Black Tears

by Woods, Karen

  Sue took Misty to the little side office now and checked her emails on the computer as Misty gazed round the room. The refuge was looking so good these days and all the walls were painted a soft lemon colour. Sue and Misty had now got funding from the local council and things that seemed only a dream in the past were now possible. The family room had a dark brown leather settee in it and a television. The chocolate carpet looked so fluffy and new and Misty always wanted to lie on it and stroke it. The place itself was very homely and any family would have been proud of it. For many families staying at the refuge was a luxury compared to where they’d come from. The games room for the children was incredible and it had lots of different gadgets. The Playstation was the main one that caused all the arguing. Sue had once gone into the room weeks before and discovered two lads rolling about the floor fighting over the control pad. They were really going for it as well as she walked in. The biggest lad, who could have only been thirteen, was sat on top of the smaller one and was pummelling his face with great force as the other boy screamed out at the top of his voice.

  “Get off me ya daft twat. It dunt belong to you. It’s here for all of us, not just you, so get the fuck off me.” The other lad shook him about like a rag roll and only stopped when he saw Sue approaching and quickly dismounted him leaving the other lad free to get up and challenge him once again. All hell broke loose then and they both ran at each other with full force looking like two raging bulls. Sue had to jump between them as they tried to punch and kick one another. One of the kicks landed right on Sue’s shin and she yelled with pain as she tried to separate them. It was only when a parent heard the screams from another room that Sue was rescued. The parent, who had heard the screams, alerted the other parents who were seated in the family room and they all came running to help. The two mothers of the boys dragged their children away and the older lad’s mam smacked him right across the head shouting at him at full pelt.

  “Do you think I fucking need this at the moment? I’ve had enough fucking violence in my life to last me a life time. I don’t need you starting it as well. What the fuck are you fighting for anyway?” The lad opened his mouth and the words trailed off his tongue like an express train leaving the station. He didn’t even stop for breath as he tried to get his side of the story heard. The other boy’s mother was nursing her son’s wounds as she tried to listen what had gone on but with all the shouting going on she couldn’t make sense of anything the lad was saying. Sue shouted for everyone to be quiet and the room filled with silence. They’d never seen Sue like this before and they knew she meant business. Sue bent towards her leg and rubbed at her shin as she tried to calm the situation down further.

  “Right,” she said to the older boy who was stood with a cocky look on his face.

  “Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?” The other lad started shouting his bit of evidence out and Sue looked at him before telling him to be quiet and his turn would come next. The older lad now started to speak with his mother stood by his side, ready to slap him in case he started getting lippy.

  “I had the control pad first and this little nob head thinks he can walk in and chat shit to me. I told him to wait his turn but he still stood there pecking my head. He wound me up and now he’s got his arse kicked because of it.” The other lad was now chomping at the bit to speak and Sue finally gave him the go ahead. The younger lad held his arms out at the side of him as he spoke and jumped around in his space as if he had a stone in his shoe.

  “Nar, no way was it like that, ya muppet,” he shouted. “I was on it first and he came over and tried to nick it off me thinking I was just gonna give it him.” The other lad grinned at him and remained at the side of his mother, knowing he was going to get away with the actions he’d committed. Sue now moved the other housemates to another room and asked both women to stay with their sons to sort the mess out. There was still some shouting for a while until Sue raised her voice again and told them to sit down. Sue had learnt to deal with these kinds of situations on a course she’d just completed and this was her first chance to put her knowledge to the test. She started with the younger boy first and stopped any reply he tried to make. She remained calm throughout the talk and at the end of it the two lads shook hands. Both parents apologised to each other and a new rota was made for the use of the Playstation. Each child in the refuge had a designated time for it and the system worked well.

  Misty listened to the story and laughed. They’d both come so far since they had met. Sue was getting married the following week and all her dreams had come true since she had met John. John had been everything she’d ever dreamed of and in him she’d found her soul mate. The days that lay ahead was going to be so stressful for Sue but Misty had promised her she would be by her side all the way.

  Misty looked through the window and gazed at the grassy area outside. Everything looked so peaceful and tranquil and her thoughts wandered off to a place when she’d felt happier. This pregnancy had really played with her emotions. One day she would be so happy and the next she’d be sat in tears. This baby inside her was a reminder of her past and she wondered if she could ever love her baby the way she was supposed to. She tried to imagine the baby in her arms so many times before and her stomach turned at the thought of it. She kept her thoughts to herself though, because who could she ever confide in and tell the dreadful truth. Sue finished her emails and the rest of the day was spent trying on and having her bridesmaid dress altered. Misty looked like a pumpkin in hers and the colour peach did nothing for her complexion but it was Sue’s big day and she didn’t want to moan.

  They both left the refuge and headed for Sue’s home. Sue looked like a bag of nerves as she drove in the traffic and she yelled at the driver in front of her to get a fucking move on. Misty smiled as she told her to calm down and she laughed telling her she already knew she’d become a stress head and couldn’t help the way she was feeling inside.

  Sue stood in her wedding dress in the front room and twirled about like a princess showing off her new dress to its full beauty. She looked amazing and the dress was like something she’d only seen in the movies. The dress slid off her shoulders like butter melting onto a piece of toast. The ivory dress had lots of diamond sequins scattered all over it and at a glance, it looked like snowflakes had landed on it. The woman who was doing the alterations pulled a tissue from her pocket and wiped her eyes as she looked at Sue in her dress. She told her she looked amazing and it reminded her of herself many years ago when she had stood posing in her wedding dress. Misty too felt emotional and stood to wrap her arms round her friend’s shoulders to congratulate her.

  “You look amazing Sue,” she whispered and Sue squeezed her with all her might. The words were few and they both tried to hold back the tears. Sue lifted her head and started to speak.

  “Orr fucking hell, look at us we’re emotional wrecks. Imagine us on the wedding day.” The tears now turned to laughter and even the old woman started to laugh at the state of them both. The wedding was to be held at St Malachy’s church in Collyhurst. This was a place chosen by John as he’d had been brought up in the area and still lived there today. John lived and grew up in Collyhurst and his parents were the owners of a local pub called the Robert Tinker. The pub itself was situated on a hill and in the middle of a council estate that was on a street called Dalton Street. John had spoken endlessly to her of the times he’d spent growing up there and she could tell by his stories that he’d had a happy childhood. She remembered he’d told her of a place called Bob’s hill at the back of the Robert Tinker pub, that was near Gratts, and spoke of all the adventures he’d had there. Bob’s Hill was somewhere he’d promised to take Sue hundreds of times but as of yet he hadn’t kept his promise.

  Sue had been to the pub several times and met John’s parents. They seemed like nice people and they made her feel part of the family straight away. The pub was filled with local residents and some of them were lively characters. Sue felt a little bit intim
idated by all the regulars at first until she’d got to know them a bit better. She’d met a lovely old couple in the pub who lived across the road and loved the stories they told of days gone by. Apparently, Peggy and Sydney had moved into the area when it first was built. They had seen all the changes as they happened. They’d seen hard times themselves in the past and their seven children had suffered due to their poverty. Sydney had been a bit of a wheeler and dealer in his day and had made ends meet the only way he knew how. He was very distinctive and had strawberry blonde hair that he combed back from his face. His hair looked like he had applied some thick kind of gel to it and it didn’t seem to move out of place, no matter how much he moved about. He was a tall, thin man and always looked smartly dressed. When he was pissed he’d keep the pub amused by playing old songs on his comb with a piece of paper on it as the pub sung along. Peggy was a character by herself and her little legs seemed like they’d carried years of disappointment. She looked like she had the worries of the world on her shoulders and every line on her face told a different story. Peggy was also dressed smartly and she often wore a floral dress with a dark brown fur coat covering it. Her hair was a dark brown treacle colour. The roller she placed in her hair the night before had left imprints in her hair. Peggy’s eyes had a glazed look about them. They seemed to hold so much sadness from the years that had passed and Sue found herself warming to her within minutes of meeting her. Sue felt like she’d known her all her life and the two of them spent hours together each time Sue visited the pub.

  John’s parents had asked them both to consider having the wedding reception in the pub. Sue had been a little against the idea at first but once she’d been in a few times she knew the day would be fabulous there and gave them the go ahead. A few of the regulars had been invited to the wedding function and Peggy and Sydney were among them. When Sue told them they were invited they both nearly fainted. They were so chuffed and thankful for their invite. You would have thought they’d been invited to the Queen’s birthday party the way they were speaking, and they both couldn’t thank Sue and John enough.

  John’s parents were older than Sue had expected. Maureen was fifty and Tony was fifty-seven. They both looked great for their ages and Maureen always dressed like she was going out for a night on the tiles. Maureen had told Sue she was getting a private company in to dress the tables and to serve the food and Sue knew she’d do her proud on the big day by the ideas she’d run past her months before.

  Misty stood like a prize vegetable as the final alterations were made to her dress. She felt ugly and fat and felt hot as the silk clung to her like it was holding her for dear life. Misty’s shoes were lower than all the other bridesmaids as her feet had swollen tremendously and she found it hard to get any that fitted her elephantine feet.

  8

  The day of the wedding finally came and all the bridesmaids sat in Sue’s parent’s front room waiting for her to come down the stairs. Altogether, there were four bridesmaids and each of them looked beautiful. Sue’s mother was a nervous wreck and she kept pacing the living room floor like she’d lost something. Sue’s dad was sat on the arm of the chair, smoking like a chimney. He kept pulling at his shirt and telling his wife that it was doing his head in. Sue’s dad was dressed in a light grey suit with a white shirt and a pale pink tie. As he stood to look out of the window, he pulled at the crutch of the pants and laughed to his wife.

  “Fucking hell love, my knackers are squashed to death in these pants. I told you I should have got a bigger size”, he now pulled at the pants and lifted his jacket up to show his wife the arse part of the trousers.

  “If I get run over or something today love, they’ll have to cut these fucker’s off me because they feel like a second skin. How the fuck am I meant to go to the toilet in these. I would have shit myself before I could get them off.” Everyone in the room laughed and his wife went over to him and squeezed his arse telling him his bum was turning her on. The relationship between them had been so funny to watch and they constantly had everyone in stitches laughing.

  The noise of the stairs squeaking made everyone turn to the living room door. As the door opened, in walked the most beautiful bride anyone had ever seen. At first, she stood still like a statue and waited for a reaction, but everyone was gobsmacked at the princess that stood before them and were unable to speak.

  Sue’s dad stood up and was stuck for words for the first time in his life. His daughter looked amazing and he couldn’t believe that today he would give her away to start her own new life. His tears forced their way from his eyes and no matter how much he tried, his words stuck in his throat. He moved towards her in slow motion and everyone watched as they all felt the moment. Sue’s dad touched the side of her face and stroked it softly before he spoke. Sue’s mother was already an emotional wreck and she wiped her eyes with a tissue as she watched the moment continue.

  “You look stunning love,” he softly whispered. “I can’t tell you how proud I am to be your father. You look like an angel love and John is such a lucky man to be marrying you today.” Sue opened her eyes wide and tried not to let the tears spoil her makeup as everyone waited for her reply.

  “Dad what are you doing to me? My makeup will be all over the place if you don’t stop it.” Her dad pulled away slowly and she smiled at him telling him how much she loved him, as her mother could be heard shouting that their cars had arrived to take them to the church.

  The bridesmaids and her mother left first and only Sue and her dad were sat in the front room. Her dad went into the kitchen and came back with two large glasses of whisky.

  “Here, get that down your neck. It will sort any nerves out for now.” Sue took the glass and her hand shook as she tried to get it down her neck. The minute the whisky hit her throat she felt a warm feeling pass through her. It was funny but her dad had been right, the nerves seemed to leave her and she felt a lot better. Her dad sat coughed to clear his throat.

  “Listen, Sue love. If ever things are not working out with you and John, you can always come back here. There will be always a bed for you as long as you need it. I know before John what you went through with that prick of a boyfriend and I could kick myself now for not helping you more but that’s past isn’t it and I promise you this time love, if John ever lays a finger on you I will do time for him I promise you.” Sue held onto her father. His words touched her, she knew he meant every word and thanked him from the bottom of her heart telling him John would never hurt her and how much they both loved each other.

  The car honked its horn outside and they both knew the time had come to leave. Sue looked one last time in the mirror and straightened her lace veil. Once the house was locked, they both were seated in the back of the white limousine heading for the church. Sue’s dad still pulled at his pants constantly and his fingers were yanking at his tie all the way to the church. Sue didn’t speak a word all the way there, she just gazed out of the window trying to imagine how her life would be once she was married.

  The photographer captured every movement as Sue and her father got out of the car as the bridesmaids watched from the steps at the church’s entrance. Misty now got them all in their positions as Sue came to join them. Misty held Sue’s hands and told her how stunning she looked and tried to make her take deep breaths to calm any last minute nerves.

  The organ played the traditional wedding march song and the bridesmaids glided down the aisle, like they were floating on air. Sue and her father now looked at one another and knew it was time to make a move. As they started to walk, her dad pulled at his pants one last time and brought a smile to his daughter’s face. The church was packed with friends and relations and as she walked, she could see everyone’s face looking straight towards her. It wasn’t until she got half way down the aisle that she saw John looking nervously towards her. Dominic was by his side and he held his arm on John’s shoulder showing him support.

  Once she’d reached the altar, the bridesmaids seated on the front row of the
church and left her side. John didn’t look at her at first but when their eyes finally met he whispered under his breath how gorgeous she looked.

  Sue seemed to be in a world of her own as the priest began to speak. Her eyes focused on the beauty of the church. The pictures set around the altar seemed so real and she was drawn to a statue of the Holy Mary. The statue looked so alive and the woman looked so real. Secretly she prayed to her and asked that her life would be happy and without tears. The church seemed quite old and as she looked at the ceiling, she could see where the paint had peeled off due to damp. The marble floor around the church seemed to glow as she stood, and the church seemed filled with a strange presence as the priest spoke. Sue felt her heart slow down as she came back to the present.

  The priest took the rings from Dominic and then placed them on a red velvet cushion edged in gold piping. The vows were finally spoken as everyone listened. As John declared his everlasting love, the sound of snivelling women could be heard behind him. John placed the ring on Sue’s quivering finger and slowly reached over to kiss his new bride as the guests cheered with delight. Misty also couldn’t hold her tears any longer and cried as Dominic came to her side to console her.

  Sue and John both walked out of the church that day with love in their hearts. They knew they’d made a commitment to each other and to be by each other’s side not matter what happened. The guests followed behind them as they left and the photographs began. Everybody was on a high and they all shouted as John lifted Sue up to pose for a picture. Sue’s dad remarked that if anyone took a picture of his pants they would be in trouble, as he knew he looked a complete twat in them. The pants had been a standing joke all the way through the photographs and everybody got a picture of them on their own private cameras so they could show him later. The party now moved to the Robert Tinker and when John and Sue walked in, they were amazed and didn’t recognise the place. Maureen and Tony had done them both proud and the reception looked fit for a king and queen.