by Halle Dean
"Oh," he said, dropping his arms to his sides. "Sorry. I didn't—"
"Also," she went on, "if you apologize again, I'll be forced to hit you."
"Well, I wouldn't want to incur the wrath of Sophie Cameron," he said, rolling his eyes. "Is there anything else that might force you to hit me?"
"Making smart comments," she said.
"Hmm, with those three things off limits, I suppose I won't be speaking much," he remarked.
"You're acting awfully brash," she said.
"You're acting awfully testy," he countered.
"I don't like leaving Ella," she mumbled, looking down and playing with the hem of her shirt again. "And I don't wish to see Edric again."
"I said that you should stay," Warner sighed.
"And that is not at all helpful!" she exclaimed, looking up at him again. "It was much easier when you were forcing me to go with you."
"I shouldn't have done that," he said. "I don't want to force you to do anything."
"Well, I'll need you to," she said. "Because I know you'll need me in order to save Melody."
"But—" he tried to interject.
"So," she went on, "pretend that everything is just as it was a few nights ago."
"Drag you to Coriander against your will?"
She nodded. "It would make it much easier."
"I am very uncomfortable with this request," he said, scratching the back of his head. "And I don't want everything to be like a few nights ago. I'm better for knowing that I have a daughter and I'm happier with the knowledge that you don't hate me."
"Then just act as if it's for my own good."
"I can't convince myself that you're better off being near me. Also, you are very confusing. I can't tell if you wish to help me, if you are trying to be kind to me, or if you are angry with me. And, if it's the latter, I don't know if the cause of your anger is because I'm unhappy or because I'm not unhappy enough. If you could please explain your thoughts, that would be very helpful."
"I can't explain my thoughts to myself, let alone to you," she admitted. "They're all jumbled about and trying to connect to one another. Even many of the ones that do connect make no sense to me."
"Wonderful," he said, his shoulders slumping. "No one can understand anything that's going on in either of our heads."
"We'll… sort it out," she said. "Eventually. For the moment, we must focus on helping Melody."
"Y-yes."
Warner stepped aside to let Sophie pass through the gate. She hesitated, thinking of Ella again. What if she didn't make it back? What if she never got to see her daughter again because she chose to follow Warner? But she wasn't choosing to follow Warner.
I'm choosing to save Melody, she thought resolutely. She is my friend. She would do the same for me. As they walked out of town, she kept her eyes forward. It will be all right, she told herself. Everything will be all right. But it was a hard point to sell herself on.
Sixteen
Internal War
The nightmares returned in full force. Intense visions depicting everything Warner had ever regretted doing played repeatedly. It was as if he was being punished for his night of reprieve. When he awoke with a start, he tried not to cry out. He let his eyes adjust to the moonlight before rolling over to make sure Sophie was still there.
She was curled up on the mattress, several feet from him, with the covers tucked tightly around her. She was shivering, despite him having brought several blankets over from The Void. With a sigh, he sat up and scooted closer to her. She wouldn't be waking up for a while; she always slept longer than he did. Her face was twisted in pain and he wished for some way to relieve it.
"I'm sorry, Sophie," he whispered. "I truly am. If you won't allow me to say it while you're awake, then I'll say it while you sleep."
She didn't react, still caught up in her horrible dream. Warner's chest tightened painfully as she made a small whimpering noise. Drawing his knees up to his chest, he pulled his cloak around him. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. He wanted to take her into his arms and hold her close, but he resisted the temptation.
She wouldn't want that. She wanted everything to be like the other night. It could never again be as it once was. They couldn't be together. They weren't even friends any longer.
Then why is she so insistent that she goes to the castle? other Warner asked.
I don't know, Warner inwardly grumbled. I don't understand her.
She's gone mad, other Warner remarked. You'd be better off without her.
No, you would, Warner shot back.
We're the same, other Warner pointed out.
We are not the same, Warner insisted. I have yet to learn what you are, but as long as you want to hurt Sophie, you are not me.
Why do you let her affect you? other Warner asked.
She started affecting me long before you came along. Warner rested his chin on his knees, watching Sophie struggle through her nightmare. You can't win, he told his other self. Not against her. If you haven't realized that by now, then you're not very observant.
If you haven't realized how weak she makes you, then you're not very observant, other Warner scoffed.
Warner sighed and looked up at the stars. "I know how she affects me," he said aloud. "But as long as I remain at least strong enough to keep her safe, I do not care how weak she makes me."
"What are you saying?" came the voice of a very drowsy Sophie.
Warner whipped his head back down to look at her so fast he almost hurt his neck. She was awake, but it seemed like she was fighting to keep her eyes open.
"How long have you been awake?" he asked tentatively, adjusting to sit cross-legged.
"Only a moment," she said, staring blearily at him. "Were you speaking to yourself again?"
"I'm nearly always am," he admitted. "I suppose I must work on keeping it internal."
"Why are you awake?" she asked.
"I slept enough," he said with a shrug.
She frowned at him. "You have dark circles under your eyes," she accused. "Go back to sleep."
"I can't," he protested. "I hate sleeping."
"What? Why?" she asked, bewildered.
"I don't know how you can stand to close your eyes," he said. "All I can see when I close mine are the worst things. I know you're having nightmares. I saw your face."
"Oh," she said, rolling onto her back. "Yes, sometimes it's not easy, but you can't survive long without sleep. Besides that, they're only dreams."
"Dreams of things that actually happened," he countered. "Memories of the horrible things that I did."
"They're not happening now," she said. "They're only in your mind. They may be painful, but it's not healthy to dwell on the past."
"I'm not trying to have nightmares," he retorted. "That's why I don't sleep."
"Why not use sleep magic?" she suggested. "My healer used it on me often. It provides dreamless sleep."
Yes, other Warner laughed. Use sleep magic.
"Sleep magic disables your mind," Warner said, looking down. "It's not such a good idea for me. It only disables whichever part is currently in control. Until the sleep magic wore off, the other version of me would be in control."
"Oh," she said. "So… not a good idea."
It's a fantastic idea, other Warner disagreed.
"That is what happened on that night," he explained. "I wasn't conscious for most of it. I only woke once I reached Melody."
"You don't remember destroying everything and killing the knights and maidservants?" she asked.
"Oh, I remember," he said. "He was conscious and we share memories. It's strange, remembering something that I wasn't actually awake for. It feels like that was a dream. The memories from after I woke, however, are much more vivid. The ones of Melody, your parents, and you—those are what I see when I sleep."
You make everything sound so dramatic, other Warner complained.
Do you want to explain how our memories work then? Warner asked.
/> Yes, other Warner said instantly.
Warner huffed. Well, that's not going to happen.
I'll explain it very well, other Warner insisted. Let me out.
Can you stay quiet for more than five minutes? Warner asked.
Can you be not pathetic for more than five minutes? other Warner countered.
If you call me pathetic one more time—Warner started threateningly.
You'll what? other Warner prompted. Hurt yourself? Go ahead. I won't be the one to feel it.
I don't want to hear anything else out of you! Warner thought angrily.
"Warner, are you all right?" Sophie asked warily. He lifted his head to see her sitting up and fixing him with a concerned gaze.
"Yes," he answered quickly. "Why?"
She frowned slightly, looking uncertain. "Your expression turned frightening."
"Oh," he said. "I apologize, I was only thinking to myself."
"Is he trying to make you angry again?" she asked.
Warner shrugged. "He always is. He knows that there isn't anything I can do about it."
"You truly don't know where he came from, do you?"
Warner looked up at the sky again. "I truly have no clue," he sighed. "I know that it hurt quite a lot when he first arrived. I was in the middle of sparring with the knights and I got a terrible headache. When he started speaking in my head, I ran and shut myself in my quarters."
"Is that when you placed a sleep magic spell on yourself?" she asked.
Warner lowered his gaze to her and shook his head slowly. "I didn't do that," he said. "Someone else cast it on me and fled before I could see them. I heard the voice, but never recalled who it belonged to. I know them, though—I'm almost certain."
"Sleep magic makes the few moments before you sleep and after you wake fuzzy and strange," Sophie said.
"But you'd think I'd remember from his point of view," he said, tapping the side of his head with two fingers.
Well, I don't remember either, other Warner defended.
I know that, Warner thought. It's not as if you can keep secrets from me.
That would be too convenient, other Warner said wistfully. That's what I should be studying at the Magics Society.
I should be studying how to make you be quiet, Warner snapped. You're so distracting. I'm trying to speak with Sophie.
I don't wish to speak with her, other Warner grumbled. I wish to kill her.
That won't happen, Warner assured. You cannot annoy me into submission.
Other Warner laughed. I'll have to try harder.
Warner noticed that Sophie was watching him and he started to feel self-conscious.
"How difficult is it to ignore him?" she asked. "There are times when I can tell when he's talking to you because your eyes go unfocused. Can you not simply act as if he isn't present?"
"I can ignore him as easily as I can ignore my other thoughts," he shrugged. "I am unable to block him out, like I can with other people. I will always hear him since he is inside my own mind."
"Even if you don't want to?" she asked.
"I haven't found a way to ignore him yet," he shrugged. He paused for a moment. "Though, when we were at the Smiths' home, he went silent twice."
"Is that so?" she asked. "Does that happen often?"
"Never," he responded. "I thought he was somehow gone. It was very strange. I even slept through the night."
"That's odd," Sophie said. "What do you suppose caused that? Perhaps you can do it again."
No, other Warner grumbled. It was terrible.
"I think it was because of Ella," Warner admitted, scratching the back of his head.
"Ella?" Sophie repeated. "Isn't she far too young to be doing magic?"
"If I'm correct in my theory, she isn't actually doing magic," he said. "I believe that her magic is acting according to her will."
"How?" she asked.
That would be good to know, other Warner said.
Warner shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "Even so, I think that it's something to do with her."
"We'll have to hurry back to see her then," Sophie smiled.
Warner's heart skipped a beat at her smile as other Warner growled. Why does she have to do that?
Do what? Warner asked.
Why does she make me—Other Warner changed his wording mid-sentence—make you feel… strange.
Oh, that, Warner thought. I don't believe that she does it purposely. It's how she is.
How can you put up with that? other Warner asked. She does this to you constantly. She makes you feel like you need her, but you don't. You survived the last five years—
I survived miserably, Warner interrupted.
It's better than being with her, other Warner said. Letting her make you weak.
Warner fought the urge to roll his eyes. You cannot convince me that you loathe being around her, he thought. You love her as well.
Which is why she cannot stay, other Warner said matter-of-factly. The more I want her, the less I can think straight.
You'll adjust to it, Warner shrugged. I spent eighteen years with her. You can't handle a few days?
Be quiet, other Warner growled.
Ahh, now it is your turn to be vexed, Warner taunted.
Go back to sleep, other Warner grumbled.
Why? Warner scowled. So that you can torture me with nightmares?
"Warner," Sophie said, pulling him from his thoughts again. She was sitting up with all the blankets wrapped around her. Her nose was pink from the cold and her puffs of breath were visible. Warner hadn't realized how cold it had gotten. "Should we continue on?" she asked.
"We should," he said. "You can sleep in the wagon, if you wish."
"Do you wish for me to stay awake?" she offered, standing up and shivering at the loss of the warm covers. "Perhaps I can talk to you and help keep you distracted so you won't have to talk to him."
Warner smiled at her again. "You can sleep," he said, getting to his feet. He vanished the mattress but kept the blankets, picking them up off of the ground. "I'll be all right."
"Actually 'all right' or Warner 'all right'?" she asked, climbing into the wagon.
Warner's eyebrows pulled together in confusion. "What do you mean by that?"
She rolled her eyes. "You know exactly what I mean by it," she said, crossing her arms against the cold.
See? other Warner said. You can't even lie to her properly. She's too much.
She's perfect, Warner disagreed.
"Warner?" she said again, waiting for an answer.
"I'm actually all right," he said. "For the moment, at least." He held the blankets out to her, trying to keep his distance. She seemed fairly comfortable with him at the moment, and he didn't want to ruin that by getting too close. "Do you want the blankets? It won't get much warmer until the sun rises, and that isn't for hours."
"Yes," she said gratefully. "Thank you." She took the blankets and wrapped them around herself, dropping one on the ground in the process. "Oh," she mumbled, looking down at it. Warner waved his hand and it vanished. "Warner!" she protested, laying down on her side and looking up at him. "I was using that."
"You have three others," he pointed out.
"It's cold," she said, demonstrating her point by shivering. He waved his hand and the blanket materialized over her. "Thank you." She smiled at him again, from inside her cocoon. He had to look away so she wouldn't see the grin that spread across his face.
She is so beautiful, he thought wistfully.
She needs to stop, other Warner protested. This is unfair.
You'll have to deal with it, Warner shrugged, taking hold of the wagon handle.
Leave her here, other Warner suggested. Forget killing her. I need to get away from her.
Warner chuckled quietly, so that Sophie wouldn't hear. She's really affecting you, isn't she?
No! Stop being so chipper, other Warner said in annoyance. This isn't going to work out in your favor. You can't be with her.
<
br /> Warner frowned as he pulled the wagon along. He knew his dark half was trying to upset him, but he also knew that he was right. He couldn't be with Sophie. Even if they did manage to get rid of the dark part of him, she would still have the terrible memories. Not to mention, he was a wanted criminal in their kingdom.
I know... he thought.
This will only end in tears, other Warner said icily. You can't have a happy ending.
Then I'll make the most of the time I have now.
Seventeen
Knight Captain Mason
Lane was furious. He had lost the trail again. The other knights were sitting around the fire, laughing at some story. How could they laugh at a time like this? They were failing.
Lane couldn't eat he was so upset with himself. Instead, he sat against a tree with his arms crossed. They were on their way back to Coriander. Once he had realized Warner had fooled him, he had spent an entire day trying to track him and the impostor down. Eventually, he found a trail indicating that they were headed towards Coriander.
If they are working together to take over, then it makes sense for them to head back there, Lane thought. I should have killed him when I had the opportunity. I wonder if Edric knew that he could do magic. He very likely did—the bastard.
"Captain?" Alex said, causing Lane to look up. "Did you hear that? Patrick says the next town has a speed port. If we use that, we can make it back to the castle before Warner."
"Wouldn't it make more sense to find him before he reaches the castle?" Blue, the youngest of the knights, asked.
Lion, Blue's elder brother, shook his head. "At this point, we won't find him," he said. "This is Warner we're dealing with."
"We found him before though," Blue pointed out.
"By accident," Lane grumbled. "If we hadn't happened to walk into that particular tavern, we might have missed him completely."
"Besides," Patrick cut in, "even if we did catch up to him—and managed to keep him from vanishing—we still do not stand much chance in a fight."
"Let's not be pessimistic," Blue said. "He's only one man."
