Walking across the room, Izzy purposely put space between her and her parents just as they had done to her and Robbie so many times before. She didn’t need them right now, but she did need Kate.
She dialed her friend’s number.
Kate picked up on the first ring. “I just saw it on TV. I’m on my way over right now. We’ll find him, Iz. We’ll find him alive, okay?”
Izzy nodded, words catching like barbed wire in her throat.
“Iz? Are you there? If you can hear me, say yes.”
Izzy swallowed against her arid tongue. “I can hear you. Hurry, Kate. Please.”
“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
The line went dead and Izzy somehow managed to move her feet toward her bedroom. In a zombielike state, she stripped off her pajamas and pulled on jeans and a shirt. Even though her mother and father were only in the next room, Izzy couldn’t talk to them. It was almost as if her body had shut down while her brain battled the trauma inside.
If Trent loved her at all, he wouldn’t have gone into that building without knowing it was safe. He wouldn’t have put her through what she was going through now. If he loved her, he would’ve waited, ensured that the building wasn’t going to rise and engulf him like what the vile pictures that had flashed on the TV screen seemed to imply. He knew her fear, knew that her heart couldn’t take the blow of him dying.
She always known she wasn’t strong enough for a relationship with a firefighter. Why had she given in to her feelings for Trent and taken him into her bed and heart?
She vehemently shook her head as a painful sob caught in her throat. Trent didn’t need to be with her. He needed to be with a strong woman, a brave woman. Not a woman likely to have a breakdown every time he was called out.
If she could just see him one more time, look into his beautiful green eyes and see his gorgeous smile, then she would let him go. Yes, she would...she really would.
* * *
TRENT FOUGHT AGAINST the weight of his eyelids, willing them to open, but his efforts were useless. Every inch of his body ached or throbbed with pain. He’d tried countless times to lift his arm, but the thing weighed two hundred bloody kilos. How the hell was he supposed to call Izzy to let her know he was okay if he couldn’t even open his eyes or lift his useless arm?
The murmur of subdued voices drifted over him and he battled again to pry open his eyelids. They opened a sliver before drifting closed again.
More murmurs.
Who were the owners of those voices and why were there people in his bedroom?
Maybe he’d have more luck using his voice than his body.
He opened his mouth and slid his arid tongue over his even drier lips. “Hello?” The word barely came out a whisper. He swallowed and filled his lungs, pushing every ounce of strength—which wasn’t much—into a second attempt. “Hello?”
“Trent? Mate? You awake?”
Will. Thank God. Trent nodded...or at least managed to twitch. “Yeah, man. I’m awake. Just waiting for my eyes to realize it.”
“Christ, you gave us one hell of a scare, bud.” Will blew out a breath. “First of all, we all thought we’d lost... Do you know something? It doesn’t matter what we thought. You’re awake and that’s the best damn thing I’ve seen or heard for the last three days.”
Three days?
Trent finally won the eyelid battle...albeit they flickered like they were plugged into a loose electrical socket. “What are you doing in my bedroom and why have I been lying here for three days?”
“Your bedroom? No, man, you’re in the hospital.”
“The hospital?” Trent’s eyes fully opened. “Oh man. Did I pass out? What about McCarthy? Is he okay?”
“Right here, Palmer.”
Trent flicked his gaze to the other side of the bed. “Hey. How are you doing?”
“A lot better than you, my friend.” McCarthy smiled and uncrossed his arms. “There was no need for you to take the full brunt of that explosion, you know. It would’ve been a lot fairer if we’d split it fifty-fifty.”
“Funny. I’d laugh if I had the strength.” Trent attempted a smile. “Have either of you spoken to Izzy?” He looked at each of the men in turn. “Is she okay?”
Will frowned. “Don’t go worrying about Izzy. You should be thinking about yourself for a while. You had a close call. Another couple of feet closer to that blast and you’d be dead.”
“What caused it? Do you know?”
“The whole place is under investigation, but so far, the unofficial summary is that the fire was caused by a spark in the computer server. The fire suppression system malfunctioned...apparently. But there was enough flammable material in that warehouse to light the entire trading estate. As to what caused the actual explosion, the investigation team still isn’t entirely sure.”
Trent closed his eyes. “Well, they’d better catch whoever started that thing.” He fought to open his eyes again. “Were any lives lost? Did you get to the civilians in time?”
McCarthy stepped forward. “Everyone got out alive. You were the one and only casualty. Thank God, you weren’t the one and only fatality. It’s great to see you awake, Palmer. I’m going to head back to the station. The chief will want to know you’re awake. I’ll track down a doctor on my way out and send him in here. Catch up with you guys later.”
Trent waited until McCarthy left the room before he tried to sit up a little, but it was hopeless. “Goddamn it.” He clenched his teeth against the screaming pain that ripped through his ribs. “I need to call Izzy, Will. I need to speak to her.”
“Will you just relax?”
“Relax? The last time I spoke to her we were damn close to breaking up. Again. She left without giving me a chance to explain it doesn’t matter what we discussed, I still want her. Izzy will always be the right girl for me. I have to speak to her.”
Will smiled and shook his head.
Trent glared. “What are you smiling about? I’m serious.”
“I’m trying not to laugh at you getting all bent out of shape...not that you’re in particularly good shape right now.”
“Look, I know we’re good mates and everything, but I swear to God if you don’t—”
“Izzy left about ten minutes ago when McCarthy and I practically shoehorned her out the room. She’s been at your bedside more or less every minute, night and day. She’s here in the hospital, mate. I sent her to the cafeteria to get some coffee. She looks as though she’s having as much trouble keeping her eyes open as you are.”
“She’s here?” Trent grinned and his cheekbones screamed their indignation. “Well, go get her.”
The door opened and Trent’s heart immediately swept into overdrive. He inwardly cursed his battered body and stared at Izzy’s sheet of perfect, long blond hair as it flowed like moving water down her spine. She walked in backward, a loaded coffee carrier wobbling precariously in her hands. She turned and smiled at Will. “Coffee as ordered.”
She glanced in Trent’s direction and did a double take. “Oh my God. You’re awake.”
Will lunged forward and grabbed the tray from her hands. “I’ve got this.”
Smiling, Izzy came to Trent’s side and he stared into the gorgeous blue eyes he hadn’t seen in far too long. “Hi.”
“Hi.” She grinned, her eyes shining beneath unshed tears and her cheeks flushed pink. Her smile faltered, and she frowned. “Don’t ever do that to me again.”
He smiled. “I can’t promise—”
“No, you promise me, Trent Palmer. You promise me right now.”
The woman he loved looked absolutely terrified and it was he who’d put her through that. He wiped his smile. “I’m okay, Iz. I’m awake and as far as I can tell I just have a few bumps and bruises.”
“Did the doc
tor see you?” She glanced at Will. “Has he been checked over?”
“Iz, look at me.” Trent spoke as firmly as a man with a throat like sandpaper could. “I’m going to be fine. I promise.”
“Oh, Trent.” Tears slipped over her cheeks and she leaned over him to press a soft kiss to his forehead, to his cheek and, as light as a whisper, to his lips. “You’re awake.”
Will cleared his throat. “Well, I’m clearly surplus to requirements here, so I’ll head off. It’s good to have you back with us, buddy. Take care of him, Iz. If I see the doctor, I’ll try to stall him for a few minutes and give you two lovebirds a bit of time alone, shall I?”
Trent smiled, his gaze locked on Izzy’s. “Good idea, man. See you soon, okay?”
“You got it.”
The door closed behind Will, and Trent met Izzy’s beautiful but concerned gaze. Her study roamed his face. “Do you hurt?”
“A little.”
She shook her head. “I was terrified, Trent.” She inhaled. “I’m so glad you’re okay, but listen to me. I can’t—”
“Don’t say it, Iz. Don’t say you can’t handle this. You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. Just think about how strong we’re going to be together. Won’t you allow yourself to do that? For me.”
She squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry. Please don’t hate me. I love you, and...” She opened her eyes. “Being with you, spending time with you, has finally released me from the grief-ridden, self-imposed prison I was in, but this...this risk and danger...it’s too much.”
“I’m not letting you go, Iz. Not again.”
He tried to move, but the searing pain through his ribs made his breath catch painfully in his lungs. He snapped his teeth together to trap his yell inside.
“Trent, don’t move. Please. The last thing I want is to upset you when you’re in so much pain, but it would be worse to lie—”
“Enough.” He glared at her as frustration rolled through him on an irritated blend of helplessness and confusion. “Why fight what we have? We need to straighten this out between us once and for all, because we can’t keep going on like this. I love you. Why can’t that be enough?”
She stilled, the blush at her cheeks darkening as she stepped away from the bed. “You really don’t know why love isn’t enough for me?”
Trent searched his brain for some clue to what she was thinking and feeling, but nothing came forward, only the damn force of the headache currently drilling through his temples.
She pulled back her shoulders. “My parents love me, Trent. Robbie loved me. It isn’t your love that has me backing away, it’s the probability that you are one day going to be killed. It would be bad enough losing you as a friend, but as a lover? A husband? The father of my children?” She shook her head, tears rolling over her cheeks. “There’s nothing to straighten out. You’ve had doubts for the same reasons.”
“It’s not that I doubt us.”
“You’ve said if we work out. You told your mum you sometimes doubt I’m the right girl for you. Don’t you think those thoughts are equally as important as my fear of you dying? We’re too different. Too mismatched. Sure, we might be in love and have great, explosive, fantastic sex, but that isn’t enough. Not by a long shot.”
Trent swallowed against the pain burning around his heart that had nothing to do with his injuries. He couldn’t deny her summary of what the last few weeks had been like for them. He couldn’t take back his words or fears because they were still very much in the back of his mind. Yet still he couldn’t shake his love for her. Not even a tiny bit of it.
He coughed. “Well, for one, I can’t see how great sex isn’t something worth holding on to.” He wiggled his eyebrows in a futile attempt to banish her anger and make her smile. “Can you?”
“I’m not joking, Trent.” The crack in her voice sent a splinter through his heart. She shook her head. “I can’t keep doing this with you.”
She moved away from the bed and picked up her purse from a chair in the corner of the room.
Come back to me, Iz. Don’t leave me when I can’t chase after you.
Her shoulders rose and then fell as she exhaled heavily into the silence. Seconds ticked by until, finally, she returned to the bed. She leaned over him and her soft, floral scent washed through his senses, making him inwardly curse to high heaven and back.
Gently, she kissed him on the mouth and stepped back. “I’ve wanted to be with you for so long, but held back for fear of certain heartbreak. Either from you being hurt in a fire, or the moment you realize how much I hanker for a quiet, family life, and instead, you walk away in pursuit of the next dose of danger or excitement.”
He clenched his jaw. “I don’t need danger or excitement anywhere else, because being with you gives me enough of both. I love you, Iz.” He ran his gaze over her face as certainty of what had to happen, what needed to be sacrificed came upon him with ball-kicking clarity. “I want to be with you, and if that means—”
“Don’t. Don’t you dare say it.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “I won’t be the woman who took away your spontaneity, your job, your world.” She opened her eyes and they shone with tears. “If you change any of those things for me, I’ll end up hating myself and you’d eventually hate me too. That’s something I could never live with.”
“You’re wrong.” His frustration turned to anger. “Do you really love me, Iz? Forget everything you just said and answer the question. Do you love me?”
She stared, her gaze so soft he didn’t need to hear her answer, but she did. She needed to hear it and own it.
“I love you, Trent.” She inhaled a shaky breath and released it. “I think I have since the first day I saw you.”
Hope and relief swelled inside him. “Good. So, if you want to leave the hospital, then go, but know this. The minute I’m out of this bed is the minute I come find you.”
She dipped her chin before turning and heading for the door. She paused with her hand on the handle. “Do you know what makes you even more of a stubborn pain in the ass?”
“What?”
She faced him. “That you know full well I’ll be back here every damn day until you’re able to walk out of here on your own.”
Trent smiled as the door whispered softly closed behind her.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
TRENT FOLLOWED—OR HOBBLED—out of the Coast Inn behind Izzy. A week had passed since he was released from the hospital and he could finally move without his cracked ribs yanking the breath from his body. November would soon become December, and along with the Christmas decorations that had begun to spring up all over town, so had his determination that eventually he and Izzy would find their way.
The only obstacle left to overcome was Izzy herself.
She turned to look at him in the dark parking lot, the chilly breeze causing her to tug her scarf over her jaw. “How are you feeling?”
Trent stared at her. She was his girl. His woman. His everything. The question was, would he ever be everything to her? “I’m all right.”
She lifted an eyebrow. “Only all right? We’ve had a good day, haven’t we?”
He smiled and took a step closer, every part of him wanting to put his arms around her and pull her in close. He refrained or risked losing her completely. He had no real certainty she didn’t still feel the same way she did when he’d been lying in the hospital. “It’s been great. Never in a million years did I think I could convince you to stick by me all day.”
She smiled, her blue eyes glistening in the lights coming through the bar windows. “Well, a day of me taking photos is pretty hard to resist. First on Clover Point, then the beach, Marian’s and now here. The whole day has been great. Truly. Plus, the time I’ve been able to spend with my mum and dad straightening things out, of course. I’ve fina
lly stopped beating myself up about the way I treated them. They love me and I love them. That’s all I need. No more looking back.”
He smiled. “You’re happy, aren’t you?”
She nodded. “I am. They’re onboard about the gallery and they’re sticking around for the foreseeable. It feels good to have them share in my life again. Fingers crossed...” She sighed. “They’ll come to see the Cove for the fabulous place it is and stick around even longer than I dare to hope for.”
“I’m happy for you, Iz. Really.”
He cast his gaze over her face, committing her happy expression and dancing eyes to memory because after what he said next, Lord only knew when they’d get to talk this way again. “There’s something I want to say. Something I tried to say at the hospital but you cut me off.”
The light in her eyes dimmed and her smile faltered. “Trent, we’ve had a great day. Please don’t spoil—”
“I’m not spoiling it. I’m hoping what I say will finish it perfectly.” He shoved his hands in his pockets to stop from touching her and looked into the distance. “I love the Cove too, Iz.” He shifted his gaze to hers. “I want to live here forever. Build my home here...my family.”
She looked to her feet for a moment before lifting her eyes to his. “Me too.”
He smiled, tentative hope speeding his heart. “Then I want you to hear me out, okay?”
The skin at her throat shifted as she swallowed. She opened her mouth as if to speak before snapping it shut and nodding.
Trent took a deep breath and fought the urge to at least take her hand. “I love you, Iz. I think I always will. So because of that love, I’ve decided to give up the firefighting. I’ve had a good run and done all I can to atone for what happened to Aimee. I’m tired. I don’t want to do it anymore. I want to spend more time with family, friends...you.”
“Trent...”
“Please. Let me finish. I need to say this and then I’ll give you the space you’ve asked for.”
It was difficult to tell in the semidarkness, and with her wrapped up in a coat and scarf, but he was certain she’d stilled as her face paled. Almost as if space from him was the last thing she really wanted. His heart kicked with longing for her, but neither of them could go on this way. It was make-or-break time.
Saved by the Firefighter Page 23
