Robbie gave him a surly look. “I still don’t see why we have to leave.”
There was nothing more to say, so John looked at his daughter. Glaring at him, she said, “We might never see you again.”
Because he’d sworn to always tell the truth, he said, “I hope that’s not true, but I can’t make promises. I made a mistake when I didn’t settle things with Mr. Gantry in Bitterroot. Now I have to square it on my own.”
Robbie looked befuddled. “Why don’t you just fight him?”
“Because I did him wrong,” John said quietly.
When Susanna gave Bones a last cuddle and put him back in his box, John cursed himself again. But it was the fury on Abbie’s face that nearly dropped him like a bullet.
What in God’s name were you thinking to give a child a dog she couldn’t keep?
He wanted to plead with them to understand, but what could he say? That he loved them too much? That he’d rather die himself than see them come to harm? He had tried to explain to Abbie again last night, but his throat had closed up. He hadn’t even apologized for his smart remark about French letters. Of all the stupid things he’d said in his life, John put that at the top of the list.
He wanted to tell her the truth—that he was awed at the thought of his seed growing in her womb—but the wall around his heart had cracks in it. If she touched him, the bricks would tumble down, leaving them all unprotected from Gantry. So instead of kissing his wife and telling his kids he loved them, John looked at the squirming puppy. “If I can’t take care of him, Silas will.”
Abbie gasped. “Don’t you dare talk like that! Can’t you see what you’re doing?”
“Hell, yes! I can see—it’s killing me. But this is for the best.”
“Who says?”
“I say.” He hated the edge in his voice, but he needed to cut them out of his life, at least until Gantry wasn’t a threat. He hoped she’d forgive him. Then he wondered if he could ever forgive himself for causing all this pain.
Just as John would have done, Susanna walked out the back door without a goodbye. Robbie followed his big sister, leaving John alone with his wife. So much needed to be said. I love you… I want this child…You’re my life, my hope…
But he didn’t dare open his mouth. Instead he tossed the dregs of his coffee down the sink. “Are you sure you have enough money?”
Abbie tightened her lips in a line. “More than enough and you know it.”
“Wire me from somewhere along the way. I want to know you’re safe.” As he set the cup down with a thunk, he dared to look at her.
Her gaze raked his face. “If you’re that worried, come with us.”
Her voice called to him like whiskey and smoke. Like milk and bread. Like all the comforts he yearned for and couldn’t have. John shook his head. “I can’t, Abbie. The mess with Gantry has to end once and for all.”
When she took a step toward him, John opened the back door. “Go on, now. You don’t want to be late.”
Without another word, she walked away.
As she took her seat on the train, Abbie wondered if it was the same car that had brought her to Midas. She could smell the oil, and grime still coated the window. She couldn’t stop hoping that John would change his mind. Nor could she stop herself from peering out the window, longing for a final glimpse of him. She was craning her neck to see the boardwalk that led to the platform when the conductor came down the aisle.
“Mrs. Leaf?”
“Yes?”
“I have a message from your husband. He wants you to get off the train.”
But why hadn’t John come himself? Abbie wasn’t a fool. “How do you know it’s my husband?”
“I guess I don’t, but he said to tell you that a man named Gantry just got on the train and knows where you’re sitting.”
The pieces snapped together. John would be pursuing Ben, and that’s why he had sent the conductor. Robbie and Susanna were already pushing into the aisle as she grabbed the satchel and charged toward the door.
“Wait,” she called to the kids. She wanted to be in front, but Susanna had already gone down the steps, followed by Robbie. When Abbie reached the door, she stood on the top step just as she’d done six weeks ago, scanning the crowd for her children.
“If you scream, Mrs. Leaf, I’ll shoot your daughter right here.”
When Abbie’s gaze locked on a wiry man with glittering eyes, she knew she’d been duped by Ben Gantry. He had pulled Susanna against his side and was poking her in the ribs with a gun hidden under his coat. Abbie didn’t doubt he’d pull the trigger. His eyes held the worst kind of insanity. She recognized it, because she’d felt it herself the night Robert had burned her with his cigarette. She would have done anything to escape the pain—anything at all.
With a sickening roll of her stomach, she knew why John had wanted them to leave. Forcing herself to stay calm, she walked down the steps. “Don’t hurt her,” she said. “Take me instead.”
“I’m taking all three of you. If you make a sound, she’s dead.”
Clutching her satchel, Abbie weighed her options. She considered telling Robbie to run for help, but the risk was too great. She wanted to lunge at Gantry herself, but she didn’t have the physical strength to tackle him, nor did she have a weapon. She thought about swinging the bag at his head, but her bad shoulder made an attack too risky.
Sick to her stomach, she realized she had been in this position with Robert many times. She’d have to fight with her wits. “Are you sure you want to do this, Ben?”
He pulled his mouth into a sneer. “Get in front of me and hold on to the boy. If he runs, she’s dead.”
As Abbie gripped Robbie’s arm, Gantry nodded at a buckboard waiting on the street. “You and the boy climb in first.”
Abbie scanned the crowd for someone she could signal, but the platform was full of strangers. Knowing Gantry had the gun in Susanna’s side made her careful as she climbed into the wagon. So did the sense of his eyes on her back.
“Don’t even think about running,” he said.
With chills tripping down her spine, Abbie watched as Gantry shoved Susanna onto the seat. Keeping the weapon tight on her ribs, he squeezed next to them, took the reins in one hand and drove out of town.
Chapter Twenty
John stood like a sentry in the kitchen, watching the clock tick off ten minutes before he grabbed his coat and headed for the train station. If he couldn’t see Abbie and the kids through the window, he’d ask a conductor to check on them. He had to know they were safe on the train. Then he could focus on Gantry.
When he reached the platform, he saw a porter lugging Abbie’s trunk toward the baggage car. The sight of the scratched wood sent John back to the day she had arrived, dressed in black and furious. So much had happened in six short weeks. He was wearing his black coat as he always did, but everything else about him had changed. The loner who had nothing to lose had become a man with every reason to live.
As the porter slammed the door on the baggage car, John looked toward the passenger section of the train. All around him, couples were hugging and waving. Some folks had tears in their eyes, but they were all staying strong…for each other. Had he been wrong to ask Abbie to leave? No, he thought. It was for her own good and the safety of the children. But letting her go with anger between them had been selfish. He hadn’t been protecting Abbie when he’d turned her away last night. He’d been guarding his own heart.
John felt about two feet tall. What kind of husband let his wife get on a train with harsh words hanging between them? At the very least, he had to tell her he loved her and wanted their baby. Not once had he touched his daughter—not a hug or handshake. Nor was he setting a good example for his stepson. Fool that he was, John had just burned all the bridges he’d worked so hard to build.
As the engine worked up the steam to pull out of the station, he ran alongside the train searching for Abbie’s face in a window. Seeing only strangers, he charged int
o a passenger car and peered down the length of it. He scoured the travelers with his eyes, but Abbie and the kids were nowhere in sight. He paced through a second car, then a third. The whistle blasted and the engine started to puff more rapidly. A second blast told John that he’d barely have time to say goodbye.
He was almost running when he burst into the last car and saw nothing but empty seats. A conductor entered from the caboose and eyed him with curiosity. “Can I help you, sir?”
“I’m looking for my wife.”
The old man pursed his lips. “What does the missus look like?”
John described Abbie and the kids.
“They were in the front car. I brought her a message from a man who said he was her husband. He didn’t look a thing like you.”
An unholy terror ripped through John’s chest. “What was the message?”
“Just that she should get off the train because of some fellow named Gantry.”
John bolted for the door and skidded down the steps, scanning the crowd for clues. Everywhere he looked he saw evil. Suspicion. Fear on the faces of strangers as he jostled them out of the way. Where had Gantry taken them? John didn’t know, but he knew about revenge. The man would leave a note—but where? Nothing had been left at the parsonage and now Gantry had three prisoners to manage.
John figured the easiest way to send a ransom note was to drop it at the post office, so he ran down the street, elbowing past strangers and ignoring friends. As soon he entered the storefront, he asked Bill Norris for his mail.
“Sorry, Reverend. It’s not up yet.”
“Check the slot,” John ordered.
After giving him a funny look, Bill glanced at the box under the slot in the counter and lifted a smudged envelope. “Someone must have just dropped this.”
John snatched it from his hand and tore open the seal.
They’re going to suffer, Leaf. And so are you. If you want to see them one last time, go to the canyon where you taught your girl how to shoot. I was watching…I’ve been watching. Now it’s your turn. Be there at dawn.
The signature read “Benjamin Gantry,” a sign the man had no shame or hope, and that he was willing to hang for the crime he planned to commit.
John refolded the letter and put it in his pocket. Instinct told him to go after Gantry with his gun, but the man had picked the spot for his hostages well. He’d probably hole up in the old mining shack at the back of the canyon. He’d see John coming, and the rock walls made it impossible to approach from any other angle. The canyon was a dead end in more ways than one.
“Something wrong, Reverend?”
John shook his head at Bill. He could send out word and have twenty men at his side, but a crowd would only add to the danger facing Abbie and the kids. He had to fight this enemy alone. Whatever it took…John didn’t care.
After assuring Bill he was fine, he headed home. He had letters to write to his wife and children. If he died tomorrow, he wanted it to be with as few regrets as possible.
“Mama?”
Abbie’s heart clenched at the sound of Susanna’s whisper. It was past midnight, and the three of them were tied up and huddled together in a shack. Robbie had fallen asleep with his head on her shoulder, a boy again in spite of his efforts to be brave. Susanna was leaning against Abbie’s other arm, but she hadn’t surrendered to the exhaustion that had come from twelve hours of captivity.
As for herself, Abbie was fighting mad. She had done her best to talk sense into Ben. She had tried everything from sympathy to outrage to bargaining, but he’d refused to listen. She had also kicked and punched when he tied her up. For that effort he’d slapped her hard. She could still taste blood from the cut inside her mouth. Aside from offering them swigs of water, he had stayed outside the shack, holding a rifle and whistling “Amazing Grace.”
The music gave Abbie chills as she leaned close to her daughter. “How are you doing, sweetie?”
Tears welled in Susanna’s eyes. “I wish he’d stop whistling. What do you think he’s going to do with us?”
Abbie wiggled her wrists in the rope, trying again to loosen them. “I don’t know, but I’d guess he left a ransom note. Your father will come for us. I’m sure of it.”
A whimper escaped from Susanna’s throat. “I’m so sorry, Mama. I caused all of this.”
“Don’t be silly.” Abbie was glad for the chance to sound like a mother. “If anyone is to blame, it’s Mr. Gantry, though I suspect he’s half crazy. If something happened to you and Robbie, I’d go crazy, too.”
“I know about that day,” Susanna said in a hush. “He told me all about it yesterday.”
Abbie knew who he was. She and Susanna had made their amends, but her daughter hadn’t figured out what to call John. Abbie hadn’t pushed, but the time had come to knock on that door. “So what do you think?”
Susanna’s shoulders started to shake. “He told me about feeling dead inside before he met Silas, and how sorry he was for the bad things he did. Now I know why he wanted us to leave.”
“I do, too.” Not being able to hug her daughter made Abbie’s throat ache. “John loves us all very much.”
In a whisper, Susanna said, “I want to call him Pa.”
Fighting tears, Abbie kept her voice low. “You can call him Pa when this is over. He’d like that a lot.”
She wished she could be as certain of John’s feelings for the baby. She wiggled her hands inside the rope until her wrists stung with the chafing. Her jaw ached from where Gantry had struck her, and his whistling filled the night with hopelessness. She was aching for them all—even Ben—but she wanted that death song to be for him and no one else.
Susanna shivered against Abbie’s arm. “I’ll never forgive myself if something happens to any of us.”
The lament in her daughter’s voice sent blood pounding to Abbie’s head. Ben Gantry had no right to revenge—to justice, yes. But not this cruelty. With her bloody wrists and aching jaw, Abbie figured she knew how to do two things in life—she knew how to love and she knew how to fight. No matter what happened tomorrow, she and the kids wouldn’t sit here like cooped-up chickens.
She pulled again at the ropes on her wrists. If she could loosen one hand, they’d have a chance. She’d claw Ben’s eyes out. She’d attack him from behind and tell the kids to kick at his knees. If she could find a weapon, so much the better. In the dim light, she scanned the cabin. It held nothing but Ben’s bedroll and the satchel she had carried off the train. The bag held Abbie’s treasures…including the promise rock John had given her at the stream. Just as he said, it was smooth enough to fit in her palm and big enough to be useful.
Abbie turned to Susanna. “Can you wiggle your wrists?”
“Just a little, but I’ll keep trying.”
“Good. If we can get free, I have a plan.”
It was hours past dusk when John finished writing the letter to Abbie. He added it to the ones addressed to Susanna and Robbie and then opened his Bible where he kept the letter he’d written to Ben Gantry. The pages had yellowed with time, but the words rang truer than ever. After putting it in his coat pocket, John picked up the letters to his family and walked into the kitchen. After tracing Abbie’s name with his finger, he set the envelopes on the table along with a note to Silas that explained everything.
John stepped back and blew out a breath. His friend had been badgering him all day, demanding to know why he’d let Abbie leave in a tiff. Annoyed, John had gone to his room and locked the door so he could write the letters in peace. Now that the task was done, he felt the emptiness of the house in his bones.
Silas was sleeping upstairs, but John didn’t want to wake him. His friend would try to talk him out of his plan, but John had weighed the options. Asking the sheriff for help would lead to trouble, and so would rounding up a band of men. One false move and Abbie and the kids would be dead. He thought about asking Silas to help him with a midnight rescue, but two men weren’t enough to guarantee his family’
s safety.
That left John standing alone. No, he corrected himself. He’d be taking a posse of angels and praying Ben would be satisfied with his remorse. If that wasn’t enough, he knew what he had to do. He’d offer up a trade—his life for Abbie and the children.
He wasn’t keen on dying tomorrow, but he’d go with a clean conscience. With the letters written, he headed for the stream with the intention of throwing rocks. He needed to empty his mind. If he thought too hard about Abbie, he’d lose the coldness he needed to face Ben. Neither could he think about Susanna or the baby he might never hold. John blocked those thoughts by counting his steps, but as soon as he heard the water rippling through the pines, he imagined Abbie’s voice. When he reached the canopy of the oak, he felt her standing at his side. Twice he’d proposed to her on this spot. He’d seen his daughter’s face for the first time while sitting beneath the branches. In the past two years, he had spent hours here seeking God’s face and finding understanding in the stars.
Needing that peace now, he sat on a boulder at the edge of the stream and took the letter to Gantry out of his pocket. With moonlight streaming down from the heavens, he read it for the hundredth time.
I’d trade my life for theirs if I could…
John meant every word of apology, but the truth was that he couldn’t change the past. Nor could he predict the future. That’s why he’d written a letter full of passion to his wife. For Susanna he’d penned words of understanding. He’d told her he loved her and challenged her to live big. Robbie’s letter had encouraged him to grow into a real man—one who could love and fight at the same time. He’d ended each letter with the same thought.
You’ll see me in the stars at night. I’ll be watching from heaven every minute of the day…
A lump pressed into his throat. If he died tomorrow, Abbie would grieve. He hated himself for causing that pain, but he took solace in knowing she’d take comfort from the letter.
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