by Cora Reilly
He did it because he needed it to read me better, to make sure he noticed when I felt overwhelmed or scared. That realization did a strange thing to my heart.
We kissed for a long time, and I started to feel hot between my legs. Nino’s kisses were incredible, overwhelming; he led easily without making me feel like I was under his control. His breathing deepened ever so slightly as his mouth slid over mine, and the friction sent a new surge of heat through my core. I squirmed, pressing my thighs together. If Nino noticed, he didn’t react, but his grip on my wrist tightened the slightest bit.
I put my free hand up against his naked chest and felt his muscles flex beneath my fingertips. His skin was covered with scars, and I began tracing them curiously until I accidentally grazed over his nipple. He groaned into my mouth, jerking slightly, and the motion caused something hard dig into my thigh.
I froze against him. Fear and my own arousal battled within my body. He had told me he was aroused, but feeling it made things more real.
He stopped kissing me and took a deep breath. “Tell me how you feel.”
“I’m okay.”
“That’s not a feeling.”
“I’m feeling okay,” I said again with more force. “Only startled.”
“Maybe we should stop, then.”
I didn’t want to stop, but maybe Nino was right. Even if my body screamed for more, I wasn’t sure if I could actually handle it. I felt … overwhelmed again. “You’re right.”
He released my wrist and rolled over onto his back, farther away from me. A gaping hole opened in my stomach. I swallowed hard once then a second time. I knew I told Nino I didn’t need him to fake affection, but maybe I was wrong.
Nino’s head shifted toward me. “You are upset again.”
I wasn’t sure how he’d noticed this time. Maybe my breathing had changed again.
“I … I changed my mind about the simulated affection.” I was treading across a dangerous path. Living a lie wasn’t something I wanted to do, but with Nino it was all I could have. Maybe simulated affection was better than nothing.
“Okay,” he said quietly. He angled his body toward me. “Would you like to fall asleep in my arms?”
My throat tightened. I didn’t say anything and moved closer to him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me against him. His touch was light, never like a cage, always considerate. Stupid tears gathered in my eyes as I rested my cheek against his strong chest. His heart beat a calm rhythm. Did it ever speed up? Did it ever clench when he looked at me like mine sometimes did when I looked at him or like it had when I realized he always touched my wrist to make sure I was all right.
When I woke the next morning, Nino was gone. It was already past nine, so I missed watching him do laps in the pool. I went through my morning routine, put on shorts and a simple top, and headed downstairs. I walked through the main part of the house and into the kitchen. After making myself a quick breakfast of porridge, I decided to eat it outside so I could enjoy the beautiful weather. As I headed outside, the sound of a video game drew me into the gaming room. Adamo was in there again, focusing on a car race on the ginormous screen on the wall.
“Hey, Kiara,” he said without looking away from the game. “Fabiano brought over Leona this morning. She’s sunbathing in the garden.”
“Why didn’t anyone tell me?”
He gave me a strange look.
I smiled at him. “Never mind. Enjoy your game.” I hurried out of the French doors and down the small path to the swimming pool and lounge chairs. Just as Adamo had said, Leona was stretched out on one of them, reading a book. Something about the history of the Supreme Court. She glanced up as I approached, smiling, and put the book down on the table beside her.
“That doesn’t look like light reading,” I said, taking a seat on the chair across from her, my bowl of porridge wedged between my thighs.
“It’s not, but I want to prepare for college. I’m starting in a few months, and I don’t want to be completely clueless. What about you? Have you considered going to college?”
I frowned. I was raised to become a wife and mother. “To be honest, I’ve always only wanted to be a mother,” I said quietly. “I want a family to take care of. Boisterous kids that fill the house with life and laughter.” Maybe it was something I longed for because I never had a family like that. Unconditional love was something only children could offer in our world.
“That’s okay,” Leona said with a smile. Then her brows dipped in thought.
“What?”
“I’m trying to imagine Nino as a father and Remo as an uncle…” she shook her head “…but I just can’t. They aren’t really the family type. I mean they are close as brothers, but otherwise … no.”
I knew what she meant. Nino and his brothers were more than close. They were a unit. It’s us against the world. He’d probably want to keep living with them even if we had kids. Boisterous, loud-mouthed kids around Remo? That was definitely something that made me wary. I shrugged.
“It’s not like we’ll have kids any time soon.” I pointed at my porridge. “Would you like some as well? I made more than I can eat.”
“I already had breakfast with Fabiano.”
I nodded and ate a spoonful. For some reason I wasn’t hungry anymore.
“How are things between you and Nino going?”
My cheeks heated as I tried to form a reply. “Better than I thought they would. He is being very considerate.”
Leona’s eyes widened. “Really?”
I giggled at her expression. “Really. I mean, it’s obviously not easy for him to understand my emotions, but he does his best and that’s all I can ask for.”
“I admire your strength. To be honest, Nino scares me shitless, almost as much as Remo.”
I smiled because I understood her so well. “I know. And Remo still does. I don’t think that will ever change. There’s something so … unhinged about him.”
“Unhinged is a bit of an understatement,” Leona said. “The way he rules over Vegas …” She sighed.
“I’m not married to him. That’s a blessing, I suppose.”
“I really hope he never finds a poor woman he wants to marry.”
I couldn’t imagine Remo settling down for a woman. Perhaps it would just be for the thrill of the conquest or that satisfaction of breaking her. I shuddered and pushed any thought of him aside. “Your Fabiano isn’t any less scary than Nino. You haven’t even grown up around men like him, yet you are with him. He is the Enforcer.”
Leona sat up, her expression thoughtful. “I know what he does is, what they all do is wrong, but I love him. I can’t help it. No one has ever been good to me, but he is. Maybe I’m selfish.”
I put down my bowl of porridge and reached for her hand, squeezing it. “You don’t have to justify your love. It’s something pure and beautiful, and I’m sure everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we just don’t understand why.”
Her blue eyes searched mine. “What do you feel for Nino?”
I wasn’t sure. Gratefulness. Affection. And sometimes something warmer and deeper that scared me. “Falling in love with Nino would be foolish. He can’t return my feelings no matter what they are.”
“Love tends to turn us into fools,” Leona said quietly, but she dropped the subject and reclined on the lounge chair.
I decided to stretch out as well, even if I wasn’t wearing a bathing suit like Leona. Thinking about my situation, I had no intention of becoming that kind of fool. Falling in love with someone without emotions would be a horrible mistake.
In the early evening, I was back at the piano, tinkering with my song, when Nino walked in. My fingers stumbled over the next few notes. He was dressed in only fight boxers, his skin covered in a fine sheen of sweat that made his tattoos stand out even more. My eyes trailed down his ripped stomach then followed over to his muscled arms and his strong hands wrapped in white tape. They were red in places. I quickly tore my eyes away, t
oo late of course, because Nino regarded me with a knowing expression. Thankfully, he didn’t say anything.
“Remo’s ordering pizza for us now. I’m taking a quick shower then we can head over.”
“Sure,” I said slowly. “I’m not sure Remo likes to have me around all the time when you have dinner.” In the past few weeks, they had been increasingly busy planning their attack on the Outfit, so I often had dinner with Leona in our wing or even ate with Adamo, who wasn’t involved in the Camorra’s dealings yet. Nino had also taken me out to dinner twice. Thankfully, spending evenings with all of the Falcone brothers had been a rare event.
Nino tilted his head. “You are my wife. You are family. He can deal.”
My eyes lowered to his chest again, wondering how it would feel to explore every inch of his skin with my fingertips. I’d only briefly touched his chest.
Something in Nino’s expression shifted, and he prowled over to me. There really was no other way to describe his movements. He lowered himself to his haunches beside me so we were almost at eye level as I sat on the piano bench. My breath caught in my throat when his mouth curled into a smile and his eyes reflected warmth.
My God, he was so good at faking affection. Too good. This was going to be my downfall, I knew it, but I could not tell him to stop. The scent of him washed over me, manly sweat and something that was only Nino.
My breathing quickened and so did my pulse. Nino reached for my hand, which lay limply on my thigh, and pressed his thumb to my wrist. Then he brought it up to his face and pressed a kiss to my palm, his gray eyes on my face the entire time. And I stared at his face in turn. That beautiful face, always perfectly cold but now filled with consciously created warmth. Even though I knew this was a lie, a lie that could break me in the end, I leaned forward and kissed him because with him giving me that tender look, I needed to be closer.
He returned the kiss and touched my cheek with his calloused hand. Not wanting him to read what this did to me, I closed my eyes. If I wanted this to work, I needed to either make peace with the truth that Nino was faking emotions for me or I would have to try to pretend they weren’t faked. I knew the latter would be easier because Nino was so scarily good at simulating.
Pushing any thought out of my mind, I allowed myself to drown in Nino’s kiss, in his closeness and scent, and my body sprang to life. When Nino pulled away eventually, my cheeks were flushed, and I was panting. His thumb was stroking my pulse point lightly, and the small touch traveled through every part of my body. He wasn’t only good at simulating emotions, he was good at this as well. Genius and monster.
“We can do some more exploring after dinner if you like?” His voice was deep and raspy.
I gave a small nod, not trusting my voice to come out as more than a squeak. Nino kissed my palm again before he stood, giving me a view of the bulge in his fight shorts, before he turned and headed upstairs to shower. My eyes followed his muscled, inked back, his narrow hips, and his firm butt.
I pressed shaking fingers to the piano keys. Where had I left of? I couldn’t remember. Instead, I turned my current emotional state into music. It was fast and erratic, but eventually the melody mellowed out, and my heartbeat calmed. I found my way back to the song I’d been working on before Nino had arrived. With every passing minute, I relaxed further.
“You have been working on it for a while now,” he commented. I jumped. As usual, he moved so quietly that I didn’t hear him approach. Now he leaned against the wall, hands in his pockets. He was wearing a tight white T-shirt that accentuated his muscles and showed the dark outlines of his tattoos beneath.
“You recognize the melody?” I asked, surprised.
“I have good hearing and a good memory.”
“Is there anything you’re not good at?” I stood and moved over to him. His own eyes lingered on my bare legs, then moved higher, pausing briefly on my chest before they stopped on my face. Warmth flooded my body. It wasn’t the first time I noticed him looking at me like that.
“A couple of things,” he said quietly, holding out his hand. I slipped mine into his grasp without a second thought. “Come on. Remo will be intolerable if the pizza gets cold.”
“Isn’t he always?”
Nino’s mouth twitched. “He’ll be even more intolerable.”
“We don’t want that. One of these days, he’ll make a widower out of you.”
Nino’s hand tightened around mine. “You are the safest woman in the city. Trust me.”
As we headed into the main part of the mansion, I risked the occasional glance at his face. He didn’t exactly look emotionless, more relaxed.
He glanced at me. “Everything okay?”
I nodded quickly, glad that we’d arrived in the gaming room where Savio and Remo were already waiting on us. As usual, dinner wouldn’t take place in the dining room at a proper table but on the sofa with pizza cartons strewn haphazardly around the living room table.
A fight was playing on the big TV screen. Remo sat on one sofa and Savio on the other. Neither wore shirts. It was hot outside, but I really wished they had chosen to wear more than sweatpants. Unlike Nino, they didn’t have any tattoos on their torsos, only the marking of the Camorra on their forearms and Remo’s angel on his back.
They hadn’t begun eating yet.
“Where’s the kid? He’s driving me up the wall,” Remo muttered then shouted, “Adamo, get your fucking ass down here. Pizza’s getting cold.”
I had eaten more pizza in my marriage to Nino than in my entire life before him. Nino led me toward Remo’s sofa, but thankfully he sank down beside his brother. The sofas were huge, so we didn’t even have to sit very close, and yet sitting beside Remo would have been too much. Nino released my hand and grabbed a beer from the selection on the table.
I regarded the five extra-large pizzas. It was pretty clear which one was mine. Spinach, feta, tomatoes—the only one without any kind of meat.
Steps thundered down the stairs, and a moment later Adamo appeared in the living room. Without a greeting, he grabbed a piece of pizza, dropped down beside Savio, and began eating.
Remo shook his head but reached for a piece as well. They all shared pizzas, of course none of them touched mine. I gingerly picked up a slice then looked around for napkins that the delivery service usually packed but found none. “Do you have napkins?” I asked but got empty looks back.
“We have some in the bar, I believe,” Nino said. He was about to get up, but I beat him to it. I turned to head for the bar.
“She’s got a nice ass if she doesn’t hide it under her clothes,” Savio commented.
I stiffened but kept moving.
“Careful,” Nino murmured in a voice that made the little hairs in my neck rise.
“She isn’t one of our whores, Savio. She is Nino’s, and you better remember it the next time you open your fucking mouth,” Remo muttered.
“Fuck. Don’t get your panties in a bunch,” Savio said.
Relaxing, I found a handful of napkins next to a few dirty whisky glasses, picked them up, and headed back, hoping my cheeks weren’t red. Nino’s intent gaze traced my face as I sank down beside him. I put the napkins on the table then placed one on my lap before I grabbed my piece of pizza.
“Savio is sorry, you know? He’s just a stupid idiot,” Adamo said, catching my gaze across the table with a grin. I smiled back.
“Oh, shut up,” Savio said.
I met his gaze. His dark eyes held wariness but also curiosity. He still regarded me as an intruder. I understood it. And other than Remo, he showed it openly. It was one of the few things that reminded me that he was two years younger than me.
Taking another bite of pizza, I was glad when the attention shifted back to the cage fight on the television screen, which I was trying to ignore. I knew Leona had worked there for a while, and I wondered how she could stand the violence.
“Where’s Fabiano?” Adamo asked with a full mouth.
“With Leona,” N
ino said simply.
Savio rolled his eyes. “Pussy-whipped.”
After my third piece, I was stuffed. More than half my pizza was left. The men had wolfed down every last morsel of their food, of course. “You can eat my pizza if you are still hungry,” I suggested.
Four heads turned my way.
“There’s nothing dead on it,” Savio said.
“We can change that in a heartbeat,” Nino said dryly.
“I’m sure there are a couple of limbs you don’t need,” Remo added, exchanging a smirk with Nino.
Savio snorted. “If anything’s going on that pizza, it’s Adamo’s dick. He’s not using it anyway.”
Adamo flushed, glancing at me before scowling at his brother. They probably would have started fighting if I wasn’t there.
“It’s delicious. You don’t need to add limbs or other body parts, believe me,” I said before it got out of hand.
Nino shrugged and grabbed a piece then took a huge bite and gave a satisfied nod. “It’s edible.”
I huffed. Leaning back against the headrest, I curled my legs under me. Nino put his arm on the rest behind me. I scooted a bit closer to him until I was tucked against his side. His gray eyes paused on my face for a moment before he lowered his arm and put his hand on my hip.
“Why don’t you eat meat?” Remo asked, reclining against the backrest, on his second piece of my vegetarian pizza. He looked fairly relaxed.
“I like animals,” I said. I didn’t want to argue with them about animal cruelty in meat factories because I doubted they would understand; they tortured humans on a daily basis, after all.
“I like them too. Better than most humans,” Remo said with a shrug. “Doesn’t mean I don’t eat them.”
“I prefer them in sausage form,” Savio said with a grin, but he, too, ate a piece of my pizza and stretched out on the sofa, putting his bare feet on Adamo’s legs, who in turn wrinkled his nose.
