I looked up at him and snapped, “You are alone and will always be alone. You never let anyone in nor did you try to care about someone other than yourself. You will die alone, you selfish son of a bitch,” I said as I stood up. “And just remember, when you’re lying in your bed all alone when you’re old, no one ever loved you.”
“You were foolish enough to love me,” he sneered with another smirk.
“No, I was foolish enough to try to love you, but it never happened. What we had was just something sick.”
He stopped smirking, leaned in to my ear and whispered, “It may have been sick, but you were fucked like the whore that you are. And you were good.” He brushed by me knocking into my shoulder so I had to grasp the table for balance. I wanted to run after him and slap him, but I decided to just let him go and leave all of his shit behind me.
I watched him walk out the front of the restaurant. I was afraid to look at the paper. I glanced at it quickly like ripping a Band-Aid off and then looked at it more closely. It was some sort of deed. I looked closer to the address listed. It was the address to Allure. It was signed off to me. I now owned the building to Allure. Payment? I was nothing more than his whore for two years. A whore like my Mom. I was nothing better than what she was.
He was right. The thought made me sick.
I didn’t want it and I was just about to rip it up when I realized that he would still own Z’s bar if I tore it up. I immediately decided I would sign it over to Z and put it in the mail to him. That was the least I could do for all this mess. I wiped my tears, picked up my purse and started walking.
“Oh, Miss!” I heard and turned to see our waiter run toward me with the picture in his hand. “You forgot this.” I smiled politely and took it from him, not glancing and dropped it into my purse. “Thank you,” I replied meekly.
As I started toward the door, I saw a man coming toward me from the corner. “Matt?” He grabbed me by my arm tightly and pulled me over to the side.
I could see the anger in his face. “What the fuck are you doing with that guy?” He snapped at me.
I frowned wondering how long he had watched me having dinner with him. “It’s not what you think. We…we were saying goodbye.”
“Really?” He asked, his jaw was clenched tight just like Z did when he was angry.
“He left without me, didn’t he?” I insisted. He nodded realizing I had a point and lessened his grip on me.
“Z is on his way here.” His gaze returned to my face, his jaw still tight.
I inhaled deeply. “No...I can’t see him,” I stammered, shaking my head.
“Yes, you can and will.” He gritted through his teeth. I could tell I was going to lose this battle, but I still tried to convince him.
“No, you don’t understand. He hates me now and if he doesn’t have hate, it’ll be pity.” He gave me a look like I was crazy.
Just then the door swung open with force and in rushed a man with desperate, bloodshot eyes, crumpled clothes and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in a week. Well, more like three days. Our eyes met and he stared at me in disbelief. Seeing Z so distraught and broken, made my heart ache so badly. He stopped in front of me as if he didn’t believe I was real. His disbelief turned into relief as he grabbed me and pulled me into a tight hug.
“Izzy, my God baby, I’ve missed you so much. Why’d you leave me?” He didn’t release me as he held me so tight.
I wanted to melt into him because I knew this would be the last time he would hold me. I had to leave so he could find someone who he could truly love, instead of the pity I knew he felt for me.
I refrained from hugging him back as much as I could, but my tears came rolling down my cheeks. I found myself lifting my arms and wrapping them around him, feeling his strength that I missed so much. I caught a glimpse of Matt giving me a small smile as he walked outside.
“Baby, I’m so sorry for not being there for you. I should have held you after you told me about that night. Instead I was furious like some animal. Please. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me,” he whispered into my ear so fast as if he had to get it out or he would burst.
“I’m not mad at you, Z. I know why you got upset.” I buried my head further into his shoulder.
“Then why didn’t you answer any of my calls or my texts?” He asked me as he hugged me tighter.
“I had to have dinner with Pierce and I knew you wouldn’t let me, especially after what I told you.” He released me from his bear hug, but still held me by my waist, looking at me with apprehension.
“You could have called to tell me you were okay. I was so worried something bad happened. Or…that you left me.”
I looked away not knowing what to say. Because the truth is that he needs to know I am leaving him, but not because I don’t love him.
I felt him stiffen and then his strong hands came around each side of my face holding my head steady in place. He glared into my eyes and I could see the mistrustfulness rising up through him. He swallowed hard before asking in a tight voice, “Where were you for three days?”
I looked into his eyes and blinked back tears that were welling up in my eyes. “I stayed at a nearby hotel.”
I could see him grinding his jaw. “With McKnight?” He asked through gritted teeth.
I started to look away, but his hands tightened on my face forcing me to stare back into his eyes, “DO. NOT. LIE. TO. ME.” He enunciated each word with force and his eyes were full of fear, rage, and jealousy while they also pleaded with me.
My first thought was to tell him we had been together then he would be done with me, but I had promised him I would never cheat on him. Knowing how he had been hurt by other women he had trusted I just couldn’t do that to him. “No,” I whispered, tears welling in my eyes as I stared right into his. I couldn’t let him think for one moment I would be unfaithful to him, even while we were apart.
He sighed with relief and nodded his head, but there seemed to still be disbelief in his eyes. It hurt to see he might still think that of me, but I understood how he would feel that way.
“Here.” I held out the deed to hand it to him. Confusion swept across his face as he took the piece of paper.
“What’s this?” He looked down and read the deed. He shook his head still not understanding.
“That’s the reason I went to dinner tonight. The only reason.” His eyes shot back up to me looking at me as if he felt so sorry for disbelieving why I would have ever met with him. His eyes had that look, that pity, that feeling sorry for me look. “I never wanted to tell you what happened that last night. I never wanted to see the look you have in your eyes right now. I should have never told you.”
“What do I have in my eyes right now?” He asked me while searching my eyes for understanding.
My lips trembled as I said, “Pity. Feeling sorry for me.” A tear rolled down my check and I quickly swiped it away. Crying was just adding to the pity he was feeling for me now.
“After what you went through your entire life, I’d have to be a heartless son of a bitch not to feel a little bit of pain for what you’ve been through.” He grabbed my face again trying to make me understand as I shook my head, tears rolling down my cheek. His eyes were deep with love and pleading me to understand what he felt. “But I want to change all that. I want to be there for you, for all that you went through. I want to be with you forever, Izzy. I love you so much. Izzy, I promise.”
My lips trembled as I cringed and shrugged my shoulders. “Promises, promises.” I tried to look away, but his grip tightened on each side of my face bringing my eyes back to his again.
“Have I broken a promise to you yet?” He asked sternly.
“No, but this could be the first. You don’t love me; you only feel sorry for me. And I…I can’t have that.” I bit my lip trying to force the words to stay in me, but I couldn’t stop them from falling out of my mouth. “I love you so much.” I took a deep breath. “I want you to be happy and you can’t be happy wit
h me. You need to find someone who’s not broken like I am.” I tried to look away and pull myself from his hands holding my head in place.
He smiled sweetly. “You…you love me?” It was barely a whisper.
“Yes,” I whispered biting my lip, mad at myself because I needed to leave him…didn’t I? Did he not hear what I said after that? Did he not hear that he needs to find someone else? I tried to push away from him, but he held tighter. “We can’t be together Z. Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“Yeah, you said you love me,” he said smiling at me, his eyes excited and full of love.
Love for me.
I shook my head, trying make him understand why we can’t be together. Or was I trying to convince myself? “And that you can never be happy with me because I’m so broken.”
“You’re not broken, Izzy. You just got dealt a shit hand.” He whispered into my hair, “You’ve always been able to bounce back and this time I’m there to help you, and every time after that. You’re never leaving me again, no matter how hard you try. I. Love. You.”
I bit my lip and my tears came…uncontrollably. I looked back up into his eyes and they were full of love. Love just for me.
Finally, someone actually loved me.
EPILOGUE
Z
WE ARRIVED at the side door for Allure and I opened it, letting her walk in first. I flipped on a few lights and she turned on some music. “I thought you didn’t like to do this? Cuts into profits?” She teased flirtatiously while smirking at me.
I smiled. “I never had a hot girl I’m in love with to do this with. Not to mention, make it worthwhile.” She giggled. I will never tire of that giggle.
“Rack ‘em up, baby,” I said to her as I grabbed a couple of beers from behind the bar. I watched her walk over to the first pool table, glad she picked the right one. I made sure all the balls were already on the table but just needed to be racked. My heart raced a mile a minute and I tried so hard to remain calm. I took a quick drink hoping it would help calm my nerves. Nope. Didn’t work. Might need a couple beers at this rate.
“You want me to break or do you want to,” she asked, smirking.
I laughed knowing if she broke I’d never get a shot; however, I didn’t care either way. Though, on second thought, my hands were shaking so badly. “You go ahead. I love watching you play.” I smirked and winked at her.
She bit her lip and strutted over to me as I sat on a bar stool. Kissing me, she giggled and said, “Okay, but no messing around like Matt did to me that night. Keep your stick to yourself.” She smiled looking down at my crotch. It took everything I had not to grab her and just throw her onto the pool table. Hopefully later.
She walked back and took aim. Crack! That was close. I was relieved none of the balls went into the left corner pocket. Of course, she still got one into the right corner pocket. I took a sip of my beer and let out a deep breath; I hadn’t realized I had been holding my breath. She called stripes and leaned over to take a shot, “left side pocket” and made it. She called each one, making each one. None were lined up for left corner pocket. She took her last shot “left corner pocket,” she called. I took a deep breath and she nailed it, of course. “I bet you couldn’t do that shot again, from this angle.” I pointed my cue stick to an angle that would make it a pretty tough shot.
“Do you doubt me?” She teased.
I smiled. “I’m just saying that’s a tough angle and you probably couldn’t make it.”
She laughed, shaking her head as if I were crazy. “I can and I will, thank you!”
I took a deep breath as she walked over to the left corner pocket to reach in for the ball. I watched her reaction as she felt it. Her eyes pulled together as if confused. She pulled the ball out and looked down at the pocket. “Oh my gosh!” She pulled the ring out and exclaimed, “Someone lost their engagement ring!”
My heart raced as I slowly walked over to her. It took everything I had to walk slowly. I took it from where she held it in between her fingers and put it up to the light. “Wow, I wonder how that would have happened,” I said as I held it up to the light, letting her look at its sparkle from the pool table light. I glanced back at her and went down on one knee. “I bet it would look gorgeous on your finger.”
She looked at me completely confused, but then realized I was down on one knee as I reached for her left hand. I kissed her hand softly and looked up at her sparkling eyes that now were smiling in hopes of what was about to happen.
“Izzy, the day you walked into this bar, I knew you were the one for me.” I slid the ring on her finger and smiled up at her. “Make me the happiest man alive and spend the rest of your life with me. Would you please be my wife?”
Tears streamed down her face as she looked at me lovingly, nodding her head. “Yes, absolutely, yes!”
“AND DO you Zander Jeremy Williams, take Izzy Marie McKenna to be your lawful, wedded wife?”
“I promise.” My heart swelled with incredible love for the woman before me as she mouthed “Promises, Promises” to me with laughing eyes. I smiled but shook my head. “I promise,” I said again interrupting the reverend as he said, “To have…” Izzy giggled and bit her lip, tears welling up in her eyes. It took everything I had not to kiss her right then. I wanted to seal my promise to her with a kiss.
The reverend cleared his throat and continued, “To have and to hold, from this day forward, in sickness and in health, ‘til you both part in death.”
“I. Promise.” I enunciated each word, making her giggle again. I didn’t wait for the reverend to tell me to kiss the bride. I couldn’t wait to seal my promise. I grabbed her and kissed her with all the passion I had for my wife. I heard the reverend continue, while he laughed, “I now pronounce you Husband and Wife.” Continuing to laugh, I heard him add, “NOW you may kiss the bride.” It didn’t matter. I didn’t need him to tell me when I could kiss my wife. MY WIFE. I repeated that over and over again in my head.
As we turned to face family and our friends, I felt proud and excited. Izzy had insisted on a small wedding in the backyard of my parent’s house and I made sure there wasn’t traditional seating, as she had no family for her side. Well, actually, now she had a family. I was thrilled I could give her something so meaningful that she never had, but always would, from this day forward.
IZZY and I walked over to where Mel and Flynn were standing and were attempting to sign the enlarged photo with a border. We chose to use the photo instead of a guest registry so we could hang it at our house. As much as I was pissed that Izzy really had been followed by her sick ex, I couldn’t have been happier when I saw the picture that fell out of her purse one day. It was an amazing shot of Izzy and me; with her head looking down, giggling at something I had said to her. Sunlight shone through her gorgeous dirty blonde hair, making it lighter than it actually was. Her eyes filled with happiness as I gazed lovingly at her, smiling. My head tilted slightly from whatever I was telling her. My eyes were filled with all the true love that I felt for her and always would.
Mel and Flynn were laughing hysterically, Mel with the pen in her hand. “What are you two up to?” I asked, laughing because they looked so mischievous.
“Mel was just about to write ‘Mel made this happen!’ all over the frame.” Flynn told me while chuckling, trying to grab the pen from Mel’s hand.
I chuckled, noticing Mel had way too much to drink as she gave up the pen to Flynn. Then Mel grabbed Izzy from behind, giving her a huge hug while hanging onto Izzy’s back. “I wasn’t going to, Flynn wanted to do that!” She tried to place blame on my buddy.
I laughed. “Just remember that your wedding is coming up next year and it’ll be Izzy and my turn to write stuff on your border!”
“Yeah, not to mention my turn to throw your bachelorette party too,” Izzy added in, laughing a bit too much at their private joke.
“Do not start that fight again.” Flynn glared at Izzy, whose mouth dropped open.
“I’m no
t starting anything, but I do not understand how you two could get so jealous about our party when Clark and Matt, the biggest skirt chasers alive, threw your bachelor party!”
I rolled my eyes at Izzy for even bringing it up. The guys and me were having a great time. Of course they bought me a couple of lap dances, which was fun. Until Matt brought up the fact that Izzy was probably getting one from a guy at her bachelorette party. Yeah, drunk Z wasn’t thinking too straight. Although I wasn’t alone in that either as Flynn decided I had the best idea ever to go spy on the girls. Sandy should have never answered my text, telling me which bar they were at. Izzy was hustling pool and the guy was hanging all over her when we walked in. A bar brawl is probably not what the girls had in mind for their bachelorette party.
Mel wrapped her arms around Flynn and kissed his cheek, making that cute pout she does. “We’re not going to talk about that night anymore.” He turned to kiss her fully on the lips and I started to wonder if they were going to leave our reception before my bride and me.
Clark came up behind Mel and grabbed her, breaking their kiss as he laughed. “What is it with you two couples? You don’t believe in getting rooms?”
Mel giggled. “Oh please! I’ve noticed Tina has been staying over a lot more than any other girl has been allowed to.”
Clark chuckled as he spread his arms out wide. “She’s not with me here! She’s just my latest booty call. I’m still single! I’m still playing the field!”
Matt walked over and grabbed Clark’s neck from behind. “Come on wingman; there’s a hot blonde at the bar who has a friend. I need you, man!” Clark glanced back at the bar and rolled his eyes. “Sorry buddy, I already tapped her several weeks ago. She’s a regular at the bar.”
Alluring Promises Box Set (Books 1-3) Page 30
