Charlotte made short work of loading the rest of the dishes. When the counters were cleaned and the dishwasher was swishing through its cycle, she took off her apron. After hanging it up, she walked to her small desk in the living room and settled herself in.
She opened the Bible to the last place she had been reading, realizing, with a start, how long it had been since she’d read it last. Over a week.
No wonder she was feeling out of sorts.
She bowed her head in a moment of prayer, waited for her mind to rest from its busy wandering and then started reading.
As she read, she felt her world slow, felt herself get centered again.
“If you have any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.” Charlotte paused there a moment, thinking of how easy it had been to apply this particular passage to fellow church members. It was often easy to look at people who were good, caring and kind—people who spent their energy doing God’s work—and think of them as better than she was.
But what about her family? What about her grandchildren?
Did she put them first? Did she think of them with humility?
Or did she, as Bob and Pete both said, worry too much about what other people think?
Was that so bad? Was it wrong to let the standards of other people affect the decisions you make?
But what if she let the opinion of others interfere with her tenderness and compassion for the people entrusted to her?
Charlotte read and reread the passage, struggling with the words and with her own reaction to them. And as she did, one thing became clear to her. One thing that she could rectify right here, right now.
When Anna was railing against Emily for what she had done to her daughters, Charlotte should have stuck up for Emily. What Emily had done wasn’t wrong, or sinful, or evil. She had made two little girls happy by making them pretty. Anna’s reaction was, as Bob put it, over the top.
Charlotte knew she had let her feelings toward Pete and his relationship with Miss Grienke and her disappointment with Sam, all color her reaction to Anna’s misplaced anger. And Emily had been the one to pay the price.
Charlotte gently lowered her head. Dear Lord, she prayed, opening her heart and mind to her God. I know I need to humble myself again. I was foolish and caught up in other people’s opinions of my family. Grant me a heart that loves my family and balances their needs against the needs and opinions of others whose faith is stronger and more established.
And when she was done, she closed her Bible and walked up the stairs.
Chapter Eighteen
Charlotte rapped lightly on Emily’s door. “Honey, I need to say something to you. Can I come in?” A moment of silence met her question, but Charlotte waited.
“Sure. It’s your house.”
No, honey, it’s your house too, Charlotte wanted to say, but she merely opened the door. Emily slouched on her bed, punching buttons on her cell phone. Texting again. Reaching out to someone who hopefully understood her and cared about her. The shirt she and Charlotte had sewn hung askew on the end of her chair. Instead Emily wore a faded brown tank top over a black T-shirt. Her ripped blue jeans finished the look, which said to Charlotte, I am mad.
“Emily, I would like to talk to you.”
Charlotte let the words settle between them, watching Emily’s face for a reaction.
Emily kept looking at her phone, and Charlotte wondered if maybe she was too late, if she had missed an opportunity to make things right between them.
“Sure,” Emily mumbled. She sniffed and Charlotte was surprised to see a faint track of moisture on her cheek, a vulnerable mark in contrast with her angry clothes.
“I want to say I’m sorry,” Charlotte said. “I should have stood up for you.”
She waited to see Emily’s response.
“That’s okay.” Emily suddenly sniffed. “I probably shouldn’t have put that makeup on the girls. I know you don’t like it.”
Charlotte’s heart melted at her admission. She strode to Emily’s side, sat on the bed and laid her hand on Emily’s knee. “It was really sweet of you to pay attention to Madison. I think you have a new fan.”
A dimple teased Emily’s cheek. “Well, she can be fun sometimes.”
“I was really happy to see the three of you getting along.”
“Ashley was telling me about a second cousin of hers who was kind of annoying. Like Madison can be. Ashley said she was like that because she was trying too hard to get everyone to like her.” Emily closed her phone and set it aside, giving Charlotte her full attention. “This doesn’t sound very nice, but sometimes I think Madison wants Anna to like her. I think she’s a bit afraid of her own mom.”
Charlotte smiled at Emily’s astute observation. “This is embarrassing to admit, but the truth is I’ve always been a bit afraid of Anna as well.”
“Why? She’s younger than you.”
“I know, but she has a very forceful personality.”
“I don’t think she likes me much.”
Charlotte thought the same from time to time, but in spite of what she had just told Emily, there were times she felt sorry for Anna as well. There were times she wondered how much Anna liked Anna.
“When she got angry with you over the girls, my caring about her feelings or what she thought or what other people thought should not have been more important than your feelings. You are my first priority.”
Emily bit the corner of one of her nails. “She’s not a very nice person. I don’t know why you try to be nice back to her.”
“I try because she is married to my son. And their little girls are my grandchildren. And I love them too.”
“Well, you could always just have the girls visit. Anna and Bill don’t need to come.”
“Maybe. But the other thing I have to deal with is the fact that they are family and they are also God’s family. They’re His children too. And He loves them in spite of what they do.”
“I can’t see how.”
“He loves me too and there are many times that I can’t see how either.”
Emily’s only response was a faint smile, as if she had a vague understanding of what Charlotte was talking about but still didn’t quite get it.
“But no matter, I should have defended you. Should have stood up for you,” Charlotte continued. “I know that. I was wrong.” She laid her hand on Emily’s head and gently stroked a strand of hair behind her ear. Then she cupped her granddaughter’s face. “Will you forgive me?”
This time Emily’s puzzlement was clear and unmistakable.
“Me? Forgive you?” She frowned as she slowly shook her head. “I’m just fourteen. You’re a grandmother. I shouldn’t have to forgive you. I’ve never had an adult ask me to forgive them before.”
“… In humility consider others better than yourselves.” Charlotte stroked Emily’s hair again. “That’s from the Bible. It’s a reminder to me that I must never think I’m better than anybody or that I’m too old to ask my granddaughter for forgiveness when I’ve made a mistake. Jesus has forgiven me much and has forgotten much.”
“Okay.” Emily still seemed confused by this, and Charlotte prayed that in some small way, her apology would have given Emily some indication of God’s grace.
“I want you to know that you are precious to me. And how thankful I am that you and your brothers ended up here, in our home.”
Emily’s only reply was a quick nod, but Charlotte was heartened by the glimmer of a smile teasing one corner of her mouth.
“And I thought your shirt looked terrific, by the way.”
The smile blossomed. “I think Lily really liked it.”
“And I think Nicole was just a tiny bit jealous.” Charlotte knew she shouldn’t encourage pride, but she figured Emily had deserved a few moments.
“I t
hink so too.” Emily caught a lock of her hair, curling it around her finger. “Do you think we could sew again sometime?”
“I’d love to. But next time, we’re going to Harding together and you can pick out the pattern and material.”
“I think that would be fun,” Emily said.
Charlotte touched her cheek again, then went downstairs. Bob and Christopher were gone.
She still wanted to talk to someone. So she picked up the phone.
Melody answered on the first ring.
“I was wondering how Ashley was doing?” she asked. She hadn’t had a chance to talk to the young girl after Anna’s tantrum, and she was concerned what Ashley might think.
“Oh. Fine. I heard about Anna’s mini-conniption from some of the other women. I told Ash not to worry about it.”
“I’m sorry she had to see that. Anna can be, well …” Charlotte paused, trying to find the right word to describe her daughter-in-law without being disloyal.
“Extreme,” Melody put in helpfully. “Not to worry. By the way, Ashley’s pretty excited about her new shirt. I thought it was pretty cool too. Thanks so much for teaching her how to sew.”
“I think Emily wants to do it again sometime.” They chatted about the girls, about the weather, about the upcoming bake sale and what Charlotte was going to do about being asked to organize it.
Finally Charlotte edged toward the topic she wanted to discuss. Sam and his lack of church attendance.
Melody was quiet a moment, as if processing the information.
“Well, he was with his friends, and as far as I know, they don’t attend church.”
“No. They don’t.”
“And Sam has been trying very hard to fit in with his friends.”
Charlotte waited, sensing Melody was going somewhere and was trying to be diplomatic.
“I know that doesn’t excuse his behavior,” she continued “But at the same time, if he stays with his friends and they don’t go, it puts him in an awkward spot if he figures he should go. Do you get what I’m saying?”
She did. To a point.
“He would have had to ask for a ride and then feel funny if Jake or Paul didn’t go—”
“I think I understand. So do I not let him stay there again?”
“Nope. You just make sure they come to your place next time. Most kids are okay with the church idea if it comes from parents. I know my son Brett has had friends over and they just go along with the house rules.”
Charlotte tried to imagine Sam having his friends over here. Tried to think of what they could possibly do.
“It’s a suggestion,” Melody continued. “And instead of getting angry with him, and I’m not saying you would, but maybe, when he comes home, just act like everything’s okay. Then, the next time he wants to stay at his friend’s place, suggest they come to your place.”
“And how would we entertain them?”
“Teach them to sew and tie-dye.” Melody laughed. “I wouldn’t worry too much. Kids find their own entertainment. Otherwise, get Pete involved. I’m sure he could come up with something.”
“If he’s around.”
“Like I said, you can talk to him about not going to church, but realize he was probably in a tough spot himself,” Melody continued, ignoring Charlotte’s muttered comment. “It’s hard for kids to fit in. It’s harder for them to fit in if they’re willing to stand up for their faith, so when it comes to choosing between friends and church, friends will probably win. For now,” Melody hastened to explain. “That’s why when I pray for my children, I always, always pray just as hard for their friends.”
Charlotte let the thought sink in, recognizing the wisdom in it. “Thanks, Melody. I really appreciate the advice.”
“I do what I can. Like I’ve said before, we’re in this together. You take care and don’t worry. You’re not the only one praying for Sam and Emily and Christopher.”
Melody’s parting words gave Charlotte much comfort. Bob might accuse her of caring too much about what other people in the community thought, but when those thoughts included praying for her children, then she cared a lot.
She hung up the phone and felt an urge to go outside. She walked to the porch, slipped on her coat, hat and boots, and headed out the door.
The sun still shone and the afternoon air felt crisp and clean. She breathed in and as the snow crunched under her feet, she heard the sound of voices coming from a pen just beyond the barn.
Bob sat perched on the top rail of the corral fence beside Christopher, who was holding what looked like a video camera. Where had he gotten that?
She saw the head of a horse above the fence and, curious, walked over to join her husband and grandson.
“… So then I wait to see if the horse wants to talk to me,” she heard Pete saying as she came to stand beside Bob. She brushed some snow off the top rail and leaned her arm on the fence.
Pete was inside the round pen with Stormy, a young colt from last year. The horse’s hooves kicked up bits of snow as he went around and around. “See how he licks with his tongue and how his mouth moves?” Pete asked. “That’s his way of saying, okay, I want to talk.”
“Let me catch that again,” Christopher said.
“Make sure you hold the camera steady,” Bob advised.
Charlotte stood beside them, watching Pete working the horse again as Christopher filmed the proceedings.
“I got it.” Christopher lowered the camera. “That will look really cool.”
“What are you doing?” Charlotte asked.
“Part of my project,” Christopher said, grinning at Charlotte. His cheeks were bright red and his eyes shone. He looked happier than he had in a long time. “Uncle Pete was finally home and he said he would help me.”
“How nice.”
“So what do you do then?” Christopher asked, turning his attention back to his uncle.
“I try to get him to come to me. Sometimes, the best way to do that is turn my back,” Pete said. “Watch this and make sure the camera is running.”
Pete turned around, pulling his worn coat closer around him and waited.
“Nothing’s happening,” Bob said.
“Just wait.”
And then, sure enough, Stormy’s head wove back and forth, as if trying to catch Pete’s attention. Then he took one step, then another, and soon had his head over Pete’s shoulder.
“That is so cool,” Christopher exclaimed.
“What I’m trying to do is make it hard for him to do the things I don’t want him to do and easy for him to do the things I want him to do.”
“Sounds good in theory,” Bob said.
“Yeah, but it works if you take time.”
“When you’ve got enough footage, what are you going to do with this?” Bob asked.
“I’m going to put it on the computer and edit it, then show it at school,” Christopher said.
“I didn’t know you had a video camera, Pete,” Charlotte said.
“Got it off eBay. It just came a couple of days ago,” Pete replied. “Now I’ll show you how I get a halter on the horse.”
Charlotte watched awhile longer, a feeling of contentment sifting through her at the sight of three of the men in her life working together. Then the chill of the air started to penetrate the leather of her boots and she said good-bye and headed back to the house, just as an unfamiliar vehicle came onto the yard.
Sam was home.
He got out of the car and said good-bye just as Charlotte joined them. Jake was driving and he rolled down the window and said hello.
“Would you like to come in for hot chocolate?” Charlotte asked.
“Sorry. Gotta roll. Thanks, though.” Then he said good-bye to Sam, rolled up the window and reversed out of the yard.
Charlotte followed Sam to the house, wondering what she should say. She got into the porch just as he was shrugging off his coat.
He looked up but didn’t meet her eyes. “Hey, Grandma.”
“Yeah. It was a lot of fun.” Sam picked up his backpack and slipped it over his shoulder. He hesitated a moment, as if he wanted to say something, but then walked past her into the kitchen.
“I have some cookies, if you’re hungry.”
Sam looked around, then shook his head. “I’m okay. Mrs. Perkins gave me lunch before I left.”
“Good. I’m glad …” She let the sentence drift off, still unsure of what to say. In her heart she felt she should reprimand him, yet she knew that with each of her grandchildren their relationship had to be built step by step. As did their own relationship with God.
“What’s going on at the corral?” Sam asked. “I saw Grandpa and Chris sitting on the fence.”
“Christopher finally got some help on his project. He’s doing a video of Uncle Pete training horses.”
“Cool.” Sam gave her a shy glance. “Can I go over and have a look?”
“Sure. Maybe you can help Chris.”
“I should. Poor kid has been kind of ignored the past week. I’ll just put my stuff away and then check it out.” Sam looked down at his shoe, then gave Charlotte a quick smile. “Thanks for letting me go to Jake’s,” he said. Then he walked up the stairs to his room.
And that would have to do for now, Charlotte thought.
Chapter Nineteen
So, that was fun this weekend,” Jake said as he and Sam walked down the hallway of the school to their respective classes. “You comin’ over again?”
“Sure. That was so cool. I’d like to try it again. Maybe this time I can get a jump in.” Sam grinned at his friend. Though he hadn’t gone to church like he told Grandma he would, she hadn’t said a thing about it when he came home yesterday. Still surprised him, but hey, he wasn’t going to ruin a good thing. Maybe they were okay with him missing church after all.
An Abundance of Blessings Page 16
