by J. Bengtsson
“Oh, god!” Dad groaned. He always did hate our frank sex talks. “Get out. All of you!”
“Don’t listen to him,” Mom said, waving off his demands. Her face was already aglow with the promise of juicy gossip. “Why don’t you just go out and find yourself a nice woman, then? Instead of dirtying up perfectly good socks?”
“Well, dammit, Mom. Why didn’t I think of that?” Luke pretended to write her advice down on an imaginary piece of paper. “Have sex with actual woman.”
“You cannot tell me that no one is interested. You’re the full package.”
“The great thing about moms,” he said in mock admiration, “is how truly delusional they are when it comes to their own offspring.”
“Oh, please. She’s right,” I said. “You’re handsome…”
“Uh-huh,” Luke agreed.
“Funny…”
“Uh-huh.”
“Tall…”
“Uh-huh.”
“And employed.”
“Uh-huh. All valid points except you forgot about the elephant in the room.” Luke grabbed his belly to emphasize that he was the oversized mammal in question.
He’d always been a bigger kid, his whole life. While Miles and I were on the shorter, scrawnier side, Luke had been not only awkwardly tall from a young age, but also impossibly wide. It wasn’t like his size had ever stopped him; in fact, by the time he was eight or nine, Luke had football coaches dropping to their knees in gratitude. Not only was he a big boy, but he also had a fighting spirit that propelled him to sports stardom in high school and beyond. But without the daily practice that had defined his school years, Luke had added some extra weight and had been struggling to lose it ever since.
“If you can’t find a good woman because you’re carrying a few extra pounds,” Mom said, “then clearly you’re looking in all the wrong places.”
“It’s not a few extra, but thanks for the understatement,” Luke said, sighing. “I’ve got to get my ass moving and not just to the refrigerator. Too bad I can’t afford a personal trainer, like some people I know.”
Jake looked up as if he’d just realized the ‘some people’ Luke was referring to happened to be him. “If you’re talking about me, I don’t have a trainer.”
My brother grimaced. “Of course you don’t.”
“I hear the gym is a great place to meet women,” Mom piped in, never one to give up on a challenge.
“Oh, I’m sure it is… if you look like him.” Luke aggressively singled out my husband-to-be. “Or any one of his goddamn brothers. You guys suck.”
“You’re deflecting. Stay focused on the task at hand. What about a Starbucks, or a park? Or hell, Luke, just head for the corner bar. I’m okay with your betrothed being able to pound them down as long as she has the will power to lay off the liquid while she’s pregnant.” Mom was digging deep now.
“Interesting. And would you also accept a drug addict, as long as she halts her heroin intake while my child is in utero?”
Mom’s eyes were lit with amusement. “I mean, if that’s all I can get, I guess.”
“Why don’t you just meet your baby mama online, like everyone else?” I suggested.
“You don’t think I’ve tried? Trust me, that’s not the solution. A few weeks ago, they suggested my cousin.”
“What?” I gaped, unable to control the snickering. “Wait – first or second cousin?”
“Again, does it really matter? What is it with you and Mom and your weird questions?”
No one was listening to his objections as we were all holding our breath in anticipation of the answer. Even Dad yelled from the bathroom, demanding to know which cousin.
“Fine – it was Brooke.”
“Brooke?” Mom blurted out at the exact moment her brows hit the ceiling. “Harvard grad Brooke?”
“That would be the one. And let me just say, tomorrow’s going to be exceedingly awkward.”
“Good lord, whatever did the two of you have in common?”
“Apparently we both like dogs – and shared genetics.”
“Well, that’s just… wow, just awesome, Luke,” Mom cooed. “I’m sure the two of you will make a lovely couple.”
“Uh-huh, have a good laugh, but unless you’re okay with your grandchildren sporting an extra nostril and a smattering of belly buttons, then Brooke’s probably not an ideal choice.”
“So you’re telling me you haven’t found one interesting woman on those dating sites?” I asked. “Three quarters of the population under forty are signed up.”
“Oh, I’ve found interesting women, but the only ones interested in me are… how should I put this nicely… cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.”
“How about you try to revise your shallow points system?” Mom proposed.
“Are you suggesting I go below a four?” Luke blurted out, clearly offended. “Jesus, Mom. Thanks for the support. I’m not a bad-looking guy. If I got rid of a spare tire or two, I’m fairly confident I could rank higher than I currently do, but until then, I’ll have to settle for the Heathers of the world.”
“Do I even want to know?”
“I think you need to know what I’m dealing with here. I came across this woman on Tinder, totally within my range, and she looked sweet. Nice smile. But then I scrolled down.”
“No, dude!” Jake said, clearly enjoying Luke’s misadventures. “Never scroll down.”
“Well, I did!” he spat back, trying to maintain his livid exterior, although the smile threatening to break free gave him away. “Nothing I can do about it now. Anyway, I read her tagline, and it’s all in third person. Heather likes brisk walks in the park. Heather likes candlelight dinners by the water. Heather likes microwaving small, defenseless animals. Uh, yeah, Heather, I’m no relationship expert, but I think I know why you’re still single.”
“Okay,” Dad said, finally exiting the bathroom with a newspaper wadded under his arm. “So meet a woman the old-fashioned way… at work.”
“I sell generators, Dad. My job is not sexually friendly. Most of my clients are doomsday survivalists, and let’s just say their daughters don’t shower as often as they probably should.”
“But on the plus side,” Jake added, “you might survive the apocalypse.”
“Yes, this is true, but the question is… would I want to?”
“I give up,” Dad said, throwing his hands up in defeat before turning to my mother. “We can’t even get him a basement dweller, Linda. I think we can both agree that this one’s a lost cause. Let’s focus our hopes and dreams on Casey and Jake.”
“I’m with you,” Mom agreed.
Miles made it with a minute to spare. He stepped into the room munching on a bag of peanut M&Ms.
“You were paroled.” Luke brightened up. “Good for you.”
“Only after taking Riley to the lobby and making him apologize for what he’d done. The kid was bawling. Hopefully he’s learned a valuable lesson.”
“I should say the same for his daddy,” Mom reprimanded.
“I already got reamed by Darcy,” Miles grumbled. “I don’t need your input.”
“I see you’re eating the stolen contraband.”
Miles smiled sheepishly before throwing a few more chocolates in his mouth. “Someone has to. Darcy wouldn’t let him touch the candy after what he did. It would send the wrong message.”
“Oh, right. Right.” Mom nodded.
“Anyway, I have to be back by midnight, so let’s get this party started. I just got the text from Keith. It’s in the recreation room downstairs.”
Jake reluctantly unraveled his body from mine and stood up. He hadn’t wanted a bachelor party – insisted against one, even – but, after lengthy negotiations with Keith, he’d relented. In exchange for his cooperation, Jake had been promised a low-key affair. It wasn’t that he was opposed to having a good time with the guys, but when you’re a world famous musician trying to pull off a secret wedding, getting photographed stuffing dollar bills in
to a G-string is probably not the best way to stay under the radar.
Even though Jake had taken a hands-off approach to the wedding preparation, there was one thing he had asked for – and that was a private, laidback ceremony, away from the prying eyes of a curious world. But keeping our wedding a secret proved well beyond my skill set, so in addition to hiring Boris, Jake had assembled a team of players to coordinate the entire production, complete with a security detail that rivaled the Secret Service.
Once they took over the specifics, my job had basically become picking out color swatches… and lying. Oh, so much lying. See, for security and privacy reasons, no one could know where the wedding would be taking place. Our guests were simply given a ‘save-the-date’ and nothing more. The actual venue would be revealed the day before the ceremony, and travel arrangements would be prearranged for those coming from out of town.
My friends, my extended family, and even curious onlookers on the street pestered me endlessly for wedding details, but every word out of my mouth was a bald-faced lie. I had us marrying all over the west coast, had grossly overestimated the size of the venue, and had greatly embellished our guest list to include not only celebrities of the A-list variety but also kings and queens… of smaller countries, of course. The point was to throw everyone off our tail, especially the press, whom my lies always seemed to trickle down to. No one, and I mean no one, would predict our wedding would take place in a quaint little church in Arizona with seating for no more than one hundred and fifty of our nearest and dearest.
Jake lived his life in the spotlight, and as his significant other, so now did I. And although I’d come to accept that for the rest of my life, I’d share my man with millions of others, this ceremony – our wedding – was ours alone. We’d both agreed we wanted to take it back to where it all began because, well, Jake and I were sentimental that way. The place that had brought us together would also be the one to wed us in holy matrimony.
“Dave, last chance,” Jake said, addressing my father. “Bachelor party with the guys or mud mask with the wife? What’ll it be?”
“Neither… it’s earplugs and a pillow for me. But here’s a dollar. Please stuff it somewhere for me tonight.”
“Not happening.” Jake grinned, giving it right back. “My hands will remain firmly on my lap.”
“Um, I’m thinking all our hands will be on our laps,” Luke said, winking. “To avoid, you know, embarrassment.”
“Keith wouldn’t dare hire entertainment. He knows better.”
“Does he, though?” Luke’s voice went up an octave. “I don’t know your brother very well, but he strikes me as a slow learner.”
Jake laughed, and then reached for my hands and pulled me to my feet.
“Give us a second,” he said to my brothers, before leading me out into the hallway and shutting the door.
Still holding my hands, Jake quirked his lips into a mischievous grin and took a few steps back, guiding me along with a spicy swivel of his hips. My body moved in unison, matching him step for step in a suggestive little salsa. The flirtatious flickering of his eyes effortlessly reeled me in and kept me dangling helplessly on his line. What was he up to? This seductive show he was putting on would lead us nowhere, and we both knew it.
“What are you doing?” I asked, the slightest quivering of my lips the only giveaway of how his animal magnetism was getting to me in the most sensual of ways.
Jake jerked me forward, enveloping my body in his arms as his hands gripped my buttocks, and his heated breath prickled the skin of my sensitive neck. “Wishing,” he murmured.
“Wishing what?” My words came out more like a moan as I pressed into the erection straining beneath the rough fabric of his jeans.
“Wishing I was spending tonight with you and not a bunch of dudes.”
His fingers dipped lower, sending twinges of heat throughout my body and forcing a shuddering gasp from my lips.
“Stop,” I protested, pushing him back, and feeling the immediate cooling of the air between us. My body still inflamed, I quaked a little at the lack of physical contact and slapped his shoulder in frustration. “Don’t promise me a service you can’t provide.”
He reached for me again, but I shied away. Attempting to ward him off, I held my hands out in front of me, but Jake performed some wickedly cool crossover move, hooking his arm around my waist and pulling me in again. Our eyes met in a fiery display just as our lips made contact and his mouth crushed into mine. We stayed in the tight embrace for longer than was appropriate in a public place, and when we finally broke apart, I was a quivering mass of sexual energy.
“Just something to remember me by tonight,” he whispered.
“Me? I won’t be the one with a naked stripper’s ass gyrating in my lap.”
“Nor will I, I assure you.”
“You say that now, but what happens when they get a little alcohol into you?”
“Casey,” he said, playfully mocking my words. “I promise, you are the only woman I’ll ever allow to rub her ass all over me. ”
I couldn’t stop the smile that traveled across my lips. He was just so damn hot with that confident swagger of his. And truthfully, I wasn’t concerned. Jake had never given me a reason to doubt him, so I didn’t. Taking his long, agile fingers gently in mine, I led him to the end of the hall and stopped in front of a large picture window.
Jake, his carnal bravado tempered, placed his hands on my hips. “So, this is it, huh?”
“I guess it is,” I answered, staring into his eyes and falling for him all over again. “I really am going to miss you tonight.”
“Tell me again why we can’t spend it together?”
“You know why, Jake. The groom can’t see the bride before the wedding because… well, I actually don’t know why, but it’s tradition, and you will cooperate.”
“I’m not saying I won’t. I’m just saying it’s stupid.”
“Your objection is duly noted.”
Jake playfully dipped his head into my neck, the scratchy stubble of his unshaven face tickling my skin and sending shivers racing down my spine. I leaned back, touching the sides of his face and setting a gentle kiss to his lips. “If you’re a good boy at your bachelor party, I promise you a wedding night to remember.”
“I’m always good.”
“Says the rock star.” I grinned. “Okay, so here’s a thought. Just because we can’t see each other doesn’t mean we can’t talk on the phone, you know?”
“For phone sex?” he asked, perking up.
“No, Jake. No more sex until we’re married. Surely you can wait one day.”
Jake’s brows angled as if he were perplexed by something. “Why would we be talking on the phone, then? I don’t get it.”
“Um… just to talk, duh.”
Opening his eyes wide, Jake laughed and pulled away. “Oh, hell no. You can’t have it both ways. If we’re not sharing a bed, I sure as hell don’t want you yapping in my ear all night.”
Gasping in mock annoyance, I smacked him in the chest. “I can’t believe I’m marrying such a heathen.”
“Your choice,” Jake stated matter-of-factly. “Say the word and we’ll call it off.”
His words rang in my ears as I tried to make sense of their meaning. After the expression I’d seen in the mirror earlier, even teasing about such things played into my fears. “Why would you say that?”
Jake instantly backtracked. “I was just kidding.”
“Well, it wasn’t funny.”
We locked eyes, and I swear I saw a flash of that damn Drano face again before he corrected himself.
“I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to say.”
We stood there staring at each other uncomfortably before Jake shifted his gaze out the window. Something was definitely off with him, and the anxiety was eating me up inside. This was a conversation that couldn’t wait fourteen hours.
“Jake?”
Reluctantly he turned back to me. “What?”
“I’m catching a strange vibe from you, and it’s freaking me out a little bit.”
“I’m fine, Casey. I just made a stupid joke, and you’re overanalyzing it like you do everything. Maybe I’m a little nervous, is all. I don’t get married every day.”
“I feel like you’re having second thoughts… like maybe you don’t want to marry me anymore.”
Jake’s body visibly stiffened. “It was a joke, Casey. Trust me, I want to be with you. I love you. That’s the one thing I am sure of.”
The way he said it, filled with uncertainty and strife, sent a chill through me. “What other things aren’t you sure of?”
A prolonged silence stilted the conversation. Jake leaned back against the windowpane, struggling to find the words, or maybe trying to come up with a plausible lie.
“Is it about the therapy sessions? Are the nightmares back? You know you can trust me. Whatever you have to say, I’ll listen and I won’t judge. You know that, right?”
“Yeah. I know,” he said, with a hint of irritation. “And if I have anything to say, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Will I be? I mean you were pretty secretive with me about why you ended the sessions. I just want to be there for you, but I can’t if you keep secrets from me.”
“An unhealthy chunk of my life has been kept a secret from you, Casey. You knew that about me before accepting my proposal. You can’t change the rules now, not on the eve of our wedding.”
“If you want to get technical, Jake, you’re the one who changed the rules. One of the things you promised was that you’d get therapy. That lasted three months.”
“You never said how long it needed to last.”
“Me? I wasn’t the one who suggested it in the first place. Please get your story straight.”
Jake didn’t have a response to that. He knew as well as I did that what I was saying was true. I’d never pushed him into therapy; it was after a conversation with Kyle that he’d come to the conclusion he needed it.
