by Ashley Goss
“Good Morning, Sunshine,” he says, stumbling over his words.
“Good Morning to you, drunk,” I tell him.
As soon as the words slip out of my mouth, I know I’m going to regret it. What is wrong with me? It’s like poking a bear. I didn’t want to intentionally piss him off.
“Excuse me? What did you just call me?”
“It’s seven in the morning. Where have you been? You’ve been out all night getting drunk with your friends or did you find some bitch to snuggle up next to for a couple of hours?” I ask him, playing the girlfriend waiting on him all night card.
Can I really engage in this? I wasn’t home either, but he didn’t know that. Why not make him feel bad? He won’t allow me to go anywhere, but he can come and go as he pleases? What kind of bullshit is that? We have a baby on the way, and this is how he wants to act. Does he want to be a drunk? Why am I even dealing with this? Why am I still here?
“It’s doesn’t matter where I’ve been. Shut up. I will do what I want when I want. You have no input in that matter. Just keep your mouth shut. Where’s my breakfast?” Dwayne asks as his hand raises.
I am not cowering. Not this time. At this point, I feel like a cockroach on the floor that is about to get stepped on. I have never felt so small, but I stand up for myself.
“Don’t raise your hand to me. You're drunk, and I could easily knock you over and run out of this house and never look back right now, and you couldn’t stop me.”
Wow, what is going on with me? Why am I saying these things? Maybe, I am just sick of him treating me like a slave? Treating me as though I am worthless. I’m not cheap. If he treats me like this when I am pregnant with his child, is he going to treat me this way after I give birth? Is he going to expose our child to this behavior? I think not!
“Oh really?” he says as he rushes in my direction.
Before I know it, I’m on the ground with him on top of me, striking me in the face repeatedly. Over and over, not stopping even though I am begging him too. Tears rolling down my face, I continue to ask him to stop. Each blow is worse than the last.
“You will learn not to sass me!” he yells as he continues the hard blows.
I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t stay, but I have nowhere to go. I have no money saved up to be able to live on my own. I couldn’t tell Rachel about this. She would kill him. I must keep this to myself. My shameful little secret. A secret that could end up with me killed.
“Get up and make me breakfast now!” he says, pulling me up off the floor.
I make his breakfast, and all I could think about is what happened to him? He is not the man I once loved. The man I loved would never treat me this way. He would never treat anyone this way. I sneak into the bathroom to see what damage he has done to me. My lip is busted, and my eye was swollen, and I have a big goose egg on my head. I start to cry. This would make anyone cry, but it is even worse since I’m pregnant. My emotions have been getting the better of me lately.
Why is he doing this to me? Why did he have to become this person? What made him become this way? How am I going to get away from him?
I need to figure out something and fast because next time could be worse. I couldn’t let there be a next time. I might have to tell Rachel. At least then, I would have someone who would be there for me. I couldn’t do this alone. I just couldn’t.
As the day went on, Dwayne became remorseful. Although, I think the only reason is that he is scared that I am going to leave and tell someone. All I must do is take pictures, leave and go to the police. They would believe me, right? This would be justifiable cause to arrest him. Maybe they would keep him long enough for me to get on my feet. But what if they didn’t? What if I went up there and they turn me down? It’s too hazardous and not worth the risk. Not after what I just encountered. I couldn’t.
“I’m sorry about earlier, babe. I drank too much. I didn’t mean to hit you,”
“Well, the issue is you did, repeatedly. Do you see this?” I say while pointing to my face.
“I am sorry. Fuck. I don’t know what to tell you!”
I feel like he thinks he is genuinely sorry, but he isn’t. No one does this by accident. This isn’t an accident. I couldn’t even stand to look at him right now. All I keep thinking about is what is going to set him off next?
“Are you going out tonight?”
“Yup, I’ll be home late. So, don’t wait up,” he says with a smile on his face.
He has been drinking every night at the bar. Maybe that’s what is making him be this way. He is becoming or already is an alcoholic. He would throw fits like a two-year-old if he didn’t get to go out and drink. I didn’t know what to do at this point. There is no fixing this. This is the endgame for me. I could never look at him the same. Not after today.
I wait until after he leaves for the bar to head over to Rachel’s house. I need to tell her. I must. Hopefully, she wouldn’t freak out and try to kill him. When I get there, Rachel, Chris, and Elijah are sitting around talking.
“Hey, come in!” they shout.
“Hey, guys, what are you up too?” I ask.
“Just hanging out,” Rachel says as she noticed my face.
“Hey Rachel, can I talk to you alone please?”
I wasn’t sure how exactly to tell her about it. I know she will be pissed I haven’t mentioned it to her, but she must understand the risk. The risk I am taking by telling her.
“What’s going on?” she asks me, worried.
“Well, when Dwayne got home this morning, he freaked out on me and hit me!”
“That bastard. Who does he think he is?”
“Is it possible I could stay with you? I need to get away from him for me and my baby’s sake. I don’t have any money saved up to get a place of my own right now.”
“You’re pregnant?” she asks, shocked.
“Yes, I just found out a couple of days ago.”
“You are welcome here anytime. You need to go home and pack your bags,” she says, ushering me out of the house.
Well, that went better than I expected it would. I head back to the house to get my stuff packed, and when I pull into the driveway, I notice Dwayne’s car.
“Where the fuck have you been?”
“I went over to Rachel’s.”
“I told you that you weren’t allowed to go anywhere. Did you hear me when I told you that? What the fuck am I going to do with you?”
He throws me on the ground and starts kicking me. Why is he doing this?
“Just stop, please!” I scream.
He didn’t listen. After hitting me in the face repeatedly, he starts punching me in the stomach, in the chest, while holding my head down so I couldn’t really move. I feel like this is the end. I am going to die right here on this kitchen floor. He didn’t care I am begging for my life.
“Please, you're hurting me. You’re hurting the baby. Let me go! Why are you doing this?” I scream again at the top of my lungs.
It is like he couldn’t hear me, or he didn’t want to. He just keeps punching me everywhere. I couldn’t help but worry about the baby. I’ve taken several hard blows to my stomach and tears won’t stop flowing. I wasn’t even concerned about myself anymore. I am concerned about my child. I couldn’t believe we have brought a child into this relationship. It didn’t deserve this. How could he have no disregard for his child? His child is inside me and he’s practicing beating it out of me. This proves to me there is no way in hell he is ready to be a father. Something must be done. As my consciousness fades away, I can see Dwayne’s face, red and puffy with each blow. I continue to try to beg for him to stop but nothing is getting through to him right now.
Before I know it, I am unconscious. All I could see is black. I could feel my life slipping away and nothing I could do to stop it. I am helpless.
Chapter 5
Elijah
“Is Nikki coming back?” I ask Rachel.
She came in and left so fast that I didn�
�t have a chance to tell her hi. I know she is in a relationship, that’s fine. I would never try to diminish that, but she is a fairly cool chick.
“She has some things to take care of and then she should be back,” Rachel replies.
“Things to take care of? What do you mean?”
Rachel has a tone in her voice that I do not like the sound of right now. Should I be concerned? Is she in trouble?
“If I tell you, you have to promise not to freak out.”
“Okay, what is it?”
“Her boyfriend has been hitting her. She wants to leave him, but she has nowhere to go.” Rachel tells me.
Holy fuck! Why didn’t she mention this? I would have graciously helped her out. One thing I cannot stand is abusive assholes. I had been raised to treat women with respect. I’m so sick of men that raise their hand to women. No woman deserves that, EVER!
“What do you mean, he has been hitting her? Don’t you think you should have mentioned that to us before now?”
I didn’t want it to seem like a dick, but she should not have waited to tell us. She should not have gone back by herself. I am furious, fists clenched so tight that they are white.
“When she came over earlier, she told me. I told her to pack her things and come stay with us.”
“Call her. We need to go help her pack her things and get her out of there before he comes home!”
Rachel dials Nikki’s phone number, but she didn’t answer. This isn’t a good sign.
“Call her again! Keep trying until she answers.”
She continues dialing her number but still no answer. I have a bad feeling about this.
“We need to go over there. Something could have happened!”
I grab my keys, and we all get in the car to head over to her place. Rachel giving me directions to her house, since I have never been there before. Thankfully, Rachel is with me.
When we pull up, her car is the only car in the driveway. That is weird. Why isn’t she answering her phone? We get out and knock on the door. No answer. I beat a couple more times and still no response.
My mind starts racing, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I jimmy the door open.
“Nikki, are you okay? Can you hear me?” I ask her, pulling her frail, blood covered body into my arms.
Nikki is lying on the floor with blood all over her and not responsive. Did he do this to her? I try to get her to answer me, but she wouldn’t. I start crying because it reminds me of what happened to my mom when I was a child.
“Rachel, I am going to bring her out. Please make room in the backseat. We need to get her to a hospital now!” I scream.
I pick her up and transport her out to the car carefully. I didn’t want to make her injuries worse. She’s lifeless, barely breathing. I couldn’t think clearly. I have only known her for such a short time, but I feel for her. I like this woman. She deserves so much more than to be treated like this.
I continue to shed tears and whisper into her ear, “It’s Elijah. I’m here. You are safe with me. I won’t ever let this happen to you again.”
Rachel’s crying hysterically on the way to the hospital. She keeps saying it’s her fault. We should have come back with her to pack her things up instead of letting her come back alone. She’s right.
We didn’t know this would be the result. How could we have known? All we could do is defend her from here on and make sure it didn’t happen again.
About thirty minutes go by, and we finally arrive at the hospital. Why the hell did the hospital have to be so far away? We pull up into the emergency parking, and I take Nikki into my arms.
I whisper again to her, “Everything is going to be okay. Just hold on. You are safe with me. Just hang in there.”
I take her in, immediately screaming for the nurses to get a room for her. This is an emergency, everyone else can wait. Once we get into a room, they keep asking me questions about what happened, but I have no information. I couldn’t tell them Dwayne did this to her because I have no way to know for sure.
All I know is I didn’t want to leave her side. I want to protect her and be there for her when she needs someone the most.
“We need to get X-rays.” The doctor tells me as he starts wheeling her away.
I couldn’t go with her. It makes my heart jump to know she is all alone after what just happened. I am hoping we are with her when she wakes up. I didn’t want her to be alone.
I walk out into to the waiting room and found Rachel and Chris. Chris has Rachel in his arms, trying to calm her down.
“I just don’t understand how anyone could do this to her? What kind of man would do this?” she keeps saying.
“Has this been going on for a while?” I asked Rachel.
“I have no idea. Tonight had been the first time I had heard about it. I hope that she wasn’t going through this the entire time and was scared to tell me. She tells me everything,” Rachel replies.
“I know from experience that it is tough to let someone know about this. Don’t take it personally. She came to you and told you, and that’s all that matters. You tried helping her. You did your part.”
All we could do is be patient and wait for an update. After a couple of hours, we start worrying. We have heard nothing from the doctors since we brought her in.
“I’ll be right back. I am going to go see if I can get an update on her.” I tell Rachel and Chris.
I want to stay strong for her. She needs people in her corner right now. From the looks of her when I brought her in, if she does live, it’s going to be one hell of a recovery to get there. Nikki didn’t deserve this. Why would anyone want to do her any harm? My mind just can’t wrap around the incident.
“Excuse me, I am trying to get an update on Nikki?” I ask the nurse at the front desk.
“Due to the condition of which she was brought in, we are unable to give any information out until she wakes up. Once she wakes up and states that it is okay to give out information, then we will let you know. If you would like to put you and your friends’ names on this sheet for visitation, then I will be able to notify you whenever she is awake and wanting visitors. I’m sorry.”
This makes me worry even more. She is not conscious yet. We have been here for hours. I hope she is going to be okay. She is lying in a hospital bed, with the chance of never waking up. I am not a religious person at all, but I bow my head and say a prayer hoping that God will spare her.
Chapter 6
Nikki
I wake up to the sound of beeping. Where am I? I couldn’t really see anything. Everything is all blurry, and I am in an immense amount of pain. It is so cold. I hear a door open and shut. Is that him? I flinch.
“Hello, can you hear me?” my doctor asks while shining a light in my eye.
“Yes. Who are you? Where am I?” I say, mumbling.
“Good. I’m your doctor. You are at a county hospital. You have been beaten up badly. You might have trouble seeing for a while. You have two very swollen eyes, a broken cheekbone, and a broken rib. You have a long road to recovery ahead of you. We have you on pain medication so you might feel drowsy. Don’t fight it. You will need lots of rest. You have visitors in the waiting room, would you like me to let them in?” he asks.
“Who are they?” I ask first.
“They say their names are Rachel, Chris, and Elijah,” he says while looking at his clipboard.
“Yes, they are fine. Please don’t let anyone else in without asking me first. I don’t want him to be able to get into my room.”
“Believe me, with the way that you came in, we won’t let anyone into this room without approval first. Would you like to fill out a visitor list? We check for ID when someone requests a visitor’s pass. This will make sure that he doesn’t get in to see you,” he says reassuringly as he walks out of the room to get the paper and let my friends in to see me.
I wasn’t sure if I want anyone to see me like this, but I didn’t want to be alone. I am scared. What if Dwayne shows
up to finish the job? How did I even get here? I hear the door open, and someone gasps. “Oh, my god. Honey, are you okay? You look awful. What happened? How is the baby?” Rachel asks as she starts to cry.
“I am not sure. The doctor didn’t say anything about the baby. I am guessing that means it is okay, right?”
“Maybe. Let me go get him.”
A couple of minutes later, Rachel and Dr. Jenson walk in.
He looks a little puzzled.
“You didn’t mention it, but is my baby okay?” I ask him.
He takes a deep breath, “The baby did not survive the trauma that was inflicted on your body. I am so sorry for your loss.”
I immediately break down because that bastard has taken my baby’s life due to this. What is wrong with him?
“It’s going to be okay. Dwayne will go away for this. Look at you, there is no way he is going to get away with this.” she points at me.
“I’m going to be alright. If I stay away from Dwayne. I should have left him a long time ago. I’m so stupid!”
“How did this happen? I thought he was out for the night?” she questions me.
“When I got home from your house, he was already home. I didn’t think that he would do it again especially to this extent. I have now learned my lesson, and I never want to see that man again!”
“I will make damn sure of that. No man should ever lay hands on a woman. He could have killed you!”
“How did I even get to the hospital? The last thing I remember is Dwayne on top of me, hitting me, and then I woke up here in the hospital.”
“Well, I called you to see if you needed help packing your things, and when I didn’t get an answer, we stopped by the house. Elijah knocked on your front door, and there was no answer, but we saw your car in the driveway. He jimmied your front door open because we were worried. Next thing we know, we find you lying on the floor, bleeding all over with no one in sight. We didn’t know what happened to you, so we brought you here.” she explains to me.
