by Billie Letts
Somehow, they’d managed to practice under the radar of ev-eryone except Mama Sim, but she didn’t tell anyone, not even Essie, the one person she shared almost all her secrets with. And though Fate and Johnny spent most of their time together on the winter quarters grounds, they gravitated to the other end of the property, where they had access to the clown cars and costumes, Johnny’s tree house, and Katy’s cookies, cakes, and pies.
So Lutie and Juan—student and teacher—were left alone and undisturbed as they reached out together, hoping to snag an impossible dream.
“Listen,” Essie said. “Did you hear that?”
Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing—passing potatoes, buttering biscuits, stirring sugar into tea. They listened. And they listened as one.
A moment later, Morrell broke into a smile. “I hear the drum,” he said.
“And a tiger,” Tiki added. “I heard a tiger growl.”
Juan stood up, his food untouched. “They’re coming home.”
Like a herd of sheep, everyone at the dinner table jumped up and followed Juan to the front porch.
“The circus,” Mama said to Fate and Lutie. “The circus is here.”
And sure enough, within minutes they saw the elephants coming down the road, each connected to another by its trunk twined around the tail of the one before it, with showgirls dressed in sparkling costumes perched upon their backs.
Behind the elephants, they saw the cat cars, tigers and lions pacing behind their bars as if they knew they were almost home. The horses, two abreast, had costumed women standing on their backs, no saddles, no blankets, only the reins for the riders to hold on to.
“That’s what I used to do,” Mama said to Lutie. “I always rode into town standing atop my horse, me in something red and gold, Prince with gold braided into his mane.”
Then came the clowns, some doing tricks for the folks on their porches to see, others speeding in circles in their miniature vehicles.
Johnny raced from his dad’s trailer, crossed the winter quarters grounds, and pounded down the road, yelling, “Fate! They’re here!” By the time he reached Mama’s yard, he was breathless, more from excitement than from his long-distance sprint. “See that?” he asked Fate, pointing to a miniature fire truck driven by a clown dressed as a fireman. “It’s just like the one we wrecked last week,” he whispered.
Behind the clowns came the acrobats, some walking on their hands, other men balancing women upon their shoulders; some of the girls—most in their teens—paraded past by doing handsprings, both forward and backward. Then came the women from India, spinning their plates at the ends of bamboo poles; and the jugglers, tossing their pins incredibly high without dropping even one.
Fate was speechless as he watched the constant procession of llamas, sheep, zebras, camels, and donkeys. From time to time, a troop of Chinese men and women on unicycles would dart across the road, some balancing exotic-looking objects in their hands and on their heads.
Following the long line of animals and performers came the passage of campers and vans. Then a cavalcade of trucks carrying equipment—the big top, cook’s tent, rigging, cables, electrical supplies, canvas, netting, cotton candy and popcorn machines—all decorated with stars, banners, streamers, and some with more costumed performers riding on the cabs and fenders.
As the last of the circus vehicles passed the house, heading for the winter quarters to unpack for the next few months, Ray pulled into the driveway in his pickup and honked. He was smiling and waving until he saw Juan standing on the porch.
As those who circled Raynoldo dispersed, the kids heading to the circus grounds, Essie back to the house, only Mama, Juan, and Ray were left standing in the yard. After Mama gave Ray another hug, she said, “We’ve got a God’s plenty of food on the table, honey. Why don’t you come in and eat while it’s still hot?”
“I’ll be in as soon as I unload the pickup bed. If I put it off now, I won’t get it done for days.”
“Let me help,” Juan said.
“Didn’t expect to see you here. From what you said to me last week, I thought you’d be back in Vegas by now.”
“Well, I got the sidetracked.”
As Mama started up the stairs, Ray called to her, “Mama, did that guy call me back?”
“Which guy?”
“From the Shriners. James Stone.”
“No. I figured he’d call you. You didn’t lose your cell phone again, did you?”
“Nope. But he didn’t call me.”
“Maybe he needs more time.”
“He’s had plenty of time. Said he’d call me back last week.”
“He didn’t phone here. Now, hurry up and get in here for your supper.”
As Juan and Ray started unloading the truck and hauling small pieces of equipment to the garage, Juan said, “He called.”
Ray looked confused.
“Stone, the Shriners’ guy. He called.”
“Did he—”
“He thought he was talking to you.”
“And you didn’t tell him the difference?”
“I tried. At first, I tried. But when I finding out why he is calling, I acted like I am you.”
“Why? You didn’t screw up the deal, did you? We’ve been negotiating since last May, when I decided it was time to sell out, and we’re close to agreeing on a price. I don’t want to let this get away from me.”
“Sorry, Papa.”
“Sorry for what?” Ray asked, his voice giving away his suspicion.
“I told him I’d changed my mind. Did not want to sell. Circus too important to our family.”
“You told him that?! Without talking to me first?”
“It is best, I am thinking, for you to keep Vargas Brothers Circus.”
“Dammit all to hell, Juan. I can’t do this anymore. It’s too much for me.”
“Yes, I know.”
“Then—”
“Let me show you something, then we will talk.”
“Well, you damn sure better have a lot to say.”
CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Mama Sim’s house came to life on the night the circus returned. Everyone knew she missed being on the road, so at the end of each tour, they brought the trip to her, making gifts of their stories from the towns where they’d performed.
When Fate and Lutie met the Vargas clan, they were amazed by the number of cousins, uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews all crowded into one house, all talking at once—a situation that made it easy for Lutie to slip out unnoticed.
Half an hour later, Juan whistled for quiet. Because he wasn’t comfortable making an announcement, he’d had Lutie write down for him what he wanted to say. As soon as he had everyone’s attention, he began to read Lutie’s message written on an index card.
“Welcome home,” he said, which caused a widespread response. “You’ve been missing.” When he noticed a look of confusion on several faces, he looked at the card in his hand more closely. “Sorry. You’ve been missed.” His correction was met by smiles from the adults and giggles from the kids, who knew English well. “Because of your homecoming, I have planned a surprise for you tonight.” Some in Juan’s audience clapped, others raised their eyebrows at his strange news, and several broke into puzzled conversation with whoever was standing nearby.
“I know you’re all tired and probably ready to get to bed, but before you begin to break up this party, please follow me to the ring barn, where a treat awaits you.” Finished, Juan smiled and bowed to rousing applause.
“Good job, Juan,” called one of the cousins from the back of the room. “You planning to go into politics?”
“This year? No. Next year? Maybe.”
As they poured out the front door and across the porch, Mama Sim saw Raynoldo sitting in the swing, smoking his pipe.
“Come on, Ray. Juan has a surprise for us at the grounds.”
Ray’s smile didn’t quite manage to suggest happiness. “Juan’s already given me one surprise to
day. I think that’s enough.”
“No, it’s not. Now, give your son a chance. Surely he deserves that.”
Mama went down the steps and started across the yard with the others, but then she stopped to turn and stare at her son. Finally, he got up and reluctantly fell in with his kin.
“Hey, Johnny,” Fate called as he and the Vargases approached the ring barn. “What’re you doing here?”
“I’m not sure. My dad told me to meet him here, but I can’t find him.” Johnny looked over at the Vargas family as they made their way inside. “What’s going on?”
“We don’t know. Juan said he had a surprise over here. Have you seen Lutie?”
“No, but I might have missed her. Maybe she’s already inside.”
“Well, come on. Let’s see if we can find her,” Fate said.
“I want to know what the surprise is.”
Fate and Johnny, among the last to enter, sat in the center section behind Ray and Mama Sim. Fate, looking over the crowd, didn’t see Lutie or Juan. He was just about to ask Mama about them when a spotlight came on, shining into the center of the middle ring.
Johnny followed the beam of light to one of the light boxes, where he saw his dad. “What’s he doing up there? He never does any tech, that’s not his job.”
“Shush,” Mama whispered.
Seconds later, Juan stepped into the spotlight holding a mike and wearing the ringmaster’s top hat, prompting whistles and cheers.
This time he spoke without the benefit of notes.
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls . . . I have not the gift for to speaking, but what I say to you is coming from my heart. Some months ago I was lucky to meeting a boy and girl in Las Vegas. Fate and Lutie are their names. Why was I lucky? Because they have teached me much about what is important. Like the Vargas Brothers Circus . . . and family.”
Juan smiled at the roar of applause.
“Now I have the chance to help teaching these boy and girl. You will see in a minute about what I am saying. Fate has listen to me tell about myself, and in my talking, we both have been learning more about what make a family to love each other.
“And Lutie has listen to me tell about wire walking. As you will be seeing, she already has been having the talent, but I am lucky in being able to help her training for the wire.
“Okay. Enough for my talking.”
A male voice in the family yelled, “Yes, Uncle Juan, enough for your talking,” which caused more laughter.
“I giving you Miss Lutie.”
And with that, the spotlight drifted upward until Lutie was illuminated, standing on one of the platforms at the end of the high wire. She was wearing a brilliant blue leotard with a matching headband covered in rhinestones.
“Oh, my God,” Fate said, causing Mama to turn to him and, smiling, pat his knee.
“It’ll be all right,” she whispered. “Don’t worry.”
“You knew about this?” Raynoldo asked her. “What the hell has been going on here?”
“Just watch,” she said.
Lutie began much as she had on the balance beam when she had performed for Juan a couple of weeks ago. She raised one arm toward the ceiling while she made a flourish with the other, letting her hand drift from one side of the center section where the family was seated to the other side.
Then she made her first step onto the wire, never wavering in her balance as she took the next step. Now she was clear of the platform, nothing but air between the slender cable she stood on and the net far below. She kept her head high, her eyes straight ahead.
She moved forward in a graceful, perfectly paced stride to near the midpoint of the wire, where she stopped, again waiting for that moment of certainty, and when it came, she performed a flawless forward handspring. While she waited for the applause to die, she stood absolutely still; then, when silence returned, she walked the rest of the wire to the other platform, where she picked up a rope she had placed there earlier.
Sensing that Lutie was preparing to try something dangerous, Fate leaned forward and whispered to Mama Sim, “What is it? What is she going to do?”
“Watch, honey. Just watch.”
As Lutie started back across the wire, she held the rope in one hand. But near the center of the wire, she transferred one end of the rope to her other hand, and Fate understood what she was holding. A jump rope.
Standing as still as a sculpted figure, she waited as the people below sat transfixed. Finally, she swung the rope, and just before it reached her feet, she jumped. Her timing was unerring, her balance perfect. She jumped again and again, then dropped the rope, which fell to the net below.
The audience went wild—whistling, stomping, shouting, applauding—all anticipating the end of her performance. But they were wrong. As soon as they realized more was coming, they quieted. That’s when Juan slipped into the empty seat beside his father.
Moments later, Lutie’s body tensed slightly, a sure sign that she had something else to show. With the beauty and grace of a ballerina, she began to lean back, slowly, slowly, until suddenly she was all motion. With an uninterrupted series of backward handsprings, she moved across the wire to the platform, where she raised both hands and then, smiling, bowed to those seated below.
“Yes, Juan. She is amazing. Can’t argue with that. A talent like hers comes along once in a lifetime. I thought I was good, thought you were great, but that girl will make us all look like amateurs if she stays with it. She’s only fifteen, though. A child. Next week she might be in California, next month in Las Vegas. Next year, a mother. No telling.”
“No, I think she really be wanting this. Think of it—a triple somersault. Not only forward, but backward, too. Have you ever seeing aerialist do such? Huh, Papa? Have you?”
“Look, Juan. She would sell some tickets, no doubt about that. She’d be great for the business, wonderful publicity, a good-looking girl that age. But what I’m trying to tell you is that ticket sales is not our only problem.
“I won’t lie to you, say we’re making the kind of money we were until a couple of years ago. Gas has gone up, feed for the animals is sky-high now, equipment costs are out of sight, so we make do when we can by repairing the older pieces rather than buying new. But parts are harder to get, and even when we can find them, we pay through the nose. Wages are higher, too, but the raises I can afford aren’t what they should be.
“Anyway, all that aside, here’s the problem. Right here.” Raynoldo tapped his chest. “It’s me. And don’t you say a word about this to Mama Sim. She’d drive me crazy trying to take care of me and I’d—”
A look of alarm crossed Juan’s face. “What is it? Your heart? Blood pressure? Papa, do you have a cancer?”
“No—hell, no! I’m not sick, I’m just old. Worn out. Arthritis, bad eyes, bad balance. Can’t even get a hard-on anymore. Old man’s ailments, that’s all. But it’s enough to let me know that the time’s come to get out of the business. Time to let go of the circus.”
“You can’t be doing that! Remember what you tell Lutie? I was hearing you. You talk to her about the parade of homecoming through town. The people coming out to watch elephants, horses, clowns. The performers in costumes, neighbors clap and waving because they happy to have back the circus.
“You tell to Lutie the circus all you ever been wanting to do, that you be hating to giving it up. You say, ‘A man can’t want more than to do work he loves.’ For you, Papa, that love, that work is circus.”
“What I meant, Juan, is—”
“Oh, I know what you mean ’cause you say to Lutie that ‘Juan the only son I got left.’ You tell to her that ‘the way Juan living ain’t no good, but guess he doing what he wanting to do.’ Bad choice, you thinking. Well, now I thinking bad choice, too.”
“So let me understand what it is you—”
“And you say, ‘Hell, boy, you have no ended up yet.’ So now I start figuring that you be having the right answer. I have no ended up yet. I want t
o be coming back to circus.”
Ray looked as though he’d just recovered from a knockout—eyes glazed, mouth agape, expression dazed. Finally, he said, “But you told me you couldn’t come back, couldn’t live at the bottom after you’d been at the top.”
“Right! That’s right! But I can train the next one to be making it to the top. Lutie. And I can running the circus for you if you teaching me.”
“Are you sure, son? Sure you’re going to stay with us now?”
“Yes, Papa. Because circus is more than business, more than giving fun to people buying tickets. Circus is family. Circus is tribe. And I am part of our tribe.”
Sometime after ten, the visitors had all cleared out. Mama Sim had gone to bed not long after Ray turned in; Lutie and Fate sat together on the porch swing, with Draco curled up between them, sleeping, her head resting on Lutie’s lap. Juan was stretched out on the porch steps, smoking his last cigarette of the night.
In her pajamas now and with her hair still wet from a long hot shower, Lutie kept the swing moving with her bare feet.
“I just can’t believe I didn’t know you two were spending that much time in the ring barn,” Fate said. “I mean, I’m down at the circus grounds every day.”
“But you and Johnny were having too much fun to be paying attention to us.”
“Well, it was amazing to see you up there on that wire, in the spotlight. I still don’t know how you did that, Lutie.”
“Because she’s the real deal,” Juan said. “Your big sister is an honest-to-Dios caminante del aire.”
“What does that mean, caminante something?” Fate asked.
“Wind walker.”
“That’s nice,” Lutie said as she rubbed Draco’s head. “Wind walker. Makes me sound like I have some kind of magic powers.”
“I thinking maybe you do,” Juan said.
