by Karin Baine
‘I...uh...’ She scrabbled around for her bag. There should be an emergency compact in there and she’d handle this better if she wasn’t so exposed.
She couldn’t even look at Joe now her big secret had been revealed in its full gory glory. Goodness knew what he was thinking. Probably how much of a lucky escape he’d had.
‘It’s a birthmark. Just a different coloured patch of skin Emily was born with. We’re lucky she feels comfortable enough with us to stop hiding it under her make-up.’ Joe shot her a smile warm enough to thaw out her bones, which were chilled after being called out on her deception. Bless him, he was trying to make this easy on her when he’d been the one kept in the dark.
She was torn now between doing a last-minute cover-up, pretending this had never happened, or playing along that this had been a deliberate move on her part. Joe wasn’t stupid, he’d have known she’d never have intentionally ‘come out’ and left herself open to such scrutiny. It was testament to his strength of character for trying to save her blushes when it must have been a shock to his system to see her like this. Greg wouldn’t have been so accommodating. He would’ve escorted her to the nearest mirror to rectify her glaring blunder. Although he wouldn’t have let her leave the house make-up-free in the first place, never mind make excuses for her. He’d always made her feel as though she earned more respect from people when she perpetuated the lie about her true appearance.
She was lucky to have met a man who didn’t need to put her down and always did his best to make her comfortable in her surroundings. No matter what the circumstances. That total acceptance of her as a person was something rare in her world.
‘Does it hurt?’ Joni was still staring at her face, which was aflame with the continued line of questioning.
‘No. I forget it’s even there.’ That wasn’t strictly true. Apart from today when it had apparently gone completely out of her head, that wretched port wine stain was the bane of her existence.
It was a boring enough answer for the child to lose interest.
‘Will I have a scar?’ he asked as Joe finished dressing his knee.
‘No. You should be all healed up in a day or two. Now, get yourself off to school before your teacher sends out a search party for you.’
Joni looked remarkably disappointed not to have a long-lasting reminder of his injury as he hopped down off the bed. ‘I suppose I’ll see you later, then.’
At least when he was engrossed in his own woes it stopped him gawping at her as though she was a sideshow attraction. The novelty usually wore off but that initial shock and revulsion was always difficult to stomach. Sometimes children could be the worst, laughing and pointing at her affliction, too young to understand the pain it would cause, but Joni had been quite straightforward about the matter. He’d asked questions and once they’d been answered it was no longer an issue. He’d made no judgement on her as a person because of her physical disfigurement.
It suddenly struck her that Sou and Miriama had also seen her without her camouflage. That explained the curious stares that she’d put down to her Joe-enhanced mood but they’d just been too polite to comment.
A woman with a dark red birthmark apparently wasn’t anything the people of Yasi were going to waste energy thinking about when they were working so hard to just get by themselves. Physical attractiveness didn’t hold much meaning out here because it had no effect on their quality of life. That’s the way it should be; the way Emily preferred it. Except when she was unashamedly ogling Joe, of course. She was aware of the irony.
Joe. He’d seen her long before Sou or Joni had come onto the scene and he hadn’t blinked, hadn’t felt the need to point it out to her.
She opened her mouth, trying to find the words she needed to express what that meant to her, and failing. His easy acceptance was already making her tear up.
‘Is everything all right with Sou? I think Joni was only trying to avoid class. He spends so much time here we should probably find him a job.’
She couldn’t believe he wasn’t even going to mention her birthmark. Honestly, she was finding his nonchalance even more disturbing than the boy’s reaction. It wasn’t the norm and, as such, she didn’t know how to handle it.
In the end she decided to go with honesty and straight talking. Another new first when it came to relationships for her.
‘Are you really going to stand there and pretend nothing’s wrong?’
‘What are you talking about?’ His naivety on the subject was annoying her now. No one could possibly be that oblivious to her predicament.
‘This.’ She couldn’t believe she was voluntarily pointing out her flaw.
‘Oh, your birthmark? I see it. So what?’ He shrugged, increasing the chances of her giving him a good shake.
‘So what, he says. You could have given me a heads up I’d gone out in public like this.’ She didn’t know why she was taking her mistake out on him when he’d been nothing but supportive. Her lashing out might have had something to do with this being the most vulnerable she’d felt since arriving on the island.
‘As I said to Joni, I’d assumed you were actually comfortable enough around us to stop hiding away.’
‘You weren’t shocked? I mean, this ugly big mess can take some getting used to.’ Nearly thirty years of living with it hadn’t made it any easier for her so she didn’t expect anyone else to take it in their stride the way Joe had.
‘If I’m honest, I knew about it. I’ve seen the family photos Peter carries around with him but even if I hadn’t it doesn’t make any difference to me.’
Emily had to admit that took the shine off his brilliance somewhat. He’d had time to prepare himself for the great revelation. Unlike her discovery about his hearing problem. Perhaps the knowledge of her struggles with defective body parts had been what had drawn him to her in the first place and had made her seem attractive as another damaged soul. If something appeared too good to be true, it usually was.
‘Hey. Your birthmark is part of you. How could it be anything other than beautiful?’ He tilted her chin up so she had to look in his eyes and believe what she saw there—pure, undiluted desire.
Whether he’d had advance warning or not, whether she covered up or not, he always looked at her as though she was the sexiest woman alive. There was no greater compliment for a woman like her. When he’d said her birthmark didn’t matter to him, holding her gaze this way, she was more inclined to believe it.
Joe leaned forward and placed a light kiss on the exact spot between her cheek and her nose where her greatest weakness blazed brightly. She held her breath. It was one of those moments she’d dreamed of, when someone would embrace her, warts and all, not shy away from any part of her. She’d never had that complete acceptance from Greg and, despite being together so long, she’d always been slightly on edge. With good reason, it had turned out.
Joe was different. He believed in qualities and causes that mattered, not superficial nonsense that held no significant meaning. He was a special person. One with whom her time was limited.
Typical.
If she was only to encounter this kind of acceptance once in her lifetime she should really immerse herself in the experience. No holding back. No regrets. Be herself without conditions.
For the first time in her life she was seriously considering ditching her camouflage on a permanent basis and really letting loose. It was a bold move she would never have undertaken without Joe’s unconditional support, and she was keen to share the rest of the adventure with him.
CHAPTER EIGHT
THERE WERE TIMES when Joe needed his medical work to give his life meaning and other times it was something he felt compelled to do. Today it felt like the latter. He’d volunteered to come to Yasi because he’d genuinely wanted to help, and he still did, but the success of the clinic had curtailed his person
al life. That hadn’t been a problem up until now. He’d spent all day treating one patient after another with Emily almost within arm’s reach. It was torture if he was expected to forget everything that had happened between them.
He shouldn’t complain, though, when their outreach yesterday had garnered so many follow-up appointments. It would go a long way towards improving the long-term health of the inhabitants. At one point they’d had a queue outside of people waiting to be seen for check-ups, which hadn’t happened since he’d set up the clinic. Such an influx could’ve been overwhelming for Emily, especially since she’d chosen not to cover up her birthmark again. Of course there’d been comments and stares but she’d dealt with them all without any upset or drama, as if she’d reconciled herself about living without the make-up.
When she’d turned up this morning, her natural beauty shining through, all he’d wanted to do was take her in his arms and kiss her. It didn’t matter it had turned out to have been an oversight on her part, her actions since had established her bravery and made him want her more. Every inadvertent brush against each other since had simply increased his desire to act on that impulse—impossible given their circumstances, not to mention the room full of people between them for most of the day. He couldn’t afford to let anyone else down when he was still coming to terms with the last time he’d failed people who had needed his help.
They were making a difference here and that’s what was important. Along with minor ailments and a test of his suturing skills on one of the local craftsmen, who’d whittled his hand instead of the wood he was supposed to be carving, they’d uncovered a few more serious health issues in the older population. Emily had confided in him about Sou, but diabetes, along with hypertension, wasn’t an uncommon problem in remote regions like Yasi. Without adequate primary health care access and education, the rates of non-communicable diseases were often high and many cardiovascular risk factors also went unchecked. He already had a list of patients who’d require further investigation and treatment in proper hospital facilities.
In turn, the island was also doing Emily the power of good. That creep of an ex-husband had taken a sledgehammer to her confidence with his callous behaviour but she was flourishing out here. The same woman who forty-eight hours ago had been unable to walk more than twenty paces without touching up her make-up and had wanted to hide from company was fresh-faced and joking about with the locals.
She’d told all manner of tall tales to explain the birthmark, making light of it to avoid any awkwardness. He’d even heard her tell one curious patient it was the result of dodgy suncream application. By the time she revealed the truth it didn’t seem to matter any more. Talking about it somehow made it less of a big deal and it was great to see Emily comfortable in her own skin. She didn’t need him to wrap her in cotton wool when she was making such great progress on her own. It made his life easier too if she wasn’t relying on him to act as intermediary any more.
‘I’ve got another patient to add to the list of referrals. His heartbeat is irregular and he’s out of breath. I’d be happier if he had an ECG to see what’s going on in there.’ Emily was all business as she approached him during a lull. She’d wound her hair up into a topknot and Joe’s hand twitched to reach out and pluck out the pen holding it in place.
He gave himself a shake to rid himself of the image of her shaking her hair loose and showed her he could be just as professional. ‘If you jot down all his details I’m going to make a few calls on the satellite phone later to the medical outreach co-ordinator and the hospital to get people here as soon as possible. Perhaps they can arrange communal transport to save money and effort in the transfer.’
‘Like a community day trip? I suppose they could take a picnic and do some sightseeing on the way.’ The corner of her mouth curved up as she teased him.
‘Careful or I’ll appoint you as tour rep.’
‘I’d say you’re the man for the job, not me. I imagine you’d be really good.’
He knew she was referring to the introductions he’d made for her around the island, yet the unintended innuendo immediately brought a groan from his inner Neanderthal. Given the chance with Emily he’d show her just how good he could be.
Her cheeks flushed scarlet as though she was reading his X-rated thoughts. The only thing more frustrating than not being able to act on his attraction to Emily was being aware that she wanted him too.
She made a move towards the new batch of patients hovering nearby, but Joe was finding it hard to let the moment pass without recognising the frisson of sexual energy they’d created in the space of a few seconds. Despite the buzz and whirr of the neon danger signs around her, he enjoyed Emily’s company and the adrenaline rush he got simply from being around her.
He leaned down to whisper in her ear as she passed by. ‘Why don’t we get together tonight?’
Her eyes nearly popped out of her head at the suggestion. Clearly her thoughts were as muddled as his own about his motives. ‘I, er...’
‘You know, to catch up on that patient transfer list.’ They could play it safe, didn’t have to do anything other than chat about their working day. It would be novelty enough for him to entertain a guest, without getting into trouble with Peter’s sibling and causing all manner of problems.
‘Oh, yes. Of course. I’d also appreciate your help in devising some sort of healthy eating plan for Sou. We could even draw up an easy-to-read guide on healthier living for everyone to explain the basics.’
‘Why don’t we do it over dinner?’
‘Here?’
‘Sure. Leave it with me. As soon as we wrap up here you go and get freshened up and I’ll rustle up some food for us. Just a quiet dinner for two.’ So far, all their meals had been very public affairs where she’d found it difficult to relax. He wanted to change that for her without the pressure of structured proceedings. Just work talk and chill.
‘That would be nice.’
‘So it’s a date, then?’ He couldn’t stop himself from teasing her one last time.
‘It’s a date,’ she confirmed, before resuming her work duties. The smile on her face eased the sense of loss as she turned away, knowing he’d been the one to put it there.
He had no expectations for anything beyond a nice evening together. A working dinner sounded more manageable for both of them long-term than an appointment for hot, unforgettable sex. Although he imagined that’s exactly what would happen if they ever gave in to temptation.
That thought wasn’t going to help this day go any faster.
* * *
The butterflies in her stomach might be older and more cynical than they had been fifteen years ago when she’d gone on her first date to the cinema, but they weren’t any less mobile on this non-date. She was playing with fire tonight and she knew it. Joe had made it clear he didn’t intend anything other than work-related conversation, but their apparent chemistry had a way of throwing them off track. She took full responsibility for last night’s descent into madness and she wasn’t ashamed of it. Taking the initiative had given her a confidence boost, especially when he’d been so responsive to her advances, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to take things any further than that. Joe was an experienced man of the world who’d invariably expect more than a kiss in the moonlight.
Although she’d initially been disappointed they hadn’t carried on where they’d left off, it was probably better they let things cool off. As much as she wanted to exorcise her demons once and for all, she wasn’t ready to sleep with anyone yet, not even someone who was so accepting of her, flaws and all. While the idea of sharing Joe’s bed was appealing on the surface, it would probably only give her more issues to worry about. Including all the ways in which he could find her lacking as a lover, given her limited experience.
Until she fully overcame her personal issues she’d have to make do with the exhilarati
on of anticipation instead. This was the most alive she’d felt since the divorce, when all hope inside her for the future had seemed to have died along with her marriage. Even the idea he might want to sleep with her had definitely got the blood pumping back in her veins and that was enough for now.
She’d come armed as she entered the battlefield tonight where hormones would fight against her battered heart for supremacy. Flowers and chocolates were usually the gifts to bring on such an auspicious occasion but stationery was her particular weapon of choice this evening. An armful of paper, glue and coloured markers seemed like a good distraction from the beds that would dominate tonight’s dinner venue.
She’d informed Miriama she’d be working late and wouldn’t be around for supper when she’d gone back to change. There wasn’t much to choose from in her limited wardrobe but she’d gone with Capri pants and a navy and white polka-dot halterneck for what she hoped was a touch of vintage glamour. It had taken longer for her decide on her make-up for the evening. While using her thick foundation could be seen as taking a step backwards, there weren’t many women who’d get ready for an evening in male company without a little extra help. After much debate she’d decided a sweep of mascara over her eyelashes and a dab of lip-gloss would do just fine.
She’d taken so much time and care over her appearance she hadn’t given a thought to how Joe would look tonight. When he opened the door to her she hadn’t expected to see him in anything other than his casual T-shirt and shorts combo. So the more formal cream-coloured linen trousers and unbuttoned white shirt he was rocking had her eyes out on stalks.
