“I…I don’t think that’s going to…”
“No…really. Hear me out.” He clasped his hands together and brought one to his mouth, thinking things through. “We’ll just date each other. We’ll get to know each other again. It can work, Vanessa.”
I shook my head again, hoping he would understand that wasn’t the problem. “Charles, we can’t. We just need to completely…”
He held out his finger stopping me from speaking any further as he tried to make his point. “You’ll see, Vanessa. You’ll fall in love with me all over again.” He pulled me into a hug and kissed the top of my head. “We’ll take more time to think things through and just date each other. It’ll work out, Vanessa. I promise you.” He kissed my lips gently and then pulled back with a determined look on his face. “I love you so much, Vanessa. I’m not giving up on us.” He turned and walked to his car.
I stood there stunned, watching him walk away from me, unsure of what he was going to do. Wanting to tell him again that it wouldn’t work, but I felt like I had tried that whole time to tell him.
All I could do was nod. I wanted to finalize this, but he was just so insistent. Deep down I knew I really did love him. Maybe he was right. Maybe he could make me fall in love with him all over again. I started to feel that maybe I did owe it to him after all these years to let him try.
I SAT on Matt’s couch later that evening staring at the TV. I was still trying to figure out what happened with Charles earlier. I was still wondering how we really left it. Were we actually broken up? I think we were, but I couldn’t figure out what he meant by date each other. Or how he was going to “make me love him.”
“You seem a bit…distant. Is everything alright?” Matt asked me as he flipped through channels, quickly glancing at me. He sat in the corner and pulled me onto his lap so I could rest my head on his chest.
“Huh? Yeah. Oh yeah. Everything is fine. How was…how was dinner tonight?”
“It was good. We missed you though. We had a full on conversation about the policy at work.”
He continued talking and I completely faded out. Charles is such a fantastic person. Why would I leave that? For Matt who doesn’t seem to know what he wants? Wasn’t it just this morning that he waved off being romantic? Well sort of. His actions always seemed to be romantic, but he wouldn’t claim to be, right? I know that if I asked Charles to be more romantic, he would be. He would do anything for me. I mean that’s what every woman wants, right?
“Vanessa?” I heard Matt say somewhere in the distance. I turned my head to look up to him. His brows were pulled together as he gazed at me, concerned. “You alright?”
“I’m sorry. What did you say?”
“Did your parents upset you today? What’d they say to you?”
Thoughts of our relationship began to pepper my mind. What were we doing? What was my relationship with Matt? I turned around and got onto my knees beside him on the couch. “Matt. What…what is this between us?” I asked in all seriousness. Was I choosing between the two, right now? Charles said he’d give me more time. More time for what though? Did I want to be with him?
“What do you mean ‘between us’?” Matt shook his head in confusion.
“You and me. We escalated it above friends with benefits status to exclusive, right? But what is that?”
“I...don’t understand.” He looked at me warily and turned up the corner of his mouth. “You’re kind of scaring me, Vanessa. Are you wanting a ring right now or something like that?”
“No!” That was the last thing I wanted right now. “I just…I want to know…what…how do you feel about me?”
He looked like he was struggling to form words as his eyes glanced around the room. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair before looking back at me. “I thought we already discussed this. I mean, we can’t do anything more because of your policy.”
Was that the only thing keeping us from going further? Did it matter to Matt how fast we had taken things? No. All that mattered was my decision with Charles — the decision Matt still doesn’t know I’m trying to make. It was all me because with Matt we could take it as slow as we wanted until he moved back to outside sales. Moved back to Atlanta. And then what would happen between us? I was back at square one.
I was worrying Matt for nothing. I flashed a fake smile. “I’m sorry.” I told him as I shook my head feeling stupid. “I shouldn’t have brought it up. It is what it is with us. You’re right. The policy is sort of holding us up.”
“Holding us up from what?”
“Nothing.”
“No, you started this conversation. Where do you see us going, Vanessa?”
“I…” I swallowed as I continued my pressed smile. “I like where we are.”
Matt smiled and leaned in for a long kiss. He pulled back and grinned. “Good, because I like where we are too.”
I PULLED up to the airport departure curb and put my car in park. Matt looked over at me, smiling.
“You’re gonna miss me, aren’t you?” He asked teasingly. I hated to admit it, but he was right.
“Nah. I’ve got so much to catch up on at work. You seem to take a lot of my time. You’re so needy,” I teased him. He chuckled and leaned over, taking both my cheeks in his hands. His lips pressed against mine for that soft kiss he does so well. I am so going to miss him. It’s only three days. I tried to remind myself.
He pulled back and tilted his head slightly, still smiling. “I can admit it.” His eyes dipped down to my lips and then back to my eyes, “I’m gonna miss you.” His soft voice sent shivers up my spine.
I bit my lip and smiled. “Yeah?” I asked in a hopeful manner. Was he really going to miss me or was he just saying that?
He shook his head slightly. “You have no idea what you’ve been doing to me all these months. Between the teasing and giving in, I don’t want to let you go.”
I swear my heart felt like it had a mind of its own the way it was fluttering. Did he really feel that way about me in such a short time? “I don’t want you to go,” I admitted, to both him and myself. I was wondering if we were talking about just his trip or maybe about our relationship.
“What if I have a surprise for you?” He teased with a smile.
I pulled back to look at his eyes that now looked serious. My eyes lit up with excitement. “What kind of surprise?”
“Check your inbox when I’m on the plane and then go home and pack your bags. I’ll see you in a couple of days.” With that he pecked my lips with a quick kiss and opened the passenger door. He grabbed his bag out from the back seat and blew me a kiss, throwing a wink my way as he closed the door.
I watched him walk through the glass doors into the airport and then quickly grabbed my phone. A text from him rang out.
Matt: You just couldn’t wait another second to check, could you?
I giggled as a policeman approached my car, signaling that I needed to move from the drop off area. Darn it. I wasn’t going to be able to check my email just yet.
I pulled forward and started to approach the exit when another text rang out. It was so hard not to glance at my phone, but texting and driving isn’t my thing, especially since I can barely chew gum and walk at the same time. I drove to the next exit off the expressway and pulled into a gas station, eager to check my inbox and what he just wrote to me.
Matt: Did you see it yet?
Me: Just pulled off to a gas station to check. Hang on.
I quickly checked my inbox and noticed an email from an airline. I opened it noting he purchased a ticket to the same city he was going for his seminar, but after the seminar ended. We would spend the weekend in Atlanta. His “party” home. My heart that was just moment ago beating fast with excitement, now plummeted with dread. Nerves shot through me as I thought about meeting his friends and I was pretty sure I’d meet women he’s been with. We haven’t been together that long. Why did it feel like we were going so fast?
Matt: I’m about to board my pla
ne. Did you look?
Me: Yes, I saw. Atlanta?
Matt: My stompin’ ground, Gorgeous. I want to show you off.
I swallowed not knowing what to write back. He must have known as another text popped on my screen.
Matt: Stop being nervous. I promise we’ll have a good time.
Me: Yay! Can’t wait! I lied. A pit formed in my stomach and I realized this might actually be the end of our relationship. Which, for my job, might be a good thing.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Matt
I ARRIVED at “my” airport in Atlanta. Taking a look around, I realized I didn’t really miss this place as much as I thought I would. Thinking back to how miserable I thought I would be, I realized maybe it was really Vanessa that made the move so easy. Well, sort of. Although she wasn’t that easy going in the beginning, she did divert my attention from the move.
Would I move back after I finish the job I’m supposed to do? Did I want to go back to outside sales? I loved traveling and venturing into other cities. Sometimes it was a pain and I did tire of packing all the time; however, meeting all the different people, especially women, was really the benefit. I have Vanessa now, at least I sort of do. I mean, we didn’t declare love or anything silly like that, but I really do enjoy being with her.
The weeks had flown by since we declared we were going to be “exclusive friends with benefits,” or something a little bit more than that. We didn’t discuss the issue any further, but had spent every waking moment together. For the most part, we tried not to eat lunch together so we wouldn’t start any rumors. I tried my best not to instant message her, knowing our IT guy was as much of a gossip as most of the girls in our office are. We kept our “messages” to ourselves by texting to each other on our phones.
At night we would either grab dinner at a busy restaurant or take it home. Those were the best because take-home meals usually turned into half eaten meals and we ended up in bed together.
The second we’d get home from work, we couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Helping each other change out of our clothes was my favorite after work activity. We mostly spent time at Vanessa’s apartment since Aubrey was still in San Antonio.
The people at work noticed a change in Vanessa, that’s for sure. I had several people come up to me asking if Vanessa has a new boyfriend. The comments that pissed me off were about how her fiancé and her must be hitting it harder. I always made sure to point out that she doesn’t have a ring on her finger and told them I was pretty sure that they’re broken up. Like hell if her ex was going to take credit for any of the happiness I knew I was giving her.
Kara was tough. Knowing how she’s seen us out at Allure and several times eating lunch or dinner together on numerous occasions, I was pretty sure she had put it together. I’ve caught her more than once glaring at us from across the bar. The toughest was when she directly asked me if we were dating. I denied it completely, of course. I’m still not quite sure if she believed me. I was able to change her mood by asking how she and her boyfriend were getting along.
When it’s good, it’s good with Vanessa, but there are times when I get that menacing feeling deep down; the one I try to push away, knowing it’s just from being hurt so bad by Stephanie.
Vanessa had a really rough time with her parents one Sunday and point blank asked me where I see things going with us. I was glad she told me she enjoyed just “being” with me, but I couldn’t help but wonder if she really wanted something more. Not that I wouldn’t give it to her, but her policy was holding us back from being able to just do silly stuff like hold hands in public. I know that’s more of a couples thing, but like I said I couldn’t keep my hands off her.
Later that same day we talked about trying to make sure we don’t get sick of each other. We talked about having little breaks from one another so that we didn’t tire our relationship and make sure we’d still stay individuals. We decided that Wednesdays we’d go hang out with friends separately so that we didn’t fall into that trap.
Sundays she would continue to have brunches with her parents. I kept asking if I should come to those to help ward off some of the negative attention she gets from her parents, but she insisted she do this alone. That hurt, considering I see how upset she is every time she comes home from that.
I agreed that we need time by ourselves. The bottom could drop out at any point in time and then where would I be? What if we broke up and hated each other, but still had to see each other at the office other every single day like we do now? I couldn’t take that, so I definitely agreed that we needed time to do our own thing.
This trip might help out with that too. As I flew down here I started remembering how much I loved traveling for sales. I loved flying to different cities and exploring each city on my down time. Yep, as soon as my stint was over, I would go back to outside sales regardless of my relationship with Vanessa. Hell, it might even make us stronger — unless she had some guy on the side for when I left town. Where the hell did that thought come from? I shook my head knowing that thought was insecurity from Stephanie. Vanessa was not Stephanie and I wasn’t going to think things like that.
I arrived at my hotel and immediately got a text from Alex. I couldn’t wait to meet up with my best friend again and get down to our old bar so we could hang out.
I changed quickly, headed down there and walked in, seeing Cassie and her gorgeous blue eyes immediately. She ran up to me and threw her arms around my neck, giving me the biggest hug and kiss on my cheek. Holding her felt great and I assumed my old feelings for her would return. She was always fantastic in bed and also a sweetheart to talk to. Her southern accent used to get me hard immediately. Now I felt Cassie was my sister or something weird like that.
“Oh my God, Matt! I missed ya so much!” Her southern drawl made me smile as I looked into her beautiful eyes. She was smiling from ear to ear as she pulled back, searching my eyes as she asked, “Why didn’t you call me and tell me you were comin’ down? I had to hear it from that asshole?” She threw her arm over to Alex, who had just stood up and headed toward me.
Alex’s jet-black hair was cut shorter than I remembered as he shook my hand and gave me a half hug. Cassie stood off to the side, smiling happily. “Mother fucker! How ya been Matt,” he boomed.
“Good,” I replied smiling as Cassie gave me a pat on the back and headed toward the bar. I was pretty sure she still remembered what I drank considering I never gave her my order. I walked over to the table where Alex just stood up from and grabbed a seat, as did he. His jade eyes were bright as he shook his head.
“Maaatt,” he exclaimed as he sat back in his chair. “How’re they treating you up there?”
I smiled. “I can’t complain,” I told him as I thought about Vanessa. Cassie came back with my beer and sat down next to me, probably ignoring other customers that might want her attention. It didn’t matter. The owner of the bar was madly in love with her and would never fess up. Cassie could do no wrong in his eyes. I always kept my “friendship” with Cassie a secret from him.
“Are ya gonna be staying with me while you’re in town?” Cassie asked with a hopeful smile.
Shit. Here goes nothing. “Umm. Actually, I kind of met someone, Cassie.” Her smile dropped and I glanced over at Alex. He knew about Vanessa from all our talks, but I didn’t tell him about our recent exclusive agreement.
“Who is she?” Cassie asked with a worried expression, jetting out her bottom lip.
“Well, she works for my company up there and,” I smiled trying to figure out how to explain Vanessa. “She’s nice. You’d actually really like her, Cassie.” I wasn’t sure what else to say. What do you say to your old friends with benefits when talking about your new…wow. Was Vanessa really my girlfriend now? Hmm. I kind of like the way that sounded actually, but didn’t say it out loud.
Cassie looked at me and tilted her head. Her smile returned, but her eyes were still sad. “If she makes you happy, Matt, then I’m happy for ya. S
he better treat you right or I’ll kick her ass.” She smiled and swatted at me with the dish rag she keeps in her apron.
“I’ll let her know,” I said with a smile as she leaned in and gave me a kiss on my cheek and then sauntered back to the bar.
Alex called after her, “Now maybe you’ll finally give me a chance!”
She turned her head, laughing as she yelled back, “Fat chance!” I chuckled as I turned back to Alex.
“So, exclusive, huh?” He asked as he shook his head.
I pressed my lips together and nodded. “Yep.”
“Another one bites the dust,” he joked as he took a drink from his beer, smiling at me.
Yep. I smiled back at him and nodded my head.
I WALKED BACK to my hotel after having several rounds of drinks with Alex going over good times we’ve had. We discussed if I was coming back to Atlanta after my year up there was over. I told him I still wasn’t sure and everything seemed up in the air as of right now. Anything could happen from now until then. Although I loved Atlanta, I wasn’t sure if Vanessa would want to move down here. I’m sure she could find a job quickly. Or I could just get back into outside sales and travel from up there. Either way was looking good to me. I smiled as I realized both scenarios included Vanessa.
THE CONFERENCE WENT underway and although I met some pretty cool people, I was also anxious for it to be over. I couldn’t wait to see Vanessa again, so I texted her throughout the day. Well, really throughout the seminars, giving her play-by-plays, mostly of what I would do to her sexy body—nothing to do with the conference at all.
Even though I was wiped out that first night, Vanessa and I were able to video chat on our phones for quite some time; actually, a long while. Turns out that phone sex is even better using FaceTime. Vanessa seems to be just as adventurous long distance. Thinking that made me feel better about possibly traveling again. Especially if we could do the stuff that we did on FaceTime.
The next day was the same, only this time I was caught off guard by Vanessa’s mentor, Evelyn being there. She must have arrived that morning and she approached me during the lunch break. She seemed like she was dressed to kill. Her hair was down in soft curls, cascading around her shoulders. Her suit was a little racier than she typically wore. It was cut in a little more and the slit on her skirt was slightly more provocative. She must have went out and purchased brand new skirts. She also didn’t hesitate to make sure she invaded my personal space even further when she spoke with me.
Alluring Promises Box Set (Books 1-3) Page 69
