Violet realized everyone in the room was staring at Jeff. She also realized Jeff was embarrassed.
Chapter Fourteen
It had never occurred to Violet that Jeff wouldn't want his family to know what he'd done for Essie. But he was clearly more at ease with them thinking of him as a bitter loner. That shocked her. She couldn't imagine how anyone could be comfortable as an outcast.
"It was help her or have her camp outside my door," Jeff said, dropping into a chair across the room from Violet. "The twins decided she needed protecting from Clara Rabin's daughter."
"A grizzly bear would need protection from a child of Clara Rabin," Fern said. "That woman is vicious."
"I had Philip in my office today telling me how sorry he was I got caught by the quarantine."
"I'd watch him closely," Fern said. "Madison says ever since you took away his railroad business, he hates us. He'll make trouble for us any time he can."
"I'm not worried about him," Jeff said, dismissing Philip Rabin along with his wife and daughter. He glanced around the room. "I do wish you'd get someone to gut this place," he said. "It looks more like a funeral parlor than a place for people to enjoy themselves."
Violet thought Fern's taste too heavily Victorian, but she liked the room. She was startled Jeff would condemn it so bluntly.
"You can do anything you want with it," Fern said, her eyes glittered dangerously as she smiled at Jeff. "You can even choose the decorator as long as you pay the bill."
"I'll be damned if I spend a cent on one of Madison's houses," Jeff replied. "He's got more money than the rest of us put together."
Violet was relieved when dinner was announced. She didn't know how much longer peaceful relations could have been maintained under the assault of Jeff's sharp tongue. She didn't understand why he was as anxious to provoke his brothers as they were to criticize him.
Dinner passed off better than expected. Jeff sat at the end of the table between Daisy, who largely ignored him, and Madison's empty chair. He seemed to direct most of his attention to his food and to thoughts that troubled him. Ever so often he would glance up at Violet, but since he usually seemed to be frowning when he did so, Violet was not moved to offer him a penny for his thoughts.
Besides, she was worried about Fern. Her concern grew more earnest as the meal progressed. Fern ate little of the first course. She waved away all dishes after that. Just before dessert, Fern's strength gave out.
Violet was out of her chair immediately. Fern didn't seem to have a fever, but she had lost her color, her skin was clammy and cold, and her heart was beating much too fast.
"You ought to be in bed," Violet said.
"I'll be all right in a minute," Fern insisted. "It's just a spell."
"It's no such thing," Iris said. She was only slightly behind Violet in reaching Fern. "We're going to put you to bed whether you like it or not. Monty, carry her upstairs."
"This is ridiculous," Fern protested. "I can walk."
"There's no point in Monty having all those muscles if he doesn't get to use them once in a while."
Violet couldn't help but glance at Jeff. He had the same muscles, the same strength, but no one thought of him because he had only one arm. She wondered how many times that happened without anyone realizing. Jeff's expression of unconcern didn't change, but Violet knew it must hurt.
She forced her attention back to Fern. Monty had picked her up and was carrying her out of the room.
"You'd better stay here," Iris said to Daisy. "Three Randolph brothers can't be left alone without a referee, and I don't think we ought to sacrifice Violet just yet. Anyway, I need her help."
Daisy just smiled. Violet wondered how Daisy and her husband remained so calm in the midst of such a tempestuous family.
By the time they got Fern undressed and in bed, Violet was so worried she had the housekeeper send for the doctor. She motioned Iris to follow her into the hall. "I've helped with expectant mothers for ten years," Violet explained after they closed the door. "I don't know what's wrong, but something is. Why isn't her husband here?"
"I wrote him to come home," Iris said.
"When?"
"Yesterday."
"Can he be reached by telegraph?"
"I suppose so."
"I'm going to ask Jeff to send him a telegram."
"Right now?"
"Yes."
"You think it's serious?"
"Yes, I do."
Violet's opinion didn't change even though the doctor decided Fern was merely overtired.
"He's a fool," Violet said angrily when the family had reassembled in the parlor after the doctor's departure. "Something is seriously wrong. If something isn't done, I'm afraid . . . "
"Fern's mother died in childbirth," Iris said. "Is that what you're afraid of?"
Violet nodded.
"When her husband gets here, please ask him to consult another doctor. I know nothing about the reputation of the man who just left, but I have no confidence in him."
"He's the best in Denver," Tyler said.
"Then Denver needs a new doctor."
Violet had allowed her feelings to make her forget she spoke to two women who were themselves pregnant. She didn't want to do anything to cause them concern.
"I'm sure in a normal situation, Doctor Keener is quite capable, but Fern needs somebody who can give her special care."
"I don't think there is anybody else."
"I know a doctor in Boston who has taken care of many women in Fern's condition. Maybe he can recommend somebody."
"I wouldn't trust any doctor from Boston," Jeff said.
"But Madison graduated from Harvard," Monty pointed out. "He might."
Violet stood. "If he would like his name, he can get in touch with me. Now, I think I'd better be getting back to the hotel. No one has to go with me," Violet said, when Tyler and Monty both got up. "I'm sure you'll want to stay and make certain Fern is okay."
"Jeff can take you back," Iris said. "He must have his carriage. He couldn't have walked this far."
"That's okay," Violet said. "It's not necessary--"
"You can't go alone," Jeff said, getting to his feet.
Violet wanted to be with Jeff. At the same time, she didn't want to be with him. She knew it would revive all the feelings she'd worked so hard to suppress. His being here tonight hadn't changed anything. He hadn't shown her any kind of special attention. At times she wondered if his presence had anything to do with her.
* * * * *
Violet took her seat in the carriage, cautioning herself to expect nothing. But when he chose to sit next to her rather than across from her, she found herself hoping his coolness had been due to a reluctance to divulge his feelings to his family.
"Do you really think Fern is in trouble?" he asked as the carriage bowled down the rough track toward town.
Violet knew she shouldn't be disappointed Jeff was more interested in his sister-in-law than herself, but neither could she deny her disappointment. She didn't know what she had expected Jeff to say -- they really had nothing else to talk about except the twins -- but she had hoped for something.
"Yes, I do. That's the kind of nursing I used to do. I can recognize trouble without having to know what causes it."
"Will you go back to nursing if you don't get your money?"
She didn't want to talk about nursing. She wanted to know why he'd stayed away, why he'd come tonight, why he offered to take her home. She wanted to know if she meant any more to him than someone to needle because she'd been born north of the Mason-Dixon line. She wanted to know if was going to continue popping up in her life only to disappear again.
"I don't know," she replied. The thought of going back to Massachusetts to be a drudge for the rest of her life was too dismal to face. "It's either that or continue working as a housemother for the school."
Much to her surprise, she realized that hadn't been such a horrible prospect just a few weeks ago. Neither had going back
to nursing. She had enjoyed her work. After they moved to Boston, she had worked with some of the finest doctors in the country.
With something of a shock, she realized the difference was going back to Massachusetts meant never seeing Jeff again. She was horrified she had let her feelings get so far out of control. If she thought one imagined kiss could mean anything significant just because she wanted it to, then she was stupid and deserved to be left to molder on the dusty shelf of spinsterhood.
"You could always get married."
"We've discussed that before, remember? I'm too old. Besides, I'm not as tolerant as I was years ago. I don't know that I could find anyone who would come up to my standards."
"What are they?"
He didn't look amused or cynical. He looked like he really wanted to know. That surprised her. Men didn't want to know what a woman looked for in marriage. They expected any woman they asked to accept gratefully. They figured if they could put a roof over her head, clothes on her back, food in her mouth, and babies in her belly, they'd done more than enough. Jeff had already told her exactly what he wanted. He must know it wasn't anything like what she wanted.
"You'll start calling me a foolish Yankee female."
She thought she could detect a trace of a smile.
"Probably, but tell me anyway. I'm used to hearing things I don't want to hear."
Good Lord, what did she want? She wasn't sure she knew. She thought she had all those years ago when Nathan Wainwright asked her to marry him, but had she? Hadn't she merely accepted him on face value because he was a man?
"It's hard to say," Violet began. "I've never tried to put it in words before."
"You should always know exactly what you're after," Jeff said. "Otherwise, you'll take what's offered only to realize later it's not what you wanted."
"Don't you believe in some give and take," Violet asked, "in the power of love to help you tolerate faults or shortcomings?"
"No."
A flat, unequivocal answer. It was a jolt. A bad one. She knew he was harsh, demanding, critical, but she had always assumed he believed in love. She did, even though she had never found it.
"Emotion just clouds the issue," he said. "It doesn't change anything."
"Don't you believe in love at all? What about your brothers?"
"Love's not for everybody. It's a kind of emotional weakness that only the very strongest men can risk. Madison has managed it."
"Why, because he could leave his wife when she's pregnant?"
"Look at Monty. He jumps whenever Iris speaks."
Violet had the feeling Monty did pretty much what he wanted, that Iris had to do most of the accommodating, but it was obvious Jeff wouldn't see it that way.
"If that's the way you feel, you certainly don't want to know what I look for in a man, because the first requirement would be that he be deeply in love with me. The second would be that he value my opinions as much as I value his. Daisy and Tyler do that."
"It just seems that way. Daisy runs the hotel because Tyler can't be bothered to come out of his kitchens. I knew from the beginning he wasn't cut out to be a hotel manger."
"Then why is it the most successful hotel in Denver?"
"Because it's the most luxurious and has the best food."
"Who designed it?"
"Tyler."
"Seems to me you've just disproved your point."
"I don't agree, but I'm not interested in Tyler. What else will you require in a husband?"
"Why do you want to know?"
"I'm always curious about Yankees. They're such an odd breed."
"We're not a breed! We're people, just like you."
"You keep avoiding my question."
"I require that my husband not think of Yankees as a breed," she snapped. "He's got to know we're people with the same feelings and needs as anyone born in Virginia. The same right to happiness," she added before he could say something about Yankees being deficient and therefore not deserving, or being capable of appreciating, the finer aspects of life.
"I'm sure you have additional requirements."
She didn't want to talk any more. She wanted to go in. She wondered if he had come just to dispel any hopes that might have escaped his blighted view of life. Well, he'd done it. Now he ought to go home and leave her alone.
"You'll find as women grow older and see more of men, they become less willing to trust themselves to just any man."
"Would you trust yourself to your husband?"
"I would have to, wouldn't I? The laws are such that--"
"I'm not talking about the laws. I'm talking about you."
There was nothing distant or disdainful about him now. He appeared to be quite interested in her answer. She didn't know why he wanted to know. He expected a woman to abandon herself to her husband. That wasn't the same thing as trust, but she wasn't certain he knew the difference.
"I wouldn't marry him if I couldn't."
"But doesn't that mean you could trust him to make all your decisions for you?"
"Don't willfully misunderstand me," Violet said. "I don't mean to abandon control of my own life. As long as I'm well and strong, I expect to be given full consideration. That's my right as a human being. I don't give that up just because I decide to marry. However, it does mean if I were unable for whatever reason to make a decision, I would trust my husband to make it for me, certain he would consider my desires equally with his own."
"Wouldn't it be easier to hand over all such decisions to your husband and concern yourself with your home and family?"
Violet fixed him with an angry gaze. "I'm not stupid. Neither am I lazy. For ten years I looked after my father and brother, managed the household, and worked to support us. I have no intention of suddenly being told I can no longer think, or that there is no necessity for me to do so."
"Do you really want to get married?"
"Has anybody ever told you you're the rudest man in Denver?"
"Frequently. Now answer my question."
She was tired, but she was also angry.
"I used to take it for granted that I did, but meeting men like you has made me question whether that would be a good idea."
He laughed at her. He sat right there and laughed, like she'd said something funny, like he was indulging her whimsy.
"You'll lead some poor fool a merry chase some day, but I don't think he'll feel cheated."
Violet was speechless. She didn't know why she liked this man. She didn't know how she could possibly consider a serious relationship with a man who had nothing to recommend him but a gorgeous body and the fact he laughed about once a week. At her.
"Thank you, I guess. I wouldn't even consider asking why you hold such an opinion. I would probably have to be restrained to keep from doing violence to you."
Violet used to be shocked at the number of times she considered violence since she had met Jeff, but that didn't surprise her now. She didn't see how anyone could know him and not be prey to wild thoughts at least once an hour. He was the most infuriating man alive.
Fortunately the carriage pulled up in front of the hotel.
"Thank you for escorting me home," she said, trying to be as formal as possible. "It was unnecessary, but it was kind."
"I'm coming inside," he said. He got out and helped her down.
"It's not necessary."
"I know."
She tried to leave him behind. She stalked into the hotel leaving him to keep up. He did. Easily. She stopped in front of the elevator. He pushed the button.
"I don't know what you mean by the attention you've shown me, if indeed you mean anything at all. But if you should one day be interested in pursuing a woman with the purpose of establishing a serious relationship, let me tell you you're going about it in entirely the wrong way."
The elevator door opened. She didn't let the fact that a wide-eyed young man was operating the elevator stop her from saying what she had on her mind.
"You'll need to begin by tr
ying to be likeable, trying to make yourself agreeable to the young woman. It's hard for a woman to fall in love with a man when she's constantly getting mad at him. You might pretend you have an interest in someone other than yourself, even if you don't. You might say something nice. I realize that will be difficult for you, so I suggest you write down some things to say and memorize them."
The elevator door opened and she stepped out into the hall.
"I don't expect you to actually come up with these phrases yourself. I realize anything in the way of flattery or kindness is foreign to your nature. Maybe you could get one of your clerks to do it for you."
They had reached her door, but she wasn't through yet.
"Once you get about a hundred memorized, you can start practicing them. Don't try to make sense of them. You won't understand them. Just sprinkle them in with the rest of your conversation. If you do this enough times, memorize enough phrases, you might actually fool some poor, gullible female into thinking you mean what you say."
"But it wouldn't fool you?"
"Not for as much as a second."
"Good. I find it impossible to admire stupid women."
Violet hoped she wasn't standing there with her mouth open. No matter how much she was around Jeff, he continued to have the power to stagger her with the things he said.
But that was nothing compared to the shock she experienced when he kissed her.
She was too stunned to respond, so stunned she wasn't even in touch with her physical response to him. She just stood there, as immobile as a statue, angry at herself, angry at him, letting him kiss her.
"Why did you do that?" she asked, breathless and bewildered, when he released her.
"I've been wanting to do that all evening."
"But why?"
"I like you."
"But I'm a Yankee. You hate everything I am. You disagree with everything I believe."
"I'm trying to forget that. Do you have to go in just now?"
"It d-depends," she stammered wandering what he was going to do next.
He kissed her again. This time she kissed him back. She was mortified, but she couldn't stop herself. She had thought about this for days, dreamed of it every night. The fact he was a prejudiced, narrow-minded, insensitive, miserable human being didn't change a thing. It should have, but it didn't.
Violet Page 18
