboy essentials, right?
He couldn’t for the life of him remember what he’d stuffed in his Samsonite carry-on.
With one hand on the door of the truck, he glanced up at the scene he’d borne on his skin for close to a decade. It’d resided in his heart far longer. Live and in person, not flipped in the mirror after a shower, it took him a second to reorient himself.
The modern pin-up standing dead center, outside the barn door, was a nice addition. Petite, blond—except for a few crazy yet stylish lavender highlights—she sported fashionable, thick-framed glasses that would make her look like an unassuming nerd if every instinct didn’t scream better. A trendy denim skirt, cowgirl boots and a ruffled silk blouse rounded out her simply sexy ensemble.
Their eyes met and locked.
“Jesus, Sam.” Seth’s low growl wouldn’t travel to the woman making Sam’s cock stir despite the long, hard winter he’d promised the tool for being tricked by fancy ass. “Take a fucking picture, why don’t you?”
“Who is she?” He grimaced, then spun toward the main house. “Never mind. Don’t answer that.”
Seth laughed. “Cindi could be just what you need to forget whatever tucked your tail between your legs. I’d offer to return the ear you lent me tonight, but you might be better off in her oh-so-capable hands. She’s sweet as can be, and I’ve heard she’s pretty wild. Careful though, JD has sort of adopted her. Sick or not, he’ll crush you if you hurt her.”
“No one’s getting hurt. Fuck. No one’s getting anything.” Sam couldn’t believe they were having this conversation. “In fact, I think I might try a strictly no-sex diet for a while.”
“You and me both.” Seth scrubbed his face.
When he opened his eyes again, Sam thought he might have seen the sheen of tears there. Holy fuck. “Don’t worry, Seth. I’m sure there’s some other explanation for your girl. She read your note. She’ll come around. Knowing you, you probably picked the most stubborn filly in the lot. Serves you right, fucker.”
His goading had exactly the intended effect. Seth laughed as he grappled with Sam, putting him in a headlock long enough to attempt the mother of all noogies.
“Oh, ho. I see you’ve been working out. You’re hiding some power in that scrawny little frame.” Seth shook his head as they declared a truce.
Only next to his brothers would he be considered weak. Was it any wonder he’d learned to show off his physical prowess to admiring crowds? They sauntered up to the house with Seth’s arm flung across his back.
Sam peeked over his shoulder. The woman—Seth had called her Cindi—leaned against the barn with one foot on the wall, her knee bent. She grinned in their direction.
Damn.
He tripped on the first of the porch steps and whipped around to avoid a full-out face plant. Great first impression.
Seth’s grip steadied him.
“Thanks.”
“I’ll always be right here.” Seth paused with one hand on the door to the kitchen.
“Same goes, bro.”
“You ready?”
“Let’s do it.” Sam nodded. They rushed inside like cops on a raid.
From behind Seth’s broad shoulders, Sam first caught sight of Silas and Colby sandwiching Lucy on one side of the dining room table. Lucy’s eyes grew wide as she stared in his direction. She might have jumped up to greet him if Silas hadn’t laid a restraining hand on her forearm. Though she quieted instantly, the warmth in her smile packed as big of a punch as a bear hug. It smothered him with her welcome.
“The chicken will be done in a minute.” Vicky’s announcement drifted closer. “Why don’t you kids start with some salad while you’re waiting? Oh, Seth. They said you were running errands. Wash up and join—”
Seth took a giant step to the side.
Lettuce flew in every direction. A carrot bounced off the lamp hanging over the table, setting it to swinging in a soft arc. Colby snatched the sage ceramic bowl before it smashed on the plank flooring.
“Hi.” Sam tried to smile. It probably came out more like a weird pout. Overwhelming emotions, so intense they defied description or even identification, paralyzed him. For the first time in his life, Sam saw his sharp, sassy mother without a single thing to say. She stood with her mouth open, sputtering.
Then she put one hand over her heart and wobbled.
He rushed forward, brushing Seth aside, and scooped her into his arms.
“Sam.” She stroked his cheek. “Is it really you?”
“Yeah, Ma.” He hugged her so tight she squeaked. “It’s me.”
“But it’s not my birthday or Mother’s Day or Christmas… What are you doing here?”
Silas barked a laugh no one else echoed.
“Oh no.” Lids more wrinkled than he remembered hid her eyes.
“Do you feel okay?” Sam led her to a chair at the table. He’d never seen her react like this. The subtle indications of her shock seemed as wild as hysterics from his steadfast mother. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have surprised you like that. I wasn’t thinking.”
“No, no. It’s okay. Better than.” She kept her hand in constant contact with him, patting his arm and squeezing his knee as he settled beside her. “God, how I’ve missed you.”
“Same here.” He thanked his brothers for not ridiculing the hitch in his admission.
“It’s just that—”
JD chose then to amble into the room. Good thing Sam already sat. His father looked as though he’d aged ten years in the three since Sam had seen him last. He seemed to have shrunk. Where before his jeans would have stretched tight over powerful muscles, they hung baggy on his frame. His tan had faded to yellowish and his salt and pepper hair had transitioned to completely silver.
“Welcome home, son.”
“JD.” He couldn’t manage more than that. And before he could figure out what to say, Vicky had torn from his grasp and launched herself across the room.
“How dare you keep secrets from me?” She shocked the shit out of them all by laying her palms flat on her husband’s chest and shoving.
JD didn’t budge a fraction of an inch.
“I didn’t know Sam was coming.” He shook his head as he stared at Vicky. Her burst of energy caved easily to his soothing arms as he tucked his petite wife against his side. They fit together so perfectly it was hard to imagine them apart.
“JD Compton, that is not what I meant and you damn well know it.” Her fingers balled. She crumpled his loose shirt in her fists. “Just tell me already. I can’t stand you all staring at me like this. It’s bad. Real bad. Don’t you think I’ve noticed? You’re slower to climb out of bed in the morning. All that tossing and turning at night. The endless coughing you’re trying to hide. Silas and Seth are home. Now Sam. Say it, JD. Please. Just say it. I can’t keep ignoring this anymore and pretending everything is peachy. Damn you. Say. It.”
JD looked to the ceiling, took a giant breath, then gripped his wife’s shoulders in his gnarled fingers. He stared straight into her eyes and put it simple. “I’m dying. Ain’t got much time left. I’m so sorry for leaving you. You know I’d never do it if I had a choice.”
No tears streamed down her face.
No angry curses burst from her lips.
No bitterness marred her innate grace.
Instead, she nodded and focused on the facts. “Were you at Dr. Cahill’s this morning? Is that where you boys went?”
“Yes. They wouldn’t shut the hell up about it.” JD rolled his eyes. “I already told them what the tests would show. Now it’s for sure.”
“Is there any point in a second opinion? Any treatments to try? What exactly are we talking about here?” Her shoulders spread as she braced herself.
Sam had never met anyone as brave as his mom.
“It’s stage three pancreatic cancer, babe.” JD nuzzled her hair. “I’m sorry. So damn sorry. I’d do anything I could to stay with you and the boys. Anything. I’ve been fighting as hard as I can.”
“You always have.” She kissed his cheek extra softly.
Sam thought his chest might shatter. He’d trade every penny he’d earned to buy them more time together—days, hours, minutes or even seconds. Some things were priceless.
“I’m tired, V.” JD rested his forehead against his wife’s. As if a huge burden had been lifted from his shoulders, he sagged. Colby reached him first as Silas tried to shift his bad leg and stand.
Lucy restrained the eldest Compass Brother with a feather-light touch of her fingertips on Si’s scarred arm. They embraced while JD allowed the ranch’s foreman to usher him and Vicky to the table.
Colby spun toward the kitchen peninsula and filled a glass full of cold well water. Then he snagged a bottle of whiskey too. He held both out to Vicky.
She smiled at him. “Thank you, honey.”
A clink followed the cap bouncing on the table. She strangled the neck of the Johnnie Walker Black Label and glugged several fingers worth of liquor straight from the bottle.
Silas stared at the rich tawny liquid.
Their mom didn’t offer it to him. Instead, she calmly replaced the top, then set it on the floor, out of sight. She allowed herself one tiny sniffle. “For so long I’ve prayed to have my sons back home. More than one at a time. For longer than a day or two. And now that you’re here, it isn’t what I imagined. I’m afraid, well… It’s silly, right? Careful what you wish for and all.”
“Don’t talk crazy.” JD rubbed her lower back. “This isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s life. It’s how things work. Hell, we always knew it’d probably come to this. The only thing I hated about being older than you. I never wanted to leave you alone.”
Vicky buried her face in JD’s blue and black plaid work-shirt. “I love you. So much. Don’t worry about me. As long as the ranch is standing, I’ll never be lonely. We’ve built something together that will outlast us all. This place. Our family. Our sons.”
