“What do you think?” he asked.
“Very smooth.”
He took a few sips of his own and set the glass on the coffee table beside hers. His brown eyes were darker than the brandy and much more intoxicating as he gazed at her and asked, “Did you enjoy yourself tonight?”
“Very much. Did you hear the buzz about your new offices? John’s wife said she can’t wait for the open house. Your store manager in Ukiah said the same thing.”
“I told John about Vincente Largo’s sculpture. He was impressed. I assured him he’ll be even more impressed when he sees what you’ve done with the executive office suites.” Zack paused then added, “I’d like to ask you a favor.”
“What?”
“Will you hostess the open house?”
“I’d be honored to do that with you.”
“Good.”
He was gazing at her with that same look of desire she’d glimpsed when they were dancing. The moment seemed suspended in time. “I’d like that hug now.” His voice was a husky command.
Everything inside of her was answering yes, yes, yes to the hunger and need glowing in his eyes. When she reached for him, he reached for her. Melding with a rustle of her dress and his low murmur of her name, they held each other long enough for the beats of their hearts to unify, long enough to realize hugs weren’t enough, long enough for their breaths to quicken and their longing to become obvious to each other. His lips took hers with a need and hunger that had built up all evening, along with the desire she’d seen in his eyes, with a growing sense that he was letting her into his life. His tongue swept her mouth, engaging her in an exciting dance of man and woman. The lingering taste of brandy on both of their tongues added to all the delicious sensations as her fingers slipped into his hair, as she reveled in everything that was Zack and the moment and the fulfillment of her dreams.
Slowing the kiss, he brought his hands to her face and reluctantly pulled away from her. “Tell me about your life before you came here. Tell me…about your accident.”
The passionate haze that had overtaken her cleared with his words. She wanted to tell him only the truth, but she knew she couldn’t do that yet. Everything had become more complicated with this new closeness, and she was even more afraid now of him pushing her away…of him pushing her out of his life. The moment of truth was coming, but she needed to ward it off as long as possible to give his feelings time to grow so that they’d have a chance at the happiness she knew they could have.
Where did that knowing come from? Sherry?
She didn’t want to think about Zack’s wife now.
“Zack, can’t we just live in the present?” She wanted to forget her reason for coming here, forget that she was on a mission. She just wanted to go with the flow of the feelings that she knew she had for Zack and revel in the rightness of it.
Smoothing his thumb over the scar at her temple, he leaned forward and pressed a kiss there. “We can try.”
Then she was in his arms and he was kissing her again.
Their kisses became so hungry that Melanie didn’t even realize Zack had tugged off his tie and was now unfastening the buttons of her dress. This was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Zack and now and satisfying a need that had begun with her dreams.
When he saw her black satin bra, he groaned, then traced his finger along the top of the half cups. “Do you have any idea of how perfectly beautiful you are?”
The look in Zack’s eyes told her he was speaking his truth. “I feel beautiful when you look at me like that.”
“Like I can’t wait to undress you?” His smile was sexy and made her tummy somersault.
“Is that what it means?”
His expression turned serious. “That and a lot more. I need you, Melanie.”
She wanted more than his need, but that would have to do for now. “I need you, too,” she murmured, wishing she could tell him she loved him, wishing she could tell him everything. Yet everything was too great a risk, especially at this moment.
When he kissed her again, it was tender, fiery, filled with a desire they’d shared but had restrained all these weeks. The weight of his lower body was tantalizingly erotic, but as he moved on top of her, she was restricted by her dress. It was a delicious restraint as his trousers moved against the silky material. She could feel his arousal, and her own sense of wanting grew until it seemed to fill the whole room.
Zack’s hands explored as he kissed. As his tongue outlined her lips, his hand moved from her waist up her midriff so teasingly slowly. She pushed her tongue into his mouth wanting more, wanting faster, wanting all of Zack.
Accepting her passion, he stroked her tongue with his, but still didn’t hurry, still moved his fingers over her skin as if he were memorizing every inch. When his hand reached her breasts, she thought she’d die from needing him to touch her. Still he teased, still he took entirely too much time, still he made a slow circle around her breast with his fingertips until she was writhing under him, kissing him with a fervor she never felt before…pleading in every silent way for him to truly make love to her.
When she opened her eyes for a moment, she saw his were closed. The after-midnight silence intensified everything that was happening between them.
Breaking the kiss, he ran his lips down her neck and paused at the pulse at her throat. “Oh, Sherry,” he murmured.
The wonderful, beautiful, heart-altering haze suddenly lifted with Zack’s mention of his deceased wife’s name. Melanie froze, hurt beyond measure, trying to understand, knowing reason had nothing to do with any of this. She went still and cold, and tears came to her eyes.
Zack must have realized immediately what he’d done, what he’d said. He pulled back, and she couldn’t bear to look at him.
“I’m not Sherry,” she murmured.
“Melanie, I’m sorry.”
What was she doing here? How did she ever think he would come to love her. Did he sense Sherry was still with them…with her? Why had this burden come with such a wonderful gift?
She pushed at his shoulders, still avoiding his gaze. “Let me up, Zack.”
“Melanie, it was a slip of the tongue. It was habit. It was…”
“It was all the things you still feel for her, might always feel for her.”
Shaking his head and levering himself up, he protested, “You don’t understand.”
She swung her legs over the side of the sofa. As he ran his hand through his hair, she pleaded, “Help me understand, Zack.”
His face was etched with the grief and recriminations of the past fifteen months. “Sherry and I had an argument before she died. She…” With a loud oath, he stood. “I want to turn the clock back.”
She buttoned her dress. “You can’t do that, Zack.”
“Don’t you think I know I can’t? It’s going to take time. I need to replace the old memories with better ones.”
Her hands stilled as she realized he couldn’t move forward in his life until he settled the past. “You can’t just wipe out old memories as if they don’t exist. Tell me what’s troubling you so.” Please help me understand why I’m here.
“Talking isn’t going to change anything. I’m sorry about what happened, Melanie. I can only imagine how I’d feel if the situation was reversed.”
Disappointment and sadness filled Melanie. He wasn’t going to confide anything about his marriage or his feelings concerning Sherry. He wanted to stay in the here and now, and they couldn’t do that without dealing with the past. One thing Melanie knew—she wasn’t going to let him use her as a substitute or as a temporary bandage over a deep wound that needed work to heal. She was absolutely sure she loved Zack separately from whatever memories and feelings his wife had had. Right now, she wished she could make the dreams as well as everything else that seemed to come from Sherry just go away. She couldn’t deny what was happening to her…to Zack…to both of them. More than anything she wished she had the answers to all of her questions and now realized she possibly never would.<
br />
Zack was still looking at her with that longing in his eyes, and she wanted to ease it. But she couldn’t. Not this way.
She finished buttoning her dress, still feeling all the places on her body Zack’s lips and hands had touched. She tingled from his desire and hers. Desire was such a fleeting thing compared to everlasting love. What she felt with Zack was so much stronger than anything she’d ever felt with Phil.
When she stood, Zack did, too. Looking chagrined, he gazed into her eyes and didn’t move away. “Don’t let tonight influence whether or not you come on the ski vacation with us. I know Amy wants you there.” Then he added, “I do, too.”
Somehow they had to work this out. Somehow she had to find a way to talk to him about her dreams and Sherry. “I want to come along.”
He looked relieved. “Good.”
The awkwardness between them couldn’t be banished with a few words, and they both knew it. Nothing they said could change what had happened. She stepped away from him, from what had happened on the sofa, needing to be alone right now. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
She felt Zack’s eyes on her back as she left the room.
On Sunday afternoon Melanie was curled in a corner of the sofa catching up on her favorite decorating magazines when the intercom from the outside entrance buzzed. She went into the foyer to answer it. When she pushed the button, she expected one of Zack’s friends or Flo’s sister to be downstairs. But instead she heard Jordan’s voice.
“I’m here to see Melanie Carlotti. Jordan Wilson.”
“Jordan! What are you doing here?”
“Beam me up and I’ll tell you.”
Laughing, she said, “I’ll unlock the door. Come on up.”
After Melanie released the automated lock on the outside entrance, she waited at the penthouse door. When Jordan stepped off the elevator, she saw he had a brightly wrapped package in his hands—a Christmas present.
For the most part, she’d managed to stave off the holidays, not letting herself think about them too often…or too much. Now here Jordan was, reminding her Christmas wasn’t something she could ignore.
“Come on inside,” she murmured, suddenly overcome by memories of Christmases past and pictures of Kaitlyn filling her head.
Jordan studied her carefully. “I was surprised when you answered the intercom instead of Mrs. Briggs.”
She swallowed the lump in her throat. “Zack and Amy and Flo went to visit Zack’s friends near Clear Lake. They asked me to go along, but…”
He looked worried now. “Is something wrong?”
After a sigh she admitted, “Everything is getting complicated. I just needed some time alone.”
“Or time away from Zack?”
That was exactly what she’d needed. “I’m afraid I’m going to make a mess of all of this. I’m wondering if I should leave when this project’s done without telling him anything.” She really had been considering that since last night and the fiasco after they’d returned from his employee dinner.
“Can I get you something?” she asked Jordan. “Flo made cookies and I can brew up some hot chocolate.”
“That sounds great.”
Ten minutes later they were sitting on the sofa in the living room, sipping at mugs of chocolate.
“You took a chance coming without calling,” she told him.
“It was a beautiful day for a drive. I can’t stay long. I have to check on two admissions at the hospital tonight. I wanted to give you this.” He picked up the package he had brought with him and set it on her lap.
Melanie tore off the bow and then the wrappings. After she removed the lid of the box and brushed back the tissue paper, she found a mahogany framed découpage with dried pansies and roses arranged around a calligraphy saying.
Spring is just around the corner,
Hope is just around the bend.
The future is yours,
Define and claim and tend.
With Jordan knowing everything she’d been through and why she was here, she couldn’t keep tears from welling in her eyes. “Oh, Jordan, it’s beautiful. And just what I need right now.”
“I knew the holidays would be difficult for you.”
“I don’t want them to be.” She brushed a stray tear away. “I make myself remember them, and I see Kaitlyn as she sat under the tree with her new tricycle, with her new doll.” After pausing, she added, “She took her first steps at Christmas. Her eyes were always so bright with the wonder of it. But the memories aren’t enough, and I miss her so desperately.” The tears were falling too fast to blink away now.
Jordan hugged her, holding her tightly enough that she realized he knew exactly how she was feeling.
She was so lost in what had been and maybe what could be that she was hardly aware of the penthouse door opening. Needing Jordan’s comfort, it took a few moments for the sounds to register, and by the time they did, Zack and Flo were standing in the doorway. Amy came running into the room.
The toddler tugged on Melanie’s arm. “Mellie, Mellie. Saw horsey.”
Flo disappeared down the hall as Melanie tried to compose herself, to bring herself back to the here and now, to remember she felt a bond with this little girl, too. She was swiping away the tears in her eyes by the time Zack got to Amy and scooped her up into his arms. “I don’t think Melanie wants to hear about the horse right now. Maybe later.”
When Melanie looked up into Zack’s eyes, she realized he’d taken in the whole scene and come to a conclusion of his own.
Quickly she motioned to the present on the coffee table. “Jordan gave me a gift that made me a little weepy. I get like that at holidays.” It was the only explanation she could come up with.
“Sorry we barged in like that,” Zack muttered with a perturbed glance at Jordan. “I didn’t know you intended to have company while we were gone.” There was a cold note in his voice as if she’d planned this behind his back.
“I didn’t know Jordan was coming.”
With the tension getting worse, Jordan stood. “I had some time on my hands and decided to take a drive up here. But now I’d better be going.”
“You don’t have to leave on my account,” Zack said. “Amy’s going to take a nap, and I’m headed for my office. Feel free to stay as long as you want.”
“I have patients to see when I get back.”
Feeling awkward because Zack had seen her in Jordan’s arms, Melanie turned to Amy. “I want to hear all about the horsey. After your nap you can draw me pictures of him.”
“No nap,” Amy insisted. “Daw horsey.” Then Amy reached her arms out to Melanie.
“I can take her back to her room,” Zack insisted.
But Melanie took Amy from his arms. “No need for that. She can help me walk Jordan to the elevator.”
Zack examined Amy’s hold on Melanie’s neck. “All right. Bring her to my office when you’ve finished and we’ll decide about that nap.” He strode down the hall.
Amy tucked her head into the crook of Melanie’s shoulder, and she smoothed the little girl’s hair back. “Are you sure you have to leave already, Jordan? Zack’s offices are almost finished. I can give you a tour.”
He shook his head. “I really do have to get back.”
They crossed to the foyer and went out the door. At the elevator Jordan nodded to Amy. “I think she’s the one who’s going to help you get through the holidays.”
“I think you’re right about that,” Melanie said softly. Then, holding Amy in one arm, she gave Jordan another hug with the other. “Thank you so much for the present. It’s perfect.”
At that he just gave her one of those Jordan smiles, stepped into the elevator and was gone.
“Bye-bye,” Amy said as the doors closed.
Melanie bent her head against the little girl’s. “Come on. Let’s see if we can go talk your daddy out of that nap.”
Chapter Nine
Still smarting from seeing Melanie in Jordan Wilson’s arms, Za
ck pushed papers around his desk in his penthouse office on Monday afternoon.
Just friends, she’d said.
Had she ever kissed Jordan Wilson the way she’d kissed him?
Zack would bet his new headquarters that Jordan Wilson had known everything that had gone on in Melanie’s life before now.
The door to Zack’s office opened, and Ted Morgan peeked around the open door. “Flo said you were in here. Got a few minutes?”
Whenever his dad stopped in, he expected Zack to drop everything. Patiently Zack responded, “Sure, Pop. What’s up?”
Ted came in and sat in front of Zack’s desk. His flannel shirt was threadbare at the cuffs, and there was a hole in one elbow. Zack knew his dad had new shirts in his drawer but preferred his comfortable ones.
“I just wanted to check with you before I went out and bought Amy a few Christmas presents,” Ted explained. “I found this little store with handmade wooden toys. They’ve got a dollhouse as big as she is. What do you think?”
Zack knew anything like that would be expensive and more than his dad should spend. “I’m not sure she’ll be ready for a dollhouse until another year or two.”
Ted looked disappointed. “I thought it was something she could keep to remember me by. But I do want to get her something she’d like. What are you buying her?”
His father had taken him completely off guard. He hadn’t given much thought to Christmas, and it was time he did…for Amy’s sake. “I’m not sure—puzzles, a doll, maybe another stuffed toy.”
An awkward silence fell between them and, as in the past, Zack filled it with action. “How’d you like a tour of the offices? The rest of the furniture will be moved in this week. Melanie’s supervising the installation of the drapes and blinds.”
“I’d like to see what you’re doing here.”
Zack took his father on a tour beginning with the fourth floor. Ted didn’t say much as they went from room to room, and Zack wondered if he was bored. They ran into Melanie on the first floor where computers still sat around in boxes. Up on a stepladder, she was fooling with a valance above the draperies.
Zack went over to her. “What are you doing? The installers should have done that.”
A Husband In Her Eyes Page 12
