by ChaShiree M.
Chapter 5
KEA
Before I start getting ready for my date, I call my sisters to check in on everyone. I call Phoenix first to make sure she is ok and not freaking out about this out of town trip she and Mikhail are taking. Phoenix is a bit of a worrier and I hope with time, and Mikhail's support and love she will overcome it. I want to see her live and spread her wings. Phoenix says she is fine, sounds a bit under the weather and I say as much. She says she’s been really tired and stressed about finals. Makes sense. I remember finals week as if it was yesterday. It was not fun and totally the reason I gained more than fifteen my freshman year. More like the final amount was thirty.
Once I know everyone is fine and I promise to go to Fae’s for dinner one day soon, I start getting ready for this non-date. I know what Colton thinks it is and I even know what my body thinks it is, but my mind is telling me to run. I intend to listen to the part of me that doesn’t still cry watching Care Bear Movies.
Even knowing this is not a real date it doesn’t stop me from acting like a complete girl and dressing to impress. I look in my closet and grab my favorite baby blue chiffon sweater. I love the sweater. It is a wraparound sweater, so it crisscrosses like a second skin over the boob area making them stand out...not that it’s hard for them to stand out anyway. It wraps over to the side and ends in a bow, which totally makes my size 18 waist look not so much like an 18. Since we are going for burgers, I figure jeans are perfect. I pull out my House of Dereon jeans and slide them on. The moment they are on, I feel powerful. I feel as if I could walk past the skinniest of runway models and make her wish she had eaten that damn donut in her kitchen. Damn. Beyoncé sure knows how to make clothes for a woman.
Because my face is still made up from work and my hair is still perfectly coiffed in a bun, all I have to do is throw on some earrings, my favorite blue suede Christian Siriano peep toes, and I am out the door. To my ‘not surprise’, when I get out the front door of the building, Colton is already standing there leaning against a car with his arms crossed looking every bit of my Jean Claude Van-Damme fantasy come to life.
I have to stop on the first step to swallow, so he can’t see it and will my traitorous vajayjay to calm down and behave herself. The minute she saw him, she started doing pelvic thrusts and drooling. Damn, there is a waterfall in my panties now. What the heck? This man ties me in knots and no matter how much I try to control it, my heart goes fluttering too.
I look at him, and for a second I allow myself to picture us in a real relationship moving toward happily ever after. I swear it seems real. Like it is an actual foreshadowing or something, but I know more than anyone that doesn’t exist. I mentally castigate myself and continue descending the stairs.
Colton meets me at the bottom of the steps, wraps one arm around my ass, pulls me into him, and kisses me in a rather alarmingly sweet kiss. He is then leading me to the car and buckling me in. Why is it every time he buckles me into the car, or opens my door for me, or guides me down a flight of stairs, I want to cry and profess my undying love for him?
“Hey baby. You look absolutely fucking beautiful. But I might need you to put this jacket on and don’t take it off once we reach the restaurant.” He says as he looks at me.
I look at my clothes and am a little confused. I thought we were going for burgers? If he has changed the venue and I need to be fancier, that his fault. I am about to say this to him, but he cuts me off.
“Like hell you are walking into that place with my boobs and shit showing. What the hell were you thinking? Are you trying to get me thrown in jail?” I can’t help but look at him like he has two heads. Who does he think he is? I can damn well wear what I want. Jerk
“Colton, I am going to say this as calm as I can. I will wear what I like and when I like. If I want to go to work with a mini skirt and thong on and nothing else, you can’t stop me. We are not together. You cannot tell me what to do. God. How the……”
Oh fuck. I am stopped mid-rant by his hands up against my jean covered pussy. Though I am covered, his touch sears itself through my skin to my insides, as if I have nothing on. Those damn pelvic thrusts start again, and right as I am thinking ‘I hope he doesn’t feel it’, his arrogance intercedes.
“Oh, really? So, if I cannot tell you what to do and you don’t belong to me, then why is your pussy soaking your jeans and begging for my mouth to show you otherwise? Why is it throughout that whole ridiculous speech you were giving me, your nipples are beaded straight at my mouth like a cruise missile?”
Oh God. Moaning has ensued. I don’t know what to do, except what I am desperately trying to avoid doing and that is to spread my legs wider and beg. Instead, I am met with his mouth to my ear. Taunting me.
“No more fighting baby. If you let me in there, I can erase all of the things you keep telling yourself and replace them with nothing but me. My seed, my life, and my very essence. I’m going to fill you with all of that Kea. Just as soon as you stop running from me. Now breathe. We’re here.”
Crap. How does he do that. I lose all sense of everything when he is around. Especially when he touches me. I take a few deep breaths when he gets out to talk to the valet, and I give myself a pep talk. Seriously, nothing is working. I am keyed up right now. There is only one thing to douse the flame within me, but I will not give in.
He opens my door and I take his hand to walk inside. Did I mention, I love it when he puts his hands on any part of my body. But especially when he puts it on the small of my back and leads me into…. well anywhere.
Once we are seated and have ordered, I pretend to look at something on my shirt. He hasn’t stopped staring at me since he picked me up, and it is unnerving. However, I refuse to look like a scared little girl, so I face him. I am instantly struck with the level of emotion he has allowed himself to show on his face for me. For one second, I think of abandoning my plan, but then I remember...I need safe, predictability, and Colton is anything but either of those.
“So little one. You have something you want to say to me, I gather. Since I would like to enjoy the night, I figure you need to get what you have to say off your chest. I will shoot down all of the obstacles you’re going try to throw up tonight, and then we get on with our enjoyable evening. Sound good?”
“You are an arrogant, overgrown action figure. Yes. I do have something to say to you. And when I am done saying it, there will be nothing else for us to say. The date will be over, and our acquaintance will come to an end. Sound good?” Ha. There take that. Macho man.
My food arrives while I am staring him down. I feel like I have won for about a millisecond, before he smirks at me and says, “Whatever you say babe. Shoot. What's on that beautiful little mind?” Argh. He is so frustrating.
“First, let me say thank you for rescuing me. I sincerely mean that. I know that I would not have made it out of there without you, so I sincerely appreciate what you did for me. I also know that sometimes people can feel more connected and bound to one another, after having experienced those types of situations. With that being said, I get why there is this connection between us. No matter how misguided it may be.” I find myself talking faster than normal to get out before I lose my nerve.
“But the truth is, you don’t really want me. Look at you and then look at me. I am no one's idea of beautiful, and let’s face it, I like to eat. Aside from all of that, I don’t date. For a number of reasons. The first one being that I am a virgin. I know it is not a shock, but most guys expect you to put out after dinner and that is just not me. Of course, I thought I would be married with kids by now. but once my doctor told me I couldn’t have children, I knew that part of my dream was over.”
I stop to take a sip of water, because the further into this explanation I get I begin to feel sick to my stomach. It’s like my body is rejecting the idea of me rejecting him. The more I look at his clenched teeth and the obvious amount of control he is trying to contain as I list the reasons we wouldn’t work, the more I want t
o take it all back. I give him a second to say something or to try and interfere, but like he promised he doesn’t interrupt me. He continues to hear me out. Darn. Something else to make him perfect.
“Anyway, I decided after hearing that from the doctor that I wouldn’t do that to someone. Marry someone and ruin any chance they might have of having children. Plus, look at me. I’m fat and I make no apologies for it. It’s a direct result of the condition I have, which renders me infertile. It’s still what it is, and who the hell would find it worth marrying an overweight chick that can’t have children? When you add on top of that my family problems, I decided I was better off alone. So, you see, it would never work between us anyway. There is no need for both of us wasting our time.” I toss my napkin on the table, grab my purse, and stand before finishing.
“Again, thank you for everything. My brothers and Ren have got it from here, so there is no need for you to hang around anymore. I wish you the best Colton. Goodbye.”
I high-tail my ass out of there before the first tear can fall, because for some strange reason I feel as if I just broke my own heart. Absurd, right? I mean, I was correct. Wasn’t I? It could never work. Men like him must have women throwing themselves at him all the time. Right? Then why does it feel like I just made a mistake? I lean up against the light pole holding my stomach, because suddenly I feel sick.
I go to pull my phone out of my purse when I am thrown against an SUV. I didn’t see it sitting there a second ago, and before I can scream Colton wraps his hand around my neck and moves within inches of my face. The desperation for him to kiss me is too tangible to be hidden, so I know he can tell. Instead of kissing me, he holds my neck and says, “Don’t you ever walk away from us again. You don’t have a fucking choice.”
As he says this, he is grinding the bulge in his pants with my needy core and lord help me I moan his name. “Colton.” He lifts his eyebrows at me as if to mock the whole speech I just laid out in front of him, and the truth is I don’t blame him. With one motion, he has managed to obliterate the last remaining chain in my armor. Now, here I am on the street begging him to finish.
He kisses me with the ease of a man that knows he just won, but it doesn’t make it any less hot or erotic. His tongue demands entrance immediately, and I don’t bother trying to abate it. I kiss him back like he is the last man on earth for me he is. He removes his one hand from my neck, and threads it through my hair causing goosebumps to move over my body. Shivering in his arms, I lift up one of my legs in an effort to feel some pressure where I need it most. Unfortunately, he has self-control. He stops and after taking a few more nibbles of my swollen and abused lips, he sets me back from him, reaches behind me, and opens a door. Turning away as my face gets hot, as I realize one of his security detail just witnessed my fall from grace. Kissing my forehead one last time, he tells me.
“I have to go check something out real quick. So, you get your ass in Drake's car, and I will see you later little one. OK?”
Nodding my head like a simpleton, I get in the car and say nothing. The whole drive my brain finally starts coming back to life, and I curse myself for being so weak and giving in. I am extremely relieved to pull up in front of my building. Chastising myself the whole time and being lost in thought, I almost miss the fact that my door is wide open and appears to be busted off the hinge. Looking around the floor, I notice no other doors appears tampered with or broken. Without looking inside, because who knows he might still be in there, I run back downstairs hoping that Drake has not left yet. When I get back down the stairs, I give a deep sigh of relief that he is still there. I tap on the window, and he opens. It
“Miss Kea. Is everything ok?”
“No. Someone broke into my apartment. I don’t want to go up there. Can you take me to Colton?” My body won’t stop shaking. As my teeth chatter, I have a brief thought that perhaps this was the night my father was coming back for me. My mind goes to my siblings, wondering if they are safe. I know I need to call them, but my hands can’t hold my phone right now, let alone dial. I can hear Drake in the front seat, I assume talking to Colton. Colton. Why does he now feel like my only safe space? I feel better knowing he will handle it. Now the problem is, how do I get out of staying with him? I opened a Pandora’s Box by going to him with this, and now he's got me right where he wants me.
Do I want to get out of it? I know I need to figure this out, but I don’t have the mental capacity to deal with this right now, so I close my eyes and await my arrival to his house. Now, I'm thinking I don’t know where he lives. What if he lives in a brothel? Or a really bad neighborhood? I mean seriously, he could live in a 9x9 box and here I come invading his space.
My mind is racing because I am running to a man I know nothing about and... whoa! Looking at the houses in the neighborhood. We are in a very posh part of the city. I have never seen mansions and houses this big and lavish. Well, aside from Fae’s. Who the hell is this guy? Before I can contemplate on that, the door to the car is opened and I am pulled into Colton’s massive chest. He holds me like his life depends on it.
“Are you ok little one?” I see the anger in his eyes, but I also see fear, softness, and possession. Why do all of those things make me happy and feel safe?
“Yes.” I say no more than a whisper.
“Ok. Go on inside and call your brothers and sisters, so they know where you are. I have to talk to Drake. I will be right in.” He pulls me in for another hug, kisses my head, and sends me on my way. The truth is, I wanted to snuggle into him and continue feeling the contentedness that came over me the minute he embraced me.
Reluctantly, I move myself into his house. I must be on autopilot, because I don’t bother looking around. I feel dead on the inside. There is no way I can explain it. It’s like everything in my life has finally caught up with me mentally, and now my brain cannot handle it. Much like the place in my mind I would go when I was younger. After making the rounds and calling everyone to assure them I am ok, I look for the nearest sofa and sit there.
What more can I do? There is nothing left in me. Maybe I should give myself back to my dad. There seems to be no end to this torture, and honestly, how much longer can we live like this. As much as my brothers love us and do what they can to protect us, they can only do so much. What else is there?
Right when I ask that, his face pops into my mind and the last thing I remember is saying his name.
Colton.
Chapter 6
COLTON
Fuck.
I feel like a fucking live wire. Thinking about her being home when that bastard broke into her place has my mind in a bloody haze. She could have been hurt, raped, killed, or anything.
Arrrrh.
Son of a bitch! I roar outside, as I punch a hole in the side window of Drake’s truck. I don't register the pain or blood. The only thing I can comprehend is that my woman is in danger. The messed up part is, I don’t know who did it. It could be from her father or it could be from the dead motherfucker who threatened her from work. Who by the way I still don’t know, because she won’t tell me.
Fucking exasperating female. I smirk a bit thinking about how she thought she was going to drop all that bullshit on me, and then walk away like we are nothing. The good thing is I finally know why she keeps running. Now I have to make her see that no matter how fucked up the shit is running through her head, or her body, we are a done deal. What the fuck do I look like?
Finally, a little calmer, but not much, I turn around to see Drake leaning against the pillar of my house laughing and shaking his head at me.
“What the fuck are you laughing at asshole?”
“Never thought I would see the day that Colton Moore loses his shit over a woman. For as long as I have known you, you have always been a calm and cooler head type of dude. What the hell happened to you, pussy boy?”
Now he wants me to beat his ass. “Who the hell are you calling a pussy boy? You know what, never mind. I need to know what you know.” I sa
y descending on him. He holds his hands up in mock surrender, but he is smart enough to know I am serious.
“I don’t know brother. I was with you, remember? Gage said he didn’t see anyone come in or out once he got there, so it had to have happened as soon as you two pulled away from her building. Her neighbor around the corner of the hallway said she heard something that sounded like breaking, but she comes from an era of hear no evil, see no evil, so she thought to mind her own business. Nice neighbors.” He says sarcastically. I concur with that thought as well.
The thought of her being home when it happened and knowing, no one would have called 911 for her pisses me off more than anything. Fuck. I need to find the silver lining and quick before I turn into the trained killer I am. The only great thing is now she is here. I take a moment to let it sink in. Here. In the home we will live in, fuck in, make love in, and have babies in.
I stop and think about what she said about not being able to have babies. It must have been hard for her to go through hearing all of that by herself. I know my girl enough to know she hasn’t told her family. She is suffering alone. Now I have a chance to make her see that we have other options to making the family we want. She needs to trust me and let me take care of her. Speaking of, I need to get inside to her.
“Drake, keep me posted. Tell Gage to continue digging. She is not going back there, ever, but I still need to know who the hell just signed their death warrant.”
With that last word, I walk into the house. I look around trying to figure out where she might be. When I go into the living room, I hear my name fall from her mouth in the sweetest most melodic of sounds. It is almost like she is sending out a silent prayer. Camouflaged as an S.O.S., before she falls over and passes out.
Shit. The panic I feel when she falls over onto the couch, I cannot begin to describe. For a moment my heart stops. I take a deep breath not wanting to breathe if she is not. When I reach her, I exhale a deep breath. One that I have never held for that long in my life feeling her heart still beating. I realize, she only passed out from exhaustion.
