This news affected Nelson violently. His frantic anxiety that Emma should not be contaminated would be ludicrous were it not so pitiable as showing how his love had idealized and glorified her into something almost saintly. He wrote distractedly—
" You are too beautiful not to have enemies, and even one visit will stamp you. . . . But, my dear friend, I know you too well not to be convinced you cannot be seduced by any prince in Europe. You are, in my opinion, the pattern of perfection." But in spite of this profession of faith, he cries, " The thought so agitates me that I cannot write. I had wrote a few lines last night but I am in tears, I cannot bear it." And again, " I own I sometimes fear that you will not be so true to me as I am to you, yet I cannot, will not believe, you can be false. No ! I judge you by myself. I hope to be dead before that should happen, but it will not. Forgive me, Emma, oh, forgive your own dear, disinterested Nelson." He cannot reconcile his mind to the thought of the projected dinner-party, it preys upon him like a nightmare. " I am so agitated that I can write nothing. I knew it would be so, and you can't help it. Do not sit long at table. Good God! He will be next you, and telling you soft things. . . . Oh, God ! that I was dead! But I do not, my dearest Emma, blame you, nor do I fear your constancy. ... I
298 NELSON'S LADY HAMILTON
am gone almost mad, but you cannot help it. It will be in all the newspapers with hints." He has heard, he says, that the words of the Prince of Wales are so charming that no person can withstand them : " No one, not even Emma, could resist the serpent's flattering tongue." Then he breaks out into a melancholy strain that recalls Ophelia's wandering words, " I know my Emma, and don't forget that you had once a Nelson, a friend, a dear friend, but alas! he has his misfortunes. He has lost the best, his only friend, his only love. Don't forget him, poor fellow! He is honest. Oh 1 I could thunder and strike dead with my lightning." After he comes back a little to his senses, he writes : " Forgive my letter wrote and sent last night, perhaps my head was a little affected. No wonder, it was such an unexpected, such a knock-down blow; such a death. But I will not go on, for I shall get out of my senses again."
And after all this the tragedy was avoided, the dinner-party did not take place. Emma wrote to her friend, Mrs. William Nelson, on the 2Oth of February: " I am so unwell that we cannot have his Royal Highness to dinner on Sunday, which will NOT vex me." But it is very evident that she had not expended upon the episode any of the anxiety and perturbation of spirit that almost tore Nelson in pieces. The admiral was as relieved as he had been agitated.
AS "ST. CECILIA"
GEORGE ROMKEY
" I glory in your conduct," he told her, " and in your inestimable friendship. ... I wish you were my sister that I might instantly give you half my fortune for your glorious conduct. Be firm! Your cause is that of honour against infamy." The affair made such an impression upon his mind, that some weeks later he was still harping upon it: " I now know he never can dine with you ; for you would go out of the house sooner than suffer it: and as to letting him hear you sing, I only hope he will be struck deaf and you dumb, sooner than such a thing should happen!"
The violence of Nelson's feeling on this matter is shown by the violence of his words.
The flutter of this Prince of Wales episode was barely over when Nelson wrote Emma a letter which places their relations to each other and to the child Horatia beyond all possibility of doubt. The Thompson fiction was dropped in this letter, for it was not to be trusted to the post but to the hands of a faithful messenger. The letter is dated March i, 1801—
" Now, my own dear wife, for such you are in my eyes and in the face of Heaven, I can give full scope to my feelings, for I dare say Oliver will faithfully deliver this letter. You know, my dearest Emma, that there is nothing in this world that I would not do for us to live together, and to have our dear little child with
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us. ... I love, I never did love any one else. I never had a dear pledge of love till you gave me one; and you, thank my God, never gave one to anybody else." [Nelson here shows that he had been kept considerably in the dark as to certain happenings of Emma's past.] " I think before March is out you will either see us back, or so victorious that we shall ensure a glorious issue to our toils. Think what my Emma will feel at seeing return safe, perhaps with a little more fame, her own dear loving Nelson. Never, if I can help it, will I dine out of my ship or go on shore, except duty calls me. Let Sir Hyde have any glory he can catch—I envy him not. You, my beloved Emma, and my country are the two dearest objects of my fond heart— a heart susceptible and true. Only place confidence in me, and you never shall be disappointed. . . . May the Heavens bless you, My love, my darling angel, my heaven-given wife, the dearest, only true wife of her own till death,—Nelson and Bronte." In the postscript he adds : " The time will ere long arrive when Nelson will land to fly to his Emma, to be for ever with her. Let that hope keep us up under our present difficulties. Kiss and bless our dear Horatia—think of that." Truly Nelson was at one with Shakespeare, when he wrote—
" Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments."
CHAPTER XIV
TO THE LAST BATTLE
NELSON sailed from Yarmouth in the St. George on the I2th of March, 1801, to engage in the second of his three great battles. Sir Hyde Parker was nominally commander-in-chief; but, as Nelson wrote to Emma: "You say, my dearest Friend, why don't I put my Chief forward? He has put me in the front of the battle, and Nelson will be first." There was considerable truth in Lady Malmesbury's comment after the battle: " I feel very sorry for Sir Hyde," she said; " but no wise man would ever have gone with Nelson, or over him, as he was sure to be in the background in every case." Even at the outset Nelson did not get on very well with his commander-in-chief. He was constitutionally impatient of control, and where his brilliant genius led him he followed fast—not waiting for the laggard footsteps or the late-given approval of commonplace and uninspired superiors. " Sir Hyde Parker," he told Emma, "had run his pen through all that could do me
302 NELSON'S LADY HAMILTON
credit, or give me support ; but never mind, Nelson will be first if he lives, and you shall partake of all his glory. So it shall be my study to distinguish myself, that your heart shall leap for joy when my name is mentioned." In another letter written about this time, he said, with all his old picturesque spirit: " The Dane should see our Flag waving every moment he lifted up his head." And with characteristic self-confidence he told Emma: " Your Nelson's plans are bold and decisive—all on the great scale. I hate your pen-and-ink men; a fleet of British ships of war are the best negotiators in Europe."
The story of " Nelson and the North," with all its picturesque and fiery incidents, the fleet sailing up the Sound, past " thy wild and stormy steep, Elsinore," the hard-fought action, the disregarded signal fluttering in vain its message of recall while the guns " spread a death-shade round the ships," the triumphant truce — all these things belong to the history of Nelson's professional career, and are enshrined for popular remembrance in the lines of a famous ballad.
After this victory we have no letter such as Emma wrote Nelson after the Battle of the Nile, owing to his scrupulous care to destroy her letters. But Sir William Hamilton gives some little picture of her agitation—she was still " the
TO THE LAST BATTLE 303
same Emma,'* still ardent, exclamatory, enthusiastic as a schoolgirl.
" What can I say, my Dear Lord I" asks Sir William, " that would convey the smallest idea of what we felt yesterday, on receiving the authentic letters confirming your late most glorious victory. . . . We can only repeat what we know well, and often said before—that Nelson was, is, and to the last will ever be, the first. However, we all agree that, when we get you safe home once more—that you should never more risk your shattered frame. . . . You would have laughed to have seen what I saw yesterday ! Emma did not know whether she was on her head or heels—in such a hurry to tell your great ne
ws, that she could utter nothing but tears of joy and tenderness."
Nelson was kept in the North some months after the battle, and when off Rostock, on the 24th of May, he wrote to Emma—
" MY DEAREST BELOVED FRIEND, —Yesterday I joined Adml. Totty, when I found little Parker with all my treasures, your dear kind friendly letters, your picture as Santa Emma, for a Santa you are if ever there was one in this world; for what makes a saint, the being so much better than the rest of the human race ; therefore as truly as I believe in God do I believe you are a Saint, and in this age of wickedness you sett
an example of real Virtue and goodness which if we are not too far sunk in Luxury and Infam ought to rouse up almost forgot Virtue, and ma God's curse alight upon those who want to dra you, my dearest friend, from a quiet home int the company of men and women of bad characte and I am one of those who believe that in Eng land the higher the class the worse the compan I speak generally. I will not think so bad o: any class but that there may be some good individuals in it. How can I sufficiently thank you for all your goodness and kindness to me, a forlorn outcast except in your generous soul My health I have represented to the admiral in such terms that I have no doubt but a Admiral has sailed to take my place. The Harpy has carried a stronger letter than any of the former. This vessel states that I do not know that I shall go to sea again, as my health requires the shore and gentle exercise, and so it does; and really, if the Admiralty had allowed me to go home, and in the event of hostilities being renewed in the Baltic, I might perhaps in that case care to command the fleet, but the Baltic folks will never fight me if it is to be avoided. In my humble opinion we shall have peace with the northern powers if we are Just in our desires. ... I want not to conquer any heart if that which I have conquered is happy in its lot. I am confident, for the conqueror is
a
:
TO THE LAST BATTLE 305
become the Conquered. I want but one true heart. There can be but one love, although many real well-wishers."
But he was kept from the sight of Emma till
I his successor could be found, and that, as Earl
St. Vincent told him, " your lordship knows is no
easy task; for I never saw the man in our pro-
| fession, excepting yourself and Troubridge, who
, possessed the magic art of infusing the same
spirit into others which inspired their own
; actions ; exclusive of other talents and habits
of business, not common to naval characters.' 1
But at last his successor was appointed, and
Nelson wrote to Lady Hamilton :—
" I was so overcome yesterday with the good and happy news that came about my going home, that I believe I was in truth scarcely myself. The thoughts of going do me good, yet all night I was so restless that I could not sleep. It is nearly calm, therefore Admiral Pole cannot get on. If he was not to come, I believe it would kill me. I am ready to start the moment I have talked with him one hour."
Nelson landed at Yarmouth on the istof July, and joined the Hamiltons. But as London is not ideal in midsummer, they all went into the country; first to Box Hill for a few days, and then to the Bush Inn at Staines, which Emma called "a delightful place, well situated, and a
306 NELSON'S LADY HAMILTON
good garden on the Thames." Nelson and the Hamiltons were accompanied by the Reverend William Nelson, with his wife and daughter Charlotte, and "the brave little Parker, wh< afterwards lost his life in that bold, excellent anc vigorous attack at Boulogne, where such unexampled bravery was shown by our brav Nelson's followers"—to use Emma's wordj The Duke of Queensberry and Lord Williai Gordon had been invited to join the party, but were unable to do so. Lord William Gordon, in reply, wrote Emma some very indifferent verses, in which he took off the characteristics of all the little company—with the exception of herself and Nelson, who went under the name of " Henry"—
" For thee and Henry, silent are our lays ; Thy beauty and his valour mock all praise."
Verse-making seemed to be a popular pastime with the Hamilton-Nelson circle. Miss Cornelia Knight, it will be remembered, had written many songs in praise of the admiral, while Emma, 'in later years, wrote little poems about him. But the odd, the incongruous thing is that Nelson himself took to making verses. Love plays many strange pranks, but surely never a stranger one than this which set the great admiral hunting for rhymes instead of for the ships of the enemy. Quite early in 1801, shortly after the birth of Horatia, he sent to Lady Hamilton, " a few lines, wrote in
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the late gale : which I think, you will not disapprove/' The best of these verses is perhaps the following :—
" A heart susceptible, sincere, and true ; A heart, by fate, and nature, torn in two : One half to duty and his country due ; The other better half to love and you ! "
But this is not the aspect of Nelson's character upon which his country most loves to dwell. And he was soon called back to the sterner side of life. There was a sudden panic fear of a French invasion, and Nelson had to take the command of the coast, from Beachy Head to Orford Ness. As Captain Mahan says—
" Reputation such as his bears its own penalty. There was no other man in whose name England could find the calm certainty of safety, which popular apprehension demanded in the new emergency, that had arisen while he was upholding her cause in the northern seas. Nelson repined, but he submitted. Within four weeks his flag was flying again, and himself immersed in professional anxieties."
Invasion in 1801 was not the real danger it was in 1803-1805. It was a somewhat idle threat of Buonaparte's, who was puzzled how to strike effectively at England, and found himself constantly baffled by the slow but irresistible workings of the English sea-power. That, as Nelson so fully recognized, was " literally the
foundation of our fabric of defence." He was little troubled by the invasion scare, though quite ready to take all reasonable precautions. " I agree perfectly with you," he wrote to St. Vincent, "that we must keep the enemy as far from our own coasts as possible, and be able t< attack them the moment they come out of theii ports." Indeed, he did not wait for the French to come out of their ports ; instead of waiting he planned and carried out the attack on the Boulogne flotilla, which ended in such a disastrous repulse. But Nelson could be as great in failure as in success, as he proved in the night-attack on Teneriffe years before. Professor Knox Laugh ton says of the Boulogne failure, " There was no petty grumbling, no attempt to shirk the responsibility. What had been done was his; his the blame, if there were any ; to his followers the credit of unflinching bravery and devotion."
But through all these excitements and dangers Nelson's thoughts were constantly with Emma, who seems to have been capable of expressing jealousy, in spite of the admiral's whole-hearted devotion. " You need not fear all the women in this world," he assures her, " for all others, except yourself, are pests to me. I know but one; for, who can be like my Emma ? I am confident, you will do nothing which can hurt my feelings." He was willing to make himself a hermit in his shi] so that her suspicions might be soothed. In on<
letter he tells her, " The Mayor and Corporation of Sandwich, when they came on board to present me the Freedom of that ancient Town, requested me to dine with them. I put them off for the moment, but they would not be let off. Therefore, this business, dreadful to me, stands over, and I shall be attacked again when I get to the Downs. But I will not dine there, without you say, approve; nor, perhaps, then, if I can get off. Oh ! how I hate to be stared at! "
His chivalry towards one woman apparently drove him into being rude to all others. From the Medusa in the Downs, he wrote to Lady Hamilton, on the 3ist of August—
" Oh ! how bad the weather is ! The devils, here, wanted to plague my soul out, yesterday, just after dinner; but I would have seen them damned, before they should have come in. The Countess Mountmorris, Lady this, that, and t'other, came alongside, a Mr. Lubbock with t
hem —to desire they might come in. I sent word, I was so busy that no persons could be admitted, as my time was employed in the King's service. Then they sent their names, which I cared not for; and sent Captain Gore, to say it is impossible ; and that if they wanted to see a ship, they had better go to the Overyssel (a sixty-four in the Downs). They said, no; they wanted to see me. However, I was stout, and will not be shown about like a beast! and away they went."
310 NELSON'S LADY HAMILTON
Nelson was strangely changed in some respects, though the excuse must be made for him that in the same letter he declared, " I am so dreadfully sea-sick, that I cannot hold up my head!" Also after the Boulogne expedition he was fretting for a sight of Emma, fretting because the promised visit which she and Sir William were to pay to Deal was delayed. " I came on board," he says, " but no Emma. I have 4 pictures, but I have lost the original." Again he tells her : "Our separation is terrible, my heart is ready to flow out of my eyes. I am not unwell, but I am very low. I can only account for it by my absence from all I hold dear in this world." About this time Emma appears to have expressed some nervous fears as to his personal safety. Nelson answered her with all his old fine spirit and love of duty :
Nelson's Lady Hamilton Page 22
