‘On with the contest, Ulaid,’ said Cet. ‘You will not carve the pig yet,’ said Muinremur son of Gerrgend. ‘Is this Muinremur?’ asked Cet. I have finally cleaned my spears, Muinremur. It is not six days since I took three warriors’ heads about the head of your first-born son from your land.’ Muinremur sat down.
‘On with the contest!’ said Cet. ‘You will have that!’ said Mend son of Salchad. ‘Who is this?’ asked Cet. ‘Mend son of Salchad,’ said everyone. ‘What next!’ said Cet. ‘Now sons of herdsmen with nicknames are challenging me. I am the priest who baptized your father with that name, for I struck his heel with my sword so that he took but one foot away. What could bring the son of a one-footed man to challenge me?’ Mend sat down.
‘On with the contest!’ said Cet. ‘You will have that!’ said a large, grey, very ugly Ulaid warrior. ‘Who is this?’ asked Cet. ‘Celtchair son of Uthechar,’ said everyone. ‘Just one moment, Celtchair, unless you want to crush me immediately. I arrived at the entrance to your house once; there was screaming and everyone came to the door and you with them. You cast your spear at me, but I cast another spear at you so that it pierced your thighs and your testicles. Since then you have fathered no sons or daughters. What could bring you to challenge me?’ Celtchair sat down.
‘On with the contest!’ said Cet. ‘You will have that!’ said Cúscraid Mend Machae son of Conchubur. ‘Who is this?’ asked Cet. ‘Cúscraid,’ said everyone, ‘and he has the look of a king.’ ‘No thanks to you, Cet,’ said the lad. ‘Right that is,’ answered Cet. ‘You came to Connachta for your first feat of arms, and we met at the border. You abandoned one third of your retinue and left with a spear through your neck, so that today you have not a proper word in your head – the spear injured the cords in your throat. Since then you have been called Cúscraid Mend.’ Cet thus brought shame upon the entire province of Ulaid.
Knife in hand, then, Cet was exulting over the pig when Conall Cernach entered the hostel; he leapt into the middle of the hall, and the Ulaid gave him a great welcome. Conchubur took the helmet from Conall’s head and brandished it, and Conall said ‘We will be happy to obtain our share of the pig. Who is carving?’ ‘That has been granted to the man with the knife: Cet son of Mágu,’ answered Conchubur. ‘Is it true, Cet, that you are carving?’ asked Conall.
Cet answered ‘Welcome, Conall, heart of stone, angry ardour of the lynx, glitter of ice, red strength of anger in the breast of a champion. Full of wounds, victorious in battle, you are my equal, son of Findchóem.’
Conall replied ‘Welcome, Cet son of Mágu, dwelling-place of a hero, heart of ice, plumage of a swan, strong chariot-fighter, warlike sea, fierce beautiful bull, Cet son of Mágu.’
Conall continued ‘All will be clear from our encounter and our separation, a famous tale told by the men of goads and witnessed by the men of awls. Noble warriors will meet in an angry combat of lions, two chariot-fighters will match angry deeds, men will step over men in this hall tonight.’
‘Now move away from the pig,’ said Conall. ‘What could bring you to it?’ asked Cet. ‘Cet, it is right that you should challenge me,’ replied Conall. ‘I will meet you in single combat. I swear by what my people swear by: since I first took spear in hand, there has not been a single day when I have not killed a Connachta warrior, not a single night when I have not destroyed with fire, and I have never slept without a Connachta head under my knee.’ ‘You are a better warrior than I, it is true,’ said Cet. ‘If Anlúan were here, he would give you another kind of contest. It is our misfortune that he is not in the house.’ ‘Oh, but he is,’ said Conall, and taking Anlúan’s head from his wallet he threw it at Cet’s breast so that a mouthful of blood splattered over the lips. Cet left the pig, then, and Conall sat down to it, saying ‘On with the contest!’ The Connachta could not find a warrior to equal him; even so, the Ulaid formed a protective shelter with their shields, for some ill-mannered guests had begun to shoot at him from the corners.
Conall then began to carve the pig. He took the end of the belly in his mouth until he had made a division, and he sucked on the belly (a burden for nine men) until not a particle was left. He did leave the foretrotters to the Connachta, however. They thought their share small; they rose, the Ulaid rose, and everyone hit someone. Blows fell upon ears until the heap on the floor reached the centre of the house and the streams of gore reached the entrances. The hosts broke through the doors, then, and a good drinking bout broke out in the courtyard, with everyone striking his neighbour. Fergus pulled up a great oak by the roots; meanwhile, the battle broke out of the courtyard and towards the outer doors.
At last, Macc Da Thó came out with the dog in hand and unleashed it to see which side it would choose. Ailbe chose the Ulaid and precipitated the slaughter of the Connachta, for they were routed. At Mag nAilbi the hound bit the chariot pole of Ailill and Medb, and there the charioteer Fer Loga struck the dog so that its body fell away and its head remained on the pole. The place is thus called Mag nAilbi.
The rout swept south past Belach Mugna, over Áth Mid bine in Maistiu, past Cill Dara, past Ráith Imgain, into Fid nGaible at Áth Macc Lugnai, past Druimm Dá Mage and over Drochet Coirpri. At Áth Chind Chon in Bile the dog’s head fell from the chariot pole. As the hosts swept west over Mide, Fer Loga, Ailill’s charioteer, hid himself in the heather; when the Ulaid came past, he leapt into a chariot and seized Conchubur by the head from behind. ‘Beware, Conchubur!’ he said. ‘Whatever you want!’ said Conchubur. ‘Not much my wish,’ answered Fer Loga: ‘Take me with you to Emuin Machae, and every evening send the women of Ulaid and their nubile daughters to sing in chorus “Fer Loga Is My Darling”.’ The Ulaid granted that, since for Conchubur’s sake they dared not refuse. A year later Fer Loga returned west across Áth Lúain, taking with him two of Conchubur’s horses and golden bridles for both.
The Intoxication of the Ulaid
Introduction
One of the wildest and most comical of the Ulaid stories, ‘The Intoxication of the Ulaid’ reveals both a mythic and a historical subtext. The text itself, however, is a problem. The story survives incomplete in both of our early manuscripts, and while the Lebor na huidre account takes up about where the Book of Leinster account leaves off, the juncture is only approximate. Moreover, the two versions are quite disparate: names change (Triscatail becomes Triscoth; Róimít turns into Réordae), roles change (the gadfly part played by Bricriu is taken up by Dubthach Dóeltenga), important plot elements (such as the iron house) disappear altogether. The Lebor na huidre version is generally less psychological and less refined, and, while it has its own merits, it is frustrating not to know how the Book of Leinster story would have been resolved.
The mythic subtext harbours the remains of a ritual killing story. ‘The Intoxication of the Ulaid’ takes place at Samuin, which as the end of the old year and the beginning of the new one would have been an appropriate time for a new king to replace an old one; moreover, there are traditions that make Cú Chulaind and Cú Ruí rivals, and in ‘The Death of Cú Ruí’, Cú Chulaind kills Cú Ruí for the sake of his wife, Bláthnait (another example of the regeneration motif found so often in these stories). The idea appears also in ‘The Destruction of Da Derga’s Hostel’ (which takes place at Samuin and wherein invaders attempt to burn and perhaps drown Conare) and in ‘The Destruction of Dind Rig’ (wherein Labraid burns Cobthach in an iron house).
The historical subtext treats the theme of tribal warfare that obtains in all three stories. It may well be that, in an older recension, ‘The Intoxication of the Ulaid’ described an attack by the Ulaid upon Temuir, which would have been a much more logical target. Subsequently, however, the story was grafted on to a mythological fragment involving Cú Chulaind and Cú Ruí, and since the ‘historical’ Cú Ruí had been localized in the south-west, it became necessary to reconcile that tradition with the one about the attack on Temuir. The result: Temuir Lúachra (Temuir of the Rushes), located, conveniently, in south-west Ireland.
In any case, the storytellers have turned the improbability of the Ulaid’s careering across Ériu into a splendidly comic tale. What might have been a heroic foray is reduced to a drunken stagger; Cú Chulaind’s inability to navigate from Dún Dá Bend to Dún Delga except by way of Temuir Lúachra (like going from London to Canterbury by way of Edinburgh) is a humorous reflection upon his original name, Sétantae, which means ‘one who knows the way’; and the exchanges between Cromm Deróil and Cromm Darail are more characteristic of comedians than of druids.
The Intoxication of the Ulaid
When the sons of Mil Espáne reached Ériu, their wisdom circumvented the Túatha Dé Danand. Ériu was left to the division of Amorgen Glúnmár son of Mil, for he was a king’s poet and a king’s judge; Amorgen divided Ériu into two parts, giving the part under the ground to the Túatha Dé Danand and the other part to the sons of Mil Espáne, his own people.
The Túatha Dé Danand went into the hills – the region of the Síde – then, and they submitted to the Síde under the ground. But they left behind, in each province of Ériu, five of their number to incite the sons of Mil to battle and combat and strife and slaughter. They were particularly careful to leave five men in the province of Ulaid: Brea son of Belgan in Drommanna Breg, Redg Rotbél in Slemna Mage Ítha, Tindell son of Boclachtnae in Slíab Edlicon, Grici in Crúachu Aí and Gulban Glass in Bend Gulbain Guirt maicc Ungairb. These men aroused discontent among the Ulaid over the province’s division into three parts, and they did this when the province was at its best – at the time of Conchubur son of Fachtnae Fáthach. The two who shared the province with Conchubur were his own fosterlings: Cú Chulaind son of Súaltaim and Findtan son of Níall Níam-glonnach at Dún Dá Bend. This is the division that was imposed upon the province: from Cnocc Úachtair Forcha, which is now called Uisnech Mide, to the very centre of Tráig Baile was Cú Chulaind’s share, while Conchubur’s third extended from Tráig Baile to Tráig Tola and Findtan’s from Tráig Tola to Rind Semni and Latharnai.
The province was thus divided into thirds for a year, or until Conchubur held the feis of Samuin at Emuin Machae. One hundred vats of every kind of drink were provided, and Conchubur’s officers said that the excellence of the feast was such that all the chieftains of Ulaid would not be too many to attend. And this is the plan that Conchubur devised: to send Lebarcham to Cú Chulaind at Dún Delga and Findchad Fer Bend Uma son of Fróeglethan to Findtan son of Níall Níamglonnach at Dún Dá Bend.
Lebarcham arrived at Dún Delga and told Cú Chulaind to go and speak with his dear foster-father at Emuin Machae. At that time, Cú Chulaind was giving a great feast for the people of his own territory, and he said that he would not go but would attend to his own people. But Emer Foltchaín, the daughter of Forgall Manach and one of the six best women in Ériu, said that he should not stay but should rather go to speak with his foster-father Conchubur.
Cú Chulaind ordered his horses harnessed, then, and his chariot yoked. ‘The horses are harnessed, and the chariot is yoked,’ said Lóeg. ‘Do not delay, or an evil hour may blot your valour. Step into the chariot when you please.’ Cú Chulaind seized his war gear and leapt into the chariot; he took the straightest roads and the shortest ways to Emuin Machae, and there Senchae son of Ailill came to greet him, saying ‘Always welcome your arrival, O chief of prosperity of the host of Ulaid, salmon of valorous weaponry of the Goídil, dear, many-hosted, crimson-fisted son of Deichtine.’
‘The welcome of a man asking a present that,’ said Cú Chulaind. ‘It is, indeed,’ said Senchae son of Ailill. ‘Name the present,’ said Cú Chulaind. ‘I will provided that I have a proper guarantee,’ answered Senchae. ‘Then name your guarantors, in return for a counter-present for me,’ said Cú Chulaind. ‘The two Conalls and Lóegure,’ said Senchae, ‘that is, Conall Ánglonnach son of Íriel Glúnmár and Conall Cernach son of Amorgen and Lóegure Londbúadach.’ These guarantors sufficed to secure the present, in return for a counter-present for Cú Chulaind.
‘What guarantors do you ask for your counter-present?’ Senchae then asked. ‘Three young, noble, valorous lads,’ said Cú Chulaind. ‘Cormac Cond Longes son of Conchubur, Mess Ded son of Amorgen and Echu Cendgarb son of Celt-chair.’ ‘This is my request, then,’ said Senchae, ‘that you give the third of Ulaid that is in your possession to Conchubur for a year.’ ‘If the province were the better for being in his possession,’ said Cú Chulaind, ‘that would not be difficult, for he is a well-spring of authority; there is no refuting or contradicting him, and he descends from the kings of Ériu and Albu. But if the province is not better, then we will have a skirmish of little boys, and he will be returned to his own third.’
After that, Findtan son of Níall Níamglonnach arrived. The most excellent druid Cathub took charge and greeted him, saying ‘Welcome your arrival, fair, noble youth, chief warrior of the great province of Ulaid. Against you neither reavers nor raiders nor foreign plunderers strive, man who guards the borders of the province.’
‘The welcome of a man asking a present that,’ said Findtan. ‘It is, indeed,’ said Cathub. ‘Name it, that you may have it,’ said Findtan. ‘I will provided that I have a proper guarantee,’ replied Cathub. ‘Then name your guarantors, in return for a counter-present for me,’ said Findtan. ‘Celtchair son of Uthechar, Uma son of Remanfissech from Fedan Chúailnge and Errge Echbél from Brí Errgi,’ said Cathub, and these guarantors sufficed. ‘What guarantors do you ask for your counter-present?’ asked Cathub. ‘The three sons of Uisliu of great deeds,’ said Findtan, ‘the three torches of valour of Europe: Noísiu and Aindle and Arddán.’ These guarantors were ratified by both parties.
After that, they went to An Téte Brecc, the house where Conchubur was. ‘Conchubur is now king of Ulaid,’ Cathub said, ‘for Findtan has yielded his third.’ ‘So has Cú Chulaind,’ said Senchae. ‘In that case,’ said Cú Chulaind, ‘let Conchubur come to drink and make merry with me, for that is my counter-request.’ ‘What guarantees and assurances do I have when that is permitted to be said?’ asked Findtan. Everyone’s guarantors came forth savagely, then, and the fighting was so fierce that nine were wounded and nine bleeding and nine at the point of death between one side and the other. But Senchae son of Ailill rose and shook his peacemaking branch, and the Ulaid fell silent. ‘Why such quarrelling?’ he asked. ‘Conchubur will not be king of Ulaid for a year yet.’ ‘We will do as you wish,’ said Cú Chulaind, ‘provided that you do not intervene at the end of the year.’ ‘That I will not,’ said Senchae. Cú Chulaind held him to that promise. They remained three days and three nights, drinking up Conchubur’s feast until they had finished it; then they returned to their own houses and strongholds and fine dwellings.
Anyone who arrived at the end of the following year would have found Conchubur’s province a well-spring of justice and abundance, without a single dwelling waste, empty or desolate, from Rind Semni and Latharnai to Cnocc Úachtair Forcha to Dub and Drobaís, and without a single son usurping the place of his father and grandfather – everyone served his proper lord. At this time, then, fair words passed between Cú Chulaind and Emer. ‘It seems to me,’ said Emer, ‘that Conchubur is now high king of Ériu.’ ‘No harm if he is,’ replied Cú Chulaind. ‘You must prepare a king’s feast for him, then, for he will be king always,’ Emer said. ‘That will be done,’ said Cú Chulaind.
The feast was prepared, and there were one hundred vats of every kind of drink. At the same time, though, Findtan son of Níall Níamglonnach decided to prepare a feast, with one hundred vats of every kind of drink. Work on both feasts began on the same day, and work on both concluded the same day. Both men harnessed their horses and yoked their chariots the same day, but Cú Chulaind was the first to arrive at Emuin. He was just unyoking his horses when Findtan arrived, so that he entered Emuin before Findtan; thus, he was already inviting Conchubur to his feast when Findtan entered. ‘What guarantees and assurances do I have when that is permitted to be said?’ Findtan asked. ‘We
are here,’ said the sons of Uisliu, and they rose. ‘I myself,’ said Cú Chulaind, ‘am not without guarantees.’
With that, the Ulaid rose savagely to take arms, and, since Senchae did not dare to intervene, they began to fight. Conchubur could do no more than leave the royal house to them, and he was followed out by a son of his whose name was Furbude and whom Cú Chulaind had fostered. Conchubur drew this lad aside and said ‘Son, you have the power to make peace among the Ulaid.’ ‘How?’ asked the lad. ‘By weeping and lamenting before your foster-father, Cú Chu laind,’ Conchubur answered, ‘for never has he been in strife or combat that he did not think of you.’
Furbude returned, then, and he wept and lamented before Cú Chulaind until the latter asked him what was wrong. Furbude replied ‘Just when the province is a well-spring of abundance, you are destroying it for the sake of a single night.’ ‘I have given my word,’ said Cú Chulaind, ‘and it will not be contravened.’ ‘I have sworn my oath,’ said Findtan, ‘and I will not leave until the Ulaid come with me tonight.’ ‘I have an excellent solution for you, if I be permitted to speak,’ said Senchae son of Ailill. ‘The first half of the night with Findtan, the second half with Cú Chulaind – that will alleviate the lad’s sorrow.’ ‘I will permit that,’ said Cú Chulaind. ‘I also will accept it,’ said Findtan.
The Ulaid rose about Conchubur, then, and he sent messengers out to invite the people of the province to Findtan’s feast. Conchubur himself went, in the company of the Cráebrúad, to Dún Dá Bend and the house of Findtan son of Níall Níamglonnach. All the Ulaid assembled at the feast, so that there was not a man from the smallest hamlet who did not attend. Each king came with his queen, each lord with his lady, each musician with his proper mate, each hospitaller with his female companion; but they were attended to as well as if only a small company had arrived. Lovely, well-built, finely appointed sleeping chambers were prepared. Beautiful, lofty balconies were strewn with rushes and fresh rushes, and there were long houses for the hosts, broad, capacious cooking houses, and a broad-entranced, multicoloured hostel, wide and high and handsome, with four comers and four doors, where the chieftains of Ulaid, men and women, might assemble and drink and make merry. Choice portions of food and drink were served them, so that sustenance for one hundred men reached every nine guests. Conchubur ordered the drinking house by deeds and divisions and families, by grades and arts, and by gentle manners, all towards the fair holding of the feast. Servers came to serve, cupbearers to pour, doorkeepers to guard the doors. Musicians came to play and sing and amuse. Poems and tales and encomia were recited, and jewels and gems and treasures were distributed.
Early Irish Myths and Sagas Page 18
