by Maggie Ryan
Could I ever be an HoH? Spanking for fun, maybe, but could I possibly handle the responsibility of anything more?
Sean forced himself back to the present because dozens of hands had shot up when Traci offered to answer questions. The first question was a doozy. "Ms. Jackson, I've enjoyed your presentation very much, but I was hoping you could go into a bit more detail between the definitions of abuse verses discipline. I specialize in treating victims of domestic violence and while I can't say there is no place for corporal punishment in consenting relationships, I am a bit more wary than some in the room to endorse any kind of violence."
The portly middle-aged woman who'd asked the question had at least asked her question with respect. She took her seat as Traci formulated her answer.
"Thanks for a very good question, Dr. Harrison. I'm honestly happy you asked because this is a very common question, particularly when treating patients with domestic violence in their past. I've unfortunately had more than a few, and my answer to them is this.
"While physical contact may be present in both domestic discipline and domestic violence, that is where the similarity ends. With violence, the aggressor's purpose is to tear their partner down, physically and mentally. To make them feel bad or less of a person. Often with violence, the physical contact is on dangerous parts of the body where true harm can take place and the abuse is meted out until the abuser's anger wanes, often with disastrous results for the victim.
"Let's contrast that to corporal punishment within a consenting domestic discipline relationship. A good HoH knows the purpose of any punishment, physical or non-physical, should always be to correct poor behavior. With violence, the submissive always feels worse. With positive discipline, the submissive should always feel better after their punishment because they know they are now forgiven for their mistake. If done correctly, they should know that their HoH took the time to not only notice they had made an error, but also to guide them to better choices the next time. The couple will spend time talking about what went wrong and why, and the HoH will hold the submissive accountable for their choices. And of course, a physical correction should never take place in anger. It should take place on the buttocks and no lasting harm should ever come to the submissive partner."
Sean listened through several more clinical questions regarding her testing processes, but then a young woman stood to take the microphone to ask her question. It was clear that she was angry. "Ms. Jackson, I have listened closely today and I must say, as a woman, I'm offended that you would present such backward findings. If I didn't know better, I'd swear we had been transported back to 1950 where husbands wanted their wives barefoot and pregnant and dinner on the table when he got home from work. How can you justify publicly supporting these old-fashioned beliefs as a successful, single professional?"
The room had been breaking up into smaller conversations, but everyone turned their attention back to Traci. The ballroom became quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Sean willed Traci to stay calm. Like she often did, Traci took a deep cleansing breath before answering. "Thank you for your question. We haven't had the opportunity to meet yet so I'm afraid I don't know your name, but regardless, I'll try to answer your somewhat personal question as best I can.
"I am aware that to some, the practice of domestic discipline may seem old-fashioned, and maybe it is. But here's the thing. The next layer of my research is going to be focusing on the evolution of marriage in society and more specifically, on the skyrocketing divorce rates over the last half century. As you have pointed out, I am a professional woman who very much enjoys the benefits of choosing where I live and what to study. I've been able to achieve great success in my professional life. I'd like to think that consenting to be the submissive within a loving domestic discipline relationship wouldn't change that at all. Remember, the submissive partner agrees in advance to the rules. Agrees in advance to the consequences and if done right, her HoH will help her become the best person she can be. Not to mention, there are many DD couples where the woman is the HoH and the man is the submissive. I would hardly call that old-fashioned."
Sean's mind reeled. He hardly knew her, yet why did the idea of exploring a DD relationship pique his interest?
The round of applause signaled the end of her presentation. It brought him back from his dreaming. Even only having known her for one day, Sean had an odd sense of pride in how well Traci handled herself. He wasn't sure he could have kept his cool as well as she had under the microscope. He debated going out to congratulate her since he wanted to hug her and tell her what an awesome job she'd done, despite her fears the night before, yet he suspected she'd be embarrassed if she knew he'd been listening.
In the end, he decided there was no way he could see her later for dinner and lie to her by hiding the fact that he'd both read her research and attended her presentation. Taking a deep breath himself, he stepped into the room and approached Traci from behind. He had to wait several long minutes because she had a long line of admirers and well-wishers waiting to shake her hand and ask follow-up questions.
Only after the last question was answered did Traci turn to collect her purse and briefcase. Their eyes met and Sean felt like an ass as he watched the joy in her eyes change to panic.
"Sean. What are you doing here?"
He closed the last few feet between them and took her in his arms for what he hoped looked like a platonic hug to the rest of the room's occupants. He reluctantly pulled out of their embrace, choosing to keep his hands on her hips to hold her steady.
"Traci, you were magnificent! You should be so proud of yourself. You were worried for nothing. You knocked it out of the park like I knew you would."
He could see the confusion wavering in her eyes. She seemed pleased with his glowing praise, yet she was putting together the underlying meaning of his words.
"You were here? I mean, I didn't see you. Where..."
"Please don't be mad at me. I was just worried about you after last night. I knew you were nervous and I wanted to be here for moral support."
"But... " Her uncertainty made Sean angry. Not at her, but at himself. He should have known not to surprise her here... not like this. While the opinions of every other person in the room mattered to Traci on a professional level, he was the only person in the room that her presentation might have had personal implications for. To ambush her in public was unfair.
"Hey, I'm sorry. Well wait. I'm not sorry I came. I really did love watching you present on a topic you clearly have great passion for. I'm just sorry if I've made you feel uncomfortable by approaching you here. Let me say goodbye and we can maybe talk about some questions I have later at dinner." When she didn't answer, Sean prodded her. "You're still going to have dinner with me tonight, aren't you?"
"I don't know. Do you even still want to?" The vulnerability in her voice cut him. How could she have gone from confident professional to flustered...
Oh my God, this is her submission showing through. This isn't just a research project for her.
Sean reached for her hand and pulled her along behind him to the secret serving room where he had observed her speech. Luckily all of the servers were out refreshing the room before the next session started which provided them with limited privacy.
Sean pulled her into his arms and held her silently while they each caught their breath. When he pulled out of their hug, he reached to cup her face in his hands to make sure he had her attention.
"Traci, honey. I want to have dinner with you now more than ever. You are an amazing woman and I have so many questions for you. Honestly, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed and need some time to digest everything I heard, but one thing I know for sure is not one thing you said made me want to rethink seeing you tonight. On the contrary, you just try to back out now and I'll track you down. Don't forget, I have a few connections here at the hotel."
He was relieved to see a smile creep back to her lips. Those lips he remembered kissing last night. The lips he couldn't resi
st now. Sean captured her in a long, passionate lip-lock. Only when his cell phone started to ring did he break the kiss.
"I'd better get back to work. Do you mind having dinner up in my suite tonight rather than going out? We can order anything off the hotel menu and chef will even make special requests. I just think we have a lot to talk about and I'd prefer to do that with a bit of privacy, don't you think?"
The pink flush on her cheeks was adorable. "That sounds perfect. What time?"
"Let's say six again. Just take the elevator to the top floor and go straight ahead. It's the penthouse suite at the end of the hall. Ashley's grandparents are coming to pick her up after school and she's going to stay with them tonight."
Sean thought it odd that Traci looked almost disappointed at the news. "Okay, I'll see you at six. And Sean... thanks so much for coming today. It means a lot to me."
"I wouldn't have missed it for the world."
Traci stepped into the elevator on the eleventh floor and pressed the button to take her to the twenty-third floor. She felt like a different person than she had been just twenty-four hours ago when she had been standing in this very place, about to go on her first date with Sean and dreading today's presentation. She had to pinch herself to make sure she was awake. She couldn't remember having ever been as happy as she was at this very minute. The presentation had gone better than her wildest imagination and the feedback she'd received the rest of the day from her peers had been overwhelmingly supportive.
The only possible cloud on the horizon is my flight home on Friday afternoon. How am I going to avoid getting hurt by Sean?
As much as she'd hated herself after sleeping with Robert Meyer last year, she already knew that if Sean asked her to stay tonight, she'd never be able to say no. Broken heart or not, she was drawn to him in a way she felt powerless to resist. She was encouraged that he hadn't wanted to break their date after listening to her speech today. After all, he wouldn't have been the first guy to chicken out after finding out about her specialty. If only he lived in Corbin's Bend. If only he practiced DD.
"Enough 'if only's,' Traci. Just enjoy the ride for what it is." She spoke to her reflection in the gratefully empty elevator as the doors slid open.
Taking a deep cleansing breath to fortify her courage, Traci knocked on the door to the penthouse suite. Sean opened the door so quickly she wondered if he'd been waiting by the door. She hadn't thought he could look better than he had the night before. How wrong she’d been.
He wore perfectly tight khakis paired with a casual button-down beach shirt opened at the collar. The ensemble was topped off with a thick leather belt, which had Traci catching her breath. She knew from talking with many of the submissives in Corbin's Bend that she wasn't the only woman who noticed the quality of a man's belt early in a relationship. Traci couldn't stop from wondering about how that leather would feel kissing her upturned ass.
By the time their eyes met, it was clear Sean was just as happy with his appraisal of her brand new summer dress that she'd snuck out to buy as a treat that afternoon. It was the perfect combination of casual and daring and she'd paired it with a new pair of coral sling backs.
Sean stepped in for a hug. He brushed his lips intimately against her ear. "You look amazing. I'm so sorry. I suspect Ash had a hand in this, but her grandparents canceled on us. I hope you don't mind sharing dinner tonight with my daughter?"
Traci could see worry lines crinkling around his eyes. She couldn't tell him she was secretly happy. "Sean, that's great. It'll be great to meet Ashley."
He pulled her into the room and closed the door behind them before taking her arm. "You say that now, but she can be unpredictable. I apologize in advance if she's rude. You're the first woman I've dated since her mom died. I'm not sure how seeing me with you is going to sit with her."
Traci was more worried about how Ashley was going to react when she recognized her dad's date. "I'll be fine. If I could handle the room this morning, I think I can handle Ashley."
The large open living room of the suite was elegant, yet felt lived in. Traci had expected to see just another hotel room on a bigger scale, but Sean and Ashley had made the suite into their home. Family photos and artwork peppered the open spaces of the room. Books and homework papers were scattered across a desk against the far wall. A music stand with sheet music and a flute occupied one corner of the room. A large dining room table ran parallel to the large expanse of windows that faced the west. Traci walked to the windows and peered twenty-three floors below onto busy Michigan Avenue.
"Sean, the view is breathtaking. I bet you see some awesome sunsets from this window."
He hugged her from behind and pulled her back against his chest to enjoy the view. "Yep, and we have beautiful sunrises from the bedroom windows on the other side of the apartment. I'd sort of hoped to share one of those with you tomorrow, but my daughter has put a damper on that idea."
Traci's knees went weak beneath her. She wasn't sure if it was his sexy invitation to spend the night or the nibbles he was delivering to her bare shoulder. She didn't have time to figure it out because they were interrupted by Ashley joining them.
"Wow, you've only known each other one day. Now I know why you tried to get rid of me tonight, Dad. You didn't tell me you'd met a player."
Sean cursed before apologizing in her ear. "Damn it. I'm so sorry, Traci. Maybe we should go out."
"Don't be silly, Sean. We just surprised her is all. Let me try to fix this."
Traci extricated herself from Sean's embrace and turned to greet Ashley. She knew the second Ashley recognized her. Her face flipped from a portrait of teenage angst to vulnerable fear. Traci walked quickly to her, trying to shield that face from Sean.
"Ashley, it's so good to meet you. Your dad told me so much about you last night at dinner. I was disappointed when he told me originally you weren't going to be here tonight." Traci's words were true and she hoped Ashley could see Traci's pleasure at seeing her again.
Traci knew it would surprise Sean, but she reached out to pull Ashley into a hug so she could whisper into her ear. "Smile. I didn't tell him we'd already met. Help me keep our secret, will you?" Ashley answered by hugging her back. Traci couldn't help but notice Ashley was reluctant to let go and she worried Sean was going to get suspicious.
When they pulled out of their hug, there was a grin on Ashley's face, right up until her father joined them. "Ashley, I want you to apologize to Traci. Your comment was rude."
"Sean, it's fine."
"No, Traci, it's not."
"Dad's right. It was rude. I'm really sorry I said it."
"Apology accepted."
The three of them stood still for an awkward moment. Sean looked confused by the hug. Ashley seemed confused by how Traci got here and Traci felt like a third wheel in their home. Sean took the lead.
"I didn't get a chance to ask you what you wanted for dinner. When Ashley found out you were coming, she suggested we have one of our tapas nights which was a fabulous idea."
"Okay, I'll bite. What is tapas night?"
Ashley jumped in to answer. "We got the idea in Spain last year. We order up a bunch of small dishes from the menu and everyone gets to share taste tests. There are tapas restaurants all over in Spain where they serve small dishes like this. Of course, we didn't eat until ten o'clock at night in Spain, but since it's a school night, I doubt Dad will let me wait until ten to eat." She was grinning at her father and only now could Traci see the resemblance between them.
"Wow, you've traveled to Spain?"
"Yep. Dad loves to travel. We've always taken vacations every summer..." She took on a look of panic and glanced at Traci self-consciously.
Traci eased her fears. "It's okay. You can talk about vacations with your mom. Your dad shared with me how you lost her a couple of years ago to cancer. I'm so sorry for your loss."
Sean injected. "Did I tell you she died of cancer?"
It was Traci's turn to look panicked. "I t
hought you did. Maybe I just assumed it because you said she'd been ill for some time." That placated him and she was saved by the knock on the door that announced dinner had arrived.
The girls shared a knowing smile at their near miss behind his back. Ashley leaned in to whisper to Traci. "I can't believe it's you. Where did you meet him?"
"Would you believe me if I told you outside the women's bathroom?" The girls shared another giggle.
Sean was back. "Wow, you two are getting along better than I ever could have hoped."
Ashley grinned at her dad. "Dad, I told you I was cool with you dating"
"Well, thank goodness. Let's dig in while the food is hot."
They all sat at the dining table and faced the view of the city. A room service server spread out over a dozen small plates, all full of everything from appetizers and vegetables to seafood and meat dishes. There were even a few set to the side heaped with decedent desserts. Sean had disappeared and returned with a large stack of clean plates for them to put their samples on before picking up the bottle of wine. Traci was surprised to watch him pour three glasses, although one glass had less than a quarter portion.
"My in-laws are scandalized that I've started letting Ashley taste wine occasionally, but after spending so much time in Napa Valley and traveling in Europe, I wanted to educate her on some of the differences in wine production around the globe. It's always been an interest of mine and we've found it's something we enjoy together. Of course, I'm perfectly aware that she just likes it because I let her taste alcohol, but I have to do something to try to keep myself from earning the title of the world's meanest dad."
"Dad, I only called you that once and honestly, that day you deserved it."
"I'm sure I did, but Traci made sure to tell me last night that if I don't make you mad at me at least part of the time, then I'm not doing my job right."
