Wall of Silence

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Wall of Silence Page 9

by Dorey Whittaker


  ***

  Scott had accidentally run into Susan and her mother twice and didn’t like Marjorie Miller at all. She was rude, and her vocabulary was raw. Susan was horribly embarrassed at her mother’s behavior. Susan knew that Scott was aware of her discomfort and intentionally kept both meetings as short as possible. Susan’s numerous apologies for her mother’s behavior, along with the pain Scott could see in her eyes, made him dislike Marjorie. She had such a mean streak, and she seemed to delight in her despicable behavior in front of her daughter’s friends. Scott cared little about what Marjorie did or said, other than how it hurt Susan, so when she asked him to stay away from their apartment, he respected her request.

  Scott kept a busy schedule those first two years. He found it hard to spend a lot of time with Susan because his feelings were so strong and he was afraid he would scare her off. She never hid her fear of marriage and having children. Even though she had changed tremendously in the past several years, he knew she still was not ready for a serious relationship—but he was. Scott dated different women in town but always found himself comparing them to Susan, and he would soon lose interest. Though determined to avoid her, within days he would find himself making all kinds of excuses in order to be with her, so he decided they would simply spend a lot of time together as friends. He would rather have the struggle of keeping his feelings in check than to miss out on the time they were able to spend together.

  ***

  Susan’s life had never been this exciting. Her days were filled with work that she loved, dinners with Scott, late evenings studying her college courses, and weekends spent with Scott and his parents. Life just couldn’t get any better. She and her mother had finally settled into a workable relationship. It was workable because Susan was never home. For almost two years life didn’t appreciably change, which suited Susan. Soon after receiving her diploma from the community college, Susan decided not to pursue further college courses. She knew her mother would throw a fit if she wasted anymore time in college instead of bringing more money into the household, but Susan’s real reason was personal. She hated the hours that studying took away from her time with Scott.

  Late in September, Mrs. Randal invited Susan to take a coffee break together. Mrs. Randal asked, quite unexpectedly, “Susan, do you intend to go on for a four-year degree?”

  Unsure of what Mrs. Randal was hoping to hear, Susan hesitated, afraid to say what she really wanted. “I don’t have any set plans. Actually, I’m enjoying my job so much that at times I find myself resenting college for interfering with time I could spend here at work.”

  Mrs. Randal smiled. “Now, Susan, I don’t want to be responsible for your decision not to pursue further college education, but I don’t want to lose you either. I’m offering you a full-time position with the company, and I will look forward to knowing what you decide is the next best step for you.”

  Susan didn’t hesitate; she accepted even before Mrs. Randal could finish presenting the details of the offer. Mrs. Randal chuckled at how quickly Susan had accepted. She hadn’t even waited to hear that she was also being offered a significant and much-deserved raise. She loved her job, and now free of the demands of college, she would be able to spend more time at work. Susan thanked Mrs. Randal and could hardly wait to find Scott to share her good news with him. She hoped to invite him out for a celebration dinner.

  Scott suggested they drive into the country, outside Atlanta, and have dinner at a wonderful old southern plantation that had been converted into a restaurant. They had discovered this place during one of their Saturday treasure hunts that first summer. They both loved its graceful, southern charm. Each room on the first floor had been converted into dining rooms, some designed for private dining and some for shared dining with other guests. Not wanting to share Susan tonight, Scott called ahead to reserve the intimate front reading room. It was Susan’s favorite, with floor to ceiling bookcases filled with aged, collectible leather-bound books. Scott reserved this room because it was special to Susan, but he had another reason as well. He wanted to be alone with her tonight because he decided it was time to tell her he loved her.

  After he made the dinner reservation, he decided to go all out and rented a bright-red convertible for the evening. He wanted tonight to be special.

  At the close of the workday, Scott eagerly walked into Susan’s office. What he really wanted to do was to burst into her office and shout, “I love you, Susan! Will you please marry me?” He resisted this urge, however, and instead, calmly stopped at her door just as she was putting away the last items on her desk. “Are you ready, Susan?”

  Stepping through the doorway, she reminded Scott, “Don’t forget, tonight is my treat.” Scott wasn’t going to argue the point right now. They chatted as they made their way to the company’s parking garage.

  The rental agent was there, standing right next to a shiny red convertible. “As you requested, it’s all ready for you, Mr. Thomas. Here are the keys. Have a wonderful evening.”

  Scott held the door open for Susan. “I thought I’d make this night special. I’ve always liked convertibles.” As he closed her door, he looked at her smiling face and his heart skipped a beat as he thought about what he was finally going to do tonight. He had waited two years for this night, and he wanted it to be wonderful.

  Scott quickly made it out of the city, deciding to take his favorite route to the plantation. This particular road had stately old trees that lined each side of the road, forming a canopy with just enough sky at the top to allow a beautiful view of the nighttime stars. Scott had fantasized about this road, this girl, and this night for more than a year! Here he was, Susan beside him, and the radio was playing a love song. He tried to relax and enjoy the moment, not wanting to be so focused on what he was about to do that he missed the joy of every single minute of this night.

  “Susan, why don’t you tell me about your new job?” As Susan began talking excitedly, sharing all that Mrs. Randal had told her, Scott was watching her beautiful face and those happy, sparkling eyes. He wanted to spend his whole life keeping her as happy as she was tonight, wanting so desperately to be the one to protect her and have her eyes shine for him.

  Susan leaned back against the seat, closed her eyes, and thought about how much she enjoyed doing things with Scott. As with every major event in her life these past two years, she couldn’t wait to tell him all about it and get his opinion. She loved to sit and listen to him talk about the things he was doing at work. She especially loved when he used her as his sounding board when preparing a big presentation. What she didn’t enjoy hearing was any information about the women he was dating. Though he never got too personal, Susan always felt uncomfortable whenever he would talk about the different places he was planning to take one of his dates. She knew she had no right to be jealous, but she and Scott always had so much fun together; she wanted to be the one to do those activities with him.

  Lately, she found herself inventing reasons to talk with Scott after work, hoping the conversation would keep going right through dinner and into the evening. She especially hated those times when he was forced to go on business trips. Regardless of how busy she kept herself, she missed him. Sometimes when he was away for a day or two, she would walk into his office so she could close her eyes, take a deep breath, and savor the lingering smell of his cologne. She knew she was falling in love with him and that produced a firestorm of emotions within her. She never wanted to fall in love. She had decided long ago that marriage was not for her, but then Scott walked into her life and suddenly she was challenging all her old rules. Could she really entrust her life in the hands of another person? What if she gave in to these emotions, and he didn’t feel the same? What if he just thought of her as a kid sister? After all, he missed Carol Anne, and she was convinced he was spending all this time with her because he missed his sister. But tonight, she wasn’t going to think about that. She didn’t care what his reason was. As long as she could be close to him, she was
happy.

  Susan opened her eyes, turned to look at Scott, and found him smiling at her. “What? Why are you smiling at me?” She felt the blood rushing to her face and knew she was blushing, and she hated it. It made her feel so juvenile when she blushed.

  Scott gave her that familiar half-smile she had come to love and said, “No reason in particular. I just like looking over and seeing you there. You know, I really do enjoy being with you.”

  She felt herself blush again and looked forward, his words ringing in her ears, Enjoy being with you. She thought, See, Susan, he merely enjoys being with you. So don’t let your imagination run away with you. Just enjoy what you have and don’t hope for anything more.

  While Susan’s mind raced, Scott mentally replayed his comment, I really enjoy being with you. His mind screamed, If I don’t tell you soon I’m going to burst! Enjoy being with you … I can’t stand being away from you! Scott took a deep breath, checked his watch, and mused, Just be patient, Scott. You’ll have your answer soon enough.

  Sweet music was the first thing to greet them as they pulled into the parking lot of the old plantation. During the summer the restaurant hired a string quartet that positioned themselves at the far left corner of the verandah. The music was peaceful, and the large old-fashioned fans mounted in the ceiling of the porch sent the sounds flowing through all the windows of the house, softly delivering a warm ambience to the guests inside.

  Scott and Susan stopped momentarily to enjoy the beauty of the wonderful old house. Every window was alive with light, and the house looked as if it were hosting a grand old party as it had in days gone by.

  Walking up the wide, wooden steps leading to the large verandah that encircled the entire first floor, Susan gazed at the house and wished it could tell her some of its stories. She tried to imagine women in days past, with their wide-hooped skirts, walking up these same steps. She couldn’t help but wonder what this old plantation had seen, both good and bad.

  The hostess greeted them as they entered the restaurant and walked them into the reading room. In the center of the room was a charming table set for two. The delicate china rimmed with tiny yellow roses, along with the silver settings, represented ultimate southern elegance. The water goblets sparkled, reflecting the light from the crystal chandelier that hung directly above the table. A fireplace on the far wall housed a large basket of wildflowers. In winter there would be a blazing fire, but now, in this Georgia summer, they enjoyed the fragrance of wildflowers that filled the room. The lace curtains fluttered in the gentle breeze from the fans outside.

  Once seated, Susan noticed a card addressed to her tucked in a bouquet of miniature yellow roses. She gave Scott a puzzled glance as she began to read. “Susan, may this be a beautiful evening for a beautiful woman. Love, Scott.”

  Susan laid the note down and tried to keep her voice from shaking as she said, “Thank you for the flowers, Scott. There is no one I would rather share this special evening with than you.”

  Scott, who’d been unsure of how she was taking the note, had begun to question his timing. What if Susan wasn’t ready to get serious? She had been very outspoken about never getting married. Was he moving too fast?

  But now he was speechless. Their small talk was agonizing, and he wanted to get to the point. He intended to wait until after dinner, but that was going to be impossible. As he leaned forward, mentally putting his words together, the waiter walked in asking to take their order. Scott took a deep breath and leaned back in his chair. This was going to be a long night. Susan was sitting so close to him—her shiny black hair shimmering around her face, the faint hint of her perfume-filling his senses, her knee gently touching his. He almost wished she would stop staring at him. He couldn’t think straight with her eyes smiling at him.

  After the waiter took their order, Scott excused himself for a moment and followed the waiter out of the room. As soon as they were out of Susan’s sight, Scott stopped the waiter and explained that he did not want to be disturbed for the next several minutes and requested a slight delay in serving dinner or drinks. Scott returned to the reading room, and the waiter quietly pulled the pocket doors closed.

  Scott took his seat across from Susan. Before she could say anything, Scott slid out of his seat, came around the table, and knelt beside her chair. Scott gently took hold of her hand and kissed it. He held it to his chest as he began talking. He took a deep breath and said, “Susan, I’ve loved you for two years now, and I can’t keep quiet any longer. I can’t stand being away from you, and any thought of living my life without you is inconceivable. There is nothing in the world I want more than to love you and make you happy. Susan, will you please marry me?”

  With that, Scott kissed her hand again and waited for her answer.

  Susan could hardly focus on what he said. She could actually feel his heart pounding against her hand. She sat frozen, not quite believing what she had heard. She had dreamed of this moment for almost two years but never believed it could actually happen. Scott Thomas was telling her he loved her and that he wanted to marry her. Struggling to find her voice, almost afraid to break the magic of the moment, she barely whispered her answer. “Yes.”

  In one single move, Scott pulled her chair away from the table and took her into his arms. He smiled down into that face he had come to love and gently kissed her for the very first time. Susan’s response to his kiss was more than enough answer for him. He could feel her in his arms, almost melting into him. Her kiss was not timid and he loved it. There certainly was no fear in her response. They stood in each other’s arms kissing, talking, laughing, and kissing again. They were almost talking over each other, expressing the feelings that had been bottled up for so long. They both had forgotten there were other people in the world until the waiter knocked gently on the door.

  Keeping Susan in his arms, Scott called, “Come in.”

  As the waiter pulled the doors open and saw the couple embracing, he smiled a knowing smile. Scott smiled back and said, “She said yes!”

  The waiter congratulated them both and then asked, “Are you two hungry yet?”

  Susan started laughing and said, “I’m starving.”

  Within moments, their celebration dinner was served, and they realized how famished they were. Every once in awhile though, Scott would lean back in his chair and stare at his beautiful fiancée. She had actually said yes. He wanted to shout to the world, “Susan Miller is going to be my wife!”

  It was almost eleven when they left the restaurant. Neither wanted that evening to end. In contented silence, they drove back toward Atlanta, Scott’s arm around Susan, and her head on his shoulder. The memory of this evening would forever be crystal clear in their minds. Every once in awhile, Scott bent down and kissed her. Tonight had been everything he had hoped for, and more.

  Chapter 8

  As arranged, Scott met Susan at the bottom of the stairs of the apartment building the next morning at seven. They planned to arrive at his parents’ home and share the good news before breakfast. Susan had not yet shared the news with her mother as she didn’t want anything to dampen her enjoyment of this special time. She knew her mother was not going to like this and was sure to cause problems—but not this morning, if Susan could help it.

  ***

  Scott called his mother early that morning to inform her he was coming over but gave no explanation. When the happy couple quietly walked through the side door, the aroma of coffee and the smell of fresh-baked biscuits welcomed them. Scott’s mother was slicing a melon at the kitchen sink while his dad was busy setting the breakfast table in front of the bay window overlooking the pool.

  His parents turned in unison as Scott cleared his throat to announce their arrival. Seeing their son arm in arm with broad smiles on both their faces, it was obvious what had happened. Not allowing time for anyone else to speak, Scott blurted, “We’re getting married!”

  Without warning, Susan felt a tremendous wave of panic overtake her as she heard him
make this announcement. A frenzy of doubts stormed her mind. How are they going to react to this news? It’s one thing for me to be their daughter’s friend. They have always been kind, loving, and accepting of me. But that was different. I was simply a friend. Becoming the wife of their beloved son is quite another thing. They aren’t going to want me for a daughter-in-law. If they knew all about my family, they would cringe with shame just like I do.

  Dreading that look of disappointment she knew was going to be on their faces, Susan suddenly had an urge to run. Her thoughts screamed, I can’t stand this! I love them too much to be such a burden to them. I can’t blame them for wanting their only son to marry well. Scott deserves the best. What was I thinking last night? How could I have ever thought this would be possible?

  Scott felt Susan stiffen and was puzzled to see the fright in her eyes at such a special moment for them. He gave her a gentle squeeze and a reassuring smile and then leaned over and whispered, “Susan, what’s the matter? Are you all right?”

  Before Susan could respond, Caroline dropped the knife in the sink and came straight to Susan and embraced her. Bill quickly followed, putting his arm around Scott. Caroline knew more about this girl than just about anyone, except for Carol Anne. She knew about some of Susan’s childhood and the pain and suffering she must have experienced. She was aware that adults who suffered through such childhoods always brought baggage into a marriage, but she also knew Susan. She knew her strengths, her loving nature, and her sweet, kind heart that had been opening up, ever so slowly. Susan was the very best choice she could ever have picked for her son, baggage and all. “Susan, I can’t tell you how happy I am my son had the good sense to ask you to be his bride. I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

 

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