I quickly pick up the last of the glass, and chasing after him, I retrieve the photo.
“Are you cut badly?” I ask quietly, placing the photo on the bench top.
“No, I’m fine. I just need a Band-Aid,” he growls, moving past me. His eyes drift toward the photo and his brow deeply furrows. He opens a drawer and pulls out a box of Band-Aids, fumbling with the packaging as he tries to stem the flow of blood from his finger.
“Here, let me,” I offer, taking the box from his hand and removing a strip of plasters. As I peel the paper away and wrap it around his finger, neither of us speaks. All is quiet except for the sound of our breathing. I feel the wet tips of his freshly washed hair brush lightly on the top of my head as he leans forward, watching me. As I finish, I look up at him and meet his eyes. He’s so close that I can smell his soap and shampoo, and I find myself wishing he wasn’t wearing the fitted black t-shirt he’s now put on.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, keeping his eyes locked on mine.
For the moment I’ve forgotten about the photo, I’m still holding his finger, smoothing my thumb over the plaster strip I applied as we just… stare. I can’t work him out. There’s something about him that’s drawing me to him, even though he’s trying to keep me away.
He’s the first to move. He pulls his hand away from mine and turns to collect the protective wrapping from the Band-Aid. He walks it to the garbage bin, scrunching it up small and dropping it inside on top of what’s left of the photo frame.
He then turns to face me, the island bench with the photo on top of it sitting between us, causing this tension that’s demanding our attention, like there’s an elephant in the room.
Stepping forward, I pick up the photo, and lean against the bench opposite him while I study the image and then read the writing from the back out loud.
“Classically Modern Concert. November 2007. Theo, Naomi, Marcus, Christy, and Damien.” I look up at him, his eyes seem to darken as he folds his arms protectively over his chest and holds my gaze in his. “This is why you’re angry with me all the time?” I step toward him, holding the photo for him to see. “Is this you?” I ask, pointing to the boy I always thought was named Aramis.
He nods once, a nod so small, I barely see it, but it’s there.
I release my breath, it’s like I’ve been slapped across the face. “You’re Aramis?” I whisper. Tears springing to my eyes as I realise that the man I tried so desperately to contact all those years ago is standing right in front of me. Suddenly, all the anger he’s directed toward me makes sense – he obviously regrets that night as much as I do.
“Obviously, I grew out of my Goth faze,” he says, giving me a lopsided grin as he reaches for the photo and takes it from my hands.
“Oh my god! What the hell Theo?!” I shout, suddenly feeling pissed off at him for being so secretive. “So, you’ve been angry with me because I didn’t remember you were Aramis? A boy who had pitch black hair and wore a massive amount of black make up and facial jewellery to school every day? A boy who hid out in the music room, and didn’t go by the same name as you?” I list accusingly, pointing my finger at him as my anger toward him rises. As I talk, I move forward, until I’m standing in front of him and poking him in the chest – his very firm chest I might add.
He closes his hand over mine and holds it firmly in place. “No. I’m angry because you don’t remember when I told you who I was. When I removed the makeup and spent a whole night making out with you. I’m angry at you for throwing yourself at me. I said no by the way, because you’d been drinking and I didn’t want to be that guy. I’m angry that I put you in a bed to sleep it off, and when I went to get you some water, I came back to find you, naked, and in bed with my brother. My brother Naomi. I’m angry that I meant so little to you. I’m angry that I hated my brother for almost a year after that. That because of you, I have a knuckle that will never go back into place because I punched my own brother in the face – because of you,” he growls, close to my face.
My mouth is open in shock as I hear the tirade spill from his lips. Tears form in my eyes as blood pumps through my ears at a horrendous volume. I shake my head, and squeeze my eyes tight, not wanting to hear anymore. “That’s not fair,” I gasp. “I don’t remember any of that night.” A tear escapes my eye and slides its way down my cheek. Theo reaches up and cups the side of my face, the warmth of his hand causing me to lean toward it as he brushes the tear away with his thumb.
His voice drops down to almost a whisper as he continues. “What I’m most angry about, is how he took advantage of you and then dumped you. I’m angry that you came when he called. That you still look at him like you’d let him do it again. And I’m angry that he’s been with you, when I wanted you for myself.”
I stare at him wide eyed. I don’t know what to say. He’s caught me completely off guard here. I had no idea – no idea that he was Aramis. And I have no recollection of that party at all. Beyond arriving and having those drinks, I don’t remember a thing besides waking up naked next to Marcus the next morning.
That’s when it dawned on me.
“Oh my god! You’ve seen me naked too!” I yell, shoving against his chest. He just looks at me without replying, but I know the answer. My hands slide into my hair as I pace the floor in front of him, my agitation zinging through my body like I’ve just drank ten cups of coffee. I don’t know what to do, pacing isn’t helping, so I stop, and look at Theo, trying to figure out something I should say or do in this situation. But I come up empty. Instead, I just pick up my bag and head straight for the door. I hear him call out my name, but I don’t turn around.
Focusing on making it to the door of my car, I ready my keys, taking off from Theo’s driveway as quick as I can. As I reverse out of the driveway, he’s standing in the middle of it with his hands on his hips, watching me take off.
Straightening my car in the street, I pause for a moment and look at him. “Good bye Theo,” I say quietly. I’m not planning on returning. As much as I love playing with the band, I just can’t do this. I can’t be a part of a band that has two men who have seen me naked. One of whom slept with me and dumped me, and one who made out with me right before I slept with his brother. What’s worse is I don’t remember any of it, and I’m absolutely mortified as a result. I just need this over or that fucking party is going to haunt me forever.
Besides, bartending isn’t that bad. I can handle working a bar for the rest of my life… can’t I?
Chapter 14
Naomi
“Aren’t you supposed to be at rehearsal tonight? I thought you swapped shifts with Dave,” Kylie asks, as I join her behind the bar and start to help with setup.
“Nope. Change of plans,” I tell her. The truth is, yes, I should be at rehearsal, but after finding out that Theo is Aramis, I’m just too embarrassed to face him.
While I’m glad the rumours about me having sex with both Aramis and Marcus on the same night aren’t true, I still made a fool of myself. I still led one guy on and then slept with another. I don’t blame Theo for hating me. Walking in on me and Marcus in bed would have been horrible.
The thought of facing them again freaks the shit out of me. I mean, it was bad enough when Theo was just brooding around me all the time and making occasional comments. But now that I know exactly what his problem is – it’s so much worse. I feel like a walking joke. I’ve thrown myself at both of them and at the crux of it – neither of them want me. Marcus took me, he used me, and cast me aside. Theo looks at me as used goods.
I guess it’s a good thing. Relationships aren’t any good for the band’s dynamics but I just wish that none of it had ever happened. I mean two out of the four guys in there have seen me naked and off my face – how mortifying!
I could get over it all with Marcus, while I was always interested in him. He was never really that interested in me. I think he just saw an opportunity for a fuck and he took it. I can handle that.
But Aramis… I mean, The
o, he wasn’t the type of guy who hooked up with a girl at a party for the fun of it. The fact that we made out would have meant something to him. If I’m honest, it would have been a big deal for me too… if only I could remember it. And I really liked him too. I felt like I could see who he was beyond all that makeup. Obviously I was wrong. I had no idea it was Theo underneath all the makeup and the piercings.
God, I hate myself. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – I wish I never went to that party.
***
Marcus
I attempt to ring Naomi for the ninth time in a row and she’s still not picking up. “What the fuck did you say to her?” I demand of Theo. “You were the last one of us to see her.”
“Maybe she just doesn’t want to be in a band so she can watch you fuck around with other girls every night,” he returns.
“Fuck you Theo. She’s a big girl. She knows the deal,” I spit back, annoyed at him for being so high and mighty. Just because he doesn’t want to take advantage of all the hot girls out there, doesn’t mean the rest of us have to live like we’re priests.
“Maybe you could tone it down a little around her man,” puts in Jack. “She had a thing for you all through high school, and everyone knows you slept with her then dumped her. It’s not cool to pick up chicks in front of her.”
“Whatever,” I grumble, huffing out my breath and running my hand roughly over my hair as I try to ignore that little tinge of guilt that niggles inside of me. Unsuccessful, I decide to change the subject instead. “Well, we need her here. She’s our fucking ticket to the big league.”
“What do you mean?” asks Lachlan.
“Well, I wanted to wait until we were all together, but I may as well tell you now. I uploaded a clip of us playing ‘It’s a Crime’ to YouTube and it’s gone nuts. I got a call with an offer to support Radio Silence on their Australian tour next month, and if she’s not in, then we don’t have a deal. This is big guys. We need her back.”
“Why the hell did they call you?” Theo asks, normally all gig offers go through him.
“Um. Because I’m awesome,” I state, widening my eyes comically. Although, the contact came through to me because I was the one behind the video.
“Whatever,” Theo says, rolling his eyes. “But if we need Naomi that badly, I’ll take a ride and talk to her.”
“No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure you’re the reason she isn’t here today. You haven’t exactly been nice to her.” I snatch the keys to his motorbike from his hands.
“Ah, no you don’t,” he says, snatching them back.
“I’ll tell you what - we’ll rock, paper, scissors for it,” I challenge, staring Theo in the eye defiantly.
“Fine,” he agrees, holding out his hand next to mine in preparation – there’s no decision or argument in this world that a good rock off can’t fix. “I’ll call it – ready, go.”
We bounce our fists in the air, the required three times. Theo holds his hand flat for paper. I simply turn my hand upward, and extend my middle finger in the ‘fuck you’ sign and snatch the keys back as I do. Theo is quick though, and he gives me a slap upside my head for playing unfairly. Earning a roar of laughter for Lachlan and Jack.
“You’re a fuckwit. Give them back and do it properly,” he demands.
“Not a chance,” I say, moving them out of his reach as he goes to grab them. “I’m going to talk to her. You’ve done enough.”
Theo folds his arms over his chest, looking at the blank wall as he grumpily concedes defeat.
“Just don’t crash my bike or you’re a dead man,” he calls after me as I head out the door.
***
Naomi
We’ve only just opened, so there are really only a handful of people milling around the bar. They’re the ones who like to get drunk before it’s time to get on the dance floor. Then they all let loose, dancing like monkeys undergoing electric shock therapy.
“What can I get you?” I ask, as my next customer comes to the front of the line. The self-assured smile is there, but I can see a little doubt in Marcus’s eyes as he stands before me. I wonder if he knows what happened with Theo.
“What are you doing here? We waited for you for over an hour,” he says over the music.
“I’m not here,” I yell back. “I’m just a figment of your imagination. In fact, you’ve been imagining me this whole time. I’m not even a real person.”
“Come on Naomi,” he returns, completely ignoring my sarcastic tone. “I’m just here to talk to you.”
“Maybe I don’t want to talk to you. Do you want a drink or are you just wasting my time?” I state, hands on my hips as I look at him pointedly.
“Why didn’t you come to rehearsal?” he asks, still ignoring my avoidance techniques.
“Because you and your brother are jerks. I don’t want to be in a band with either of you.”
“Why? What did he do?” he asks, moving to the side as other patrons come to the bar and order.
I focus on them for long enough to take their orders and pour their drinks. Slapping down their change in front of them as I turn my attention back to Marcus.
“It was both of you. You and your stupid flirting. Him and his stupid anger issues. I just don’t need this shit in my life. I have a job. I don’t need the band.”
“What? Working in a bar?” he says, gesturing his arms at my place of work. “Yeah. I can see you’re really talented.”
“It pays the bills. There’s no shame in that,” I retort.
“Naomi, we’ve got this great offer for a gig and we need you. Is there somewhere we can talk – please?”
Placing my hands on my hips, I glare at him. At his handsome face, and his pleading eyes. Then I look around at the nightclub. At the patrons milling about drinking, at the two girls who are the only dancers on the floor. Then I return my gaze to Marcus. The life he offers is so alluring. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to get past all of the emotional baggage that seems to be coming with it.
I walk over to Kylie and ask her to keep an eye on things for me, before beckoning Marcus to follow me into the staff room with a flick of my head.
“This is cosy,” he smiles as he enters the tiny room and looks around. “Do you think your friend thinks we’re in here doing…”
I don’t give him the chance to finish, instead spinning around and pointing an accusatory finger at him. “Why didn’t you ever tell me that Aramis was your brother?” I demand.
“What?” he laughs, stepping back, only managing to press himself against the door of the two metre square room.
“Aramis. You know? The name Theo used to call himself when he was all Goth boy in high school. Why didn’t you ever say he was your brother?”
“Um, because it was embarrassing. As if I was going to admit that the freaky Goth guy was my brother. I mean – Goth wasn’t even fashionable then. He was like – the only one. No one knew he was my brother. I hid it from everyone.”
“Well you’ve made me look like a fool!”
“Really? How did I do that?”
“By not telling me! I had no idea!”
“Well, I thought you did. You’re the one who was making out with him at that party. You got him to take all of his makeup off and I’m sure he told you his name, because you were rambling to me that you met my brother when I found you.”
“I don’t even remember that party! All I know is that I got completely wasted and slept with a guy I swore I’d never sleep with because he dumps the girls he screws. And now, because of that, your brother hates me, and he doesn’t want me in the band.”
“What? He said that?”
“Yes, he told me he’s angry with me for not remembering making out with him, and he’s angry with you for sleeping with me.”
“Shit, he’s still going on about that?”
“Yeah. I think we pissed him off.”
“Um… about that night. You might have your story a bit messed up,” h
e tells me, sheepishly rubbing at the back of his neck.
“Really? How did I do that? I woke up next to you – naked, and then you gave me the ‘let’s be friends’ speech.”
“No I didn’t”
“Yes, you did”
“No, I was actually trying to tell you not to worry – that we didn’t sleep together. But you were in such a hurry to get out of there that you refused to listen to me. You cut me off, said we were cool and that you knew – so I thought you did know.”
“Wait? We didn’t sleep together?”
“No,” he laughs, before lowering his tone and stepping closer to me. “Not that I didn’t want to. But, I would never do that to you. You were always more to me than that.”
My breath catches as I look up into his eyes, his hair falling forward as he tilts his head to look at me. In this enclosed space, he’s right on top of me.
“Then why is Theo so angry with you over it?” I ask, placing my shaking hands on his chest, and pushing myself away from him so I’m now against the opposite wall.
He alters his stance and drops his gaze, once again rubbing at the back of his neck guiltily. “Yeah well, that one is all on me. You see, you were all over Theo, all night, and it was driving me crazy. To be honest with you - I had a thing for you for most of school, but, I don’t know - I didn’t do anything about it. I just kept fucking around with other girls I didn’t care about so I could keep playing with you. I didn’t realise Theo, Armand, or Aramis - whatever the hell he called himself, had a thing for you too. You were always off in the rehearsal room with him, but I kind of thought he didn’t have a chance – especially considering he wore makeup all the time. But at that party, you somehow convinced him to take it all off. Then you were both just - on each other.” He uses his hands to express his words, bringing them together like they’re grasping at a ball. “I couldn’t stand looking at you two. But I just stood there like a creep, watching the two of you go at it. I’d had a bit to drink, and when I saw you drag him into a room, I nearly lost my shit. I was all ready to charge on in there and defend your honour, but he came out pretty quickly, and I knew he hadn’t done anything with you. I mean, he’s a jerk, but he wasn’t going to take advantage of a drunk girl, so he put you to sleep in one of the bedrooms. I don’t know, I guess I was just jealous and didn’t want to risk him changing his mind and go back to you. So I got into bed with you. Nothing happened though. I promise you that. Although Theo thinks something did. When he came back in, all he saw was me on the bed and” he mumbles the last part.
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