I glanced away nervously. “Umm. Yes.” I paused, took a deep breath and decided to just blurt it out, although I kept my voice as low as possible. “A ‘bad’ punishment is what I called them. He would, yes, use whips, paddles, and stuff.” The shock on her face made me feel horrible.
“What is ‘stuff’?” She asked curiously.
“Uh. Really? Do we have to do this now? In the middle of the supermarket?” I rolled my eyes looking around nervously.
“Yes! Yes, we do, dammit. You haven’t said anything to me yet except when you were moaning over a beer!” She was trying not to shout, but I knew it would get there soon. She was always determined to get what she wanted and shouting wouldn’t be beneath her.
Shit. I took a deep breath and lowered my voice to barely a whisper. “He would chain me up. Naked. And paddle, spank, and/or whip me depending on his mood.” I looked at her. If she really wanted to know it all, I was going to tell her. “He also wouldn’t let me come if it were a bad punishment.” I paused again and took a deep breath. “He would bring me all the way there and then not let me…climax.” Her face was now as white as a ghost. “A good punishment meant he would let me come.” I paused, forcing a smile. “Any questions?”
“Holy….whaa…why…why did you let him do that?” She was still in shock.
Because I was a virgin when I met him. But Melanie never knew that. I kept that from her our entire friendship. “Because he started it all slowly. And I have to admit, the good punishments…were incredible.” I said a bit shyly but noticed she was still staring at me like I was crazy. I looked away, “And because I didn’t have any bad punishments until we were farther along. By then, I was addicted to being allowed to come and, well, it went on from there.” I swallowed feeling like I needed to convince her that it wasn’t all too bad. “Umm, the good ones were actually fantastic. I mean, it could get pretty intense and mind-blowing.” I meekly smiled trying to convince her that being with him was actually pretty good, in the beginning. I remembered how good they felt and it seemed like I needed to explain.
“What made you leave? Was it just getting that bad?” She looked disgusted and I suddenly felt ashamed. I was so used to his world that it didn’t seem...different until I explained it to her.
“Yes, it was that and…” I looked away not sure how much to tell her about that last night. “I told my personal trainer–Mark,” I spit his name out. “That I felt like he was getting more upset with me and that I was in love with him and I was trying to figure out if he would ever really love me. Mark, at the time, was really kind to me during our workouts. He spoke to me as if he really cared. Mark was actually going back and telling him what I was saying the whole time. He decided to make sure I knew he wasn’t in love with me and never would be.” I decided that was enough for right now. Shit, that was more than enough for anyone to be told, especially in the middle of a supermarket. I admit my timing was not right.
We turned down the next aisle and I put two cases of beer in the cart. Melanie was trying to shake off the shock of what I just told her and tried to snap out of her haze. She looked down and asked, “Are we having a party or something?”
I laughed and said, “no. Now I need to be the one to get drunk. They know way too much about my messed up relationship with my ex and I just told you way more than any sane person should know.”
She shook her head in agreement and grabbed another case. We finished up our shopping in silence and walked home, again in silence. I was glad we brought her old lady looking grocery cart since we bought so much beer. Walking home, carrying those would have been a pain.
The guys were watching the game when we got back, so I started making the chili and popped a beer open. Melanie kept me company at the kitchen island still sort of in shock, but she tried to make idle conversation. My phone chimed a text. I knew it had to be Mark, since Melanie was the only other person who had my number.
Mark: Hey gorgeous! I giggled and Melanie looked at me quizzically. She mouthed “Mark?” I nodded.
Me: Hi
Mark: What are up to?
Me: Cooking chili
Mark: Mmm, sounds good. Wish I was there with you. Hmm, was that a hint? Too bad he couldn’t come over. But cannot imagine that cluster. I could see it now, I open the door and all three guys start beating Mark up. Not a good idea. I chuckled at the thought.
Me: Probably wouldn’t be the best idea, but I wish I could invite you.
Mark: Why is that?
Me: Did I mention I live with Flynn and Clark? A few minutes passed as I stirred the chili. Melanie came over to read the exchange. She giggled and playfully hit my back.
Mark: Nope, you didn’t. But you’re right, not a good idea I come over. Maybe after our run on Tuesday, we could grab a bite to eat? Maybe have a more intimate type of date?
Mel nudged me, still laughing. Z looked back at us from the couch but didn’t notice my phone in my hand since I held it down pretending to chat with Melanie. Even though he was way too possessive at the party, the ride home he had apologized and maybe he just had a tough couple of days. I thought maybe I should give him a fair shot at a real date.
Me: Sounds good. I’d like that.
Mark: Me too. Enjoy your chili! X
Mel giggled again seeing the kiss. I shh’d her while laughing. We were acting like school girls.
Me: Thank you. Can’t wait for Tuesday. X
Z got up and came into the kitchen for a beer. I quickly put my phone in my pocket.
He slipped his arm around my waist and whispered in my ear, “smells good.” I thought I would melt.
Blushing, I inhaled deep and said “thanks,” before taking a drink from my beer. I glanced over at Melanie and she was grinning ear to ear. I made a face at her. How was it that Z was making me blush so quickly? Mark’s text exchange was fun, but having Z right here made me breathless.
“So, do you like football?” Z asked with his arm still around me.
I chuckled, “Uh, no. Actually, I prefer rugby.” Melanie choked on her swig of beer as I said that, knowing the real reason.
Z looked at her questioningly. “Why is that so funny?”
“Ask Iz why she likes rugby better than football,” she teased. I playfully rolled my eyes at her, grinning.
Clark and Flynn turned around to watch me as I responded. My eyes got wide as I shot Melanie an ‘I’m going to kill you look’ and I started laughing.
Z asked “What? Why do you like rugby better?” He nudged me with his shoulder as he tilted his head, curious as to what my response might be.
I rolled my eyes and stated, “because the game is faster paced.”
Melanie, eyes wide, shouted out while laughing, “That’s not the reason why! Tell them the truth.”
I turned around to stir the chili wanting to just end this conversation. Z put his arm back around my waist and turned me around. “Come on, tell us.” He urged slyly, keeping his arm around me and then licked his lips. God, he’s so sexy. I couldn’t contain a giggle if I tried.
I rolled my eyes again and blurted out the reason. “Because the guys don’t wear any gear and you can see their muscular bodies all hot and sweaty.” There. I said it. I took another long drink from my beer. My face was all red and embarrassed as the guys busted out laughing.
“Figures!” Z shouted while shaking his head.
Clark called out, “if guys said that about a women’s sport, we’d be assholes!”
“Oh, come on…” both Melanie and I shouted at him.
“No, it’s true! I agree with Clark,” Flynn shouted out.
This started a full on guys vs. girls yelling match and we went back and forth arguing our points and laughing.
Z smirked at me and kissed my cheek. “Hot and sweaty, huh,” He whispered in my ear softly. Between his kiss and whispering in my ear, I had to catch my breath. I took another drink from my beer, hoping to calm my heart from beating so fast. His eyes were bright with laughter. I just shook m
y head, laughing and still feeling his kiss on my cheek.
What was he trying to do? He was so sweet and cute. It was confusing my points on why I was a rebound to him. Was he attempting to make up for being a jerk last night? Or was he working harder so I’d be his rebound?
I set up the chili bar and then told everyone it was ready. Z sat next to me while eating his chili at the kitchen island. I was on my third beer by then and feeling a really nice buzz and still replaying all the things Z had said and done to me this afternoon. Goosebumps shot through me to the point that Z noticed. “Cold?” He asked smirking. All I could do was smile and nod. I was pretty sure he didn’t believe me. I bit my lip trying to contain the shiver that went through me. He just…takes my breath away.
Everyone was complimenting my chili as they ate and I was thrilled they liked it so much. We were chatting about the game and laughing about our “discussion” of guys vs. girls.
After a few more beers, we decided to play pool. As we gathered around the pool table and started our game I noticed Z, just like before at the kitchen island, made sure he was standing next to me while we waited turns.
I let the guys play first. I figured I’d let them feel good about themselves for a little while. We all teased Clark about his prowling and, of course, he came back with a couple of one night stands Flynn and Z had with some psycho girls. Z teased him about Mary and how he needs a new accountant now because of him.
Melanie started a discussion with Clark and Flynn. I turned to Z and asked him what Z was short for. The sexiest expression came over his face and a cute spark in his eyes. “Guess…”
Okay, I’ll bite. I was getting pretty drunk from all my beers and flirting with Z was really appealing. Especially after all the little things he had done during the afternoon. “Zach,” I guessed while giggling that he wanted to play this guessing game.
“Nope. Guess again,” he said nudging me a little more flirty and smiling broadly. I was staring at his lips now and my belly clenched and not because of the beer. He was so cute. In my drunken haze, I was wondering how many names begin with the letter Z. I swallowed hard as I gave my best guess. “Umm, Zachary.”
“You already answered Zach; Zachary is just another form of that.” He gave me another nudge. “Come on, you can do better than that,” he teased.
His lips were wet from drinking his beer. I really wanted to kiss his lips. He was so much taller than me, so if I were to try, I’d really have to stand on my tiptoes. Actually, he would have to bend down a bit and…
“Hey, your turn blondie; it’s your game.” Clark shot a peanut at me, laughing. I snapped out of my mini fantasy and grabbed a cue stick. I broke and kept going. One right after the other I sunk each ball into its pocket after calling each shot ahead. Each time I sank one, the guys would start to cheer and say “Holy shit!” Clark said he had the biggest boner at one point. I shook my head at his comment and returned to playing. After sinking the last one making an Eight Ball Run, I turned and smirked, “Who am I playin’ next?” The room was silent.
Flynn spoke up, still in shock. “Wow. How’d you learn how to play so well?”
I shrugged and blurted out, “I’ve been playing since I was five at pool halls while my mom was trying to pick up guys.”
“What?” Clark exclaimed. “How’d you get into pool halls that young?” Somehow he totally missed the part about my mom being a whore.
Z and Flynn were eyeing me curiously and I realized I needed to stop myself before they turned to pity eyes. I cursed myself for even opening the door to that conversation. “I snuck in.” I grabbed my beer, drank the rest of it down and tried to smile. Everyone was still quiet.
Melanie knew the truth so she cleared her throat and jumped off her bar stool. “I’ve got the next game. Who wants to play?” I smiled at her to thank her for changing the subject. She winked at me as I left to head into the kitchen.
“Who wants another beer?” I called out. Z came walking in behind me.
“So, umm, is that really true?” He asked slowly.
“Sort of. Actually, my story gets much better. But you don’t need to hear all that.” I dismissed it with a wave of my hand and then grabbed another beer, taking a swig. I think I was even slurring at that point. Pity was filling his eyes and I hated that more than anything. Cursing myself for saying that and possibly piquing his interest to find out more, I wanted to change the subject, but couldn’t think of anything else to say.
He grabbed me by my waist and bent down so I would look him in his eyes. “No, really, I do want to know.” He was serious. I felt my face flush and my heartbeat picked up. “I really want to know more about you. You’ve got some crazy shit going on and I told you I’ve got a shoulder.”
“Yeah…” I stared into his eyes and then down to his shoulders. “You’ve really got great shoulders,” I blurted out, eyeing his chest and shoulders and then back up to his eyes. He smiled knowing I was thinking of other things. I was glad his eyes changed from the pity look that was there before. He looked like he was going to bend down his head to kiss me. Oh, please kiss me, I was screaming in my head as I licked my lips.
Just then, Clark walked in, “Hey Iz, it’s your turn again and I thought you were bringing beers for everyone.” Z’s eyes closed and I could see his jaw muscles flex. We both took a deep breath.
“Yeah, I’m, umm, I’m coming.” I stammered.
“No, but you look like you were going to try,” Clark snickered. Asshole. I turned, grabbed a couple beers and walked back to the pool table. I overheard Z saying something to Clark and then heard a punch. “Owww!” Clark yelled out. I just smiled to myself, imagining what that exchange was.
Flynn and Melanie looked really cozy when I returned to the room. He was sitting on a bar stool and she was in between his legs, leaning in saying something. I felt awful for walking in at that time. Flynn saw me and cleared his throat and Melanie backed up. Z and Clark came back in with their beers and we all started playing again.
After a few more games of pool, we were all joking around and still drinking. By then I was more than buzzed, borderline drunk, and my pool playing was going down a little. Clark said, “Wow, Iz, you play pool like a pro, you’re an excellent bartender and you cook…” Clark continued, “Is there anything you don’t do?”
I smiled real sexy, lined up a shot, glanced up at him and slowly said, “Girls... I don’t do girls,” and took my shot. Everyone busted out laughing and Melanie screamed out, “now there’s my Izzy! Damn, I missed that Izzy!” She high fived me and hugged me. “I love you, girl!”
I laughed, hugging her back and hollered out, “I missed you too Frackarooooooo!” Laughter erupted from the guys as they shook their heads.
Flynn was still laughing, but managed to ask, “What the fuck is Frackaroo?”
Melanie and I burst out laughing so hard I thought I might pee myself. We were both crying, laughing at the names that Mack and Brad had nicknamed us—Frick and Frack—which after a night of hardcore shots, turned the names into Fricker and Frackaroo.
Melanie started to try to tell the story, but only managed to get out, “Remember the alley after that frat party? And Brad tried to get Morgan to come back to his place?” We both started laughing harder remembering that night.
Then I added, “and then Mack was carrying you upside down and you started throwing up all over his back. It went down his underwear and when he put you down it trailed along his shoulder and …” and then I was laughing so hard I couldn’t finish the statement.
Melanie, still laughing, added in “then we fell into that puddle and were soaking wet and the guys were trying to get us to mud wrestle.”
Clark’s eyes lit up and he anxiously asked, “What? What happened then?”
Ignoring his question and continuing what little I could of the story, I could barely get out, “then Darrel jumped in to save us both and busted his tooth…and then…” We were literally on the ground rolling around like idiots laugh
ing. All three guys were still laughing, but more so at the two of us being idiots remembering some stupid story that made absolutely no sense to them.
We were lying next to each other on the floor staring at the ceiling, still laughing and wiping our tears from laughter. Our laughs died down and Melanie turned serious. She gazed over at me with real tears forming in her eyes and asked, “Why’d you leave me Iz? Why did you go off with him? How did I lose you to him? ‘Specially now that I know what he did to you?”
I felt real tears forming in my eyes and whispered, “I’m so sorry Melanie, I’m so so sorry. You were dating Allen. I was working all the time and felt so alone and scared. He took me to all these places and said I would never have to worry again and I…I just felt so alone.”
Melanie sat up quickly and burst out, “But you weren’t alone! You had me! ME!” Pointing to herself with her face scrunched up and angry, she was crying now uncontrollably. I cried as I sat up and shouted back, “No, I didn’t! You were always with Allen. Brad left and I had no one…I was all alone every night.”
Melanie yelled back, “Then you should have told me you felt that way! You’re like my sister. You were supposed to tell me what you were feeling!”
I cried out, “I just wanted to feel loved like Allen loved you…I had no one….and he told me he would be with me.”
“But he told you in the beginning he would never love you,” Melanie shot back at me.
“Fuck you,” I spat out. “I was taking what I could. I had no one, dammit…I had you for four years–we were always together and the second we graduated and got jobs, you and Allen were together and I barely saw you! I. Was. Alone…and…it sucked…it sucked so bad...” I was sobbing uncontrollably. I couldn’t stop my tears as I relived how it felt during that time. It was so lonely and scary worse than when my mother had died.
The guys were just standing there, watching us sitting on the floor crying and trying to work it out, but also stunned that we were just laughing a second ago and now in full tears.
Alluring Promises Box Set (Books 1-3) Page 14
