by Trina M. Lee
His feisty attitude coaxed a smile from me. Though I didn’t believe I was in any danger sitting at home, his concern was appreciated. Sunrise would steal him away.
“Arys isn’t here yet.” I breathed a sigh of relief when I pulled into the driveway. “He’ll come.” What I didn’t say was that I planned on kicking Arys’s ass off my property when he dared to show his face.
“Is that going to get nasty? From the look on your face, I presume that it is.” Willow followed me inside, pausing to survey the large, dark yard. “It’s really beautiful out here. You can actually see the stars.”
With a brief glance skyward, I nodded. The stars called to my wolf, and I longed for the forest. I pushed the door open and began to flick on lights as I went through the house. It provided a false warmth that made the big house feel a little less empty.
“Yeah, I’m sure nasty is a pretty good word for what’s going to go down.” I dropped my keys on the island before shrugging out of my jacket and removing the dagger from my waist. “Our relationship is built around conflict. I know that’s what they say happens to twin flames. But it doesn’t make it any easier to accept.”
Willow slid onto a stool at the island. His gentle gaze followed me as I fetched a snack from the fridge. He held up a hand in polite refusal when I offered him some apple pie. I devoured some leftover takeout, hoping it was still good. I was too tired to cook.
“Then don’t accept it,” he said. “You don’t have to be a victim of circumstance, Alexa. Conflict may haunt twin flames, but that is only one side of your union. The other side is love. Don’t forget that.”
Something Lilah said rose up in my memory to haunt me with the truth. “Lilah once said the twin flame bond is a curse, not a gift. I wanted so badly to believe she was wrong. But some of the things she said, they’re true.”
“Don’t say that,” Willow warned. “Lilah is a demon. Nothing she speaks is the truth. She’s a vile creature that sees and spreads only evil.”
“No really, Willow. She talked about how the twins hate each other as much as they love each other. How there is no escape from one another. We are chosen, and we’re meant to suffer.” Suddenly I wasn’t so hungry anymore. I shoved my plate away and poured a glass of water. “It’s starting to feel like the truth. Like it is a curse. I mean, Arys and me, we can’t even walk away from this. Too much time apart will drive us insane, just like it did Lilah.”
“And Salem,” Willow added. “You only know half of that story. It drove him mad too. The last time he caged Lilah, he rarely left her side. He couldn’t bear to.”
“But he still imprisoned her against her will. That’s not love. Why would an angel and a demon even be twinned?” I scowled, disgusted with the harsh reality of the dark side of a twin flame bond. It wasn’t all power trips and deeply personal lovemaking.
“For the same reason you and Arys are. A rare partnership with a shared purpose that can be achieved by no other. In anything so trying and difficult, there is always room for growth and revelation. Don’t focus so intently on the hard parts that you miss the beauty of what you share.”
I tried to take Willow’s wise words to heart. Letting Lilah get inside my head was exactly what she’d want. I couldn’t give her that victory. That was easier said than done, especially when I felt Arys’s arrival. I groaned and shoved a hand through my hair. “He’s here.”
“I’ll take off so you two can talk. Remember, you have everything you need to fulfill your purpose, but there will always be forces trying to stop you. That’s where the conflict comes in. Pick your battles carefully.” Willow slid off the stool and pulled me into a warm hug. Then with a ripple of the atmosphere around us, he was gone.
I turned toward the front door, waiting for the knob to turn. Willow had great advice. However, he could only see the situation from the outside. Being on the inside, having my twin turn on me, there was no letting that go. Emotion spilled through me. I was mad, hurt, and humiliated. The door opened, and it all came pouring out.
“You have a lot of fucking nerve to show up here after that crap you pulled at Shya’s.” I faced Arys with my hands on my hips and my body thrumming with electricity.
He stopped just inside the door with Jenner a few steps behind. The door swung shut with an ominous creak. Arys held both hands up, ready for my temper. The fact that he’d walked in expecting a tirade didn’t make me feel any better.
“Alexa, let me explain.” He approached as if expecting me to start hurling dishes down the hallway. “Can we just talk, please?”
“You want to try to explain what I saw you do tonight? Sure. Go ahead and tell me why you threw me across Shya’s kitchen.” I stared into Arys, letting him see the raw emotion in my eyes.
He kept coming down the long front hall toward me where I stood in the entry to the kitchen. Jenner crept over to the stairs and stealthily escaped to the top floor, leaving us the illusion of privacy.
“I’m sorry about that,” Arys said, his gaze heavy upon me. “I had to turn Gabriel. Shya and I had a deal. If I didn’t make good on that, he would never have removed that mark.”
“You know, so far, you’re off to a pretty shitty start. Try again.”
He stopped about ten feet away. Close enough to face me like a man but too far away to slap. “I made that deal intending to keep it. I know that’s not what you want to hear, but you know me. That can’t possibly surprise you. As long as we bear Shya’s mark, he owns us. I will not be owned by a demon.”
“So you took the life of a young man barely into adulthood. You ignored Hurst’s warning and we are going to pay for that.” Accusation dripped from my tone. The image of Gabriel’s body was burned into my memory. It shouldn’t have happened. Not on my watch. I felt like I had failed him somehow.
“I upheld my end of the deal. Look how much control Shya has over you because of that mark. I had to get rid of mine. He can’t have us both.” Shoulders stiff, a frown creased his brow as Arys stared at me, pleading with those midnight eyes.
Guilt rose up to join the onslaught of feelings. Keeping Shya’s mark was not by choice. The only way to get rid of it was to give him a dreamwalker. The FPA had one in lockup; I saw her. But I could never do that to her. She was safer where she was now.
“You know I’d get rid of this mark if I could.” I sniffed as my temper flared. “The only way to do that is to hand an innocent person over to Shya. And I will not do that. Maybe it was easy for you, but I’m not quite that far gone yet.”
I turned my back on Arys and went to clean up the dishes. He wasn’t convincing me that killing Gabriel was necessary. He was just showing me how different we were.
I shoved things into the dishwasher with more force than required. The plates crashed against each other, somehow not breaking. I slammed the door shut and whirled around to find Arys right behind me.
“I understand why you haven’t paid your debt to Shya,” he said. “Can you try to understand why I had to pay mine?” He reached to take my hand. The heat of his skin reminded me of where that stolen warmth had come from, and I pulled away.
“Arys, you killed someone. In front of me while I begged you not to. Then you threw me across the room. No, I’m sorry, but I do not understand that, and I don’t even want to.” I was backed into a corner, up against the dishwasher. I needed some distance. “You should go home. I need some time alone.”
“I’m not leaving you alone. We’ve already been over this.”
“Give me a break.”
“I’m not going.”
We glared at one another until the power flowed between us with a scorching hot intensity. There were so many ways I wanted to react. Still, I thought of what Willow said, and I opted to take the high road by simply walking away.
“Fine. Stay then. You can bunk with Jenner or take the couch. I’m going to bed. Alone.” I shoved by him, expecting resistance. He didn’t stop me, but he didn’t let me go either.
“We are not done talking
about this, Alexa.” Arys was hot on my heels as I climbed the stairs.
I rushed into the bedroom and swung the door shut. “You might not be, but I am.”
The door bounced off Arys’s foot as he kicked it open. My jaw dropped. He came closer, and I threw my hands up to ward him off. A burst of power went out from me, throwing him out of the room where he crashed against the stair railing. The wood creaked but didn’t give.
Arys got up uttering obscenities. I was ready when he appeared in the doorway again. My fingers crackled with power.
“Go ahead. Do it,” he taunted, holding his hands up in invitation. “I know you’re pissed off, so get it all out of your system. Let me have it.”
“Is that what you think?” I sputtered. “That I’m pissed off? I am so much more than that. You sold me out in front of Shya. You allowed us to be divided, and you humiliated me. I’m not just pissed; I’m hurt.”
The truth hung between us. The atmosphere was thick with pent up energy seeking an outlet. I vibrated with the strength it took to keep from releasing the force I held.
Arys’s face fell. “I had to. Don’t think for a moment that it was easy to do that to you. I didn’t want you to see any of that. When you showed up, I knew I had to make Shya believe we could be divided. The best way to do that was to make you think so.”
I couldn’t believe this. The way he had looked at me at Shya’s, so stone cold, it hadn’t felt like an act. “Well, call the fucking academy. That was an award winning performance. But you did divide us. I needed you to back me, and you didn’t. So it wasn’t just an act, Arys. It was a betrayal.”
“No, it wasn’t. I did it for us. Shya needs to underestimate us. If he thinks we’re falling apart, he’ll let his guard down.” Arys approached quickly, backing me up against the dresser. With a hand beneath my chin, he tipped my gaze up to his. “It had to be real. So it was. You’ve got to understand.”
I shook my head and pressed my lips together. It was the only way to keep myself from telling him to go to hell. I pushed him away, but he held tight to my arms, refusing to be budged.
“We went to Vegas with a united front,” I ground out between gritted teeth. “We agreed to present that same united front to our city, to the vampires and the wolves. Then as soon as we need to show that to Shya, you abandon me. That’s what I understand.”
“It wasn’t like that. You’re not even trying to see this from my side.” Arys’s fingers tightened, digging into my skin, and his eyes flashed wolf for just a moment.
“Let go of me.”
“Not until you calm down and discuss this reasonably.”
“Don’t tell me to calm down.” My shout echoed in the room, hurting my ears. “Nothing you say is going to take back what happened tonight. You think that you played him, but you walked right into his trap. You turned on me while he watched. That was real.” My wolf rose up to stare out at him, issuing a silent challenge. I wished he would leave so I could fall apart by myself.
Rage tinted the power flowing between us with a dark vibe. It hovered there, so close, almost palpable, our inevitable self-destruction. For the briefest of moments, I wanted it, if only for this agony to end.
“Alexa, don’t.” There was such bitterness in those two words. Arys trembled under the weight of the force thundering through us. “Don’t push me away. I won’t let you do that again.”
“You won’t let me?” The dark side of our bond was in control now. It whispered in my ear, a violent demand that I made sure he knew that no man controlled me. I was the dark queen here, and I would make him remember that. “You think that Shya controls me? What about you? I am done with your ego making decisions for me.”
With a push of power, I reached out to drape him in my thrall. Oozing an intoxicating cocktail of seduction and malevolence, I attacked Arys by using his own greatest strength against him. Because our shared power was a double-edged sword, I could use it on him with ease. His eyes widened as he realized my intent.
“What’s wrong, Arys?” I asked with the same stone cold stare he’d given me at Shya’s. “You don’t like it when I push back?”
He didn’t fall as easily under my spell as Kale and Jenner, but he did fall. I saw it in his eyes. His pupils dilated, and his grip on me softened. A wicked smile stole over him. “Like it? Hell, I fucking love it,” Arys murmured, leaning in to kiss me.
The sound of my hand slapping his face was loud in the sudden quiet. My palm stung, and I stared in shock, having surprised myself. Before I could overthink it, I shoved back with both my hands and my power.
Arys was ready for it, and he countered with a push of energy that hurt even as it taunted my desire. We were too evenly matched. Being a vampire gave him an advantage though. He could channel more than I could because of my mortal limits. That would change soon enough.
Frustration spurred me forward. I let loose with a flurry of hits that he did a great job of blocking. Except for the last one that landed with the smack of flesh hitting flesh.
His head snapped sideways, and I leaped back out of reach. A low chuckle came from him. Arys turned to face me, grinning as he wiped a drop of blood from his lip.
“You know how this ends just as well as I do,” he said with a nod toward the bed. A sinful glint in his eyes revealed the monster within him. The darkness driving him was strong, called forth by our mutual wrath.
It was impossible to maintain a level of rationale with that force thrumming through me. Arys’s cocky comment didn’t help.
“Not this time,” I snapped. “Not after what you did. It will be a cold day in hell before I pretend that didn’t happen.” I shook with rage. I was all fangs and claws, wanting so badly to take a swipe at him.
His twisted amusement faded, replaced by a deadly glare. “Get over it, Alexa. I did what I had to do. And I’m not sorry.”
That did it. I snapped. I launched myself at Arys with an angry growl. Anticipating my temper, he braced for the attack. He caught me with a growl of his own and wrestled me to the floor. The echo of my beast shone in his eyes. Despite my struggles, he managed to pin my arms to my sides and bare my throat.
“What do you say, sweet wolf? Why don’t I just take you now? We can end it here, and Shya never gets the chance to sacrifice you.” Arys’s voice was husky with the snarl of a wolf that could never manifest.
It usually frightened me to see the remnant of my beast lurking within him. Not this time though.
“Do it,” I demanded. “Why put off the inevitable? You might as well destroy us now and save me the heartache of having an audience.”
Something in my strangled cry gave him pause. “Is that what you want?”
A swell of emotion bubbled up to mock me, and I stifled a sudden sob. “I want the waiting to be over.”
Arys gazed into my eyes, finding the anguish eating away at me. The storm in him settled, and he said in a ragged whisper, “So do I.”
Again we were one. Just like that. Torn apart and thrust back together in a heartbeat. The curse of twin flames: endless conflict amid undying love. We lived with the hunger to consume the other even as we longed to be consumed. It was a hell of a thing.
I understood fully why Lilah and Salem had both suffered a loss of sanity. It was happening to us too. Knowing that, however, didn’t make it easier to accept. The supernatural force commanding us seemed at times a conscious entity of its own. It hovered over us, swept through us, and lifted us up to a dangerous place full of false promises.
I didn’t care. I was ready for it to be over.
“Do it,” I begged.
Arys appeared torn, though the longing was evident in his eyes. He stared at my jugular, deciding how fast or slow to make my death. He would want to make it last, I knew that. I’d been inside his head. That’s how he worked. Why rush the good stuff?
“Do it!” I repeated, using a slap of power to enforce my command.
He blinked a few times, and then the monster was back, staring do
wn at me with a vicious hunger. I braced for the bite I knew was coming. He bared those razor sharp fangs and went for my neck.
A boom like a clap of thunder rattled the window of my bedroom. Jenner appeared in the doorway, hands raised, and power crackling about his fingertips. His shot hit Arys dead on, sending him pitching backwards to crash against the wall. A framed photo of a forest backdrop fell and shattered beside him.
Jenner dragged me to my feet and shook me until my teeth rattled. “You wanted to know why I was here,” he snapped, slapping my face to break me out of the strange spell I’d fallen under. “This is why. To stop you two idiots from destroying yourselves.”
I sucked in a few breaths, finding it hard to process what had just happened. I opened my mouth but nothing came out.
Arys lunged to his feet, and Jenner threw up an energy wall to keep him on that side of the room. It wouldn’t hold Arys long, but it was strong enough to keep him busy for a few precious moments.
Jenner scanned my neck for a sign of injury, and I pulled away. I didn’t need him falling under the same spell that had claimed Arys and me.
“You should have let him do it,” I muttered.
“Do you think I came all this way to watch you guys fuck this up?” Jenner looked at us each in turn. His cold blue gaze stopped on Arys. “I’m doing what you asked me to do. If you want to keep her safe from you then you need to leave. Go home. I’ll stay with her.”
A protest formed on my lips, but it died quickly when I saw the shame on Arys’s handsome face. What the hell had just happened here?
Several long moments passed before Arys finally said, “Thank you, Jenner. It’s good to know I can still count on you. After everything.”
“Save the sappy shit, ok? The past is the past. Now get the hell out of here before the sun rises.” Jenner dropped his energy wall and pushed me behind him, watching Arys like a hawk as he strode from the room.
My heart squeezed painfully as I watched him go without a glance back. Only after I heard the front door slam downstairs was I able to breathe again. I slid down the wall at my back as great, heaving sobs erupted from me. Blood tears streamed down my face, betraying me in front of Jenner. There was no stopping it. The crimson river of tears fell to stain my hands, my clothes, and even the carpet.
