Black Tears

by Woods, Karen

  Gordon played with his nob under the bedclothes and pressed it into her waist.

  “Bet you’ve missed cock haven’t you, you dirty bitch?” His voice terrified her but she smiled without answering. Within minutes he was on top of her shagging her like there was no tomorrow. He didn’t seem to care that she was pregnant and had no sympathy for the child she carried inside. As he thrust his cock deep inside her, tears filled her eyes and she hated every inch of him. Once he had finished, she felt relieved and waited for him to roll off her. She had made several noises during sex but that was to make him come quickly rather out of pleasure.

  He lay for a minute and asked her for a cigarette. Once she found them in her pocket she lit one and passed it to him. As he inhaled he looked directly at her. Before he spoke, he sat up and folded the pillows under his head.

  “Felt a big baggy your fanny. Have you been getting shagged ya dirty little slag?” Francesca felt terror but knew she had to fight back, otherwise he would have known she wasn’t telling the truth.

  “Listen ya fuckin prick, don’t be getting all paranoid now you’re out. I’m fuckin pregnant aren’t I? Give me a bit of credit ya nob.” With that Gordon backed off but still kept up his snidey remarks during conversation, implying she had been unfaithful.

  Francesca started to fill him in on all the goings on in the area since he had been sentenced. As she spoke about Misty and Dominic, she watched his face change and she knew he was listening to her every word.

  “Misty isn’t that big for eight months pregnant. I saw her in town last week with Dominic and they looked so in love. Dominic looked different though. He looked like he had been working out because his body looked proper toned and firm.” Francesca watched his face change and the thought of Misty with another man crucified him. He’d spent endless nights in jail trying to come to terms with her being pregnant with another man’s child.

  Gordon closed his eyes and cringed as he remembered the love of his life being stolen from him. Dominic could never love her the way he did, he thought, and he’d planned in his mind million of times what he was going to do to repay him. Misty still owed him the money that she’d stolen from him and he’d heard that she had opened a refuge for women experiencing domestic violence with her new husband. Gordon gripped the pillow as he thought of the past and tried to keep his cool as he spoke to Francesca.

  “What are ya telling me about that fuckin slapper for? Hope she’s fucking happy with her nob of a husband. You’re forgetting I’m in nick because of that fucking slag and her husband and the so called rape I got charged with. How can I have raped her when she was gagging for it?” Gordon laughed as he spoke, but Francesca knew by his face just how much she made his blood boil.

  *

  Gordon lit another cigarette and paced the floor. The cream coloured bedding matched the walls and the brown carpet looked new. He looked at the rest of the room and couldn’t hold his temper anymore. He was fine until Francesca mentioned Misty’s name and now his mind was tormented with her yet again.

  As darkness fell, the traffic outside got quieter. He lay on the bed and smoked and smoked hoping to find peace, but it never came. His world was still Misty, and as he looked at Francesca, he hated her for being partly to blame for him losing her.

  Francesca lay on her side and stared at the walls. She hated where her life had brought her and even though Tom wasn’t rich, she liked the security and love he gave her. At that moment, all she wanted to do was to be in his arms. Gordon looked at Francesca and his blood boiled. He sat on the side of the bed and stared at her. She felt uneasy and asked him why he was looking at her like that and that’s when he exploded.

  “You’re a dirty slag. Why the fuck am I here with you? You’ve had more nob ends than weekends and I could do well better than you.” She knew he was out for trouble but in her mind, she’d reached the point when she wanted him to hit her so she would have a reason to escape and go back to Tom, but for the minute she stayed silent as he continued.

  “Go on fuck off out of here. I don’t want you or that fuckin baby inside you! You’ve been nothing but bad luck since I set eyes on ya. Go on. Fucking do one”. Francesca felt his words like a stab to her heart and answered him back knowing she would end up getting a belt.

  “Do you think I want you either? Me and this baby don’t need you, you’re a fuckin wanker. What’s up? Is it because Misty has moved on? Yeah still fuckin love struck with her aren’t ya?” Gordon raised his fist to her face and months of frustration came to the surface as he pummelled her. Her screams were covered as he folded the pillow over her face and punched her. He didn’t care about his unborn child or anything else for that matter, because all he wanted to do was hurt her. The final blow reached her head as he yanked her up from the bed. Francesca knew she had to break free and she ran at him with all her might and forced him back onto the bed.

  Her hands trembled as she ran to the door and quickly unlocked it. Gordon tried to catch her but she was gone before he could reach her. He knew he wasn’t safe in the hotel anymore and lay on the bed thinking of his next move.

  Months had passed and he could feel his anger boiling inside. He felt that he should confront Misty and Dominic there and then but he knew he was on borrowed time. He wanted to hurt them badly. Not so much Misty, he wanted her back in his arms, but he couldn’t let anyone ever know that. His secret tormented his mind as he collected his clothes that were scattered about the floor.

  As he calmed down, he knew he needed Francesca and headed back to the flat hoping she had returned there. Francesca was the only person on the outside who would keep him updated about Misty and Dominic and he knew he needed her back by his side so his plans could be put into action.

  Gordon sneaked out of the hotel and felt the cold night air on his face. He had thought about finding Misty and Dominic and facing them both there and then but his plans needed time to ensure everything was right, so for now he headed back to his brothers hoping to find Francesca.

  Gordon dipped his head and headed down Rochdale Road. The night was cold and the street lamps seemed to whisper to each other as he passed them. Police sirens could be heard in the distance but this didn’t worry him, as sirens could always be heard in Harpurhey.

  Running the rest of the way home, Gordon finally made it to the flats and hurried inside. Every corner he turned he watched his back and knew the days ahead would be no different. As he kicked at the flat’s door, his heart pounded inside his chest. Tom seemed to take forever before he answered and once he did Gordon shouted at him.

  “Fuckin hell Slug! I’m on my toes and the dibble will be out in force looking for me and you’re fucking about taking your time opening the door!” Gordon pushed past him and headed for the living room looking for Francesca. His eyes scanned round the room and as he walked towards the bedroom, he looked at Tom.

  “Is the little tart in here or what?” Tom looked at him and wondered what the fuck he was on about, but didn’t answer. As he entered the bedroom, he shouted at Tom again.

  “Where the fuck is she? I know she’s hiding so tell me before I twat you as well”. Tom shook his head and stood up looking towards the window.

  “What you going on about, who you looking for?” Gordon came to the window and opened the balcony door thinking Francesca was outside.

  “Fuckin Francesca did she come back here?” Tom shook his head and started to ask what had happened, but Gordon screamed in rage and told him to get out on the streets and start looking for her. After a small discussion, Tom put his grey Parka coat on and trudged from the flat in hope of finding her.

  Gordon watched through the window and knew something didn’t feel right. Tom had been gone ages and he started to wonder what the fuck had happened to him. The knocking at the front door made him jump and he froze where he stood as the knocking got louder. Within seconds he could hear the front door being kicked in and he ran onto the balcony shitting himself.

  As the police entered
, Gordon knew there was no escape. He looked over the balcony and thought about climbing down to the next floor but he was scared of heights. As he looked down, he could see Tom approaching with someone who looked like Francesca but before he could get a further look, the police were on the balcony twisting him up.

  Gordon tried to retaliate but the police were mob-handed and he had his head pushed to the cold concrete floor before he could speak. They read him his rights and pulled him from the ground handcuffed. They gave him no sympathy and ragged him about the living room as if he were a rag-doll.

  His freedom was over and the time he’d spent on the out was already playing on his mind. As they left the flats Tom came running over to the police van shouting his head off.

  “Fuckin hell no need to throw him about like that ya wankers”. The officer told him bluntly to fuck off and Tom knew he meant business so he stood there muttering under his breath as Gordon spoke to Francesca.

  “Make sure you get your arse up to see me. We need to sort a few things out don’t we?” Francesca nodded slowly with her beaten face and hated him with a vengeance but as they placed him in the back of the van she knew there was no escape from his evil grasp and wished he would rot in hell for the way he’d treated her.

  Tom held her and hated that his brother had hurt her so badly. They both headed to the flat entrance before the police asked any more questions and felt relieved he’d been arrested. The shouting from the back of the van sent shivers down Francesca’s spine and she hated the power Gordon held over her.

  Gordon returned to Strangeways the following day after a quick court appearance, and knew his escape carried a price. The lads in the jail told him to tell the judge some sad story they’d made up between them and hoped he could have his sentence to run concurrent with his existing time in jail, as it had always worked before for most of the inmates once they turned on the tears. As he lay on his prison bed, his head spun and his anger boiled in the pit of his stomach. The people on the outside should be scared, he thought, because now he was even more determined to hurt the people who’d crossed him.

  10

  The time Sue was away on her honeymoon was lonely for Misty and she pined for her return like a dog missing its owner. Misty had been in and out of the refuge for the last two weeks and seen that everything was running smoothly. Another woman was working in the refuge and her name was Claire. She had once been in the same situation as many of the women there and had got out of it, before it was too late. She also went to college and got all the qualifications she needed to become a support worker. Claire was twenty-five years and a single parent. She’d spoken quite a lot about her life to Misty and she admired her determination to move forward. Claire had such a pleasant look about her and her voice was always so soft and sweet. Many women in the refuge would spend hours speaking to her and she would always be patient and help them as much as possible. Claire had many connections in the social services departments, and she would often call upon them for help when a woman needed more than they could give.

  Claire often sat with Misty and knew there was a lot more to this woman than met the eye. She could tell she had a problem, but just couldn’t put her finger on it at the moment. She knew when the time was right Misty might confide in her and unburden the truth she hid inside. Misty felt the same as everyone else about Claire and felt she could talk to her for hours. She had sat there one day in particular and nearly told her all her darkest secrets, but stopped at the last minute because she lost her nerve. It would take more than a shoehorn to get her secret out.

  Sue returned to work two weeks later and she looked like a sun goddess. She was a lovely golden brown colour and her teeth looked pearly white next to her skin. The holiday had been amazing and Sue told them all about the holiday destination. She also laughed as she told them about the amount of sex she had had while on holiday. Her laughter exploded as she told them of John’s attempt to jump from the wardrobes onto the bed. Apparently, he’d climbed up on top of the wardrobe and positioned himself to land on the bed, but due to the fact he was slightly intoxicated he missed his landing spot and fell head first onto the marble floor. Sue told the story so well and Misty nearly pissed herself as she acted out the next part. She told them he was lay flat out on the floor and seemed not to be moving as she approached him. When she finally lifted his head from the floor, he looked at her and tried to speak.

  “Crash landing love. Phone mountain rescue” he moaned.

  Sue laughed as she continued and held her stomach remembering every detail of the fall. When she’d finished telling the story everyone was hysterical and came to the conclusion she’d had a whale of a time on her honeymoon.

  *

  The months passed and Misty’s baby was due. Francesca’s visit to the refuge a month before still played on her mind. Gordon had escaped from prison during a court visit and let his fist loose on Francesca once again, but as always, she forgave him and went back to him once he’d been arrested. Gordon had only escaped for two days, but it put the fear of God into Misty knowing he could be searching for her and the money she’d stolen from him.

  Misty never expecting her labour to start the way it did. One Saturday afternoon her waters broke in the middle of Asda shopping centre in Harpurhey. Lisa had been with her at the time and they were both doing a little bit of shopping for the weekend. Misty had been experiencing a few pains over the last couple of weeks and had never thought in a million years that this would be the day she would give birth.

  Misty and Lisa walked round Harpurhey market before they went inside Asda. They were stood talking to a friend of Lisa’s at the front entrance for a few minutes before they entered the store and Misty complained that her lower back was aching. Her mother told her to stop moaning and continued talking to her friend without giving her a second thought. Ten minutes passed and Lisa finally said goodbye to her friend and continued into the store. Misty was pushing the shopping trolley at first and Lisa noticed her resting on the handle quite a lot. She looked concerned and asked if she was okay but Misty just nodded and continued to do her shopping. By the time, they’d reached the second aisle her face was like a beetroot. She quickly loosened her shirt before she exploded with the heat. Lisa took the trolley from her thinking it was too much for her. They carried on walking a small distance and Misty got a sharp pain deep in her back. The pain she knew only too well and fear set in. Lisa saw her daughter’s face and realised something was wrong. As she tried to move the trolley out of her way to get to Misty, she could see a pool of water round her daughter’s feet and looked at her with concern. At first, it didn’t click what had happened, but when she saw her holding her back, she realised her waters had broken. Misty was frozen to the spot as she felt the warm water trickle down her legs. At first, she thought she pissed herself and felt rather embarrassed.

  A few people who were shopping near her noticed the puddle round Misty’s legs and pulled strange faces as they slowly passed her. One young lad and his mate made no secret that they had seen the wet area round her legs and one of them shouted to the other.

  “Ewwww she’s pissed herself, the dirty cunt.” Misty just looked at them and hung her head in shame. Lisa quickly informed the staff and within minutes, they were all round her trying to get her to move to a side room away from the nosey customers who’d gathered. As soon as they left, the cleaner was there putting a warning sign around the wet floor.

  The room where they led her to was a small office just at the side of the entrance. As they entered, all they could see were pictures of the stores employees staring at her on the wall. They led her to a chair that was placed in front of a large wooden desk and covered in paper work. The woman, who’d brought her to the office, looked concerned and phoned an ambulance without hesitation. Lisa fussed round Misty and helped her loosen more of her clothing because at the moment she looked like she was on fire.

  The pain deepened in Misty’s back and she closed her eyes to try to deal with the
contractions. The pain she felt took her back to when she had lost her first baby and she knew the demons she had feared had come to greet her for the second time. Her heartbeat doubled and her breath was like a dog panting in the hot weather.

  They all looked anxiously at her as another pain surged through her. This time there was no holding back and she yelled like never before as her mother held her hands as she stretched horizontally in the chair. The employee looked at Lisa and felt anxious knowing that this young woman could have her baby any minute now. Everyone watched with sympathetic eyes and wished they could swap places with her. The assistant paced the floor and kept opening the door slightly to check whether the help had arrived but there were still no signs. Misty stood to her feet and with one hand on the wall as she tried to make herself mobile as her mother stood at the side of her.

  Suddenly there was a knock at the door and everyone was relieved to see that the ambulance staff had arrived. They quickly determined Misty was in labour and tried to put her in wheel chair, but she told them she would rather walk than show herself up as she left the store.

  The walk to the ambulance seemed to last forever. She had to stop a few times and breathe through the pain as she felt it take over her, she was exhausted. Finally, the ambulance doors could be seen and Misty knew she could have some kind of pain relief when she got there. Her pace quickened and she hurried before the next contraction came. Just as she stepped up into the back of the ambulance the pain started and the ambulance staff passed her a plastic tube, telling her to place it in her mouth and suck on it all through the spasm. Misty placed the tube in her mouth and sucked it as hard as she could. The pain lasted around three minutes and when she took the tube from her mouth, you could tell she was high as a kite on gas and air.