"Right then." He passed me the key. "You know where you're going?"
After getting directions and promising to let Betty know if I needed anything, I headed out, Cerberus on my heels.
"He likes you." The old man smiled from his desk.
At the front door, I knelt to say my goodbyes to the three legged dog before continuing on to my new life.
The cabin at the end of an unnamed road off route 191 was now my home. Someone had been by and turned on all the lights and started a fire. It helped shake the ghosts away, but they lingered in the trees, watching as I made my way inside.
The small space remained as I remembered it: ugly plaid furniture, a small kitchen in one corner, a loft above where my brother and I slept and a tiny bedroom. I could see my mother standing in the kitchen, a hazy sun-bleached image of her from happier days. She said something, but I couldn't hear. Too many years had passed.
Off the living room, a deck looked out over the water. Someone had strung Christmas lights from the deck stairs down to the dock, almost like stars sparkling a path. Had that been my idea from childhood or something Betty had done? It seemed like both were true. Memory has a funny habit of changing the past.
I dropped my purse on the wood carved bench and opened the sliding door. The lake sang in salt and silt.
I fell asleep on the couch, the lights still on.
In the morning, I woke slowly, half in a dream.
I made a small pot of coffee and walked out to the dock, mug in hand.
The boards were old and weathered, except for where the end had been replaced, completely rebuilt and fortified with metal supports. After it collapsed under my brother as he reached out for an elusive firefly, no expense was spared in its repair. Even if we never returned to the scene of the crime.
And that's what it had been, a crime. In that moment, my brother's desire extended his reach and he stepped out where he knew the dock couldn't hold him. His plummet into the water and the destruction that rained down on him, trapping his body under the water too long for any hope of resurrection, was no one's fault but his own.
I sat on the dock and dipped my toes in the water. The cold movement of the lake reassured me that this was now and I was not him.
The morning air heated quickly and I removed my cardigan. Feathers fluttered down the backs of my arms. The movement reached deep within me, tickling and playing with emotions I thought long dead. This must have been what freedom felt like. As the breeze played with my hair and feathers I sipped my coffee and let the sun warm my face.
"Hello?" A low voice called from the deck.
I dropped my mug and it slipped beneath the surface of the lake as I scurried to pull the sleeves of my cardigan over my arms. My feathers burned where they were pulled back against the quill and bunched under the fabric.
"Hey, are you Isha?"
I looked up to find a tall man with a wide smile and narrow eyes striding down the stairs toward me. Panic over my feathers being seen had me step backwards. I could feel the edge of the dock as my heel slipped over.
"Woah!" The man ran forward and grabbed my upper arm, pulling me back on the dock before I tumbled over the edge. "You almost fell in!" He laughed as if the idea weren't the most terrifying thing in the universe.
"Who are you?" I demanded, scowling at the interloper who disturbed my morning. One of my feathers folded forward, releasing itself from the trap of my sleeve so it could lay flat against my arm.
"Right, sorry." His bright smile faltered and his eyebrows pulled together creating an almost perfect line. "I'm—"
Before he could finish his introduction, a wild barking began back at the house, followed by Cerberus running straight for me.
"Oh my God!" I screamed and threw my arms around the stranger in the hopes that if Cerberus hit both of us at that speed we wouldn't topple over into the lake.
Cerberus loped toward us and sat with a sharp bark on my foot. His bony butt pressed into my toes in a strangely comforting way.
The man laughed again and placed an arm around my waist to keep me from falling. "It looks like Cerberus already knows you."
He released me and bent down to scratch the dog behind the ears. "I'm Minh. My mother, Betty, said you might need some help opening up the place this morning."
When he stood up, I took in the deep brown eyes, his wide pronounced cheekbones, and the sleek black hair that, when he pushed it back out of his face revealed thin, straight eyebrows.
"I'm sorry." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to unruffle. "I didn't expect you and it's so quiet out here. I guess you startled me."
Cerberus leaned against my leg and nuzzled my thigh. He made a rumbling contented sound when I scratched behind his ear.
Minh stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at us. "Cerberus doesn't usually like anyone. He's almost as cranky as Eugene."
"Who's that?"
"My step-father. You met him yesterday at the shop. The other three-legged monster in town." Minh chuckled.
"If he doesn't like anyone why did you bring him?"
"I didn't. He hopped in the back of my truck this morning. I figured, why not let the old guy get some fresh air?" Minh reached for Cerberus, who growled softly and pressed harder against my leg. "Weird."
"Thanks for stocking up on groceries," I said, finally remembering my manners.
Minh nodded with a non-committal smile before turning back toward the house. "Did you have a chance to unload? Need help moving anything in?"
"No. I'm fine."
"You've got a trailer full of crap. I don't mind."
"I haven't decided if I'm even going to move any of it in. I kind of like the way it is."
Minh gave his smile and nod. "Well, I'm going to clear out the gutters as long as I'm here. Let me know if you change your mind."
He walked toward the detached garage on the opposite side of the drive, like he knew this place, like this was his home, not mine. For a moment it bothered me, but he'd been here more often and more recently than I had. Any sense of possession I had about this place was decades old.
While Minh pulled out ladders of various sizes, I returned to the cabin, Cerberus close behind.
The day warmed the air, heating the tiny cabin, so I opened all the windows and doors and flipped on the ceiling fans. I worked, still shrouded in my cardigan, unloading clothes and other items I knew I'd want from the car.
I wanted Minh to leave, to give me time alone in my new home, but I was also thankful for the help. He cleaned the gutters, trimmed some of the trees away from the house, and hauled firewood from the pile into the house.
By the time afternoon had set in, sweat soaked my back and I longed to take off my cardigan. The downy feathers on my arms trapped in the heat. No matter how much water I drank, I couldn't cool down.
I unloaded some of my kitchen supplies and lost myself in digging through my mother's extra set of pots and pans that remained in the cabin. Most would need to be replaced, but the cast iron skillet was in perfect shape and made me want to caramelize something.
"Hey," Minh stood in the shadow of the front door, his tall frame blocking out the light. "I'm about done. Do you wanna grab some lunch?"
My stomach growled. I hadn't eaten anything yet and the kitchen counters hid somewhere beneath the boxes I'd hauled in. I did, I did want to grab something to eat, but what I didn't want was to spend any more time under cover.
"No, I have too much to do here."
"Well, I could run into town, grab some gyros and come back." He looked over at me and even in the shadows I could see the hope in his eyes.
"I... sure. Okay, that would be nice."
"Great." His wide smile spread across his face again, crinkling his eyes. "Do you mind if Cerberus waits here? I don't think he's going to be impressed if I try to make him leave."
I looked down at the large dog sprawled across the kitchen tile. His legs and paws twitched, dreams of chasing and running and flying free no doubt dancing
through his mind. "Sure, let him sleep."
Minh's truck growled to life and I waited until I could no longer hear the crunch of his tires against the long gravel road before ripping off the cardigan. Cold fresh air blew over my arms and the barbs of each feather seemed to spread, capturing the breeze.
My upper arms were completely covered, seemingly each pore had its own quill sprouting from it. My follicles had given up the fight so that the peach fuzz layer of hair on my arms and across my shoulder blades now sported the downy barbs of a newly sprouted feather.
In the bathroom, I shed my clothes. I needed to shower, to cool off the overheating skin trapped beneath the unbreathing confines of feather and clothing. In the mirror, I noticed a small sprouting of white behind my ear. It would never blend with my hair, but after so many months, the idea of plucking any of my quills seemed impossible.
I tucked it under my dark hair and stepped under the water. The cool droplets beaded up on my feathers, sliding over them and onto my naked body. I raised my hands and turned in the water, letting it run over me, slowly making its way under the afterfeathers and down to my flesh. It rained over me, bringing my body temperature back down so I could think again. I washed my hair, careful not to scrub the new white growth too hard, and poured a small amount of dish soap on a washcloth to gently run over my arms. The suds ran down my back, over my shoulder blades and the quills sprouted there.
I wonder when my legs will sprout feathers. Some of the ones on my arms have begun encroaching on my chest, forcing me to consider what kind of neckline I can wear. What will I do when the day comes that I can no longer hide? Will I live up here in seclusion, separated from the world?
The idea depressed me, but I couldn't bring myself to part with my secret, to defile myself by removing what grew naturally.
I turned off the water, my mind lost in thoughts of hermits in caves and trolls under bridges. What did modern day monsters do to survive? Could I order groceries online all the way out here? I doubted I could live on my inheritance indefinitely. Someday I'd need to work. Perhaps I could do something online. Did I even have high speed Internet? I hadn't thought to check.
Lost in thought, I wrapped a towel around my body and gathered my clothes. The small cabin didn't have a master bath, so I walked out into the living room toward the bedroom where I'd left my suitcase.
"Isha?" Minh's eyebrows shot up so high on his forehead they disappeared beneath his black hair and his usually narrow eyes rounded as they stared.
"Oh my god!" I screamed and ran to my bedroom. How was he back? I'd been so careful, so deliberate with everything I did to avoid anyone knowing. Now would come the pitchforks and torches. I'd be tied to the dock as the rabid townspeople set it on fire and burned alive.
Cerberus barked outside my door.
"Isha, I'm sorry I startled you." Minh said through the wooden barrier between me and absolute destruction.
"Ok, you can go away now." I forced the words out as I held my breath, my heart beating so hard it ached in my chest.
"I just got back, I didn't think you'd be walking around naked." He chuckled again, but his voice was tight, not the open sound from that morning.
"It's fine, I'm not upset. No problem. Why don't you just take off though, I think we're done today."
"Isha..." The unasked question hung in the air like mist over the cove. It seeped into my pores, chilling my bones.
"Go away." I whispered, clutching the towel.
Cerberus whined and scratched at the door again.
"The dog doesn't want to leave yet." Minh said.
"The dog can stay. You can't."
"I... okay. Have a good day Isha."
I listened to his footsteps as he crossed the living room and the bang of the front door closing. The crunch of the gravel faded out and I could finally breathe.
Cerberus scratched and whimpered until I opened the door enough to let him in. He sat with me on the hard wooden floor as I stared at nothingness and waited. Eventually, in spite of the hardness of the floor, I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.
I woke late in the evening with my stomach growling. I still hadn't eaten anything. Cerberus lay on the floor beside me, his oversized head draped across my leg and his one front paw over his nose.
"I'm a little chilly too, boy." I sat up and scratched his ears.
The house was dark and quiet. All the windows were open, letting in the cool evening air. The hypnotic lap of the water against the dock synchronized with crickets and the other evening sounds.
I pulled on a tank top and jeans. The feathers kept my top half warm enough and I was tired of covering them. Cerberus followed me as I grabbed the gyro and soda from the table and walked out to the dock.
"You're probably hungry too," I said as I sat and unwrapped the sandwich.
He laid down beside me with bright eyes and a lolling tongue.
As I ate, I picked apart the pita and fed pieces of meat to the dog who had adopted me. Fireflies hovered over the water, beckoning me to join them in their dance.
Dusk filled the sky with blues and purples as the meager meal filled my empty stomach. I had wished for so many things and this peaceful solitude was at the top of the list.
I leaned back on my hands and Cerberus scooted closer, settling his head and his only front paw on my lap. Stars filled the sky and the moon rose, its selenophic beauty mesmerizing.
Soon, even my downy warmth drifted away and the night settled cool over the water. I thought about my brother, so daring, so willing to try to reach out for more, and how different I had grown to be from the little girl who wanted nothing more than to follow. I risked nothing. I pleased no one. I was alone.
I retrieved my parents' urns from the trunk of my car, Cerberus close on my heels. I carried them out to the dock and placed them side by side at the edge.
"This is what you'd always wanted. To be with him. To die when he did. Neither of you wanted to live after that day and you never even let me try."
I removed the caps and tilted first my mother and then my father into the lake. Their ash danced in the glow of fireflies, mingling together before sinking and drifting off into the depths.
When I turned back toward the house, I found Minh standing on the deck next to the sliding doors with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I hadn't brought a sweater or a shawl out with me and now I stood in the moonlight, my white feathers on full display.
In my terror, I wrapped my arms around myself and my feathers dropped protectively over my exposed skin as if trying to protect my flesh from his eyes, when really it was the opposite I worried about.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
He stepped closer and Cerberus left my side to greet him. Minh crouched down and pet the mythic beast who I had come to think of as my own. "I didn't want to scare you again, but I needed to talk to you."
"Why?"
"Will you come up here? I can barely hear you out there." He stood again and, while his smile wasn't as broad as before, it seemed sincere.
I approached, hesitating before stepping into the light spilling from the cabin doors.
"Why did you kick me out? I've been thinking about it all day. Did I do something wrong?" The words tumbled from him in a pile that gathered at his feet.
I stared at him in confusion. What did he do wrong?
"I mean, I know I saw you in just a towel, but I wasn't trying to... I mean, I didn't plan that." He ducked his head.
"Are you fucking with me?" I asked, anger growing in my chest.
"What?" His head snapped up and his eyes met mine.
"Is this some kind of game? Why are you here?"
"To apologize for startling you."
"So you startle me again?" I drop my arms, forgetting my feathers until they move with me, deeply connected to the nerves along my arms and back. "Did you just want another look?" I hold my arms out, letting the longer feathers on my triceps dangle their full length.
Minh frowned. "I did.
I mean, I do, I do want another look. They're beautiful. But that's not why I came back."
"Beautiful?" It was a word I'd always associated with my anomaly, my growths, my deformity, but not something I ever imagined someone else would say. I dropped my arms to my sides.
He stepped closer and I had to look up. His strong features, his broad shoulders, he was the beautiful one.
"I didn't want you to be upset." He finally said, our bodies close together.
"I'm not. I mean, I am, but not at you really."
He reached out and took my hand in one of his own. It was cool, like the night, and when he leaned down to kiss me, every feather on my body fluttered.
I woke early the next morning to find Minh staring at me. He had his head cradled in his hand as his eyes roamed over my naked body. When I looked down, I found my arms were covered in pin feathers. They looked like shiny blue quills and spread across my chest, stopping just above my breasts.
I sat up and held out my arms, the full feathers on the backs of my arms had grown and I could feel the air in the room as it moved across each one. The pin feathers were surrounded by small downy white sprouts.
"What happened?"
Minh ran a hand over the silky growths before bringing it up to cup my face. "You somehow became even more stunning."
I shook off his touch and climbed out of bed. The long feathers which had before only come to my elbows hung past my knees. They were heavy but I found my arms were strong enough to hold them. From by breasts down remained feather free.
"Are they everywhere?" I turned trying to see my back and Minh laughed.
"You look like Cerberus chasing his tail!"
At the sound of his name, the old dog sleeping at the foot of my parents' bed raised his head and snorted.
Outside, I could hear the birds calling, the wind rustling through the trees. Through the window I watched as the last of the fireflies began to disappear.
I ran after them, Minh following behind me, the throw from the bed wrapped around his waist.
"What are you doing?" he called.
UnCommon Bodies: A Collection of Oddities, Survivors, and Other Impossibilities (UnCommon Anthologies Book 1) Page 24
