I hold out my hand and he slides the ring onto my finger and lets out a breath. “It fits! I was so worried it wouldn’t.”
A laugh comes out of me and I blink back tears. Out of the corner of my eye I see Reed leave the room. It makes me feel bad, for some reason.
Rod stands and picks me up in his arms. He hugs me and then kisses me. A soft kiss. A kiss that tells me more than he can say.
He loves me!
When he lets me go, I find his mom and dad waiting to hug us and his dad grabs him up as his mother grabs me. Then they exchange us and I feel like a real part of their family.
“This is so fantastic,” Sue says as she holds Rod back and looks at him with tears in her eyes. “You couldn’t have found a better woman for you, son. Since you’ve been with Jenna you’ve come such a long way from the moody child and teenager you were. She’s been a very good influence on you. Congratulations.”
And with her words I see a flash of anger in his eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t give her all the credit, Mom.”
Then Jason adds, “I’d give her most of it.” He laughs, but it doesn’t soften what seems like a blow to Rod.
Then his eyes cut to me. “Is that what you think too?”
I laugh and shake my head. “It’s Rod who has been the influence on me, in my opinion. He’s made me into the woman I am today.”
The smile returns to his face. I guess as long as I see him as the hero, that is all that matters to him. “Thanks, baby.”
Sue pulls Rod toward the kitchen. “Let’s grab that bottle of pink champagne I picked up for New Year’s Eve and open it. This is more special than that day, anyway.”
Jason follows along and I go to the bathroom to make sure I don’t have mascara running down my face from the tears I shed when he asked me the big question.
After dabbing a bit of water on my face and wiping away the streaks the tears made down my pink cheeks, I walk out of the bathroom and find Reed leaning against the door of his bedroom.
“Hey,” he says. He wiggles his finger at me, gesturing for me to come to him.
I go and ask, “What’s up?”
After he looks down the hallway, I suppose to make sure no one is there, he asks, “Is this really what you want, Jenna?”
“Of course, Reed. Why wouldn’t I? You know he’s changed. You know he’s okay with me getting my education now. He’s really different. I told you this.”
My body feels like it’s been zapped with electricity as his hand touches my shoulder. “Jenna, this is always how Rod’s been. He can be very good for a year or two at a time. But never any longer than that. He will go back to the way he was. He always has.”
“I haven’t always been a part of his life, though.”
“You’re great and all, but there is no one who can keep him from the self-destruction he’s always been known for. Not even a little angel like you, Jenna.” He moves his hand off me and the energy he sent through me starts to go away.
“I’m going to try, Reed.” I look into his eyes and see so much he’s not saying. “Is there any other reason I shouldn’t marry him, Reed?”
He takes in a deep breath and runs his hand over my cheek and my knees go weak. “I don’t see him getting married, Jenna. You’ve said it yourself; he doesn’t believe in marriage. I know he made the grand gesture, and I think you’ll be waiting forever to get him down the actual aisle.”
I don’t know why my body reacts to this man’s touch the way it does. I know I love Rod. I absolutely know it. But when Reed touches me, I heat and melt inside.
I can’t stop looking at his lips. They’re perfect. A slight dip in the top lip makes it look a little like a bow. And the cleft in his strong chin is a thing I’ve never really paid that much attention to before.
It’s so cute. I say, without thinking, “I hope one of our children has that dimple in their chin like you have. Does it run on your mother’s side of the family? I’ve never seen one on anyone of your family members from around here.”
With a smile, he answers, “My maternal grandfather had one.”
I touch it with my fingertip and smile as I feel heat flow through me. But I fight the feeling. “Good. Maybe one of our kids will get it then.”
“Maybe one of our kids will,” he says, then winks at me.
I hear Sue calling for him and turn. “We better go drink to the impending nuptials, don’t you think?”
“Tell Mom I’m going to bed.” He turns to go back in his room.
“Reed?”
He turns back. “Yeah?”
“I think everything is going to be okay. I don’t think you’re right about him.”
His smile is weak. “I hope you’re right, Jenna. I’d hate to see you hurt.”
I turn and walk down the dark hallway to the kitchen and find Rod has downed his first glass of champagne. “Yuck!” he says, then puts the empty glass down. “If I would’ve sipped that like you said to, Mom, I’d never have gotten it down.”
Sue hands me a glass full of the pink bubbly stuff and I take a sip. “I have to agree with Rod. Yuck!”
He pulls out a couple of beers from the fridge and opens one and hands it to me, then opens his and taps the tops together. “Here’s to me and you, baby.”
“To me and you, Rod.” I tap the tops again and take a drink as I look into his eyes.
I see it there. The commitment. The change.
Reed’s wrong. I know he is. He has to be.
And Rod will stay this way. We will get married. We will have a family.
And I will manage my body, and eventually it will stop responding to Reed the way it does.
I love Rod!
End of story. He and I are the ones who are meant to be together. Reed will be my brother-in-law and nothing more than that.
Rod pulls the bottle from his lips. “Where’s my brother?”
Sue starts to leave the kitchen to go find him, so I say, “I saw him as I was leaving the bathroom. He said he’s going to bed.”
Jason looks at his watch. “At ten. Is he feeling well?”
I shrug my shoulders and take another drink. Rod puts his arm around me. “He’s just jealous.”
My body goes tense. “No.”
Rod nods. “He’s always been jealous of me, baby. No big deal. Whatever I had, he wanted. My big wheel, my G.I. Joes, my first car.”
“He doesn’t want me, Rod.” I take another drink.
The laugh that comes from deep in his chest rattles my body and he tightens his hold on me. “The hell he doesn’t. But you belong to me and always will.”
Sue interrupts him, “Stop talking like that, Rod. Your brother doesn’t want to take your girlfriend away from you. He’s being silly, Jenna. Don’t listen to him. And, Rod, what have I told you about saying Jenna belongs to you? She’s a human being; she belongs to no one.”
He levels his eyes on me. “You do belong to me, don’t you?”
I nod and love the smile I see go all over his face. His lips touch mine and I lean into the kiss.
I hear Sue say, “Don’t give into him, Jenna. Stand firm. You’re a human being, not a possession.”
Rod used to treat me like that. Not anymore, though. Not since that day. And I don’t see him going back to that.
When Rod tells me I belong to him, it hits me as if he’s really saying he loves me. That’s how I take it, anyway.
As he lets the kiss end, I look at Sue, “It’s okay. I know what he means when he says it.”
Rod moves his arm off my shoulders and takes my hand. “It means you belong to me. Just like I said. I think it’s time to hit the road, baby. It’s been a long couple of nights. I’m still kind of nursing that hangover I woke up with this morning.”
“Bye,” I say as he pulls me to the front door.
His parents say their goodbyes and wave. As we move through the living room, I see Reed in the dark hallway. I lift my hand and wave and he waves back.
I can’t see his expression
; he’s merely a shadow in the dark at the end of the long hallway. But I can feel his emotion from here.
And it’s sad.
What if Rod’s right? What if Reed really does want me?
Then I push the thought out of my head. It doesn’t matter, anyway. I am with Rod. I am marrying Rod.
So what if Rod doesn’t bring out the same heat in my body when he touches me that Reed does?
Rod brings out other things in me. Things like compassion and empathy.
Those are good things too!
Chapter 10
JENNA
Sun streams through the curtains that have been left open for some reason. I don’t recall leaving them open, but I don’t recall much about last night, to be honest.
Rod and I had way too much to drink, it seems. And it seems like I’ve slept most of the morning away.
My head aches as I turn to the side to pick up my cell phone and see what time it is. When my eyes finally focus, I see it’s nearly noon.
I turn back over and run my hand over Rod’s pillow, still dented where his head was
The poor man had to get up and go to work!
Dragging myself out of bed, I make my way to the bathroom, where I start the shower. Brushing my teeth as the water warms up, I notice some things are missing.
Rod’s toothbrush is gone from the holder.
I look in the trashcan to see if he tossed it for some reason. But I don’t see it in there. I rinse my mouth out and look around and notice his deodorant is also missing from its usual place on the shelf.
As I open the medicine cabinet, the new package of razors I bought him the other day is gone, and so is the bottle of acetaminophen.
My heart starts pounding hard as I walk out of the bathroom and go to the closet. Half his clothes are gone. The work uniforms are all that are left. His work boots are placed neatly on the floor, but his other shoes are gone.
I kind of fall backward until my legs hit the side of the bed, then I fall onto it.
He’s left me!
After a few minutes, I shake my head to try to clear it. “No, he wouldn’t just leave me.”
I jump up and run to the bathroom and turn the water off, go to grab a dress and pull it on, then open my drawer and pull out a pair of panties. Slipping on my sandals, I run out of the house to go to the garage he works at.
My pace is fast as I walk down the street. The place is about a mile away, and I don’t want to show up all sweaty and panicked.
He has to be there!
I can’t remember so much about last night. Maybe he told me he had to go somewhere for his job and be there overnight.
But why are so many of his clothes gone, and none of them work related?
After turning a corner, I can see far enough down the street the garage is on and usually, I can see his old Ford from here. But I don’t see it now.
My feet start moving faster on their own and now I’m running as fast as I can. I run into the parking lot and the smell of oil hits my nostrils. Then I see his truck is not here.
One of the guys he works with sees me and comes out. “Hey! Where the hell is Rod?”
I can barely breathe. “He’s not here?”
He shakes his head. “We’ve been calling him since eight this morning and sending him texts. He hasn’t answered. I was going to come over to your house when I got off for lunch to see what the hell’s wrong with him.”
I have to lean over and put my hands on my knees and try to catch my breath. My heart is pounding, and my head is going very light.
Once I’ve regained my air, I stand up. “He’s gone. He left. Has he told you anything?”
The man I’ve never really been introduced to but know as Craig looks at me and shakes his head. “Rod is a quiet man. No one knows anything.”
“I have to go. If I can find him, I’ll let you know,” I say, then turn to go back home.
As I get into the house, which seems very empty now, I go back to the bedroom and get my phone. Calling his mother seems like the next logical step.
“Hi, Jenna,” Sue answers.
“Sue, do you know where Rod is?”
I cross my fingers, but her words let me down, “No. Why?”
“His things are gone. And he didn’t go to work. He won’t answer their calls or texts.”
“Did you two have a fight?” she asks.
“Not that I know of. I mean, we drank a lot last night, and much of it is a blank. But we haven’t fought in a long time, so I can’t see why we would’ve. Can you try to call him?”
“Yes. I’ll tell Jason and we’ll see if we can’t find him, dear. I’ll talk to you soon.”
I call Rod next and it goes straight to voicemail. I text him. Baby, where are you?
My hand is shaking as I place the phone back on the nightstand and stare at it as if it’s a magic looking glass that will tell me where the man I love is.
An hour passes as I stare at the phone. Then it rings and I grab it without taking the time to see who it is. “Rod!”
“It’s Reed, Jenna. What’s happened? Mom called me and said Rod’s left you.”
“Did she talk to him? Did he tell her that?” I ask as I fall back on the bed.
“No. She just said you told her he was gone and his things were gone and he’s not answering their calls. I tried to call him too, and he’s not answering me either.”
“Reed, I got very drunk last night. I can’t remember much at all.”
“Damn, Jenna. I’ve never even seen you get tipsy. Have you two been fighting?”
“Not at all. It’s been three months since we got engaged and we haven’t fought even once.” I feel my bottom lip beginning to quiver. “Reed, I feel lost.”
“Jenna, everything will be okay. This isn’t the first time Rod’s disappeared.”
“It’s not?” I sit up and wipe my eyes, as a few tears have slipped out.
“No, it’s not. When he was eighteen, he left for six months. No one knew where he was, and the man refused to tell anyone where he’d been. When he was twenty, he left and came back a little after his twenty-first birthday.”
I met Rod six months after that. And now I do recall him not being around for about four months when he was twenty-two as well.
“Reed, what is it he does, do you think?”
“I’ve always thought drugs were involved in it. And that’s what our parents think too. Is he doing drugs at home, Jenna?”
“No. He drinks and smokes cigarettes, but that’s all. Do you think he has a secret drug problem?” I hold my stomach, as it aches so badly.
Reed’s voice is shaky as he says, “I’m pretty sure he does, Jenna. I’m sorry. I tried to get you to understand he’s not a reliable man. You deserve better.”
“But we’ve been together a little over three years, Reed. That’s a long time to be stable. How could he do this to me?” And then the tears take over and I can’t even see, as there are so many.
“I’m sorry, Jenna. I really am,” he says. “Keep up your schoolwork. Don’t let this stop you or slow you down. I’ll keep it all paid for. Just don’t let him doing this stop you from going on and doing what you need to do to be the person you want to be.”
“I have to go,” I say, then put the phone down and cry into Rod’s pillow.
The apple scent is still there from the shampoo. I take in jagged breaths as I try to get what’s left of him into my body and into my soul.
I don’t know how I can go on. I don’t know how I can live not knowing if he’s okay.
How will I ever be whole again? How will I ever trust again?
The day turns into night and back into day again before I can pull my weak body out of our bed.
I have soaked his pillow with my tears, so many more than I knew I had. I can hear someone knocking at the front door and manage to get to it.
Sue and my mother are standing on the other side of the screen door. Both wear sorrowful expressions. Mom pulls the screen open an
d they come inside.
I try to turn and walk away, but they have me in their arms then, and I start crying all over again. “I can’t do this.”
Their hands run through my hair and over my back as they murmur things like, it’ll be okay, and, you will get over this.
I won’t get over this!
Not ever!
Then anger spreads like a wildfire through me and I pull out of their arms. “Sue, how could no one have ever told me that Rod disappears like this?”
My mother looks at me with a confused expression. “Jenna, this town is tiny. You knew he did this kind of thing. Why are you asking her that question? The man had a bad reputation. You knew he was into questionable activities. It’s the main reason your father and I cautioned you so much about moving in with him.”
Sue takes my hand. “Jenna, I told you he was difficult. I didn’t know you were unaware of his past.”
“How did you make it when he disappeared those times, Sue? I have to know how I’m going to be able to live not knowing if he’s okay.” My hand shakes in hers.
“Prayers. That, and hope.” Sue pulls me to sit down on the sofa with her and my mother takes the other side and runs her hand over my leg. “It nearly killed me the first time. He left right after his graduation ceremony. We thought he was coming to meet us at the party we threw him at the gun club out on the old Freeman ranch.”
“Let me guess,” I say. “He never showed up, and when you went home, his things were gone.”
She nods. “Then we at least knew he wasn’t kidnapped or something awful like that. We reported him missing and the police never found out a thing. One day the door opened and in he walked. When we asked where he had been, he told us to lay off him or he’d leave again. So we shut up.”
“I can’t live like this,” I say.
My mother pats my leg. “And you shouldn’t. Even if he comes back, Jenna, you shouldn’t take him back. No one should have to put up with this kind of thing.”
I look at Sue, who nods at me. “I hate to say that. But what your mother is saying is for the best. You deserve better, Jenna. Rod is a destructive man. He’s always been hard to get to. And damn hard to understand. I can’t blame drugs for it all. He was an odd little boy.”
Rockstar Untamed: A Single Dad Virgin Romance Page 35
