by T. Rudacille
***
Maura was in tremendous pain. Violet and Elijah sat by her side, dabbing the blood from her wounds, the sweat from her forehead, and the tears that fell freely from her eyes with cold water wrung into a rag. I stood outside of the door, leaning against the frame and smoking, pondering all that had occurred to the tune of Maura's sobs. Slowly, I began to sympathize with her. Just as that thought raised its voice to an audible volume, I heard her:
“Brynna!” She called.
I furrowed my brows and looked into the room. For hours, she had cried for Elijah and Violet. Because he was old enough to handle the emotional strain of seeing our second mother in such a state, I had not stopped Elijah from taking his place at her bedside. Besides, she needed his medical expertise; her wounds were severe, and the pain grew worse every hour. Violet, on the other hand, fought me endlessly when I stopped her from entering the room. Finally, I relented, tired of fighting with her, tired of fighting at all.
“There was no reason for your violence towards her. You were simply attempting to eradicate your feelings of inadequacy. I hope you know that. I hope you realize that you and your friends beat and tormented a woman in order to feel like men.” I told Don scathingly in an effort to ignore Maura's pleas for me. After a few moments, she went silent.
“Brynna...”
In Violet's soft cry, I heard a plea for my merciful repentance. I heard her wish for me to enter the room and comfort Maura. I heard her beg for a small touch of normalcy inside my intricate being, for a part that cared for others without being held firmly in opposition by the ghosts of the past.
I ignored her, too.
“This is counterproductive.” Don muttered back to me as he rubbed his eyes.
“What is? You torturing Maura or our current conversation?”
“Both. Maybe I did do it for the reasons you're saying. Maybe you're right about that. I'm a big enough man to admit that, and doesn't that count for something?” He looked up at me.
“I suppose. However, it does not reverse the life-threatening wounds you and your thugs inflicted on her. It does not undo the toll her fear has taken on her body. If you could successfully reverse those, then I would consider us square.”
The smoke I exhaled cast a haze between us that hid his expression.
“Can I be frank with you?”
“I suppose. I do love honesty, however brutal.”
“This isn't brutal. It's an observation and a proposition.”
“How interesting.” I replied apathetically.
“You love her. I don't know what happened between the two of you, but you need to realize that it's obvious. There is bad blood there, definitely. But you wouldn't have brought her to Pangaea if you didn't feel some level of affection for her. While I don't feel guilty for what I did because of who she is, who she's married to, I do know that there more than likely was a different way to go about it.”
“Of course there was. There were many paths you could have taken. Unfortunately, you chose the darkest one. I think you should ponder exactly what that says about you. Though, spoiler alert, what it says is not good.”
“Would you just be quiet and listen for a second? You told me that you and I don't see eye to eye, and that is very true. I believe that force is necessary and sacrifices must be made. You don't.”
“No, I don't disagree that force and sacrifices are necessary. You and I differ on when force should be utilized and which sacrifices are worth making. On the subject of sacrifice, we disagree as to which are morally acceptable.”
“Brynna Olivier, I thought you shunned morality.” There was a lightness to his voice that I had not heard in many months.
I looked over at him, smiling slightly.
“I never said that, either. What is it that you are asking me, Don? I am unable to decipher it at the present time as I am now entering my third day without sleep. My exhaustion hinders my ability to comprehend even something as simple as your true intentions.”
“You must be. Generally, you know what I am trying to say even when I don't.”
“Are you complimenting me? Is that meant to advance the likelihood of me accepting whatever proposition it is that you refuse to say out loud?” I scratched the end of my cigarette against the concrete wall and watched the rain of sparks fall to the ground.
“Yes. But that shouldn't suggest that I'm not being honest. And my proposition is that I need someone to bounce ideas off of. I need someone to help me figure out what I'm supposed to do. I know you have never really trusted me, though I have tried to gain your trust. Brynna, I need for us to put our differences aside. I didn't want to become their leader, if you can even call me that. I don't even like to use that word. I need you to trust me when I say that when this all began, all I wanted was to keep people safe, and once we were safe, to keep us alive.”
“I trust that wholeheartedly, Don. Power corrupted you as it has corrupted many men and women far greater than both you and me. It sounds now, though, that you are resurfacing. You are coming back to your senses. Otherwise, you would not be asking for help.”
“I am asking for help. Brynna, I'm asking you to be my second-in-command.”
I nodded again and looked up at him; I had seen who Don truly was a handful of times before. I had seen a man who possessed the will and ability to protect others. Our time at the house, though there had been hiccups both minimal and severe, had been the most peaceful and productive time we spent on Pangaea. With my help, we could avoid those problems that had been faced and as a result, actually stand a chance of winning the war against the Bachums. I could mold him to see as I saw: The other side could not all be killed, for they were not all bad people. They were scared survivors scrambling to make their way on Pangaea, knowing that they could not do it alone. In short, they were just like us, except they had turned to the Bachums, who offered them safety in exchange for their blind commitment to their ridiculously unrealistic vision of God. In time, they would find their way to us, and if I could convince Don that they were on our side, we could protect them, too.
“Don Abba, you have yourself a deal.” After lighting up yet another cigarette, I reached my hand out to him.
“Really?” He asked, and when his comically large eyes widened, I chuckled softly. Very enthusiastically, he shook my hand.
“Yes.”
“I was so prepared for you to refuse that I don't know what to say now.”
“Just say that we're going to make this work. We're going to figure this out. In the end, everything will turn out in our favor.”
“We're going to figure this out. We're going to make it work.” He told me instantly.
“Yes. Do you know how we can start? You can let that woman and her two children out of lockup.”
He grimaced.
“Are you sure?”
“I am positive.”
For a moment, he looked thoughtful. Then he nodded, and in his heart, I could sense an acknowledgment that I was right. When he reached the stairs that led down to the cells, he turned back to me.
“I am very sorry for what I did to Maura. Though she did admit that she knows what they're planning, I could have gone about getting my answers in a different way. It's amazing, how quickly guilt starts to kick in. Pray that you never feel this.” He was silent for a minute, his eyes fixated on a crack in the concrete floor beneath our feet. When he spoke again, his voice was quiet, resigned to a fact that saddened and disgusted him. “I know that I'm sick, Brynna. You might not see it as sickness, but it's uncontrollable, just like a fatal disease. That's why I need you. I need you to help me avoid the worst in myself.”
“I know you do.” I told him somewhat gently. “I'll help you any way I can, Don. If Maura dies today, there will be anger towards you, great anger that I will control just barely. But I do believe in time and with our joint mission in mind, I will overcome it.”
“Fair enough.” He replied. “But will you forgive me for it?”
I
looked into the room when Maura called my name again. I looked back at him and shook my head before saying softly and resolutely, “No.”
“Brynna, please just come in here!” Violet screamed to me through her tears. Begrudgingly, I walked into the room. Maura, even when her eyes were open, was not conscious. When she spoke, she spoke to my father, Violet, her mother, Elijah, Penny, and Lucien. Never once did she speak to me. Now, she was calling out for me. I could not afford the anger that I felt towards her for that. I didn't understand why it was there, but I knew that her condition was worsening. If the worst was going to happen, I had to let that anger go.
I had to let it go.
“I need you both to leave for a few minutes.” I told Elijah and Violet, who looked at me curiously.
“Why?” Violet asked. “Brynn, what if she...”
“If she does, I would prefer you not see it.”
“But I need to be with her, Brynna!” Violet wailed before throwing her arms around my neck and crying into them. I rubbed her back comfortingly.
“Violet, I need you to trust me on that. You do not need to see her die. Now, just in case it happens while I'm here, say your goodbyes now.”
“Brynn, Jesus Christ!” Elijah was stunned by my blunt order. He was too young to understand.
“Elijah, I am not going to shield either of you from the grave severity of the situation. You do not deserve to be lied to. I would not forgive myself if you two never got a chance to tell her goodbye.”
Elijah glared at me for a moment and then knelt down beside the bed, his mouth close to Maura's ear.
“I know you're in pain. I'm so sorry for that, Maura. They said that there's nothing we can do. I should have stopped them. I did try. I told them there was nothing that you could tell them. But they didn't listen, and I should have broken down the door. I should have run in there and killed them all for what they were doing.”
Regret. It cascaded from the tip of his consciousness like acidic rain. Every other thought melted away as the drops burst open against them. I hated that he now had the means to torment himself forever.
“I know what happened...” He told her as tears began to leak from his eyes. “I know what you did with Brynna. I don't understand it. But it doesn't matter now. She doesn't want me to be angry at you.”
Maura gave a soft moan of agony. I wondered if it was in response to what he had said.
“So I'm not angry. If this is it, Maura, I just need you to take that with you, okay? I need you to know that.”
My own throat clenched. I held Violet tighter, focusing my energy on keeping my tears at bay. I would not cry.
“I need you to know that I love you. That is just about the most clichéd thing to say, and I know that if you can hear me, you're rolling your eyes and telling me to come up with something more original,” We all laughed softly at that. “But that's the best I've got.”
“It's plenty, Eli.” I assured him, “It may be clichéd, but it's plenty.”
He nodded, squeezed my shoulder, swiped at his eyes, and left the room.
“Alright, honey, your turn.” I told Violet softly. She took Elijah's place beside the bed.
“Maura...” She managed to croak out. Then she sprang up, threw her arms over Maura, and cried hysterically into her chest. “I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry!”
“Shh...” I whispered as I eased her up off of Maura. “You have nothing to apologize for.”
“I promised her I'd keep her safe! I said I'd take care of her, Brynn! I failed her. Don't you see? I failed her!” She cried to me uncontrollably. I struggled not to grasp my chest or contort my face into an expression of pain as my heart broke for her.
“You didn't!” I told her firmly. Some of my earlier ice resurfaced, but its new life was not bred from a desire to push her away. It was meant to convince her of a truth that would heal her grief, however minimally. “There was nothing you could have done, Violet Mae. Don is cruel and relentless in his pursuit of answers. Maura told him outwardly that she knew what they are planning, and though this is certainly not her fault, if she had lied…” I stopped, re-routed. “Never mind. Regardless of what could have been, she would not want you to feel any sense of responsibility or any guilt over what has happened to her. That is the last thing she would want.”
Violet looked up at Maura's bruised and bloodied face. She kissed her forehead gently.
“I love you, Maura. Please don't die. Please, I need you.”
“Alright. Go with Elijah.” I took her hand and steered her towards the door. When I opened it, Alice and Quinn had come downstairs. A look passed between Alice and me. Immediately, she knew that I was going to ask her to watch over my sister. She nodded and squeezed my hand. I was stunned briefly that she understood so clearly. A surge of love for her went through me. I realized that she and Quinn were my friends. I pondered the implications of that even as I closed the door to the room.
When I turned back to Maura, my mind went blank. Her eyes had opened. Not only was she awake, but she was present.
“Brynna?” She asked weakly with tears rolling down her cheeks. Painfully, she turned her head to look at me. I walked forward slowly, not knowing what to say. I would not unleash the rage I felt towards her for what happened. In her final moments, she did not deserve to feel guilt or sadness. I sincerely doubted that anyone deserved to feel such things during the final remainder of their time in our known realm.
“Will you sit with me?” She asked timidly before reaching her hand out to me with great effort.
I nodded and sat down beside her. After a moment, she lowered her hand, realizing that I was not going to take it. She knew the pain of the previous years would not allow such a show of support and love. What was worse is that she accepted and understood that.
“I owe you more apologies than I can count. And this is my last chance…” She whispered. I had to lean forward to hear her. In her voice, I heard her strength fading slowly.
“That's not important. Did you hear Elijah and Violet?” I asked her, and she shook her head. “Well, they begged you not to die. So stop talking like you are.”
“I was waiting for you.” She told me with a tiny smile on her swollen lips. “I wanted you to be with me when I woke up. I need to tell you how sorry I am for everything.”
“It's over. It's in the past.” I said in an unconvincing, robotic tone. What else could be said?
“No.” She shook her head, “Stop it. I do not deserve for you to forgive me so easily.”
“Maura, I don't want to talk about this!” I shot at her when I felt tears well in my eyes suddenly.
“I was a coward. I was afraid of what Michael was going to do to me. I deserve a lifetime in hell for allowing him to do what he did to you. It's all my fault. Everything you feel now is my fault. I’ve never taken responsibility for it, not once. I have never told you that none of it is your fault. Not Michael, not Luc, not your parents… It’s my fault, Brynna.” She was crying again and straining to continue. “I know that. I deserve everything that has happened to me. I do, Brynna.”
“Stop it!” I whispered firmly as the tears brimmed and prepared to fall.
“I love you, and I am so sorry. I don't expect you to forgive me. You don't owe me that. What I want more than for my guilt to go away is for you to be alright, Brynna. I just want you to live a happy life. I want you to fall in love. I want you to have children of your own someday, because you will be the best mother. Just look at how you are with Penny, darling...”
“I will not be engaging in such foolish triviality again. I fell in love once, and it ended terribly. I loved a man who was nothing more than a liar.”
“He was nothing.”
“He was everything, Maura!” I exclaimed in indignation before jumping up and starting to pace. “He is the only man I have ever trusted. He is the only man I have ever loved! And the only reason we met is because Adam sent him after me!”
“I know how badly it hurts you.”
>
“It doesn't hurt me!” I snapped at her. “It pisses me off! God, you were right all along, weren’t you? That is the absolute worst part of it! You always said to never let them in, because this is what they will do. This is how it always ends, right? I let this man into my life, I fell in love with him in what was practically an instant, and I allowed myself to love him so much, and now he is gone, the same way that Rachel is gone, except James is still alive, but it doesn’t matter, because I will never let him back into my life or Penny’s life! And all of this could have been avoided if I had just… just…”
It went back beyond our first kiss. It went back to our first meeting. I could not discern the exact moment when I realized it was a possibility that I could have romantic feelings for him. Was it when he had grasped my hand in the car? Was it when he had patched up my head and my arm in his apartment, allowing me to hold a knife because I was still so distrustful of him? Was it when he had begun to gain my trust in the diner, when we had experienced together the horror he had originally felt alone at the fast-approaching end of the world? Was it when he had lit my cigarette? All of those instances seemed to have occurred thousands of years earlier. But when was it, exactly, that I should have ordered myself never to feel for him?
“Stop.” She whispered. “Sit down.”
I stopped walking when I felt my heart racing and my head spinning. I sat down beside her again, knowing I would collapse if I continued to stand.
“I know it doesn't seem like it, but you will love again, Brynna. I know that I warned you against them. I know that my own love life is not an example. But you will love someone again, and they will be good, and strong, and they will love you, too. They will never inflict this pain on you. All of those ideals you told me about from your books, all of those things that you said you don’t believe in… They’re real, Brynna. They’re real, and you deserve them. You will have every last one of them, my darling.”
I shook my head slightly, though I wanted so desperately to believe her. When I looked at her, my tears had multiplied. She saw them and reached out to wipe them away.
“Do you promise?” I whispered in the voice of a child.
She nodded and smiled weakly.
“I promise.”
She gave a weak moan of pain again. I reached out and grabbed hold of her hands. I brought them to my chest and held them tightly. A feeling took my breath away when it emerged suddenly. I realized that I needed her. I realized that everything, every terrible moment in our joint past, didn't matter anymore. It was of the old world, and the old world was gone. I had promised that Pangaea would be a new start for everyone and yet I held old world grudges. I allowed myself to succumb to old-world pain.
I had to let it go.
“Maura, I just realized something.”
“Yeah?” She managed to mutter as she opened her eyes.
“I need you. I cannot do this without you.”
“Shh...” She wiped my eyes again. “You can do anything, Brynna Claire. Anything, do you understand me?”
“But I need you to stay with me!” My voice cracked, and a stray tear streamed down my cheek.
“I said,” She cringed in pain for a moment, stifling a soft moan. “I said, 'Do you understand?'”
I nodded and moved closer to her.
“Stay with me. Stay with me, Maura.” I whispered after pressing my forehead to hers. Her hands grasped my face. As the tears finally fell, I whispered words I had not said to her in many, many years:
“I love you.”
“I know you do. I need you to know that I know that, and have always known it, alright? And I love you, too. I need you to know that, too. I have hurt you terribly… and yet I love you the most.”
A sob escaped me, and I felt her tears running down her face onto my hands.
“I love you so much, my beautiful Brynna.”
So clichéd, and yet the only words that could ever matter. Her lips kissed my cheek twice. I laid my head against her chest, crying harder when I felt her arms wrapping around me.
“It's alright, honey.” She whispered to me as I sobbed and held onto her for all the life left in us both, “Shh... Everything is going to be alright, my sweet girl. I promise you. I promise, darling.”
At the end of her life, she had resumed the task she had taken at the beginning of mine; she calmed my cries with ease and gentleness while I was bundled up snugly in her arms. We were, most definitely, consumed by one of life's full circles.
“I wanted it to be you… here with me.”
I nodded and held onto her even more tightly.
“I'm here.” I whispered back through my tears.
I still don't know how long we laid there before I heard her breathing and heartbeat slow and stop. But I will tell you that there is one thing I know for sure, and you might not believe it: When I sat up, the weight of the pain had lifted. I nearly toppled over from the new lightness of my being. I looked down at her, at how she looked to be merely asleep, and though my tears still fell, I knew that in her last moments, she had taken the pain from me. She would carry it for me far away, to wherever she was going, where it could never harm me again. That was her final gift to me. That was her final act of repentance and apology.
“Come on.” Elijah was saying softly to me. I hadn't realized that he had come to check on me. Now, I was the one being steered from the room. I was the one being escorted, mercifully, from the terrible sadness of Maura's death. I had never imagined that I would feel a thing. I had never guessed I would grieve her passing. But then, even when I hated her, I had always loved her. Love and hate are so very close, after all.
My immediate action upon reentering the hall was to embrace Violet. Upon seeing my tear-streaked face, she knew the worst had happened. Her sobs were painful, twisting and wringing my insides dry. But they were cleansing, at least on her end. They were the audible expulsion of her own grief. For her, crying relieved the pain.
When the building shook, I assumed my internal explosive energy had manifested in an imaginary outer display. But upon seeing the alarmed looks on the teary faces of Alice, Quinn, and Elijah, I realized that something really was happening. The darkness had come. It was beating down our door, ready to destroy us as we stood in its path.
“Take them and find James! Run!” The words tumbled from my mouth towards Elijah as the imminent danger of the situation registered clearly in my mind. I did not know exactly what was occurring above our heads, nor did I want to send my friends and family to James for assistance, but I knew swift action was necessary. In fact, it was the only crucial link between us and our lives continuing past the present.
Adam ran into the corridor just as I ducked back into the room with Maura. I couldn't leave her. I could hear him shouting to my friends and siblings, ordering them to get out of the building. But I could not leave Maura's body, not when she, like everyone else both good and evil, deserved to be buried properly. After all she had suffered, I had to put her to rest.
“We have to go!” Adam was shouting at me now. “They're here!”
“Who?” My tone betrayed my apathy. I cared nothing for the war anymore. The day, the place, everything about the whole ordeal had taken a toll on me. I could not afford a scrap of emotion, as I was already being contorted and tormented by the pain of Maura's death and the stinging betrayal left by the truth I had learned about James.
“They stole the sun harness!”
“Adam, what the hell is a sun harness?” I asked, my voice never rising above a mere murmur.
“It doesn't matter what it is! We need to go now!”
“I will not leave her.”
“What are you talking about, Brynna?” He demanded dangerously as he walked closer to me. “She is gone. There is nothing more you can do for her.”
“I can bury her. I don't know if that is a custom...”
“Be quiet. Get up. Let's go.” He ordered and a hazardous nuclear explosion of fury blasted mightily inside of me
. I stood up, whipped around, stormed towards him, and shoved him hard in his firm chest.
“If it wasn't for you, she would still be here!” I shouted before pushing him again. Surprisingly, I was able to make him stumble back a step. “You and your pitifully stupid war! And you sent James! I fell in love with him, and it was all a lie! Why did you do this?!” I opened my hand, brought it up to his face, and slapped him hard. I was a fan of slapping. I was finding that it was the only remedy for certain infuriating things. It truly did help.
“Brynna, I will explain everything to you!” He grabbed both of my wrists in a painful hold. I grimaced but fought wildly to free them from his grasp only to find that he was as strong as he looked; he never lost or even weakened his grip.
The ceiling shed dust on the next impact. I could smell smoke. A fire had taken hold of the building and soon, we would be consumed by it. Adam was right; we had to leave. But one glance at Maura's peacefully absent body strengthened my resolve to stay.
“I'll carry her out. In a few minutes, I'll have gathered the strength to carry her.”
“We don't have a few minutes!” His voice thundered deafeningly. I had angered him, and I knew it. Under normal circumstances, my bullheaded nature entertained him, but as the fire ate through the walls around us, closing in for the kill, he found my tendency to dig my heels in frustrating and also, potentially deadly. I would have been substantially irritated by such stubbornness, as well.
“Go!” I shouted back at him just as loudly. The fire would not be what brought the building down; our shouting match certainly would.
“You're going to carry her?” He grabbed the tops of my arms after I turned away from him to kneel at Maura's bedside.
“Yes.” I shot at him defiantly.
“No.” He snarled before yanking me upwards so I was standing on my feet. “I am going to carry you.”
I was over his shoulder, and he was ramming himself into the blocked door before I had even processed his words completely.
“NO!” I screamed as I struggled to throw myself off of him. In one fluid motion, he adjusted me on his shoulder, strengthened his hold on me, and rammed into the door again. The force with which he hit it sent it flying off its hinges, pinning the piece of debris that had been blocking it against the opposite wall. I watched the room behind us fill with thick smoke; Maura disappeared from my view.
“No, no, no!” I grabbed both sides of the door frame and held on tight. In time, he would get frustrated and drop me onto the floor. Then, he would run for the stairway, dodging flaming pieces falling from the roof before hurtling up the steps and saving himself. By that time, I would not be able to save myself or Maura's body. I would simply curl up beside her and await the final moment. No one would be perched mournfully beside me, apologizing for how they had wronged me, telling me they loved me, or even lying to me, saying that everything would be alright. I would prefer it that way. No symphony of emotionally heavy words and empty reassurances would be necessary. The only soundtrack I would need to my last coherent thoughts would be the crackling of the fire and the bone-shaking explosions overhead. I had heard that in home fires, smoke was the killer, not the flames. Surely, though, my death would still be painful; I would struggle to draw clean air into my lungs but instead, would only breathe toxic, heavy, black smoke. I would suffocate, to put it simply. But at least I would not burn.
“I will hurt you if you do not let go!” Adam shouted once again. I did not doubt his sincerity.
“I'm not leaving her!” I shrieked. I had graduated from struggling to fall out of his grasp to kicking my feet into his stomach so he would drop me. “I can't leave her! Don't you see?! She might have left me before, but if I was gone, she wouldn't leave! I know that! I know it, and I can't leave her, Adam!” The tears running down my cheeks were not a result of the coarse smoke stinging my eyes. The crack in my voice softened him. Instead of hurting me, he pulled me forward, turned me sideways and cradled me in his arms.
“It is just her body.” He whispered to me. “You know that. Her soul is safe.”
I stared up into his eyes. That quickly, I accepted his words. I knew, beyond any shadow of doubt, that he was right. There was no use risking my life to bury an empty shell. The most essential part of her essence was already safe, sent back to the source from which we all were sprung. I hoped that there was a merciful one God, who welcomed her through the fabled gates of Heaven with open arms. I hoped wherever she was that she was safe. As I hoped and prayed for her eternal happiness, my arms flung up to wrap around Adam's neck. I held onto him tightly, closing my eyes so as not to see Maura's body disappear from view. Though Adam had convinced me that she was safe, I could not bear to see her body consumed in flames. Old-world thinking persisted, even then.
We were moving quickly, though Adam was not running. Never once did he attempt to put me down as he maneuvered through the fallen, burning rubble. In fact, I could sense that he preferred having me nestled safely in his arms. There, I could not be hurt. What strange thoughts for him to be having... Quickly, I determined that he knew if I were to perish in the fire, I could not agree to help him.
“That is foolishness far below you, Brynna Olivier.” He muttered to me as he kicked open the door at the top of the stairs. I looked up at him, my eyes wide. “Not very amusing when the tables turn, is it?”
I turned my head to the side, stunned to find that I was breathing fresh air. We had emerged onto long dirt pathway leading to the gate in front of Adam's mansion. We turned back to look up, only to find that the entire house had gone up in flames. I looked at him, shocked to see that there was not a shred of pain evident in his eyes. Seeing his house burn didn't faze him in the slightest. Still, I grasped his hand. If I were watching my home of so many years crumble to the ground before me, I would certainly want someone to comfort me, though I would not ask for it, and I would prefer their condolence to be silent and simple.
“Come on.” I whispered to him. “We have to go.”
He nodded, and we turned away, only to find ourselves surrounded. Having been lost in our thoughts, we did not sense the angry horde of Bachum supporters approaching. In their minds, I heard shrill cries of gratitude to a mortal man, though I could not decipher exactly whose face it was that they were holding so firmly at the forefront of their minds. They owed him their lives, according to Tyre, for he had stolen the sun harness. He was one of ours, buried deep within our camp, exactly as Elijah had told James. This man was hidden so deeply, even to them, that they could not picture him clearly. But whoever he was, he was still amongst our numbers, and if Adam and I managed to escape the city—a scenario that was growing increasingly less likely—I knew that it was imperative to seek out him and his accomplices.
“What in the name of the one God or Gods is a sun harness?”
“Contextual clues, my dear. Think on it for a moment.” Adam replied as he put his arm in front of me and moved me behind him. I moved right back out to stand beside him. I would face the mob of fanatical crazies with him, for I was not afraid in the slightest.
“You will run when I say so.” Adam muttered to me firmly as Tyre moved to the front of the crowd. There was another deafening bang that rattled the earth, and the building fifty feet from Adam's mansion fell to the ground in flaming scraps. I did not nod in affirmation to Adam's order. He glared at me, ordering me to nod or say out loud that I understood. I raised my eyebrows, cocked my head to the side slightly, and glared back at him. I think if I were a man, he would have punched me.
“Well, I never thought I would see the day when you were found wandering about without your guards.”
Tyre was even more menacing in the dim, smoke-filled twilight. His eyes reflected the darkest hues of the earth. His pale white skin eerily contrasted with the darkness of his eyes and his prominent nose that sat between them proudly. While many men on Pangaea were healthily muscular, Tyre was unbelievably tall—almost seven feet, at least!—and almost dangerously t
hin. The immortality of the other men I knew had never drained the traces of vibrant youth. Tyre had been sucked dry of such fresh beauty. The man seemed born to play the ghoulishly gaunt villain in a horror movie. The cliché was not lost on me, and I almost laughed to myself as it became clear.
“Brynna Olivier...” He turned his gleaming white grin of triumph to me. I scowled at him defiantly. “I have been told by your father that you now know all. Pity you did not join us. Now, who knows?”
“I know. Isn't that why you wanted me dead, Tyre?” I challenged him. “So, where is your lapdog? I have so desperately wanted to meet Rich Bachum.”
“He's powering the harness, of course.” Tyre replied in a voice of dangerous elation. “Come now, Adam, let us make this quick.” Anger pulsed beneath the cool and collected facade. A barbaric glee was beginning to rear its head inside of him. He had finally won. It had been hundreds of years since Adam had tossed him and his people from the city he had not wanted built, and finally, he could dole out Adam's last punishment.
“You will not attempt to fight me, will you? You and those two humans are three of a kind, Tyre.” Adam was grinning ear-to-ear, genuinely amused by whatever it was he sensed in Tyre. “You're cowards more likely to sneak up on your foes in the night than to stand face-to-face with them. You will make deals in the hopes of being spared, deserting all you believe just to breathe the air here for another day.”
“I have never made a deal with you! I would never be so foolish!” Tyre hissed venomously, his fangs forming far more slowly than ours did. “This girl has, hasn't she? Otherwise, her father would have killed her by now. But no, she stands here before me in perfect condition, and thank the God for that! I can now end her myself.”
Adam's calm ambivalence disappeared in a blink. I felt the change in him several seconds before I looked over. Upon looking into his red eyes, I knew that a fight would ensue between them. He would, for whatever reason, fight for me. I could not understand why, and he had no time to explain. I do not think that he would have, even if we had ages to talk.
“If you so much as turn your gaze to her,” When he began to speak, his voice was a furious whisper. But as he continued, it rose to its intimidatingly forceful thunder. “I will destroy every man around you before I KILL YOU WHERE YOU STAND!”
Whoa... My eyes were wide, and my eyebrows were raised in shock. When Tyre did turn his gaze to me, it was a direct provocation that was imprudent, to say the very least. Adam's fangs sprung out, and he lunged forward; the roar that erupted from him made his thunderous shouts seem like mere whispers in the dark. His hand was locked firmly around Tyre's throat when six of the enemy's men pulled him off. Even as they forced Adam onto his knees, I could see the terror in their eyes that he would break free and slaughter them all effortlessly. Beneath that fear, though, I could see their lusting fury; they wanted to see him killed. They wanted to congratulate themselves and each other after it was over. They wanted to revel in the war's ending, knowing they had won.
Tyre rose to his feet, smiling in sadistic glee. From behind him, a man handed over a large, curved sword. Adam never fought to free himself. His pride would not allow it. Even as Tyre brought the sword above his head and froze, the smirk never left Adam's face.
“STOP!” I stunned both myself and the men around me with my scream of protest. Even Adam was surprised, though he hid it well.
“You are next, my dear.” Tyre grinned at me.
“Run.” Adam instructed me calmly.
“NO!” I shouted.
“Do not let her run. You all will pay a price if she gets away!” Tyre shouted at them.
“Run now, Brynna.” Adam's words were still infused with a lightness that was so out of place in the current conundrum. He sounded as though he was telling a mildly humorous joke. I could have stabbed him myself.
When one man walked forward to hold me in place, my own beast burst out of its cage in a grandiose, violent escape. I closed the space between that man and I before jumping up and locking my legs on either side of his torso. I grabbed a hold of his head in both hands, practically salivating as I pictured sinking my teeth down into his throat. My head jerked up to the sky, and I screeched shrilly at the heavens. When the sound drained out of me completely, I twisted my hands, spinning the man's head around on his neck. He crumpled to the ground beneath me; I was still attached to him, and yet I managed to land gracefully on my knees. My head jerked up in time to see that I had created a necessary diversion. The men holding Adam were in a state of horror that slackened their grip on him.
My own fighting abilities were lackluster in comparison to his brutal strength. In one swipe, he swung his arm back, colliding with each man and sending him flying backwards into the gates outside of his house that now stood in rubble. Tyre snapped out of whatever daze he was in and brought the knife down. Adam dodged the blade in time for it to miss his chest but still, it made contact, plunging deep into his stomach. He grimaced in pain only slightly.
“Do not look at me! Fight them!” He bellowed at me.
Whatever daze I was in, I abruptly came out of to join the common realm once again. Instantly, I sprung into action; I ran past a man charging me and snatched the dagger he was carrying right out of his hand.
Alright, genetic mutation. Show me what I can do, I thought just as a man got close enough for me to strike.
I stretched my arm out, spun in a circle and heard the sickening slash of skin as the knife cut through the charging man's throat. I felt the warm spray of blood on my arm as I slammed my hand onto the ground to stop my body from spinning anymore. Without looking, I threw the knife sideways; I heard another man's bones cracking around the serrated blade after it forcefully entered his chest cavity. My head jerked in my second victim's direction before my legs carried me to him. He was falling forward, grasping his chest. In a blur of movement, I ripped the knife from his chest, placed my hands on his shoulders, and propelled myself into a flip through the air before landing on my feet.
Two younger men were facing me. In them, I sensed no darkness. I saw no evil in their hearts as I had seen inside of the others I had just killed. They stared at me in horror, trembling, awaiting my move. The guns in their hands rattled as they shook. They never raised them.
“Go home, gentlemen.” I whispered after taking a much needed deep breath.
They looked at me, looked at each other, and then turned to run. Two gunshots rang out behind me, and I looked down at myself; they were loud enough that I knew they had been made by a sufficiently large shotgun. If I had been shot, the bullets would have blown open a hole in my abdomen, given the close proximity of the shooter.
But I was not the wounded party; the two boys who had run were. They had fallen to the ground, their top halves messes of blood and flesh. I will admit that I felt an unimaginably strong surge of pain through my body at seeing such innocent creatures taken so cruelly before what could ever rightfully be their time. As the despair assuaged, outrage took its place. I knew exactly who stood behind me, wielding that gun. Only he would feel the need to carry such a large weapon, for he would not accept nature's power.
Rich Bachum turned the muzzle of the shotgun so that it was pointed at me. I understood suddenly why Adam showed and perhaps felt no fear. He wished to die an honorable death. I would never fall to my knees, sniveling and pleading like a coward. I would not shed a tear. I would not attempt to forge a deal. I would die the same way I had always lived: in defiance of cowardice.
“At last we meet, Mr. Bachum.”
“Do not say my name, you disgusting freak! You don’t get to say my name!” He shouted, and I frowned in revulsion when a large wad of spit flew from his mouth as he spoke.
“I can sense that I have been living in your mind rent-free, as they say.”
“You were raised well! You're from Earth! You...” He took a step towards me, “Vile...” Another step, and he raised the shotgun so it was aligned with my head, “Whore!”
I expected him to fire after he was finished that particular sentiment. However, his shaking hands just held the gun even more firmly.
“Ooh...” I sang with a grin and chuckle, “Vile! An honorable choice of words, Mr. Bachum.”
“What did I just say?! I do not want to hear my name coming from your disgusting mouth!”
“Pull the trigger, Mr. Bachum.” I ordered softly, tauntingly.
“I am warning you!”
“Are you a big enough man to do it, Mr. Bachum?”
I took a step towards him, my grin widening as I realized that I already knew the pathetic answer to the question I had just posed. He could not pull the trigger. In my heart, I felt nothing but pride and audacity. In his, I felt great fear.
“You stand above others because you know all.” My tone dripped condescension and sarcasm, which I’m sure does not surprise you at this point. “Yet, you stand now before just little me,” I held my arms out to the side, “And you're speechless. You're motionless. You know not what to do. You're terrified because you've never killed a woman. You've beaten them and degraded them terribly, but can you willingly kill one? No, your lapdogs do that for you.”
“You don't know what I'm thinking.”
“Your mind is screaming.” I spun my hands beside my head to mime the churning stream of thoughts that were pouring from his mind. “I can hear everything.”
“You're crazy!” He bellowed furiously, but his voice cracked on the last word. I covered my mouth to suppress the giggle that took hold of me. “You're lying! You can’t hear me!”
“If I don't do this, she'll kill Mary.”
“If I don't do this, she'll kill Mary.” I repeated and my grin widened as his frown deepened.
“How is she doing that?!”
“How is she doing that?!” I shouted up at the sky. I was acting quite manically, I admit... The adrenaline has that effect.
“Oh my God, the devil is real. He has her! Oh, dear God...”
“Oh, dear God! Oh, dear God! Oh, dear God!” I shouted, all evidence of whimsy extinguishing each time I said those words until I was snarling them at him viciously. Now, only that painful, familiar rage stood firmly in my chest to spur me to further action. “Just because I don't believe in your warped perception of God does not mean I'm in line with the devil, Mr. Bachum!”
I was walking towards him now, willing him to put his finger on the trigger. I could end him. Sure, if Rich fell, the war would not end. But Tyre would be short an arm; he would be amputated and vulnerable to our attack. Adam's city was burning around me. I could hear the screams of his people as they scrambled for the city limits. When I closed my eyes briefly, I saw men, women, and children running in terror and disappearing through the wall into the darkness of the forest. I saw others belonging to Tyre pulling back a thick golden string on the back of a large, glass, circular bowl poised towards the sky. The sun darkened overhead as one of its rays was sucked into the bowl. One of his men turned the device so it would fire into one of the crowds of screaming, terrified people. I opened my eyes just as a fire more powerful than any that could erupt from a man-made bomb consumed them.
It had taken exactly one second to see all that I had seen. My power was growing stronger.
“This is a win-win for both of us, Rich.” I told him softly. “If we live, we live another day. If we die, well...” I smiled and shook my head slightly as I studied his face. “One of us will know the truth about all this, won't we?”
“You know nothing of ‘all this!’ You know nothing of anything!”
I blinked at him.
“Too easy.” I murmured.
“If you did, you would not align with Adam! You would not allow yourself to be twisted into some filthy creature from this world! You don't deserve a minute of life if you think that all of this is right!”
I realized suddenly that all the men who had surrounded us were dead. Tyre had run off when he realized that he was the only target left for Adam to disembowel. I was staring down the business end of a shotgun that was being pointed at me by a deranged, fanatical lunatic, and yet Adam had not stepped in to intervene. Perhaps he was allowing me to handle the situation on my own. I appreciated his belief in me. I appreciated his willingness to let me dispatch the threat that stood so firmly and tremulously before me alone.
No. I realized that something was not right.
I reached forward and grabbed the muzzle of the gun. With a quick, powerful jerk of my arm, I was able to pull it from Rich's grasp and send him down onto his knees. He looked up at me, willing me to shoot him. Only after being martyred in this “holy” war would he earn his place at God's side. His ignorance and his blind devotion to that phantom version of God brought about the strangest feeling in me: pity.
“We find ourselves at an impasse, Rich.” I told him as I put the gun over my shoulder. “I will not shoot you because I will not spoil you with a death you and your despicable wife would be proud of. Goodbye for now. I know next time you will not hesitate.”
Like the contemptible coward he was, he ran. Later, I knew Tyre would make him pay for not killing me. Rich knew of the consequences and still, he did not fight me. I turned back to watch him disappear from view, knowing that he and I would meet again, knowing that I would be the one to kill him or vice-versa. Either way, one of us would end the other.
“Adam?” I asked as I turned around. Amongst the pile of bodies, I could not see him. My exhaustion seemed to have intensified. My legs dragged as I walked through the carnage. I struggled to raise them when I had to step over the fallen men.
“Adam?!” I asked again, too tired to suppress the fear for him that was so evident in my voice.
“Here.”
His voice was barely audible, even in the silence. In it, I heard his pain. I forced my tired body to move quickly, knowing he was hurt badly. I did not want to imagine, even for a moment, that he might die. While his personality and his actions antagonized me to no end, sometimes purposely, I couldn't stand to lose someone else, even the man who from the moment I met him, had stirred a great, raging storm of conflicting emotions inside of me.
“Hey...” I whispered gently before kneeling beside him. As soon as I had steadied myself, I pressed my hand to the wound in his stomach. His warm blood streamed over my hand, saturating my skin with the darkest red I had ever seen.
“It's fatal, Brynna.”
“Stop it.” I ordered firmly. “Come on. We need to leave. Before he left, Rich thought about the others and bringing them back here to finish us off. I also saw more fire from the harness. We need to go.”
“You need to go. There is no help for me.” He told me in a tone firm enough to rival my own yet still displaying his weak and pained state. An explosion of empathy overtook me, and I knew then that I could not leave him.
“My city will burn. It is my duty and my humblest privilege to stay and burn with it.”
“This is like the captain going down with the ship.” I told him. “And though it is very honorable, you are far too important to die now. Think about your dear friend Don. He would be lost without you. Now, get up.”
“I cannot walk. It is fatal, Brynna. You must go.”
“Stop saying that.” I took his arm and wrapped it around my neck. “On three, okay? One, two, three!” I pulled him forward, and he moved his feet back, turning his body to rise onto his knees. The pain had to have been tremendous, unimaginable... Still, he did not make a sound.
“I must stay.” He gasped out. “I must stay here to die, Brynna. This is my city.”
We were both on our knees facing one another. My face was very close to his. As my empathy grew for him, I did something unexpected: I closed the space between us and planted a quick, warm kiss on his cheek.
“I know. But this is your world, also. It is overrun by the Bachums, their people, and their message that is a perversion of all we know and believe. We can only save Pang… Purissimus… with your help, Adam.”
His rough hand came up to grasp my cheek. The scorching heat between us had nothing to do with the building that had just collapsed beside us in an almighty explosion of fire and debris. His eyes hypnotized me into a beautifully tranquil space that erased all fear and pain. Stranger even is the fact that I could see a similar lull in his eyes as he gazed into mine.
I shook my head back and forth rapidly and frowned slightly.
“Alright, we need to get you on your feet. One, two, three!”
He did emit one almost inaudible groan of pain when I pulled him even harder. My hand was pressed over the one of his that he had covering the wound. Once I had successfully gotten him onto his feet, he stumbled into me, nearly knocking both of us back to the ground. I dug my heels into the blood-soaked earth and slid backwards in the soggy moisture for one unsure minute. Then, my strength registered finitely in my arms and torso, and I was able to hold him, despite his great mass.
“I'll try to walk as best as I can.” He gasped out to me as we both continued to hold his wound.
“Or I could carry you. You carried me earlier, and now, I owe you the same courtesy.” I told him in an effort to lighten the mood with a terrible joke. Sure enough, he chuckled weakly. The effort it took for him to force the laugh out pained him severely. I knew by the way he grimaced.
We took small, labored strides to move forward, away from the small battle we had just fought and won; away from the war we were fighting and losing. I ignored the growing ache in my shoulders and back and focused on him, knowing his pain was turning to agony and still, he would not show it to me. I focused on the tree line that grew closer very slowly with each step we took. I yearned for the shelter of the forest, where even the Bachums feared to tread. They had been spoiled by their open surroundings and therefore, knew nothing of the dangers within the trees. They would not risk their lives by traveling through the woods unless absolutely necessary. I knew that James was smart enough to hide Violet, Elijah, Penny, Alice, and Quinn within their age-old shelter. In my mind, I saw him ordering Don to turn Savannah, Oliver, and Ellie over to him. He had ushered them to safety as well. In the forest, he knew they would all be safe.
Well, they would be safe from the Bachums.
The hill was the most arduous part of our journey. While I supported most of his weight, I also pushed him gently, giving him just enough momentum to move his feet up the steep slope. When we reached the top, I was using him to support myself almost as much as he was using me.
“You could have left me, you know.” He whispered to me as we both stood, catching our breath.
I looked up at him and scowled.
“Do you think so little of me?” My scowl dissolved into a dramatically disapproving frown. From the frown, a tiny smirk formed. Adam laughed the soft chuckle that was I was beginning to acknowledge as his trademark. Then, he pressed his lips to my forehead for a long, tender, thankful kiss. I jerked away, alarm springing to life uncomfortably inside of my chest. I couldn't afford to grow closer to him. I couldn't even afford the lack of physical distance between him and me. Our immediate closeness and our growing dependency on one another reminded me of James, and I cringed visibly.
“You and your aversion to feelings...” He shook his head slightly and tightened his grip on me for no other reason than that his legs were beginning to fail him. “That was only meant to thank you for saving my life. If I wished for romantic involvement with you, I would leave little room for doubt or deliberation.”
I spun us around to face the woods and walked forward quickly, leaving his feet struggling to move at the same pace.
“Keep talking like that, and you'll be crawling behind me.”
“At least I will be at the perfect level to watch you as you walk ahead of me.”
“You are repulsive!” I exclaimed as I slapped him very gently in the chest. Any more force than what I had used would send him falling to the ground. His bloodied hand came up quickly to grasp the one I had used to hit him. I looked up at him, entranced into silence by those beautiful eyes once again. James, Maura, and the burning city behind us disappeared from my conscious thoughts, and there was only that breathtakingly beautiful silence. There was only him, with his ruggedly handsome face, his muscular chest beneath my hand, and his strong body leaning against mine. There were no explosive bangs created by the sun's energy being thrust forcefully into the buildings Adam's people had labored endlessly to build. There was only the sound of our beating hearts; after we turned to face one another, I felt the strength of his thumping against the bones of my chest. I brought my hand up to rest on his scratchy, stubble-covered cheek. His rough hands moved my sweat and blood-drenched hair from my face. Rising up onto my tiptoes, I leaned into him...
Slut.
My brain broadcast the word on a spinning marquee, and Maura’s voice read it out loud. Without hesitation, I pulled away and closed my eyes when he rested his forehead against mine. A bang so powerful that it shook the very land beneath our feet made us turn our attention to the city. The sun had disappeared from the sky, but the blinding light of its flames lit up the space before us. From within its painful luminescence, I watched the shadows of buildings crumble to ash; I watched the ash disappear into nothing. People unfortunate enough to be in the midst of their escape were blasted away, and I knew there would be no remains; not a bone, not a shred of skin...
I remembered another world, another time, another race being erased from existence in a thunderous display of God's power that rivaled the one I was seeing unfold before me. From the ashes of our Earth, we had been meant to travel the universe to a brave new world. We were meant to rebuild civilization and create a new life. Yet here we all were, scattered, afraid, and once again, on the brink of extinction. Since our arrival on the purest of planets, we had desecrated all of our God-given chances to create a new world from the debris of destruction.
We were, I am very sad to say, the living results of a shattered genesis. We were, beyond the forgiving shadow of doubt, failures of nature. No holy war could remedy such a persistent, painful truth. No lies or reassurances we would inevitably tell ourselves could change the certainty of our deficiency as a race or our impending, final demise.
When the last of that blinding light died away, the sun resumed its place in the sky only to be assailed by the black smoke of the fallen city. Its rays struggled to break through the blockade; as a result, an eerie haze was cast on the ashes and the few scraps of debris that had managed to survive the blast. The sight was beautiful in its own way, though disturbingly bizarre to the point of chilling every last drop of my blood. I had always wondered what a nuclear holocaust would look like, and the sun harness had produced such a scene for my viewing. I shook my head back and forth, reminding myself that so many of Adam's people and maybe even a few of my own had been killed. Whatever remained of their bodies now drifted away in the wind.
I was twirling through space, falling forever. There was nothing left. Every salvation, every moment of solace had been taken from us cruelly and without just cause. Every escape was merely an unnecessary detour on the road to the final scene, where we would be slaughtered painfully and without mercy. We would be taken from the worlds and lives we had so dirtied and contorted.
“Adam?” I asked softly. Both of my hands held his firmly.
“Yes?”
“I believe we have reached the end.”
In my peripheral vision, I saw him shake his head. He reached out and ran his finger along my jawline before turning my head so I could look into his eyes once again.
“My dear Brynna,” He whispered, “The darkest evil has not yet even broken the horizon.”
Book Two of the Eternity series, The Bargaining Path
is now available in the Kindle Store.
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