Black Tears

by Woods, Karen

  John finished his drink and moved closer to the young girl at the side of him. Her face was new to him and he couldn’t wait to feel her young, firm body against him. Sue’s had once felt like that, he thought, but once she’d given birth she had ripples of fat all over her and the thought of having sex with her made his stomach churn.

  John now placed his hand on the girl’s leg and stroked up and down her thigh. The older woman knew he’d made his choice and told him he could settle up on his way out. The girl stood up and took John’s hand to help him up from the settee. He now rocked back and she had to hold on to him firmly to stop him falling back again. John’s eyes looked like they were dancing as he stood up and he smiled at the older woman as he passed her.

  The landing was dimly lit and as he walked to the bottom door of the landing, he had to focus to find the door handle. The house was an old terrace that had been turned into a brothel by one of the local gangsters. John had been using it since it first opened and he was a familiar face to all the girls. As the door opened, the double bed looked straight at him. He’d been in this room so many times before and enjoyed the company of lots of the girls in it. The silken sheets on the bed were a bright red colour and the lighting was very soft. At the side of the bed was a small table and on it were a collection of oils and different love toys. John was a fan of the latest vibrator and the new Anne Summers rabbit was one of his favourites. He had suggested to Sue to get one in the past to spice up their sex life but she just looked at him in disgust and he never mentioned it again. John lay on the bed and asked the girl her name in a slow sexy voice. When she told him, she was called Toni he patted the bed and asked her to join him.

  At first, John spoke of the day he’d at the christening and rambled on not making any sense at all. Toni looked at him and knew if she didn’t make her move now, he was likely to keep her there for hours. Toni had money to make and wasted no time with John. She started by stroking his face as she continued to talk to him.

  “I think you’re gorgeous. I’m gonna do things to you that will blow your mind.” Toni smiled at him and licked her lips. The men she’d slept with in the past had all been the same. They would talk a good fight, but when it came to the crunch their nobs would shrink to the size of a walnut whip and they would blame her for not turning them on, she just hoped John wasn’t another one of them. As she looked at John, she noticed he was handsome and looked forward to getting shagged by someone half-decent for a change. Her usual punters were old men with disabilities; previously she’d shagged a man with a wooden leg. She had never laughed so much as the first time she’d shagged Albert. The first thing he would do before sex was to take his leg off and hop towards the bed. As she watched him, she struggled to keep her straight face and found it hilarious. All through sex he would shout out “fuck the Germans,” and Toni fell about laughing when he finally reached orgasm.

  Toni began to kiss John’s neck and she could see his cock rising in his pants. A smile came to her face and she knew it would be over before it started. John peeled back her housecoat and slid his hands into her black lacy knickers. Within seconds, he had turned her onto her back and was sliding the rabbit in and out of her. Toni liked it and it felt strange that she was allowing a punter to satisfy her own sexual needs. Usually she would completely switch herself off and become numb when she was with a punter, but John had worked some magic on her and it felt like she was having sex with her own boyfriend. The sex lasted around ten minutes and it had ended with Toni sucking John’s cock. John was knelt on the bed and his hands were behind his head as he deposited his load deep in her mouth. His sexual noises were like something you could only hear in a porno movie and his head sunk back as the pleasure rode through her.

  John collapsed onto the bed and his breath was fast as he tried to calm himself. Toni fell at the side of him and she, too, struggled for breath. The sex between them had been amazing and they both felt a strange attraction towards each other. They had only known each other such a short time and the attraction they felt was weird. John’s penis was still like a missile ready for takeoff and Toni looked at him with a smile on her face. Usually men would only get an hour with a girl, but as sex had happened quite quickly between them she knew before the hour was over, he would get a second wind and shag her again.

  They both talked for a while and John looked into her hazel brown eyes. Her eyes were gorgeous and they looked like they had gold glitter sprinkled into the deep hazel colour. Her skin was lustrous and her hair was so thick and full of bounce. He wanted to ask her why she was selling herself, but he knew it was none of his business and climbed on top of her again to shag her brains out.

  Toni looked up at John as he bent his head to kiss her. She quickly turned her head and he got quite angry that she wouldn’t kiss him.

  “What the fuck’s that about. I only wanted a kiss.”

  Toni turned her head towards him and told him that kissing was all she had left to keep for the special someone in her life. As she spoke, he noticed a tear forming in the corner of her eye and he carried on in his love making trying not to make an issue of it. John flung her round the room like a dog shagging a teddy and he loved that she was so flexible. Sex with Sue had been like shagging a corpse lately and he blamed her for him seeking other women’s company. Once John had come for the second time, he felt nearly sober and was overcome with guilt. Why did he always end up in brothels when he was pissed? He had tried so many times to give it all up and be the perfect husband, but the prostitutes always won.

  John put his clothes back on and the confident man who went in the brothel earlier had now disappeared. All that was left was a man full of remorse and guilt. He looked at Toni who was putting her knickers back on and smiled. She was a cute little thing and he knew no doubt he would be shagging her again in the near future.

  John walked back down the landing as Toni disappeared into the bathroom. Once he reached the reception area he was greeted by Nicola, the boss of the brothel. As usual, she smiled at him and asked whether his time spent with Toni was enjoyable. John smiled and told her she was a good girl and she relayed the information to an older gentleman who was now sat on the leather settee waiting to see Toni as well. She was the new girl on the scene and once a new girl came to the brothel all the old punters would queue to have sex with them. John pulled his face as he looked at the old man sat on the settee. He must have been at least sixty and his skin looked craggy. As he looked closer at him, he saw a reflection of himself in years to come and wondered if that’s how he would end up - a lonely old pervert. John said goodbye to Nicola and hurried out of the door. He jumped down the stairs as quickly as he could and headed into the night like a robber fleeing the scene of the crime.

  John finally reached the pub as the guests were leaving. His mum asked him where the fuck had he been. He made no reply and pushed his way into the pub trying to find Sue. As he strolled in, Misty grabbed hold of him and started to kiss his face telling him what a wonderful day she’d had. He smiled at her and could tell she was as pissed as a fart and laughed as Dominic came to rescue him. Dominic laughed as he took Misty’s arm and started to speak with John.

  “Where have you fucking been? I’ve hardly seen you all night.”

  He smiled and told him he had just needed to get out for a bit as Sue was doing his head in and Dominic laughed knowing exactly what he was talking about.

  “Women, ay. Can’t live with em, and can’t live without em.” Dominic laughed as he carried Misty to a nearby chair and contemplated phoning a taxi. Sue watched as John approached her and she carried on talking to Peggy ignoring him completely. As he sat down Peggy greeted him and thanked him for a lovely day. Sue now turned to him and all hell broke loose, as she couldn’t control her anger any more.

  “Don’t bother thanking him, Peggy. He’s not been here all fucking night. He doesn’t give a shite about anyone but himself. Everyone’s been running round like a blue-arsed fly, trying to make the day perfect
and he just sits about like chief black cloud thinking everything is too much of an effort. Well let me tell you now, things are gonna change in our house otherwise he can book his bed back at his mother’s.” John blushed as Peggy stood to leave, it was obvious that she felt embarrassed with the whole situation. John could tell Sue was angry as her face screwed up, and he knew some serious arse licking was in order. John sat for a moment and watched as Peggy waved goodbye. Sue now turned away from him as he moved towards her trying to make peace.

  “Fucking move away from me! Don’t waste your bullshit on me because I ain’t fucking listening.”

  John dipped his head and looked at the woman he’d once adored. He knew the shit she’d been through in the past, and hated himself for treating her that way. Maureen now came to join them and she could tell they weren’t speaking. Her initial reaction was to have a go at John, but as she looked at him, she could tell he was in no fit state to take onboard anything she had to say. Sue started to speak and completely ignored John who made his way to the bar and stood with the last few remaining punters feeling sorry for himself. His dad saw him and come to join him throwing his arms round his neck.

  “Alright son. Fucking hell, you look steaming. What have you been drinking?” John smiled and flung his arm round his dad’s shoulder.

  “My old man. You know I love ya don’t you.”

  His dad started to smile and listened as he spoke more bullshit. John ordered a large brandy and hung over the bar as he waited for it. The brandy came and he nearly drank it in one go, as his father watched in disbelief.

  “Fucking hell, son! Take your time with that because you’re not getting another one.” He looked at him and smiled and started to sing a song he knew his father loved. His dad couldn’t resist singing along and joined in with him as the other customers joined in as well.

  Maureen and Sue still sat in the corner. Maureen smiled as she watched the two special men in her life singing aloud. Frank Sinatra was one of her husband’s favourite artists and as he sung ‘High Hopes’, she remembered when he had serenaded her with that exact song so many years ago. Maureen still saw the gloom in Sue’s face and tried to bring her round.

  “Things will be different in the morning love. It’s been a stressful day and you know John’s not good with a bit of pressure. He was a bit like that when he was a kid. Any sign of stress and he was off like a shot. I think I’m a bit like that as well so he must get it from me.” Sue knew she was trying to make her forgive her son and looked at John as she spoke.

  “Maureen, he has let me down so much lately. Since Bethany has been born, he’s been a right twat and he won’t talk about whatever is bothering him. I’m just so pissed off with him lately and can’t see it getting any better in the future.” Maureen looked horrified. She clearly hadn’t realised that things had got so bad between them. In her mind the words divorce flashed in front of her and she continued to talk with tears in her eyes.

  “Orr love, things are always hard after having a baby. I wanted to leave John’s dad every other day but we got through it. It’s just one of them trying times and things will sort themselves out they always do.” Sue looked at John and hoped she was right. She still adored the ground that he walked on and to lose him would be devastating to her.

  Sue now followed Maureen to the singing pair and John pulled Sue to his side as he sang the words of the song to her. It was funny because she seemed to put the dramas of the day behind her and carried on as if nothing had ever happened between them.

  The night ended and both Sue and John went upstairs in the pub. They had planned to stay the night at his parent’s house, as there was no point in going home at this late hour. The stairs that led to the front room were steep and Sue had to hold John up as he walked in front of her. His arse was shoved in her face as she placed her two hands on him to push him up the last few stairs.

  As they opened the front room door, Jayne the babysitter sat smiling. She was fifteen and the daughter of one of the regulars in the pub. John reached in his pocket and tried to search for money to pay her. Sue stood and laughed as all his money fell on the floor and she helped him try to pick it all up. Finally, after about five minutes Sue handed Jayne a ten-pound note. You could tell she was chuffed with her babysitting money and couldn’t wait to say goodnight to them both. Sue escorted her down the stairs and told her Maureen would wait with her till her taxi came. She thanked her again for babysitting and headed back to the front room.

  John was nowhere to be seen, when she walked back in the front room. She quickly looked in the kitchen to see if he’d gone there. Once she walked in the kitchen, she could see he obviously wasn’t there and headed for the sounds she heard coming from the bedroom. As she neared the bedroom, she could hear him laughing to himself and wondered what on earth he was up to. Slowly she pushed the door open and got the shock of her life as she saw him stood there with her red underwear on. John now laughed and started to do a sexy dance in the bedroom, as Sue watched with a smile on her face.

  “You’re fucking mental you are. What are you doing with my knickers and bra on they’re for tomorrow?” John came towards her and caressed her face.

  “I’m spicing up our love life, that’s all. That’s what we need a bit of filth in our sex life. What do you think.” Sue felt sick and she thought he was some kind of pervert as she looked at him.

  “I think our sex life is all right. How could it possibly turn me on, seeing you wearing my fucking stuff? I’m not a lesbian you know.” John felt neglected. All he wanted to do was spice things up a bit, but she’d even spoilt that. He now stood there feeling like a prize prick in her underwear.

  “Fucking frigid you are. What happened to the woman I married who loved sex?” Sue was annoyed now.

  “You cheeky bastard. Who the fuck do you think you are? Let me tell you something shall I. Sex with you is boring, and I get more of a thrill when I go over a hill on the fucking bus. Fucking spice our sex life up, my arse! Get my fucking knickers off and get in bed you drunken bastard.” John’s face changed immediately and he grabbed her hair pulling it towards him.

  “Sex is shite because I’m shagging you. You don’t turn me on anymore and I have to fantasize about other women to make me come.” All Sue’s past came flooding back to her and she couldn’t believe she was in the same situation yet again. She told herself to get away from John as quickly as possible but her heart kept her by his side as he spat in her face.

  “Fucking frigid bitch. No, wonder my head’s up my arse with you. I don’t know why I bother with you.” He pushed her onto the bed and yanked her underwear from him as if they were on fire. Sue now bounced back up from the bed and pushed into his chest.

  “You fucking nobhead. Tell ya what. Tomorrow you can get the fuck out of my life and do whatever your perverted mind wants to.” She slammed the door to the bedroom and headed to where Bethany was asleep in the other room. He made her blood boil so much and she knew if she stayed in the same room as him, they would definitely come to blows.

  Sue checked Bethany in the cot and pulled the blanket up over her. There was a single bed in the room and it looked like that’s where she would be spending the rest of night. Her tears seemed to be stuck in her eyes, and although she wanted to cry, they seemed to have dried up. Sue’s past life seemed to have a lot to do with the way she felt and she had always promised herself she would never end up like that again. As she lay on the bed, she knew she would have to leave John. How could she stay with him after the way he’d treated her? Sue had preached to so many women in the refuge about leaving violent partners and to look at her now she was just in the same boat as them. She buried her head inside the duvet and tried to block out what was happening but she knew once the morning came her problems would still be there and this time she would have to deal with them instead of sweeping them under the carpet like she usually did.

  John lay in the bed and the empty space where Sue would usually lie stared back at him. He
had meant every word he had said to her but now time had passed he felt remorse and wanted to go and apologise. His head was banging as the hangover set in and he could hear the birds starting to tweet outside. He closed his eyes and thought he would see her morning and before he knew it, he was sound asleep snoring like a group of feeding pigs.

  Bethany was the one to wake first and as Sue opened her eyes, she was trying to stand up in her cot. It was so heart warming watching her daughter trying to find her feet. These were the moments John was missing out on. He would be up early each morning for work, and she wouldn’t see him again till it was nearly time for Bethany to go to bed.

  Sue lay and watched Bethany and sadness filled her heart. She had to make some big decisions in the near future and she just hoped Bethany would not be affected by them. As she moved her pillows to get comfortable, the door opened slightly and John appeared. His hair was all messed up and he looked like he’d been dragged through a hedge. At first, he just focused on Bethany and slowly made his way to sit on the end of the bed. This was second nature to him now and he knew he’d have to creep, to try and build the bridges between them. As Sue looked at him, her anger was still flowing and she concentrated on watching Bethany and turned her face completely away from him.

  John now stroked Sue’s leg under the duvet and she quickly moved him with a flick of her foot. He looked at her and she knew the usual sorry treatment was on its way. Within seconds, she was right and he spoke to her in a low depressed way.

  “Sue, you know I’m sorry. I don’t know what come over me. It must be the brandy, because every time I drink it I go off my head. I’m sorry love and I promise you I won’t ever hurt you again.” His eyes filled with tears as he spoke and no matter how much she tried, she found herself forgiving him. John continued and his apology was on form. He knew how to get round her and he pulled all the heartstrings that he knew would get him back in her good books.