Jodi nodded, wiping her nose. “Are you in love with Miss Fox?”
“Ah…” He gave an awkward laugh. “I don’t know. It’s difficult.”
“Why?”
He sat back. Grace would love all this frank talk, he thought. She loved it when everyone said what they were thinking. “I was very young when I had you,” he continued. “Only twenty. And Grace is now twenty-nine. She likes you so much, and she’s very worried about what you think of her, and she’s terrified you’re going to resent her for being with me.”
Jodi traced a pattern with her finger on the duvet. “I know.”
“You see, I already have a family. She very much cares for you, but she’s going to want to get married one day and have children of her own. And she would hate to think you would feel like she’s trying to push you out.”
She looked up at him. Her eyes were like clear, green pools. “Do you want more kids, Dad?”
He frowned. “Honestly? I don’t know. I do know, however, that it is essential to me that you realise you’re the most important thing in my life. You are my first child, and you always will be. Nobody can take that away from you. I…I would like to continue to see Grace. But if you sit here now and tell me you really want me to stop seeing her, I will.”
Jodi bit her lip and threw her arms around him. “I don’t,” she whispered. “I really don’t. I want you to be happy.”
He hugged her tightly, surprised at the wave of joy that flooded through him at her words. “Thank you, honey. I want you to be happy too.”
She pulled back, wiping her face. “I think a baby brother or sister would be cool. I could help look after it, couldn’t I? And take it for walks in the pushchair and stuff.”
“I suppose.” He touched her face. “But before we get carried away, I need to talk to you some more about what’s been happening to you. What you can do, Jodi—talk to the dead—it’s not going to go away just because you’re trying to ignore it. It doesn’t matter whether we want it or not. We’ve got to learn to deal with it, and that I can help you with.”
She nodded. He moved to one side and sat opposite her with his legs crossed. “Sit like this,” he instructed.
She copied his pose, holding out her hands for him to take them.
“The first thing you need to learn is how to protect yourself psychically,” he said. “Nineteen times out of twenty, you’ll be able to shut out any spirits you don’t want to talk to. Maybe not permanently, but certainly if, at that particular moment, you want some peace and quiet. To do that, you need to imagine yourself standing inside a glowing ball of white light. And the edge of that ball is a hard shell. Like a Star Trek force field, okay? And when you want to protect yourself, think, shields up!”
“Shields up,” she said and smiled.
He continued to talk to her, getting her to close her eyes, feeling the tension draining out of her as he willed his strength and energy into her slight form, filling her with healing white light. She was going to be okay. Together they would work through this, and he’d help her deal with her abilities. He felt a surge of pleasure and thankfulness. He was no longer alone. Jodi would finally understand what he went through, and why he’d made the choices he had.
He was on the road to mending his relationship with one of the women in his life.
Now what the hell was he going to do about the other?
Chapter Twenty
Grace got out of the car and hesitated for a moment, looking across the sweeping drive toward Ash’s house. What was she doing here? This went against all her better instincts. When she’d walked away from him the night before, she’d been determined she’d never come back here again. It was over. The whole thing was a Huge Mistake, and from now on, she’d decided she was going to be a lifelong spinster, and never date another man as long as she lived.
But that morning, he’d called and told her what had happened with Jodi, giving her a very brief, matter-of-fact rundown, and had explained that Jodi wanted to apologise to her, so could she please come around the house at seven that evening? She’d been tempted to say no, but he’d told her it would be good for Jodi to apologise and in the end, she’d caved. She wanted to help Jodi, especially if she’d been having the kind of problems Ash seemed to think she’d been having. No wonder the poor girl had been driven insane.
But that wasn’t the only reason she wanted to go around.
The thought of never seeing Ash again was tearing her apart. “Why is it that you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone?” she’d wailed to Mia and Freya the evening before, when she’d returned in floods of tears, brokenhearted.
“At least Joni Mitchell sympathises with you,” Freya had said wryly.
“Sweetheart, all’s not lost,” Mia had promised.
But she couldn’t believe that. “I can’t go back,” Grace said forlornly. “As good as the sex was, I can’t go back. If I do, I’ll never be able to leave him.”
They’d been unable to console her, and in the end, she went to her room and lay on the bed until the stars began to glitter in the darkening sky. The truth was, she was tired of other people running her life. It seemed like she was always the one who reacted to other people’s actions, rather than the one who acted. With her previous boyfriends, it had been they who moved forward with their lives, and she’d only been able to stand in their wake and watch them sail away and leave her behind, apart from the psychopath, and he didn’t count. Her dad had died, and she’d been powerless to do anything but learn to deal with the life he’d left her with. Her brothers had moved away, and all she could do was wish them luck and cope with her loneliness. And even with her mother, Grace spent every day trying to placate her and deal with each disapproving statement she came up with.
Something had lit in her heart then, a spark of independence, a glimmer of freedom. She’d rolled over in the bed, picked up the phone and dialled her mother’s number. They’d spoken for fifteen minutes—well, Isabella had spoken, and Grace had nodded and “oohed” and “aahed” at the appropriate times. When she could finally get a word in edgewise, she’d said, “Mum? I want to tell you something. I write romance stories. Racy romance stories. Very racy romance stories. I’ve had nearly two dozen published, and I’m going to have a whole lot more. I haven’t told you before, because I knew you’d disapprove, but frankly Mum, I don’t care anymore.”
Isabella had gone silent for a whole thirty seconds. Finally, she said, “Well, I suppose it could be worse. You could be centre spread in Playboy.”
They’d spoken for another ten minutes, during which Isabella had grudgingly admitted that Grace’s achievement was admirable—if you didn’t think too hard about the subject matter—and she should be very proud of herself—even though maybe a “sweet” romance or two wouldn’t kill her. Knowing it was the best reaction she could have hoped for, Grace had hung up with a lighter heart, feeling that at last she was on the first step to getting her life back on track.
And this was the second step, she thought as she walked up to Ash’s front door. She was going to go in, listen to what Jodi had to say, accept her apology and get the hell out of there as quickly as her legs would carry her.
If that’s the case, squeaked her conscience, why are you wearing that white lacy bra and panties you know he likes so much? She rang the bell. “Shut up,” she grumbled. “I happen to like sexy underwear.”
It was only as the door opened immediately that she realised Ash had been waiting for her, and he’d heard what she’d said.
“Me too.” He stepped back with a smile and gestured for her to come in.
“I was talking to my conscience.”
“And may I say I happen to agree with it?”
“No,” she said, walking past him. “I’ll keep my jacket on, thanks. I won’t be staying.”
“That’s a shame.” He followed her into the living room. “Jodi will be very disappointed.”
She stopped as she saw the dining table. It was c
overed in a red tablecloth and two places had been set, with wine glasses and cutlery all laid out neatly. Red candles stood in a holder in the centre, and the entire tablecloth had been scattered with tiny silver hearts.
She stared as Jodi came out of the kitchen. The girl was wearing a white apron, and she was covered in flour.
“Hi,” said Jodi shyly.
“Hi.” Grace looked over at the table. “Sorry, have I interrupted something?”
“No, no.” Jodi gestured to it. “I’m cooking you both dinner.”
Grace looked across at Ash. He was studying her mutely but his eyes were warm.
“I…” She went to say she wasn’t going to stay, but Jodi’s face was so eager she suddenly found she didn’t have the heart to say it. “Thank you, love. That would be very nice.” She slipped off her jacket and hung it over the chair.
Jodi beamed. She cast a quick glance at her dad and walked up to Grace, standing before her. “Um, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for the things I said last night.”
“That’s okay,” said Grace. “Don’t worry about it.”
“I do worry. I really didn’t mean them. I was upset. I really like you, Miss Fox. I’m so sorry.”
Grace smiled. “Well, for a start, you must stop calling me Miss Fox when we’re not at school. Call me Grace, love, please.”
“Okay, Grace.” Jodi beamed again and threw her arms around her. Grace hugged her awkwardly before the girl pulled back and walked away quickly to the kitchen.
Grace turned to look at Ash but he was looking down, and she followed his gaze to see her black vest covered in flour.
He walked over to her and began to dust it off. Grace watched him, raising an eyebrow as he took slightly longer than was necessary to make sure her breasts were flour free.
“I think you’ve got it,” she said wryly.
He grinned and stepped back. Her heart beat faster, but she ignored it and let him lead her to the table, sitting as he pulled out a chair.
“This is all rather fancy,” she said, flicking out a napkin and placing it on her lap.
He shrugged, taking the seat opposite her. “She wanted to do it. She takes Life Tech at school and she needs to cook a meal for an assignment. And anyway, I was glad of the excuse to get you to stay.”
She opened her mouth to reply, but at that moment, Jodi came in carrying their entree of stuffed mushrooms in a brandy and cream sauce, and for the next hour or so they didn’t have a chance to talk alone. Jodi served a pumpkin and cream cheese flan for a main course, and a scrumptious chocolate mousse for dessert. As they ate, she sat beside them and asked them questions about the food as she filled in her assignment sheet. Grace happily obliged but began to wonder if that was the only reason they’d asked her to stay.
However, after they’d finished and helped carry the plates out to the kitchen, Jodi stacked the dishwasher and cleared up as Ash made tea, and then the young girl took off her apron and gave them a bright smile. “Well, I’m off!”
“Off?” Grace’s heart missed a beat.
“I’m going to Liv’s tonight—we’re taking the boys to the cinema.” She gave them both a look. “I expect you to have made up by the time I get back tomorrow.” She winked at them. “And if you want to make a baby or two while I’m gone, feel free.”
Baby! Grace’s cheeks burned as Jodi ran out the room. She could hear the girl laughing as she exited the house, slamming the door behind her.
“What…?” She stared at Ash, who had taken up his classic pose of frustration, with hands on hips and his head dipped in defeat toward the floor.
He looked up and smiled apologetically at her. “That girl has a big mouth.”
Grace was speechless. She could only stare as Ash took her hand and led her into the dining room, then over to the large sliding glass doors. He opened them and brought her outside, onto the deck.
It was a warm night, and moreporks hooted in the bush, the cicadas already singing their song, even though it wasn’t quite summer. The Milky Way lay splashed across the darkness, and the Crux shimmered above them, the cluster known as the Jewel Box glittering with coloured stars.
He stood behind her and wrapped his arms around her. Grace wondered whether he could feel her heart pounding.
He kissed her ear. “I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“What for?” Her voice was little more than a squeak.
“For not saying I loved you back when you told me you loved me.”
“Oh.” She bit her lip. Tears stung her eyes.
He kissed her neck, making her shiver. “I’m crazy about you, Miss Fox. Did you know that?”
“No.”
“Liar.” He kissed her neck again. “You know you drive me wild. You and your sexy underwear.” He pulled the V of her black top forward and looked down her front. “White. Nice.”
“Do you mind?” She slapped his hand away, glowering.
“No.” He laughed and squeezed her tighter. “Grace, it was only when you walked out on me that I realised what I hadn’t let myself think before. I love you, and I think I loved you from the first moment I saw you. You bring light into my life. You ground me, and yet you also support me, although I don’t think you realise how much. You have a beautiful, light spirit, and you never fail to lift mine. I’d be heartbroken to think I had to let you go.” He turned her around in his arms to face him.
Her heart was thumping wildly. “Ash…”
He bent his head and kissed her. Long and lingering, until she felt slightly dizzy from the thunder of her blood through her veins.
“Um…”
He kissed her again. This time he cupped her head with his hand, keeping his other arm tight around her waist, kissing her with a hunger that gave her an ache between her thighs and made her breath catch in her throat.
“Stop!” she said eventually, trying to push him away. “You’re melting my brain, and I need to think.”
“What is there to think about?” He stroked her cheek. “I love you, Miss Fox. We’ve only known each other a couple of months, but I know we’re written in the stars.” He glanced up for a moment. When he looked back at her, he seemed hesitant.
“What is it?”
“There’s something I have to tell you. It’s about what your father said to me that night at the Centre. What I didn’t want to tell you in front of all those people.”
Her mouth went dry. “What is it? What did he say?”
“He said, ‘Tell her, he’s the one.’”
Grace stared at him. It had been a favourite tease of Bill Fox’s every time she remarked about a pop star or a movie star she’d fallen in love with. “Is he the one, Gracie?” he used to say.
Ash cleared his throat. “I didn’t want to say anything at the time. I felt it was unfair to both of us to be told something like that. I didn’t want someone to tell me my future. I want to make my own decisions.” He kissed her cheek. “But I’ve made my decision. There’s no rush, Grace, but I want you to know, one day I’m going to marry you, and I want you to have our children. We have a ready-made babysitter already.” He smiled. “What do you think?”
Grace pulled away from him and moved to the edge of the decking to look over the garden. The moon was a day off full and hung heavy in the darkening sky, its reflection like a foil disk in the lake. In the bush, a kiwi cried mournfully, making her shiver.
Tell her, he’s the one. Ash’s words rang inside her head. Was it really true that her father was watching over her? Had he seen her with Ash? Did he really think Ash was the right man for her? There was no way she could prove her father had spoken to the tall, blond-haired Viking. She had to take it all on faith.
But wasn’t that what love was? A leap of faith? There were no assurances in love, no guarantees. A person could only try to choose a partner with whom they felt a special connection, and promise to love them and do their utmost to make it work. A person couldn’t promise a partner they’d stay with them forever—not and be absolute
ly sure of the outcome. Love didn’t work like that. You had to take a chance.
“Trust me,” said Ash from behind her.
Grace turned to face him. “I do,” she said simply. “I trust you more than anything in the world. I don’t know how you do what you do, but I believe you are doing it. At least, I’m willing to believe that you believe it. I don’t know if you’ve actually spoken to my father, but in the end, it doesn’t matter. I don’t need his prediction to know you’re the man for me, Ash. I love you. I want you, and I’d be honoured to become part of your family. Jodi’s a lovely girl, and I’d be glad to be around to help her through these difficult teenage years, if she wants me.”
She came up to him and touched his cheek. “My very own Viking.”
He met her gaze. Suddenly, he picked her up in his arms, making her squeal. “Vikings were known for plundering,” he said, carrying her back into the house. He shut the door behind them and walked through the living room and down the hall. “It’s a good verb, to plunder. I fancy doing a little plundering of my own. A little pillaging.”
“Ransacking?” she suggested, heart thumping.
“Ravaging,” he agreed, taking her into his bedroom. He threw her onto the bed, where she bounced with a squeal. “Fancy being ravaged, Miss Fox?”
“Absolutely, Mr. Rutherford,” she said breathlessly. “Ravage away.”
“Yes, ma’am.” And he kicked the door shut and began to unbutton his shirt.
About the Author
Serenity lives in the sub-tropical Northland of New Zealand with her wonderful husband and gorgeous teenage son. She writes fun, flirty and sexy contemporary romances for the modern woman who likes intelligent, spirited heroines and hunky but approachable heroes. She’s won several romance writing competitions and is a member of the Romance Writers of New Zealand. She would much rather immerse herself in reading or writing romance than do the dusting and ironing, which is why it’s not a great idea to pop round if you have any allergies. You can check out her website at www.serenitywoodsromance.com
An Uncommon Sense: Sensual Healing, Book 1 Page 19
