by Combs, Sasha
When his lungs drew in a deep intake of air; William released the breath in a sigh, feeling the lift of a weight that earlier had lay heavy on him. He didn’t fully understand why his burden had lightened. Yet, he recognized the feeling. William looked away just before coming to a standing position. He walked over to the bar to pour himself a glass of water. When he turned, he noticed that Pamela was standing near the doors entrance. He didn’t want her to leave and he was regretting his kiss. He’d always known that she liked him but over the years and after her many boyfriends; William had thought Pamela had moved on pass those feelings. Yet, given the way that she stared at him; he knew that something akin to affection still lingered.
“I’d better get back out there. Mom and dad will want to know that I found you and that you’re all right.”
William placed the glass on the bar, then casually strolled to where she stood. He straightened his tie, then looked into the well of her hazel eyes. He conjured up a smile befitting the occasion for the day. After he’d made his adjustments, he waited for her appraisal.
Pamela nodded. “You look fine.”
“All right then...lets go find Michael and LaShawn. I’m sure they’ll need a break from the mourners by now.”
As William reached pass her for the doorknob, Pamela placed her hand on his to stop him.
“William...we aren’t tired. Mom and dad are happy to do this for you...Morgan and Bianca’s parents. You don’t have to go back out there if you don’t want to.”
Her protective nature touched his soul. This time when he lowered his head, placing his lips on the side of her face; he lingered, drinking in her tenderness. He inhaled the perfume that she’d dotted behind her ear. Strands of her hair, brushed across his face and William took note to catalog the memory. Slowly he withdrew, not wanting to make more of this. He placed one hand on her shoulder, guiding her towards the door.
“I’d love nothing more than to stay in here with you but formalities require me to make more than just an appearance. I really should thank my guest for coming.”
“But...”
Pamela turned, wanting to protest but William stopped her by placing one finger to her lips, stifling her words. When she looked at him, his face said a thousand sentences and Pamela felt guilty because he worried over her concerns.
“Pamela, since socializing is expected at these kind of gatherings, you could do me one favor.”
“Whatever it is I’ll do it.”
William didn’t know what he’d done to deserve her devotion, all the same, she made him feel grateful and he took her hand in his to kiss her palm.
“Stay by my side. I don’t know if I can do this alone.”
Pamela fought back the tears that threatened to fall. One side of her mouth lifted, forming a half smile, while her head lowered in agreement.
As he laced their fingers, for the few seconds that they remained in the library; an understanding had been reached. This touch held within it a peace that he’d not known for days and every part of his being needed this. He felt a sense of rapture. William knew if they remained there a second longer, he wouldn’t leave the library. So, with no words spoken, they both turned, and left the room.
A steady pace of feet moving across the carpeted hallway was the only noise to be heard. The sound wasn’t loud, but the absence of more sounds made Pamela feel that talking was called for. She was feeling particularly nervous and she didn’t want this emotion to show.
“Morgan is asleep in her bedroom and your parents are staying nearby to console her if she wakes and starts crying again.”
William nodded, grateful for her little update. Later, he would need to check on his daughter for himself.
“Thank you Pamela.”
“For what? I told you that I’m here to help you.”
“You’ve been such a great help and I appreciate the time that you’ve spent with my daughter, watching over her and being that steady hand that she needs right now.”
Pamela humbly smiled. As they walked down the hall, the rest of the way they remained silent. Once they entered the large open foyer, their fingers unlaced, showing no sign of their union or the pact that they’d made. Fingers that seconds earlier had been tied like shoestrings, now their hands lay at their sides, no longer bound for comfort. Even though the link had been purposely severed; like two orbiting bodies, they were never far apart. Pamela was the strength that William needed to make it through one of the most difficult days of his life. Not once did he second guess his request when he asked Pamela to remain by his side nor did he consider the possible ramifications linked to this wish. As his best friends daughter, William never realized the impact his words would have on Pamela. At the time he was seeking out a way to mend his broken heart. And Pamela’s consoling comfort was exactly what he needed.
_____________________
Chapter 1
One Year Later
“The numbers look great Bill. I don’t think there’s any need to worry. Taking a little vacation now won’t affect the gains that we’ve made. You’re a shoe-in for reelection.”
Frederick Reaves filled his glass with bottled water while William studied the numbers from the latest poll. His campaign manager was right. He was far ahead in the polls and unless he did something idiotic, the election was in the bag but he still didn’t want to take any chances.
“I don’t know Fred. I don’t mean to be a pessimist but I never rely on polls as my only source of encouragement. I just don’t like taking things like this for granted. The numbers may be good but leaving so soon after those town hall meetings. Well,...taking off on a vacation might not be viewed to well by the voters, especially with so many hot issues still to be debated.”
“Bill...a year has passed since you lost your wife. As far as anyone else is concerned, the date on the calendar marks this time period as the anniversary of Bianca’s death. That can hardly be viewed as a vacation. You need this time away from Washington and your constituents.”
Frederick could be crude and downright tackless but William did understand his point. If he campaigned straight through the anniversary of his wife’s death, his opponent could use this against him. The thought was highly unlikely but in politics sometimes the guy in the rear wouldn’t be opposed to playing dirty.
“Has Mandy contacted the school?”
Frederick drank from his glass before responding.
“Yes, Morgan’s counselor and the headmistress at St. Margaret’s have been contacted and your secretary has made all the other plans as specified by me. A flower arrangement is being sent to the cemetery with your late wife’s favorites. Donations to the three charities founded by Bianca will be hand delivered to mark the anniversary of her death. Morgan will be flown to your mountain retreat from St. Margaret’s and your parents will arrive hours before her plane lands and you will join them at your home two days later. Everything has been taken care of William. We just need you to push the go button and I’ll make your final arrangements here on this end.”
Frederick ticked the items off his list as if making the decision to go on vacation wasn’t difficult for William. The plan would be a go with or without him, which is the reason William didn’t understand the urgency in the prompting. On the other hand, Frederick's rough inner city roots couldn’t be smoothed, however, he was a political mastermind. For this reason, William found it easy to look pass his gruff exterior. This was a difficult time of the year for him and Morgan. After Bianca’s death, William and his daughter had worked hard to repair their lives. It had not been easy but William had been successful finding happiness again. He wondered if Frederick realized how painful hearing or saying Bianca’s name still was for him.
William raised his head, directing his gaze away from the line of numbers, signifying the opinions of a select group of Massachusetts voters. His eyes caught sight of a man he’d come to admire and respect as a friend and his campaign manager. Frederick still wore the same black suit he’d worn ye
sterday, when he arrived from Boston after a day filled with meetings. This morning, after talking to his pollsters, from the second William walked into his office, Frederick had been beaming over the results. William had never seen anyone more happy over numbers that in his opinion rarely adequately recorded feelings of the collective. At best, William believed polls only reflected the thoughts of those who’d been polled...leaving the rest for you to wonder over. All the same, the numbers had his campaign manager the happiest he’d seen him in days. William was certain, Fred’s life consisted only of his work. He’d never met anyone who worked as tirelessly as Frederick and he’d once thought his devotion as a senator couldn’t be challenged but he’d been wrong. Time and time again, Fred would prove his worth by doing something that would make William question whether the man had a personal life.
Throwing his hands up in the air, William saw no need to debate the issue. If Frederick was suggesting that William join his family at his mountain retreat home, then getting out of Washington had to be a good idea.
“O all right, I give up. Don’t think that I’m upset because I don’t want to spend time with my family...that isn’t it at all. I just don’t like taking time away from my work during this crucial period.”
“William...you are the Golden Boy. You can do no wrong. The way you handled your wife’s death...that was priceless. Your constituents love you. Now go...enjoy your family time. After what you and your daughter lived through this past year; that kind of stuff plays well in the public eyes.”
Being phony is something William never practiced in private or public. He was just about to voice this point to Fred when his secretary Mandy walked into his office unannounced.
“Sorry for this interruption Bill...but if you’re going to meet Morgan in two days then we need to get your signature on these papers.”
The file lay in Mandy’s hand, waiting for him to relieve her of its weight. William stood motionless, still not recovered from Frederick's indelicate words. Clearing his throat, as a way to keep from saying the wrong thing, William watched as Fred went about his business as if he’d not said anything thoughtless. If the election wasn’t so close, he would have reconsidered keeping him on as his campaign manager. William would have feelings of doubt whenever Frederick was crude, which wasn’t very often. In fact, it was only when Frederick talked about Bianca, William noticed that he would become touchy because in truth, the public had admired the way he’d handled the loss of his wife. But no one had ever voiced these headlines out loud to him, until Frederick came along. However, William could not fault Frederick because he had been warned to look out for unexpected statements filled with brutal honesty.
Once his ears no longer rang with Frederick’s words, William looked back at Mandy. By the look of her, her casual dress meant she had made plans to leave early that day. When he looked at Fred, it wasn’t until that moment that it hit him. Frederick intended to leave Washington once he’d agreed to take some time off. This past year had been hard on his staff, especially after he’d returned in his frazzled state of mind. As much as he wanted to keep working, he knew that he needed this time out of his office and away from the campaign.
Taking the file from Mandy’s hand, he noticed how she frowned at Frederick, not hiding her disdain for the man.
“Should I call your barber to arrange for a haircut?”
William rounded his desk, to review the papers while seated. As he began signing the documents after a quick appraisal, his eyes momentarily drifted up to look at Mandy as she still stood waiting at his door.
“No...that won’t be necessary. I’ll have my hair cut while I’m away.”
“All right...but don’t complain about how poorly your hair was cut when you return. You know how you get Bill when Ralph doesn’t cut your hair. He’s the only person that you’ve ever trusted with clippers and scissors near your hair.”
William laughed under his breath. She was right but he wasn’t sure if he had any spare time on his calendar. After he finished signing the documents, William closed the file. He looked at the two people still lingering in his office.
“All right...call Ralph and see if you can get him here tomorrow afternoon. If not, then I’ll have to make other arrangements.”
“I’m sure she can do that for you William. Mandy has a way with the men.”
Frederick’s comment had not been welcomed.
“Ralph is a married man Fred and I’m not the type of woman to date another woman’s husband.”
Frederick laughed but William knew that his secretary wasn’t joking. So instead, to deflate the hot air that was currently brewing in Mandy, William said...
“Frederick...is there anything else that we need to cover?”
Trying to keep the peace between his employees, William believed it was his job to smooth over this awkwardness. He wondered if Frederick knew how offensive his remarks sometimes could be. Then he wondered if his campaign manager even cared.
After he finished his water, Frederick looked at his watch, then he fished his phone from his inner suit coat pocket. While scrolling through his calendar, he spoke.
“I have a few loose ends to tie up here, then I’ll be headed back to Boston. After I get settled this evening back in my hotel room, I’ll give you a call. I’ll make sure that I phone after your committee meetings have ended.”
Frederick stood, then moved leisurely in the direction of the door, before William had the chance to respond. When he did stop, the hesitation had not been prompted by William. A dangling recollection that needed to be shared had been the cause for him halting.
“Oh yeah...and by the way. This vacation of yours has been leaked but the press doesn’t know your true destination. I’ve seeded a number of places...none true and none even remotely near where you will be staying. Don’t worry, by the time they find out where you are...you’ll be back at your home and Morgan will be back at her boarding school.”
With that said, Fred was out the door talking into his bluetooth. Mandy had lifted the file from William’s desk and had begun leafing through the documents, ensuring that each page had been signed. While she did this, her checking didn’t stop her from voicing her complaints and her added comments.
“That man is crude...tasteless and I truly dislike him. I understand your reasons for hiring him but he is an ass.”
“Yes,...but he is a brilliant ass and he’s also the reason I’m ahead in the polls.”
“William you’re a wonderful senator and it wasn’t necessary to hire Frederick to get you reelected. Your record alone would have secured your seat in the senate.”
“I’m not so sure about that. After Bianca’s funeral, I wasn’t as attentive as I should have been. I think that slackness hurt me.”
Mandy stared at William from where she stood. Her eyes were filled with kindness and understanding. Even though she remained silent, It was clear that she disagreed with him but she knew when to cut her losses. William still grieved the loss of his wife, but somehow he’d been able to move forward and she was one of the few people in the world that knew why his heart no longer suffered.
Mandy recalled the other reason she’d come into William’s conference room. It had been Frederick’s offhanded remarks that caused her to forget. She disliked being inefficient.
“O...and by the way. Senator Groover called. The committee scheduled to meet this evening was canceled.”
“Canceled?”
She nodded. “And yes...I know you’re wondering why I didn’t correct Frederick when he mentioned the meeting.”
William didn’t wonder. Mandy disliked many things about Frederick but him micromanaging her topped the list.
As an after thought, she added...
“You have a visitor in your office. Except for me, everyone has either gone for lunch or they’re getting an early start to their weekend.”
“Did everyone else leave early because they were convinced that I would be gung-ho over Frederick’s vacation
idea?”
Mandy laughed. “No...but we knew that Frederick would talk you into going, even if you didn’t want to go. I guess he is good for something.”
William nodded while laughing, then he stood, walking towards his private office. He wouldn’t waste Mandy’s time debating his reasons for hiring Frederick as his campaign manager. It would be a waste of both their time, so he didn’t even broach the subject.
“Let me know when you’re gone for the day Mandy.” he said, just before she returned to the outer lobby area to her work station.
When William opened the door to his private office, once he was inside, he closed it behind him and all at once a peace settled over him, blocking out the problems in his life. This is the way it always was, whenever she was near him. His body melted into a bowl of serenity. A comfort he’d come to depend on. It didn’t matter that these meetings were a secret. William only knew that he could not live without these frequent rendezvous.
With each step, his stride was filled with purpose, moving William across the floor. When she was within reach, he extended his hands, unable to wait any longer, taking her into his arms. In one full swoop, their bodies had become one. He kissed her with an urgent need, a passion filled with fire. The days events had nearly drained him. Her visit was unexpected but welcomed on every level and in his kiss, this feeling was conveyed. William’s hands splayed wide, pulling her back to bring her closer to him. As he did this, the mounds of her breast pressed firmly into his chest. The contact was so close that the rhythm of her heart could clearly be felt with each rapid beat. She was just as excited as him to be here and knowing this thrilled him. They had worked hard keeping their love affair a secret.
After a few moments of kissing, it occurred to William that he’d not given Pamela the opportunity to talk when he entered the room. She had not told him that her schedule would bring her back to Washington so soon. Not knowing her reason for unexpectedly turning up, now had him worried. He wondered if perhaps something was wrong, or maybe she had important news to share with him.
