by KC Kean
“You look hotter than I could have imagined when you’re fucking, Parker. One day, I’m going to fuck you while you fuck our girl, how about that?” I can’t answer as his words force another wave of pleasure through my body.
“I’ll give you guys a few minutes, I think you’re going to need it. I’m not happy about this little stunt. I get it, but I don’t like eyes on what’s mine. It doesn’t happen again.” Before anyone can respond, he picks his gun up off the bed, aims at the light fixture and pulls the trigger.
Nobody jumps at the noise, we all stare at the debris falling all over the bed.
“Guess you’ll be staying with me tonight, princess.” Without another word, he turns and walks out. Leaving us all standing in surprise at his actions.
“Fuck. That was hot,” Luna says, as she still stares at the mess.
“Yeah, even I’d have to agree. Plus, it was one hell of a statement.” Oscar’s mutters, catch me off guard, pulling my gaze to him.
From his words to the fact that we’re all still connected I can help but chuckle at the state of us.
“Let me down boys, my legs have gone numb, but so totally worth it,” Luna giggles, and we do as she asks.
“Get a move on, Kai and Jess will be back from the coffee shop anytime and Rafe is twenty minutes out,” Roman calls out from the other room.
All the laughter dies on our lips as we remember what we were distracting ourselves from to begin with.
CHAPTER TWENTY
(Luna)
I managed to climb into the shower with a fresh set of clothes to change into, before Red and Kai get back, or Rafe arrives. Slipping into a pair of black skinny jeans and a ripped Iron Maiden t-shirt, I decide against any make-up. I can hear the guys and Red chatting in the lounge, but I can’t bring myself to head back out there.
I refused to talk to anyone about what Veronica said, especially about Rafe. I wanted to wait for him to talk it through, it just seriously has my brain fried. Sitting on the vanity I rest my head against the mirror, thinking it all over.
My father and Rafe were … together? I mean I don’t care, go them, but how did any of this come to be? How am I even here? It kind of makes sense how I ended up with such a vile mother, and only loving memories of my father though. I can’t explain the peace I feel knowing my father was never in a relationship with that bitch.
What did that make Rafe? I was racking my brain, praying for a memory to burst free from my mind. I could feel something hovering at the edge of my mind. Trying to encourage it to the forefront was proving harder than I thought.
How have I lived and grown up with this man and not remembered his importance? There have been so many times when I’ve wanted to call him dad yet I’ve always held my tongue. It came so naturally to my lips and I’d always assumed it was because he’s my only true family. Now it seems there is more to the story, our story. I always pushed it back down, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. Did I ever call him that as a child?
Closing my eyes, I concentrate repeating the words over in my mind. Rafe. Dad. Daddy. Papa. That’s what kicks the memory forward, Papa.
“Luna, baby. I need you to have some water for me okay?” A rough hand strokes down my cheek, encouraging me to open my eyes. Blinking a few times, I look around to see the inside of a big car, possibly an SUV. It’s a little blurry, but looking out of the window we’re parked outside a gas station. There are two other cars and a tiny little kiosk, surrounded completely by dry land.
Rafe stands before me in the open door with a bottle of water in his hand.
“Hey darling, there’s those pretty green eyes. Would you drink some of this water?” He stretches his arm out to bring it closer to me, and I hold my small hand out to take it. That’s when I see the specs of blood on my hands, I start to tremble.
Tears begin to trickle down my face, my mind replaying why the blood is there, and why we’re in the car to begin with.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay, Luna. I promise you darling girl, I will take care of all this. Me and you against the world, yeah?” I can see tears in his eyes too, he’s trying his best to hold them back so he can comfort me. “Papa’s got you darling. We just have to keep going.”
“Where’s daddy?” I cry, as my body shakes with the pain the memories give me.
“It’s alright, Luna. He’s … He’s …” Rafe starts to sob too, looking down at his hands at a loss for words. Taking a calming breath, he meets my eyes. “Darling, I don’t know where he is, but I hope he’s in heaven where it’s safe.”
“But I want daddy,” I scream swinging my arms and legs around in a tantrum. My foot hits the seat in front as my arm connects with Rafe’s chest, knocking some of the water from the bottle on to his t-shirt.
“I know, baby. I know, we’ll figure this out. Have a little water and we’ll keep driving okay? You can be the Michelangelo to my Raphael, remember?” The mention of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles distracts my train of thought.
“Cowabunga,” I murmur, and it lifts a small smile from Rafe.
“Cowabunga, Michelangelo. Now, a little water.” I take a sip distracted as my imagination goes to TMNT, my favorite cartoon of all time.
“Okay, Raphael. Only code names from now on,” I say handing the water back and sitting up straight in my seat. He clips me in, and quickly walks around to the driver’s side. When he starts to drive an idea comes to mind. “I think I’ll call you Rafe for short.” I decide, pleased with my idea. I stare out of the window, making up adventures in my mind as a ninja, forgetting the horrors of my past.
A knock on the bathroom door pulls me into the present with a jerk, my head hitting the mirror behind me. Fuck. I rub my head as I hear Kai through the door.
“Sakura, Rafe is here.” I can’t bring myself to answer, not yet.
Standing, I look in the mirror to see tears streaming down my face. My shaking hands slowly lift to trace the wet track marks.
I feel like that little six-year-old girl again. Heartbroken. This time because that man out there lost his title of papa, to be the Raphael to my Michelangelo.
I need to see him. Rushing for the bathroom door, I don’t swipe the tears from my face because they just continue to fall harder, faster. Swinging the door open, I step into the lounge, my eyes frantically searching around everyone.
They’re all frozen in place staring at me, and my disheveled appearance. My naturally wavy hair is still wet and not contained with a hair tie, and I know my face is blotchy from the tears. The concern is clear on Red’s face and the guys are looking at me on high alert. Oscar and Parker are sitting on the sofa facing my direction, while Kai and Roman are sitting on the other.
Then, I see him. Standing by the main door, afraid to come in any further because he doesn’t know what my reaction will be.
Fuck. Look what I did to him. His face is etched in fear and unnecessary apology because of me. He looks as much of a hot mess as I do. My feet move towards him on their own accord, carrying me past everyone as he stands as still as a statue. When I’m only a few steps away, I can’t keep it in.
“Papa,” I whisper, and his face crumbles at the crack in my voice, tears instantly streaking his face like mine. I throw myself at him, my arms wrapping around his neck as I squeeze with all my strength. He lifts me off the ground with his hold tight around me. I’m not sure if it’s my heart pounding I can feel or Rafe’s, likely both.
My tears flow freely, mixing with Rafe’s and soaking his t-shirt. I can barely breathe, my emotions forcing me to hiccup against him as I choke on my sobs. My fingers hurt from the grip I have on him, but I can’t let go.
We stay like this for what feels like forever. Locked in our embrace, sobbing uncontrollably whispering apologies to each other.
Slowly putting me back on my feet, Rafe lifts my face to swipe his thumb across my cheek, just like the memory. This touch means so much more now, solidifying the father-daughter bond between us.
“Do you r
emember?” Rafe asks, his voice husky from our crying, with eyes searching mine as if he could see what I saw.
“Not a great one, but it was when you became the Raphael to my Michelangelo,” I murmur in response, swiping my hands down the front of my pants. Who knew emotions could make you so sweaty? His eyes fall a little at the memory of that dreadful day, but he soon shakes it away. As a distraction he looks to the others in the room, so I follow his line of sight.
They’re all on their feet, looking in our direction. A mixture of confusion and relief crossing their faces, but no sympathy. Thank god, that is not what I need right now.
“Okay, we have a lot to talk about, darling. Do you want me to make some coffee?”
“No need, Rafe. I grabbed some from the coffee house, they should still be good,” Red says with a soft smile, and Rafe nods.
“Great, thanks, Jess.” He looks back at me, seeing the tension in my body. I catch the shift the moment it enters his eyes, the need to lighten the mood and ease it away. “Do I get to grill the boys properly before we have this chat? It would definitely improve my mood,” he says with a cheeky grin on his face as he rubs his hands together in delight.
“You better behave, or I’ll beat your ass.” I give him a death glare with my hands on my hips, true Red style, but it only makes him smile wider.
“Hey, if he wants to know what my favorite parts of you are, then I’m more than happy to share.” I know that’s Oscar straight away and I turn to see him smile, as Roman smacks him across the head.
“Ignore him, Rafe. He talks a lot of shit, we don’t pay him any attention,” Roman grunts, pushing Oscar onto the sofa and making everyone chuckle.
“Roman, I swear to god, stop hitting me. Baby girl, tell him.” He pouts, glancing backwards at me. Just like that, the mood is lightened.
Red approaches me, melted Frappuccino in hand, and a soft smile on her lips.
“I’m sure it’ll taste great,” she murmurs cringing at the cup, before wrapping her arms around me as tight as she can. I need this level of comfort from her right now. I’m emotionally drained, but there is still so much to discuss. Kai breaks the silence in the room as he clears his throat.
“Would everyone be okay moving this down to my room? There’s a little more digging I want to do, and I can’t do it on this thing,” He says, waving Roman’s laptop around. Everyone looks to me for an answer, which makes me roll my eyes.
“Of course, we need all the information we can get. Are you guys okay heading out first so I can have a chat with Rafe?” My voice is strong, but I find myself rubbing my arms nervously.
“Whatever you need, Sakura.” Kai walks towards me, kisses me lightly on my forehead and heads for the door. It gets everyone moving and suddenly I’m like a conveyor belt, everyone rolling by me on their way to the door.
Red squeezes my arm and follows Kai. Parker pulls me into his arms and holds me close, placing a gentle kiss to my head, he stares into my eyes, peering at my soul.
“I see you, angel. Just as you see me,” he murmurs before heading for the door.
Oscar’s next, and in true Oscar style he swoops in and lifts me off my feet. Twirling me around as he holds me tight, I soak up his fun aura as it brings a smile to my face. As he slowly puts me back on my feet, he raises a hand to my cheek, planting a swift kiss on my lips.
“Miss you already, baby girl,” he mutters against my lip, before bopping my nose and disappearing after the others.
Wow. I don’t know what that was but … Swoon.
Looking over to Roman, he’s staring at me, hard. I can see his jaw working, as though he’s trying to say something, but he doesn’t know how. Before I can ask what’s going on, he finally blurts it out.
“I thought you knew, princess.” He must see the confusion on my face, making him continue. “I just thought yours and Rafe’s dynamics had changed or something? I don’t know, but I didn’t think to tell you about this. I didn’t realize how much you had suppressed. I just …”
Needing to make his rambling stop, I walk to him and throw my arms around his waist, crushing my face into his chest. His arms come down over me, squeezing me tight to him, as he rests his chin against my head. Inhaling his scent, I get lost in the familiar woodsy smell, feeling his heart beating fast against me.
My brain is slow to process what he’s trying to say, but he must think I’m mad at him for not telling me. Tilting my head back I look up to him, his eyes are closed with his chin resting on his chest now that I’ve moved.
“Roman, this would never have been something I would expect you to tell me. When I said complete honesty, this doesn’t count. I don’t think I would have believed you anyway. Do I like how I found out? No, but I’m glad I remember now.”
He peers at my face, trying to make sure I’m telling the truth. He slowly relaxes beneath me when he sees I’m not trying to put any of the blame on him. Stupid Acehole.
“Now, go boss everyone around, baby. Get your alpha vibes back, cos you’re starting to sound like Red,” I say, stepping back with a wink as I slap his ass into gear. The growl he gives me makes me chuckle at him. He crushes his lips to mine for a moment, not nearly long enough, before stepping back and heading for the door. My eyes stay on him tracking his movements, as I already miss his touch.
Just before he shuts it he turns to face me, Rafe still lingering quietly near the door watching us interact. I see the gleam in Roman’s eyes and I instantly know he’s got some smartass bitch comment on the tip of his tongue.
“Slap my ass again, princess, and I’ll have to spank you. Rafe around or not,” he grins and slams the door behind him.
Oh my fucking god. I can feel the heat in my face, not needing to see to know I’m bright red. Rafe turns to look at me with his eyebrows raised, and I shut him down before he can carry on too.
“Aceholes, the lot of them. Now, coffee?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
(Luna)
It’s getting late as we stare across the kitchen table at each other. With my frozen coffee in hand I let the silence engulf us. Glancing at my watch it’s a little after five, I should be deciding what I want to eat, but I’m not even a little bit hungry. I’m too busy churning over everything that’s happened today.
“I’m sorry,” we both blurt at the same time, which is cringy as hell and so cliché. I can’t help but roll my eyes.
“I’ll go first, darling,” Rafe murmurs, taking a deep breath and squeezing my hand on the table. “I’m sorry that I never tried to tell you, Luna. After the therapists only made the situation worse, I didn’t know what to do. You weren’t remembering anything, so I made the decision not to push you any further. I wanted to wait for everything to come back to you naturally.”
A soft smile plays across his lips, but I see the real pain in his dark brown eyes. Putting my watery Frappuccino down on the table I place my hand on top of his, sandwiching it between mine. His hands are ice cold and it catches me by surprise. How do I even show this man how much I appreciate him, for everything he has done for me?
“Rafe. Papa. Shit.” Sighing, I shake my head at myself. “I’m sorry, my brain is going to take a minute to catch up here.”
“It’s okay, Luna. The fact that you remember is all I’ve ever wanted,” he says with the softest smile I’ve ever seen on his face. Nodding, I take a second to try again.
“I’m sorry I’ve put you through all of this. I can see the pain in your eyes, and it hurts me too,” I whisper, pulling away from him to reach for my coffee again. Stirring my straw through the slushy content, at least it still tastes good.
Leaning forward on crossed arms Rafe meets my gaze.
“How about we stop apologizing and start trying to move forward? None of this is your fault, darling. I need you to accept that.”
“I don’t know how, I feel this ache in my chest that tells me I caused you too much unnecessary pain, but I would love to try and move forward.” I smile weakly, surprised by t
he honesty in my words. “But to do that, I think we need to delve into the past a little more.”
I push back from the table and rise to my feet. Thinking it, and actually saying it out loud are two very different things. My palms are sweating, and my heart is pounding in my chest, bracing myself for the conversation. I focus on taking some deep breaths to try and calm myself.
“We can talk about whatever you want,” he says, watching me as I start to pace behind my chair. Glancing at the mess in the plastic cup on the table, I start the coffee machine instead, needing the time to get control over myself again.
Resting my hands on the countertop, I drop my gaze to stare at the marble patterns. Rafe stays quiet giving me the time I’m asking for. I don’t ask if he wants a coffee, he’s getting one either way. I methodically go through the motions of making two cups, bringing them over to the table and taking a seat across from Rafe again.
He stares me down, looking between me and the mug in front of him with humor in his eyes. It takes me a moment to understand what has his attention, and it makes me smile too. I hadn’t been paying attention to the cups, I just pulled them from the cupboard. I’ve given him the one I bought for Red. It says, ‘Back the fuck up sprinkle tits, today is not the day, I will stab you with my horn.’ Whereas mine is just a picture of a rose, boring in comparison.
“Can you explain to me how an agreement was made between Steele and Hindman while you were in a relationship with Dad? I can’t wrap my head around it.” Tapping his fingers against the kitchen table, he nods a few times gathering his own strength before answering.
“From before your father was born, there was an agreement in place between the Steeles and the Hindmans, that they would unite the families in marriage. When your Grandmother, Maria, found out about our relationship she called off the arrangement. Maria believes in true love, she wanted us to have happiness in this dark world, and she approved instantly. This caused a lot of issues over the years, and eventually led us to agree to a new set up. The Hindmans and Veronica agreed to be our surrogate so we could have you.”
