The Shepard's Agony

by Mandy Rosko

  “What would you like us to do?” Garrett asked, sounding rather fatherly and understanding. He managed to pull it off, even with the sword strapped to his back.

  “Just …” Dianna stopped to think it over, as if she hadn’t thought so far ahead. “Just scare them a little. Try not to hurt anyone. I’ll come in and make it look like I scared you away, then that’s that,” she said, rubbing her wrists and hands in a nervous habit.

  Shepard watched her shake as his father pretended to consider her offer.

  Tracking them down, he had no idea how she did it, and asking them to do such an absurd thing for her was probably the bravest, and stupidest, thing she’d ever done. Shepard wondered what her pack would do to her if they found out about it.

  Garrett eventually agreed to her plan, Dianna paid them a measly five grand when any werewolf pelt was worth twice that, and then she left.

  Shepard knew what a hunt this big would mean. Innocents would be in that pack and they would be killed, regardless of how young or old they were. And, their blood would be on his hands. If they accomplished a Moon Night hunt, of all things, they would have enough pelts and be moving to another area. He would never see Gwen again.

  They’d fought over the subject, actually had their very first yelling-in-each-other’s-faces argument. He’d told her there was a chance, a big chance, that he’d need to move away soon. He didn’t know when or how far, or if he would ever see her again. Now, it was being confirmed that there was a big hunt coming up and that they would have to leave the area afterward.

  “I can’t do this,” he said.

  His words silenced the laughter and talk going on amongst his brothers and father, who all stopped counting the easy five they’d made to stare at him. Including Jacob, who was standing away from their happy group and looking at him with interest.

  “What do you mean you can’t do it? Of course you can,” Andrew said, confused and shocked over his declaration.

  He shook his head and took a step back. “I’m serious, I’m not killing anyone else.”

  He knew what was coming, but it still surprised him every time.

  “Check him.”

  Shepard was suddenly thrown in the air before he landed on his back with a grunt, Andrew and Allen holding his arms down while Jimmy checked both sides of his neck.

  “I’m not bit! Let me up!” he yelled. Struggling against his three brothers proved to be useless as their combined weight made him completely helpless to their search.

  He’d been searched many times over the years for similar reasons. It was too unhuman-like to not want to protect his own by abandoning them.

  While he was being searched for any of the usual signs, bite marks, fangs, claws, extra hair growth and the like, Garrett stomped over to Jacob. His fist was ready, but he stood tall. Garrett didn’t strike him.

  “I swear, if we find any of your unnatural teeth marks on him, I’ll tie you to a tree and leave you there until sun up!”

  Jacob bristled at the comment. “I would never do such a thing!”

  “I can’t find anything on him!” Jimmy yelled over his shoulder.

  “That’s because I haven’t been bit!” Shepard hissed. With Jimmy unable to find anything, the twins loosened their grip on him. Shepard managed to throw Jimmy off of him by punching him square in the jaw. He hated being searched.

  He got to his feet, body tense and fists still clenched, ready to fight anything that came near him.

  “What’s the matter with you, Davey?” Garrett asked, using the little kid’s name that he despised.

  “Stop treating me like a child!” he yelled. “I’m a grown man, and I’m not doing this anymore.”

  “But, why?” Allen asked. Shepard turned to look at them, really look at them. His brothers were all in their thirties, no wives, no children, no family outside of their little group. He didn’t want that for himself; he wanted to settle down and make a living on his own. If they couldn’t see that then he wouldn’t bother explaining it to them.

  “I’m going,” he said before taking one of the family trucks and driving off with it. While on the road, he had the sudden urge to see Gwen, buy her roses, and surprise her at the Diner where she worked.

  He’d actually done it and it had been easier then he thought it would be. He was out of the hunting life and could finally make his own decisions. He would make up with Gwen and tell her he wasn’t going anywhere because all he really wanted to do was stay with her.

  Gwen saw him standing in the doorway, saw the flower in his hand, and she threw her arms around his neck without finishing the order she’d been taking.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” he promised, kissing her again and again while holding her up in the air.

  She took the rose he offered her and kissed back, trying to wipe away her tears before he could see them. He wanted to carry her right out of the diner, but knew she probably wouldn’t appreciate that too much. Even with the bad lighting, her curly white-blonde hair contained in a hair net, and wearing the bright yellow uniform, she never looked more beautiful.

  He spent that night with Gwen. Having her long legs wrapped around his waist while he kissed, touched, stroked, and licked everywhere that he could had been great. She wouldn't let him touch her everywhere, however, which was probably how he'd missed it until she fell asleep.

  Shepard found the crescent moon birthmark on her thigh when she moved her legs, snuggling closer to him in her sleep. He was so sure that he’d mapped every inch of her body when they made love; that he’d kissed and touched her everywhere. Yet, there it was, the little thing that he’d missed that meant so much. It was beautiful and horrible all at the same time.

  It was difficult to keep calm as he held her while she peacefully slept, naked and helpless. A part of him wanted to run and never come back; the part of him that was a coward and still feared werewolves. All it took was one look at her face while she slept,

  her hair a halo of blonde curls around her head.

  He couldn’t do it, but he also couldn’t stay. He hated that he had to do it, but she was obviously a part of the pack that Dianna had told them about. She had to be. Werewolves stuck to the same area, and another pack wouldn't allow an intruder to walk around their territory.

  He thought of telling her that he knew what she was and that she shouldn’t go to her Moon Night before quickly scratching that idea. How would he explain that he knew? By telling her he was a hunter and that his brothers were going to be attacking soon? Even if she didn’t try to kill him, a revelation like that would be sending his entire family to their graves. Gwen was his first priority. He would go to their Moon Night to keep her safe, nothing more.

  When they did finally attack, they did so at sun down instead of the dead of night. They also came across the lake instead of through the woods like Dianna had planned, catching her and everyone else off guard. Looking back on it, Shepard wished he’d handled it differently. If he had, all those people wouldn’t be dead and maybe Gwen would have trusted him enough to tell him about his condition.

  ***

  “Daddy, please reconsider. Bill, tell him to reconsider!” Gwen was on the verge of a panic attack. They were actually talking about locking David up and questioning him until he died.

  No, that wasn’t right, her father wouldn’t do such a thing. What David needed was a bed and enough medication to make the change less painful. But, medication of that strength would knock him out cold and they needed him awake to answer their questions. What was worse, they didn’t want her anywhere near him during the questioning or change.

  They said they didn’t want to put her through anymore hurt and pain, but she had a sneaking suspicion that it was because they didn’t want anyone supervising to prevent any cruelty.

  She didn’t know who would be doing the questioning, probably John and one or two others, and while she didn’t like to think such things about her own pack mates, she had to stop and seriously consider what they might d
o to a captured hunter. It wasn’t unknown for a wolf or vamp to want brutal revenge.

  Bill wheezed a bit through his breathing tube and made a face. Gwen winced at the mental image he was sending her; screaming people, children running, and himself getting shot by a laughing bounty hunter. He was angry and in no mood to take it easy on David, regardless of whether or not he’d saved her.

  To them, he hadn’t saved her at all, but abducted her for her pelt, and nothing she said could make them think otherwise. To think she’d been hoping they would be more understanding about it all.

  Still, she had to try. “He can live through it, I know he can! Just let me be with him to help him through it and you can question him after,” she could hear her own voice breaking. Her father could only sigh his sympathy and turn his head away.

  “I got bitten five days before the full moon…”

  Gwen wiped the tears from her cheeks, disgusted with herself. She knew he’d been bitten, but didn’t know it was so close to a full moon.

  He turned back to her. “It was pretty bad, I didn’t think anything was wrong until a few hours before it happened. I got so sick I thought I was going to die. Then, when it was over, I was still sick for days after.” He stared at her hard, trying to deliver a silent message. Gwen snarled.

  She was furious at the lot of them. Just give it up, forget about him, he was a dead man anyway. That’s what she heard from them and it sickened her.

  “This isn’t about revenge, Gwen. I know you think it is, so don’t look at me like that. It’s about the security of the pack,” Larry said.

  “Someone in your pack had to have told them where to go,” Evey said. “I know there was a vampire with them, but if I can’t find where you all go every other month, no other vamp can. I don’t care how good he is.”

  Evey had been brought up to speed in the car ride to the hospital. Because of her history with the pack and skills as a vampire, her input was always important.

  Larry nodded. “We’ve thought of that and we’ve started going through a list of people we think could’ve done it, starting with the humans in the pack first.”

  “Someone in our own pack?” Gwen asked, completely stunned. The thought that there might be a traitor in their midst never occurred to her.

  Larry nodded. “It’s bad, I know, which is why we need to question him as soon as possible. We can’t take him back to the city, it’s too far. It’ll have to be done back at the cabin.”

  Her eyes went wide. The thought of going back to where all the deaths had occurred wasn’t appealing, but she schooled herself to appear calm. “Has everything been cleaned up?”

  What she really wanted to ask was, had the wounded taken to be seen to? Had the blood been washed away? Had the weapons been picked up and the dead seen to?. She cringed at the thought.

  “Everyone who was able stayed behind,” Larry said. “It should be cleaned up by now, but I still haven’t been called about the book.”

  “Book?” Gwen asked.

  Larry’s face became grave. “The address book.”

  “It’s gone?”

  Larry nodded and everyone else in the room bowed their heads, their expressions grave.

  A chill went up her spine. That book in the wrong hands could hurt so many people, not even her home would be safe. Did David know it was gone? Would he have told her if he did?

  “We don’t know if the hunters found it and took it, but it isn’t where Bill usually keeps it. Since we can’t find it, we can’t take the risk.”

  “Where’s everyone going to go? They can’t all go home,” Gwen said, trying to think of possible solutions to the problem or anyplace the book might be that no one checked. “How could the hunters have found it anyway?” she asked. “It’s locked up, isn’t it?”

  Larry nodded. “In Bill’s desk, but the lock wasn’t broken and it wasn’t in there.”

  Bill took a wheezing breath to ready himself. “That’s why we think someone from our side had something to do with this and why it’s important to question the Shepard. Gwen, even if I were to choose to agree with you that he saved you because he didn’t want to see you hurt, it doesn’t make him any less guilty for the things he's done with that family of his,” he spoke softly. He had to because of his condition, but his words were like a blow to the chest. Evey stared hard at her.

  Gwen tried to think of anything that could point the finger away from David. She didn’t want to believe that saving her had more to do with creating a distraction amongst the pack than her actual safety. She wanted to trust him so badly, but, the fact of the matter was, she was likely staring at him with rose colored glasses.

  Unable to think of a response, Gwen slowly nodded. “Okay. Bill?”

  He turned his head slightly.

  "You said I can have a few minutes alone with him?"

  He managed a weak nod, too exhausted from talking.

  That was good, she wanted to tell him herself. When she left the room, she did so with a heavy heart. Evey followed her out, placing her arms around Gwen’s shoulders when the door was shut behind them. She tried to draw some comfort from her friend, but it was little help.

  “It’ll all work out in the end,” Evey said.

  “How?”

  Evey didn’t respond, she just gave her a gentle squeeze and walked off.

  “Thank you,” Gwen called sarcastically.

  Chapter Eight

  He knew it was petty, but Shepard was glad the cocky wolf got his ear blown off. He hoped it was Allen who did it, too. Payback for all the times he was forced to knock him unconscious. It was something nice and horrible to think about while he leaned against the wall and scratched at the cut on his arm; a cut that had begun pulsing painfully some minutes ago.

  Then, his ears perked and his nose twitched. Gwen was coming, he could smell her from down the hall.

  Shepard didn’t want an interruption, so he and ran into the men’s room. When Gwen was passing, he surprised her by dragging her inside and locking the door.

  “What are you doing!” she screeched when he released her, checking the stalls to be absolutely sure they were alone.

  “You couldn’t smell me waiting in here? I could smell you a mile away.”

  She flushed. “I was … thinking.”

  “Great,” Shepard slammed the last stall door shut, convinced they would now have their privacy. “You have a bad habit of keeping things from me.”

  Gwen tensed and was suddenly aware of the tightness in his shoulders. “Like what?”

  “Don’t play dumb.” He approached her and she backed into a cold wall. Shepard knew he was radiating an angry aura, was probably scaring her, if she was capable of being scared, but he didn’t care. Instead, he put one hand on either side of her head.

  “We were in the car, sitting right beside each other and you couldn’t even mention there was a chance I might not survive the … change.”

  It wasn’t a question, it was an accusation.

  He could see the light bulb go off in her head. “Ah, so now you know what I’m saying.”

  “David it’s not like that,” she said.

  “Then what is it like? It seems simple enough to me, all you had to do was tell me instead of letting me stay in the dark,” he growled. “Now, I’m friggin’ dying.”

  “How did you find out?”

  “You’re upset I found out?”

  “No! Just, just stop being like this and tell me,” she demanded, pushing his hands away and stepping away from him. “And stop trying to scare me!”

  “I had to find out by listening to you talking about it to everyone in your pack. It’s nice that they can all make plans around my death but I can’t even know about it, thanks a lot!”

  “Well, if it weren’t for you this never would’ve happened to begin with!” she shot back.

  “Oh yes, excuse me, I forgot that it’s my fault your boyfriend decided to scratch me. It’s entirely my fault because I had to save your life d
espite everything you never told me. Well, don’t worry about it because the next time I won’t bother.”

  He could see her breathing hard now, her chest rising and falling in pent up fury. The wheels turning in her head.

  Shepard could bet any money she regretted telling her father that she loved him. “You have no right to try and turn this around on me. You want to know everything there is to know about me? Fine, I’ll tell you right now. My mother left my father when she found out what he was and I can’t even remember what she looks like because she never bothered to visit, call, or even drop me a post card because she was afraid of me. That’s why I never told you about myself. I graduated high school with a B average and went to college to be a vet. But, guess what? Animals don’t like being around werewolves, so the only animals I can get near are the one’s I’m hunting, which is why I work in a diner.

  “I stole thirty dollars out of my dad’s wallet when I was fourteen and lost my virginity when I was eighteen. There, the big mystery is solved. Happy now?” But she wasn’t done, she was still fuming. “And, what exactly do I know about you, Mr. High and Mighty? I didn’t tell you about myself because I was afraid you’d leave, and you know what? I was right, because that’s exactly what you did. You lied to my face about everything, and you … you attacked my pack and stole our address book!”

  So that was it. The revelation made Shepard feel a little easier knowing she kept herself from him, not because she was planning on biting him while he slept at night, but because of a fear she held that he confirmed when he left. But, he still had his own reasons for lying. “No, I attacked my own brother when he had his gun pointed at your head.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  He looked her hard in the eyes. “You were a wolf, standing completely still, open for any kind of attack in front of the bounty hunter who gave you this.” He stepped closer, sliding a finger over the bandage on her face.