The Craigslist Murders
Copyright © 2011 by Brenda Cullerton
All rights reserved
First Melville House Printing: January 2011
Melville House Publishing
145 Plymouth Street
Brooklyn, New York 11201
mhpbooks.com
The Library of Congress has cataloged the paperback edition as follows: Cullerton, Brenda.
The Craigslist murders: a novel / Brenda Cullerton.
p. cm.
eISBN: 978-1-61219-020-4
1. Murder–Fiction. 2. Rich people–Fiction. 3. Manhattan (New York, N.Y.)–Fiction. I. Title.
PS3603.U584C73 2011
813’.6–dc22
2010049601
v3.1
With the exception of references to BBS (Birkin Bag Syndrome), PJNS (Private Jet Neck Syndrome), and the contents of a Golden Globe swag bag, this is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
For Richard and Rachel
“Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.”
—E.G. HUBBARD
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Epigraph
Chapter 1 - August
Chapter 2 - Four Weeks Later
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46 - Eighteen Months Later
Acknowledgements
1
AUGUST
Charlotte had been getting away with murder for years. Most interior decorators—desecrators, she called them—got away with murder. Her killings usually came in the form of modest mark-ups and kickbacks. Modest compared to her colleagues, anyway. It was unbelievable. Forget the famous $6,000 Tyco shower curtain. That was old news. Yesterday, some dealer at an art show in Dallas had called her about a nice pair of $25,000 vinyl-sculptured, light switches. But enough about work, she couldn’t wait to shut this girl up. A nail-thin, Nordic blonde, she was jabbering away on her iPhone to some friend who had just harvested her eggs.
Privacy and God. Both dead! Charlotte muttered, as she pretended not to listen and scanned the room. The French ultramarine blue walls, yellow ochre trims, and low chrome couches were nice. But whoa! The lamp? It looked like some kind of grotesquely bloated sea urchin. Something that might sting you when you turned it on. The wall near the picture window was covered with photographs of the girl’s geriatric husband, mingling with the city’s powers-that-be, and showing off his lovely new acquisition. The “acquisition,” now puckering her lips and blowing kisses into the phone, was wearing more logos than a NASCAR driver.
For Charlotte, logos were the symbol of an insidious form of identity theft. The theft began as early as infancy when her clients swaddled their newborns in itty bitty blankets of “F” for Fendi cashmere. F for all F’ed up, Charlotte had thought the last time she ooh’ed and ahh’ed over a baby in a $3,000 Corsican Paris iron crib on New York’s Upper East Side. Charlotte herself loved beautiful things. Some of them even had logos. But everything she owned had an emotional presence; something that spoke of her own hunger to be understood, her passion for beauty itself.
The delicately painted porcelain cup balanced on her knee, for example. It was Herend. She’d checked. Herend had a history. It bore the hallmark of the Hungarian royal family. Charlotte imagined that this girl associated Hungary, like Turkey, with something to eat. Pulling her mass of long red hair tightly back from her face, Charlotte stuck a pen in the knot to hold it, and focused on the mission ahead.
“So who gave you the bracelet?” she asked as the girl pressed “End Call” and placed the phone on the coffee table.
“Yes, well … an old boyfriend in Chicago gave it to me when I graduated from Joliet Junior College,” she replied. “It’s Bulgari. See? And this is the Tour Eiffel. He collected all the charms on a trip we took to Europe before I started modeling.”
“How charming,” Charlotte replied. “Pun intended, of course.” Blowing on her tea, she’d cringed at the French words “Tour Eiffel.” It was so affected, like when people raved about “Habana” or “Barthelona.” The sharp cramp in her abdomen forced her to take a deep breath. Was it the girl’s smug, vacuous smile? Or the way she kept flashing her grotesquely oversized canary yellow diamond ring?
“The problem is, my husband doesn’t really appreciate its sentimental value. And I’d rather not have it in the house as a reminder, you know?”
“Well, you must love him very much,” Charlotte said, feeling queasy. “And where is your husband now?”
For the next twenty minutes, Charlotte listened to her recite the guy’s whole resume, including his nine million dollar Christmas bonus, while also sniveling on about how long he’d been gone (five days) and how “awesomely happy” they were as a couple.
What is this sob story about missing husbands? Charlotte wondered. He isn’t Daniel Pearl, for Christ’s sake. He’s some ancient I-banker screwing interns on a business trip. The more the girl whined and the more she fiddled with her enormous ring, the more angry Charlotte became. Her teeth chattered. She shivered. People always talk about the heat of anger. For Charlotte, it was the cold. She was so cold. She even looked to see if her own skin had stuck to the fire poker before rolling it back up in her bright yellow yoga mat.
Much like her encounter with the divorcee months earlier—a woman unloading a case of vintage Dom—a couple of heavy blows to the head from behind was all it took to send the girl whimpering to the floor. After eight years of Pilates, Charlotte was pretty pumped. She’d hit her so hard the first time, the poker had vibrated in her hand. She’d had to tighten her grip. It was weird, the way the girl seemed to drift down, lazily, like leaves falling from a tree, into a sitting position on the floor.
But the mechanics of killing bored Charlotte. It was the small, seemingly insignificant details that moved her. They were so preternaturally vivid: the dribble of bright red seeping into a blond sisal carpet, the darker splatter, the smears, on a shiny chartreuse chintz pillow, the pale pink sugary residue in the bottom of the teacup that matched the color of the girl’s nails. It was surreal, this saturation of color. Like being trapped in the frames of an Almodovar movie. This vividness was precisely what Charlotte enjoyed most about these moments. It made her feel so acutely, so exquisitely, alive.
Being a bit of a neat freak helped a lot with the tidying up after. The swiping of surfaces with her Handi Wipes, the change of exercise leggings, the removal of the bracelet and the cup. (The cup would make a lovely new addition to
her collection of mismatched quality china.) By the time Charlotte had completed these rituals, her cramps had gone, and the girl’s bleating cries had finally stopped.
It wasn’t until she got home that she noticed the blood on the collar of her cream silk shirt. “God damn it!” she said, furiously scrubbing away at the stain and leaving it to soak in the kitchen sink. She also washed her yoga mat in the laundry area and polished the poker (a filthy job) before replacing it next to the fireplace. The scalding hot rainforest shower had never felt so good.
Unlike her mother’s spartan, functional bathrooms, Charlotte believed in the “sanctuary” concept. So what if people laughed at her silver-leaf tiles, the fuchsia pink egg-shaped tub, and her $15,000 Toto toilet? Nobody knew about clean like the Japanese. It was a cultural obsession, wasn’t it? And there was something so soothing about the toilet’s water wand, the warm air dryer, the heated seat.
“Jesus! It does everything but kiss your ass!” one of her clients’ husbands had exclaimed, after she’d installed three Totos in their brownstone.
At fifteen grand a pop, she wasn’t surprised to see that another had somehow “fallen off the truck” and found its way into her loft. Volume discounts were how her business worked. You spent thousands, tens of thousands, buying merchandise for clients from a vendor and the vendor owed you. Period. Hell, she knew interior designers who had furnished entire country homes, right down to their Sherle Wagner gold-plated faucets, from volume discounts.
The press didn’t report the murder until two days later. Skimming the headline inside the Post: “Model, Homemaker Murdered!” the article also mentioned that the 25-year-old “victim” (Fashion victim, maybe, Charlotte had snorted to herself) had died of blunt-trauma injuries after being hit in the head with an unknown object.
Even if police checked the girl’s e-mail correspondence and made the connection between Craigslist and buyers visiting the apartment, Charlotte wasn’t worried. She’d set the whole thing up under a pseudonym on a public-access computer at Kinko’s.
2
FOUR WEEKS LATER
Taking a tiny sip from her glass of chilled Stag’s Leap, Charlotte entered the museum’s vast new atrium. The immensity of the space left her breathless, giddy. The ceilings that seemed to soar up forever, the 80-foot sheet of single-pane glass overlooking the gardens, the marble and sea-foam slate floors. It reminded her of the first time she’d ever set foot in a mosque, the glory of all that uninterrupted space. What a spectacular backdrop for tonight’s dinner.
People who say money reeks have never smelled real money, she thought, while checking out the intimate groupings of snow-white, linen-covered tables. No, the money made by trustees of this museum had been so thoroughly laundered; all that was left was the discreet scent of Creed. How ironic, Charlotte sniggered. Most of the men in this room had done such unspeakably dirty things to amass their billions. But they all looked so pristine, so immaculately clean.
They lived clean, too. Smiling coyly at the male waiter and nibbling on a bit of billowy puff pastry, Charlotte thought some more about this generation of freshly-minted money—a generation that did everything but spend and exercise in moderation. They didn’t smoke. They didn’t drink. They barely ate. The women were so self-consumed, there was nothing left of them but skin and bones. Faux blondes with Sulka-smooth faces and foreheads as shiny as Granny Smith apples, they all looked the same. More identity theft, Charlotte thought as she waved to a knot of women clustered near the bar. Some were former clients and others, friends of clients.
Back in the flush of her “brilliant, breakthrough success” (who could forget a rave like that from Architectural Digest?) Charlotte had been invited to lunch by a new client.
“I don’t do lunch,” she’d replied, offhandedly. When the woman’s personal assistant phoned the next morning to cancel her contract, Charlotte panicked. The remark could have killed her career. She hadn’t meant to sound haughty. She simply had better things to do. Like work. Now, she lunched twice a week. As Charlotte continued to survey the room, she noticed a guy staring at her, pointing at her shoes. What the hell was his name?
Even at thirty-seven years old, Charlotte knew that she was one of the best-looking women there. It wasn’t just the shoes—satin slippers, actually. She was wearing one red and one black from separate pairs that she’d picked up on sale at the Liwan boutique in Paris. And it wasn’t just her clothes—a beautiful old Beene shrug of hand-sewn red paillettes and a blissfully simple black jersey jumpsuit. It was the pale, creamy skin, emerald green eyes, and shock of fiery red hair that encircled her face like a halo—“the halo from hell,” some hideous ex-business partner had once called it.
Charlotte had a lot of ex-partners. But this isn’t why women are staring at me tonight, she thought. They’re jealous. Style, like happiness, can’t be bought. Not real style. And Charlotte had it. “Elle sait faire” she’d overheard Caroline say about her to friends. Considering Caroline was the chicest French dealer in town, this was quite a compliment.
Oh right! Now she recognized the guy. It was the “hedgie” who worked in Greenwich Village.
“That’s short for hedge fund, dear,” the guy had said with a wink when she sat down next to him at some interminable private school auction last year.
“Wow!” Charlotte had replied, her eyes as round as saucers. “I think I’ve heard of those.”
Half her clients were married to hedge fund guys. Where did this moron think she’d been for the past ten years? As she recalled, the auction highlights included a $22,000 winning bid for “A Bedtime Story and Tuck In” by one of the school’s kindergarten teachers and a $42,000 bid for a cute patchwork quilt made by second graders. She couldn’t wait to get home. Christ! And there he was again tonight, bobbing up and down in the crowd, saluting her. What was with the saluting?
“Hi there!” Lunging in to plant a wet kiss on her cheek, the guy spilled half a glass of wine on his pants. “Remember me?”
“The hedgie,” Charlotte replied, politely passing him a cocktail napkin. “Short for hedge fund, right?”
“You got it, baby!” he said, blotting his thigh with one hand while grabbing another glass from a passing waiter. “Name’s Judd.”
For the next fifteen minutes, Judd tore off on a verbal “test drive” in his brand-new, fully-loaded $350,000 Maybach 57s. Charlotte had only seen these pimped out chauffeur-driven sedans double-parked on the street. She didn’t even have a driver’s license. So by the time, he’d revved his way through twelve cylinder power packs, maximum torque of 1000 nm (whatever the fuck that was), rear aprons, and anthracite Alcantra, she’d felt like a piece of roadkill. He then switched to the subject of his fortieth birthday party.
“Did I tell you I paid for the Stones, Charlotte?” (Yes, about ninety times, she’d muttered to herself.)
“Eight million, but I got to sing with Mick!”
“What a treat for Mick,” she said.
“Who says you can’t get no satisfaction, huh?” he added, poking her playfully in the ribs, as she turned to speak with the plump “too-tan-from-a-can-man” sidling in on her left.
“I wouldn’t eat that if I were you,” the man said, snidely, pointing to the slender stalk of spring asparagus on the tip of her toothpick.
“Why not?” she was fool enough to ask. “I love asparagus!”
“Well, I happen to import 80% of America’s asparagus from Peru.”
Do you, now? Charlotte whispered to herself. How absolutely fascinating.
“We fumigate the shit out of it with bleach and fungicide before we ship it. It’s not great for the prostate,” he chuckled, eyeing his private parts.
“Guess I’m glad I don’t have a prostate,” Charlotte answered, swallowing the stalk in a single bite.
Now where the hell was Philip? People were being corralled toward the tables at the back of the atrium. Ah! Finally. Standing on tiptoes, she watched as a sleek silver-haired man slithered his way th
rough the crowd towards her. How I pity your wife, Charlotte thought to herself. Philip, known to all but his wife, Vicky, as “Phil Phil” (the “Philandering Philanthropist”) was heir to one of the city’s biggest real estate fortunes. Charlotte had managed to keep him at arm’s length for years and had come tonight only as favor to his wife.
Vicky, her oldest friend, was off in Aspen, dealing with last minute contract changes for the third condo. That was the other weird thing about the really rich: Money was as meaningless to them as death, or physical death, anyway, was to terrorists. Most of her clients, for instance, didn’t even bother to pay for health insurance. (Who needed the hassle of health insurance with billions in the bank?) But she’d never met a single one who didn’t need just a tiny bit more.
“Un poquito mas! Un poquito mas!” she heard the hedge fund guy shouting over and over again to the befuddled waiter, attempting to nudge his way past with a trayful of empty glasses. The kid wasn’t even Hispanic. “Hielo! Hielo!” he repeated, rattling the ice cubes in his glass. But yeah … Whether it was ice cubes, condos, cows, (beg your pardon, cattle), shoes, or money, they always needed just a little more.
“God! Gorgeous bracelet, Charlotte.” She flinched. Philip had somehow drifted in from behind her. With one hand snaked around her waist, he lifted her wrist for a closer look. “Vicky’s been begging for one. I should have known you were the woman to ask. So where did you get it?”
“Craigslist,” she said, giving her wrist a shake.
“You’re kidding,” he replied, utterly dumbfounded. “It’s eighteen karat,” he spluttered. “And it’s solid. I can hear the clunk.”
“Don’t look so shocked,” Charlotte replied, slipping her arm through his. “It comes with quite a story, too.”
As Philip guided her, oh-so adroitly, toward their table, she fumed. So typical! Dismissing yet another world he knows nothing about. Craigslist wasn’t just some secondhand, online shopping bazaar. It was a compulsion; a vital, visceral connection to the city, a connection that was changing people’s lives. But what did Philip know of change? Like most men, he probably hated change. (Unless, of course, the change involved a new wife.)
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