On the sidewalk outside of Janet’s office, she drew in a deep breath, then turned the doorknob and walked in. She crossed the empty reception area and rapped on the office door even though it was wide-open. Janet and Will looked up at her knock.
“Good, there you are,” Janet said, giving her a reassuring smile and beckoning her inside. “We were just going over the last little details.”
“Everything’s okay, isn’t it?” she asked, the question directed at Janet but her gaze on Will.
He gave her a rueful smile. “I suppose that depends on your point of view, but in general everything is just fine. I’m not fighting you on anything. You’ve been generous with the visitation schedule, probably more generous than I deserve.”
“Thank you for not fighting me.”
“Don’t thank me. I figure I owe you, and your lawyer has seen to it that I remember that.”
“I don’t want your money, Will.” She turned to Janet. “I thought I made that clear.”
“We’ve only asked for child support,” Janet reassured her. “Billy deserves that.”
“And I insist on it,” Will said, his expression defiant.
“Yes, you’re right,” she said, backing down. “Of course there should be money for Billy. I can put it into a college fund.”
Janet slid the papers across her desk. “Then let’s get the last of these signed and everything will be official. I can file it with the court this afternoon.”
Will cast one last look at Patsy, then turned back and signed the papers. Patsy followed with her own signature wherever Janet indicated.
“That’s that, then,” Janet said. She glanced at Patsy. “Would you two like a little time alone?”
Patsy nodded. “Please.”
“I’ll be in the next room, if you need me for anything.”
After she’d gone. Will said, “An amazing woman, isn’t she?”
“Yes, she is.”
“I’d heard about her, of course, but the stories didn’t do her justice. Seeing her in action reminded me of what being a good lawyer is all about.” He met Patsy’s gaze. “She’s very protective of you, too. Is that because of Justin?”
“It’s because she’s a good lawyer, just as you said.”
He shrugged. “I suppose.”
“Can I ask you something, Will?”
“Why not?”
“What went wrong?”
He sighed heavily. “I wish I could begin to understand that. I certainly never meant to hurt you or Billy. I guess I didn’t even realize how deeply words could cut or the kind of scars they could leave. I’m sorry.”
There was a raw anguish in his expression that Patsy had never seen before. “Can you just explain why you seemed to hate me so? Was it because I’m not Native American?”
“Amazing,” he said, clearly startled by the question. “I wonder if you hadn’t figured that out long before I did. I began dating you, married you, for all the wrong reasons. You fit the image I thought I needed to go someplace. All those advisers I had around me concurred. They were ecstatic about our relationship. One day I just woke up and saw it as a betrayal of who I was. I blamed you for it, when the fault was my own.” For the first time he looked directly into her eyes. “Can you forgive me?”
Patsy thought of Justin, a man whose self-esteem was so strong, whose sense of family had never been tested. He would never struggle with who he was as Will had. And he was able to share his family and his strength with her. She’d never thought it possible, but she actually pitied Will for struggling to find a place in two sometimes incompatible worlds.
“Of course, I can forgive you,” she said eventually. “More important, though, can you forgive yourself?”
His smile was a mere ghost of the trademark Longhorn smile, the one that lit up his campaign posters and would no doubt seduce thousands of voters. “I’m working on it.” He moved closer and gently touched her cheek, his expression turning unbearably sad. “See you around, Patsy.”
“Yeah. See you around.”
And then he was gone and in the blink of an eye she was on her own again. This time, she vowed, she was going to make sure she got it right.
* * *
Justin got through the rest of the day cruising on automatic. His mind certainly wasn’t on work. It was fortunate for everyone that it was a quiet day. Everybody parked where they were supposed to and no one violated so much as the speed limit, much less any more serious laws. He spent most of the day catching up on paperwork.
“You still here?” Tate asked at six o’clock when he found Justin at his desk.
“Just killing a little time.”
“Until your date with Patsy?”
“How the hell did you know about that?”
“My wife saw her picking up a couple of steaks at the supermarket. Plus she wasn’t at work today and I saw Dani leaving the house a few minutes ago with Billy.” He grinned. “Doesn’t take a genius to add all that up, and I am a highly qualified sheriff. I make deductions a whole lot trickier than that all the time.”
“You’re also entirely too smug for your own good.”
“So why aren’t you at home getting ready?”
“How long can it take to shower and change?”
“What about stopping off to buy some flowers, maybe a box of candy? Women Like those little touches. Trust me.”
“When I want advice on my love life, I’ll go to Grandpa Harlan. You may be a good cop, but he’s a grand master at mapping out a courtship strategy. Of course, he rarely bothers with notifying the principals of his intentions where they’re concerned. I’m just grateful he’s left Patsy and me pretty much on our own.”
“Once his wife mentions that those divorce papers got filed in court today, he might not be so reticent. I’d suggest you take advantage of the time left to you before he starts meddling.”
Justin nodded. “Good point. I’m out of here.” He glanced at the clock and muttered a curse. It was after six.
Tate grinned and said innocently, “By the way, I told Millie at the florist’s you might be by for a bouquet of flowers. She’s staying open till you get there.”
“Remind me to thank you one of these days.”
“Just make sure I get an invitation to the wedding.”
Justin was halfway down the block before Tate’s words sank in. Who’d said anything about a wedding? Certainly not him. To be perfectly technical, this would be his very first date with Patsy. No one proposed on a first date, not when the ink wasn’t even dry on the woman’s divorce petition. Even with all the tricks at Janet’s command it could be weeks or even months before the decree was final.
Still he couldn’t seem to shake the idea once it had been planted. Wasn’t that what the past few months had been leading up to? There wasn’t a doubt in his head about how he felt about Patsy. Like all the Adams men, he might be a little slow at recognizing love when it was staring him in the face, but once he did, he couldn’t see a whole lot of reasons for delaying the inevitable. Patsy, however, might not be quite so anxious to plunge into another marriage.
He was still reminding himself of that when he rang her doorbell promptly at seven, a huge bouquet of daffodils and bluebonnets in his hand. When she opened the door, she took his breath away.
She was wearing a pale yellow sundress that bared just enough of her shoulders and cleavage to make his mouth go dry. Her hair fell in waves to her shoulders, and moist color on her lips had turned her shy smile sexy. He swallowed hard.
“You look beautiful,” he finally managed to say.
“So do you,” she said, then blushed furiously. “I meant the flowers. They’re lovely.”
He shoved them into her hands, then cursed the fact that he suddenly felt like an awkward adolescent on his very first blind date ever, instead of an experienced man having dinner with an attractive woman he’d known for months.
“Dinner will be ready in a few minutes,” she said, turning and leading the way throug
h the dining room.
“Steaks,” he said even before they reached the kitchen.
She glanced over her shoulder. “How did you know?”
He winced at the slip of the tongue. He absolutely refused to tell her that half the town probably knew. “I can smell the charcoal,” he improvised. “Want me to throw them on the grill?”
“Would you mind? I’ll finish up the salad.”
Justin almost chuckled at her eagerness to get him out onto the patio and out of her way. It was clear she was every bit as nervous as he was. He found that as endearing as everything else about her.
He had the steaks on a plate and was about to come back inside just as she came through the screen door. They were standing toe to toe, gazes locked.
“I was just coming to check…”
“The steaks are done. I was just coming back in to…”
She covered her face and turned away. “Oh, God, I can’t do this.”
Justin stared at her, appalled. “Can’t do what?”
“Nothing.”
He brushed past her and set the platter of meat on the kitchen table, then turned to draw her into his arms.
“What’s going on here?” he asked.
“I wanted everything to be perfect.”
He was still confused. “It is perfect.”
“No, it’s not,” she mumbled with a sniff. “I’ve ruined it.”
“How? We haven’t even sat down at the table yet.”
“I don’t mean the dinner.”
Now he was more confused than ever. “What then?”
She gazed up at him with tear-filled eyes. “Justin, would you do something for me?”
“Anything.”
“Kiss me, please.”
He stared at her for no more than a heartbeat, before murmuring, “Now, darlin’, that would be my pleasure.”
He lowered his head and brushed his lips across hers, tasting the salty dampness of tears on her skin. It was the first tentative hint of a kiss, no more, but it might as well have been the most passionate one he had ever shared. Heat and yearning and desire slammed through him. He wound his fingers through her silky hair and stilled her head beneath his as he continued to explore the exquisite texture and taste of her mouth.
She moaned softly and opened her mouth to his tongue. Her body molded itself to his, every curve fitting snugly against the hard planes of his body. The intimate contact sent images streaking through his mind of the two of them tangled together in his bed.
“We have to stop,” he said on a ragged breath, pulling away.
“Why?”
“Because this is happening too fast. It’s all wrong.”
“It’s not wrong,” she insisted. “Not if we both want it.”
Holding her at arm’s length, gazing into her eyes, he admitted to himself for the first time without reservations that he had fallen deeply in love with this fragile yet brave woman. Whether she loved him, though, was another matter. What he saw in her eyes was nothing more than gratitude, mixed in perhaps with a whole lot of lust.
“Is this what tonight was about?” he asked gently. “Did you ask me over so you could seduce me?”
“You want me,” she said. “I know you do.”
“That’s not the issue.”
“What else is there?”
He smiled ruefully. “If you have to ask that, then we really are on the wrong wavelength.”
“I, want you to make love to me, Justin.”
He heard the urgency in her voice, but it wasn’t the urgency of desire. It was, he was sure, the need to settle a debt and it broke his heart.
“Not like this,” he admonished her softly.
“Like what?”
“This isn’t the way to say thanks, Patsy. Dinner will do for that just fine.”
She started as if he’d slapped her. “You think I was offering myself to you out of gratitude?” she demanded.
“Weren’t you?”
The question hung in the air, adding to the already high tension. Her expression faltered under his steady gaze.
“Okay, yes,” she said finally. Eyes blazing she met his gaze. “But it was more than that. It is more than that.”
“Tell me, then.”
Her temper died slowly and only then did she murmur in a voice so low he could barely hear it, “I think I’m falling in love with you. It scares me to death, but there it is,” she said with a defiant tilt to her chin.
Justin’s heart flipped over. With some other woman maybes might have been enough. Not with this woman. With Patsy he wanted it all. He wanted love, commitment, permanence. He wanted a family and forever, with no doubts at all.
He bent his head and touched his lips to hers, then headed for the door because he knew he didn’t dare stay. He glanced back, saw her shattered expression and almost changed his mind, but something warned him that it would be the worst mistake of his life.
After taking one last look at this woman who’d stolen his heart, he sighed, then said, “Let me know when you’re sure.”
He almost made it out the door, but her softly whispered cry of his name stopped him. He turned slowly back.
“I know now,” she said, her eyes bright.
He smiled. “So fast?”
She nodded. “Because you were willing to walk out of here when I know you didn’t want to. I knew in that instant.”
He wanted desperately to believe her.
She held out her hand. “Please stay. Just for dinner, if that’s all you’re interested in.”
“You know better than that.”
“Please stay,” she repeated.
Still wondering if he could trust himself, he grinned. “No hanky-panky?”
“Absolutely not.” She sketched an X across her heart, then regarded him innocently. “Unless? you change your mind.”
“The steaks are probably ruined,” he noted.
“We probably shouldn’t be eating meat, anyway.”
“Don’t ever say that out at White Pines,” he warned. “Grandpa Harlan will surely take offense. He does run a cattle empire, you know.”
“I’ll remember that.” She tilted her head. “So was that a yes? Are you going to stay?”
He considered the question for some time, debating the wisdom of his decision, weighing desire against reason. Finally he nodded.
“Against my better judgment.”
She laughed at his somber tone. “What’s the matter, Deputy? Don’t you trust yourself around me?”
“You’ve got that right.”
“I’ll do my best to see that you don’t go against any of those important principles of yours.”
“There’s only one principle that applies to this particular situation,” he told her.
“What’s that?”
“I don’t want to do anything that either one of us is going to regret in the morning.”
She stepped up close then, deliberately crowding him, and rested her hand against his cheek. His skin heated under her touch. “There is nothing we could do, Justin, nothing, that I would ever regret.”
She said it so fiercely, with so much passion that Justin’s only choice was to kiss her. He moved quickly, before he could think, before second thoughts could come roaring back. And when he claimed her lips this time, he knew there would be no turning back.
* * *
Until the very instant when Justin’s mouth had come crushing down on hers again, Patsy had been terrified that he would walk out the door. She had also been very much afraid that she would never again have the courage to go after him. It had been a long time since she’d taken an emotional risk. Her confidence was shaky.
She had been astonished earlier when he’d read her so easily, when he’d guessed that she’d wanted to give herself to him out of gratitude. Men weren’t supposed to be so perceptive. Then, again, this wasn’t most men they were talking about. This was Justin. He’d always struck her as a cut above the rest and tonight he had proved it.
She wanted him so desperately. She wanted the physical connection, knowing that it would come with the emotional commitment. She had been so sure that she was doomed to a life of solitude, a life on the run, an unending marital limbo. Because of Justin, all that had changed. He had given her back her life, given her back her heart. So, yes, she was grateful.
She was also wildly, passionately in love with him. There wasn’t a doubt in her mind about that now. She had told him the honest-to-God truth about that. She had known, though, that he was really asking more than that. He was asking not just about her feelings, but about her readiness to face the future, a future with him very much in the middle of it. Could she answer that question as easily? Truthfully, no. She’d made so many resolutions about standing on her own two feet. It was important to keep them.
But with Justin’s mouth covering hers, with his hands dancing over her skin and setting off wildfires in the wake of his touches, the only answer she could give was with her body and she gave it eagerly.
Clothes were shed in a frenzy, his, hers, flying through the air and landing who knew where. His heated gaze was as seductive as his caresses, lingering on every inch of bared flesh, stirring her.
He slowly slid his hand along her belly toward the hook of her bra. He flicked it open, then slowly brushed away the scraps of lace. She watched the muscle in his jaw work as he stared at her breasts.
“You are so beautiful,” he whispered for the second time that night, his breathing ragged. “I want to make love to you right here, right now.”
“In the kitchen?” she said on a gasp that was as much pure pleasure as shock as he skimmed his finger across an already hardened nipple.
“You’ll never prepare a meal in here again without remembering,” he teased.
“I’m not sure my heart will be able to take it.”
“Now, see, there’s something I didn’t know about you. You’re very traditional.”
Patsy glanced at the counter, then considered that they were both already mostly undressed. “I can change,” she said thoughtfully. “It could be fascinating.”
He chuckled. “You’ve turned daring now? In the blink of an eye?”
Natural Born Lawman Page 16
