by Laura Stone
Reaching up to cup Oliver’s face, Seth brought their bodies back together as he stretched back on the bed. They shifted awkwardly, unwilling to let go of one another long enough to move somewhere more comfortable, until they both were better situated. Pushing up on his hands, Oliver kicked his shoes off. When he came back to Seth, his weight now balanced on his elbows, Seth stroked up Oliver’s chest to behind his neck and whispered, “I want to feel you.”
Oliver closed his eyes, briefly. It was too much—too much want, too much need. When he opened them, all he could see was the soft brown-blue-green of Seth’s eyes, heavy-lidded with his own want and need. Sliding his hands under Seth, his hips canted to the side, he sighed at the feeling of being so close; and as he held Seth’s warm, firm body tightly, he knew he never wanted to let go. They continued kissing feverishly, Seth’s burying his hands in Oliver’s hair, his full lips kissing a trail along Oliver’s jaw to get to that one spot that always made Oliver’s toes curl.
It was almost sensory overload. Their bodies were so familiar to one another; yet enough time had passed, enough false attempts at love with other men, that Oliver couldn’t help but notice tiny differences, such as the way Seth swirled his tongue against Oliver’s neck before sucking gently. It made him ache for the time missed, jealous of the other person who had tried to love Seth in his place and desperate to please, to show Seth how much he wanted this.
Oliver rolled to his side, a little proud of the whine that came from Seth at the loss of his warm body weight. He began slowly to unbutton Seth’s shirt, eyes on his to make sure it was okay. Seth’s gaze was scorching; he arched his back and ran his hand through Oliver’s hair over and over. The last button freed, Oliver ran the flat of his hand under one side of the shirt and slowly pushed it open. He’d been given a gift, this moment with Seth. He’d be damned if he was going to rush it.
Seth had more hair on his belly and pecs now: light brown, faintly dusting his pale skin, thickening under his navel and racing below his waistline. Oliver bent at the waist and placed a tender kiss over Seth’s heart. “How did you get more beautiful?” he murmured, kissing his way up Seth’s neck, his jaw and the corner of his mouth, following the blush blooming on Seth’s face.
“Is this okay?” Oliver asked, drawing his fingertips up and down the trail of hair near Seth’s waistband.
“Oh… yes, very,” he breathed, already pushing up Oliver’s sweater. Seth rose to his elbows, forcing Oliver back on his knees. “Will you take it off?” he asked, tugging on the soft wool.
Oliver pulled it off as quickly and smoothly as possible, even though his hands were beginning to shake. He went still, breathing heavily through his nose as Seth’s hands caressed his firm stomach, higher, wanting to treasure every breath, every slide of a finger over his skin. He was almost unable to believe who was holding him, touching him.
He squeezed his eyes shut as the hot prickle of moisture built up. He didn’t want any more tears, not when everything he’d dreamed of was finally happening. He could feel Seth go still, briefly, and then his strong, smooth hands at Oliver’s waist, tugging him back down.
“Hey. Hey.”
Oliver opened his eyes, as he lay back down, to find Seth looking concerned. He kissed the worry line between Seth’s brows and dropped soft kisses along his cheekbones, down his neck and over his shoulder.
“I’m sorry, you’re just…” Oliver mouthed along the rounded corner of Seth’s broad shoulders. “You’re a little overwhelming.”
Seth held Oliver’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. “Same here. Let’s just… enjoy that we’re here, okay?”
Oliver looked down at him, at his messy hair, hazel eyes gone dark, shirt open to reveal his lean torso. “That’s all I want right now, to enjoy this.” He kissed down Seth’s neck, breathing in his cologne and the natural smell of his skin. Memories of their last time together came flooding back: Seth on his bed, sleepy and spent, clothes thrown across the room in their haste to be together.
Oliver laid his forehead on Seth’s sternum to catch his breath. It wasn’t the same. This was now; he needed to make it count, to pour all of his regret and hope into this moment with Seth, to show him how much he still loved him. How much more he could love him, if given the chance.
His fingertips trailed down Seth’s belly to his waistband. He looked up to find Seth with his head tipped back, both hands buried in his own hair.
“Seth?”
“Please,” he groaned.
Oliver unbuttoned the soft fabric and slowly pulled the zipper down. He slid his hand in and felt the maddening sensation of Seth’s erection trapped under another layer of clothing, hot and full to the touch. Seth moaned, and Oliver let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.
Pushing with his heels, Seth raised his hips off the bed to allow Oliver to pull his trousers off. Oliver carefully matched the pant legs, folded them in half and laid them on the chair at the foot of the bed, remembering how fastidious Seth had been with his hard-won clothes. Turning back, he caught Seth smiling softly at him.
“I told you I didn’t forget anything about you,” Oliver said, his voice thick with desire. Still on his knees, he unbuttoned his own pants, pushing them and his briefs down and laying back down beside Seth as he kicked them the rest of the way off.
Seth hooked his thumbs under the waistband of his own briefs and pulled them down just enough to expose himself. “I want your mouth on me,” he said, his voice barely a whisper, low and rough.
Oliver crawled up his body, kissing him wetly, exhaling sharply into Seth’s mouth when he felt their erections brush against each other. Seth pushed him up a bit, laughing softly. “Let me rephrase that. Would you suck me?”
Oliver dropped his head against Seth’s neck and laughed noiselessly, his chest shaking with the effort. He felt full of adrenaline. It buzzed just under his skin from the desire coursing through him, the need for Seth to want him in return and his utter joy at being with Seth at all.
“My pleasure,” he mumbled against the tender skin behind Seth’s ear, smiling as he felt shivers course through Seth at the sensation. This was a bolder man than he was used to. It wasn’t a problem; he just realized that it would take some time for them to find a new rhythm with each other. He would happily devote any and all time toward the task, he thought, as he slid Seth’s briefs all the way down his lightly furred legs.
He had another moment of sensory memory as his mouth sank over Seth’s cock—Seth’s natural, clean scent, the weight on his tongue, the way Seth’s hands immediately went for Oliver’s thick hair, to pet and touch. Seth spread his legs, giving Oliver more room to work his mouth and stroke Seth’s inner thighs. He was more vocal than he used to be; now he groaned loudly when Oliver did something he particularly liked.
It was heady; so much seemed like the past, the times when they sneaked off to love each other, taste each other. And still there were continual reminders that this wasn’t the same, that they weren’t quite the same. Oliver was more relaxed and confident in his ability to give Seth pleasure than he’d been as a teenager; Seth seemed to be more willing to open himself up to the physical sensations of lovemaking.
After a while—when Oliver’s jaw began to ache slightly—he looked up to find Seth propped up on his elbows, breathing heavily and watching Oliver work his mouth and hand over Seth’s dick. Seth moistened his lower lip with his tongue and when Oliver stopped, he murmured, “I forgot how good you were at that.”
Part of him was pleased, and a deeper, darker part of him hated that Seth didn’t remember. It’s just a figure of speech, he told himself, allowing Seth to tug him back up for more kissing. His head dropped, all negative thoughts blown away when Seth grabbed his hips and ground their bodies together. Seth dragged his instep along the outside of Oliver’s leg, and Oliver bit Seth’s shoulder.
“Oliver, I want you,” Seth gasped in his ear.
“Yes, but—” Oliver pulled back and nuzzled un
der Seth’s jaw, his hairline, breathing him in. He held Seth’s cheek in one hand, looking down and losing any remaining composure at the sight of Seth straining, trying to make their lips meet. He met Seth’s gaze, saying intently, “I want you. Do you still… would you?”
Seth surged up and crushed their lips together, his tongue desperately seeking Oliver’s. He exhaled into Oliver’s mouth, “Yes. For you—yes.”
Oliver’s limbs felt loose and warm, even though his heart was racing a mile a minute as Seth rolled them over, pinning Oliver to the bed with his hands at Oliver’s biceps. Seth drew the edge of his nose along the contours of Oliver’s cheek and his hair tickled Oliver’s skin as he kissed lower and lower, his hands soothing Oliver’s overheated skin.
As Seth rubbed his cheek softly over the dark, coarse hairs on Oliver’s abdomen, Oliver began to shake. His stomach muscles trembled at Seth’s warm breath, at the nearness of him, the feel of his soft hair. Memories of love and trust crashed over Oliver; he wanted so badly to have that back, for this to go on forever. Seth must have sensed the change; he brought his weight down on the bed and wrapped his arms around Oliver’s slight waist, pressing kisses just under his navel, holding him steady.
“We don’t have to,” Seth murmured against his skin.
Oliver ran his hand over Seth’s hair, over and over, the softness so pleasant to the touch. “I need to. I need you,” he said, his voice almost a whine. “So much.”
Seth didn’t look up, just held him tighter for a moment before saying, “Me, too.” He pushed to his hands and knees and hovered over Oliver, rocking forward to press their lips together, leaving him feeling more centered and less likely to break and fly apart into irreparable pieces.
“But I don’t want to hurt you, and—” Seth sat back on his heels, his hand making small circles on Oliver’s hip as he began to blush, looking sheepish and adorable. “I didn’t exactly bring anything with me, Oliver.”
Oliver linked their hands together and smiled all the way from his heart at the sight of their fingers, entwined again. He gave Seth’s hand a small tug. “I think I saw something here. Hang on.”
He let Seth shift aside so he could get to his feet and felt momentarily self-conscious about being completely naked and walking around his hotel room.
Thank God I closed the blinds.
At the minibar was a “Courtesy Pack”: an extra toothbrush, sewing kit, pair of socks and an “Intimacy Kit.” Blushing and completely unable to control his grin, he grabbed the small packet and carried it over to the bed with a triumphant “Aha!” and an eyebrow-waggle.
Seth laughed and moved to turn down the duvet and sheets. Now that they weren’t wrapped in each other’s bodies, Oliver noticed it was cold. A quick glance down at himself to confirm that it wasn’t too cold and then he slid into the silky sheets, legs gliding along Seth’s, his warm hand seeking out Seth’s waist to trace over the slight definition of his abdominal muscles and the strong curve of his chest, deeper now that he was a man.
Seth found his lips and kissed him sweetly, leaving Oliver breathless. He felt cherished, welcomed, wanted.
They broke apart after several heady minutes; Seth asked, “Are you sure?”
Running his hand down Seth’s torso, Oliver said, “Completely.”
Seth twisted away to reach the packet, opening it to reveal a small bottle of lube and two condoms. “This is a good hotel,” he muttered, getting a deep, breathy chuckle from Oliver. Seth put the supplies within reach, shifted to Oliver’s side and squeezed some of the lubricant onto his fingers. He watched Oliver’s face as he stroked softly between Oliver’s legs and behind his balls, pressing just enough to make Oliver’s eyes flutter closed—this was a steady pressure for Oliver to get used to.
“Oliver, look at me. Don’t close your eyes.”
He felt overwhelmed by emotion as Seth looked at him, into him, touching his face and his hair as he stroked slowly inside him, twisting his hand just so to make Oliver gasp with pleasure, just as he’d learned how to do years ago.
When Seth added a second finger, his mouth dropped open, mirroring Oliver’s open-mouthed gasps of pleasure. Oliver tried reaching up to kiss, needing Seth everywhere, but Seth pulled back. His dark eyes were exquisite. “No. I need to see you.”
“Fuck… Seth.” Oliver barely had the breath to cry out his name. He felt pressure, low on his spine, building in heat and electricity as Seth continued his stroking with both hands. He seemed to hold everything that Oliver was between them.
Oliver closed his eyes and turned his cheek into Seth’s hand, kissing his palm until Seth stopped languidly thrusting his fingers into him and waited for Oliver to follow the rules.
I need to see you. Oh my God…
Oliver groaned and spread his legs wider, feeling his muscles tensing only to have Seth stroke him to a point of relaxation again. Seth shushed him softly as he pulled his hand away and reached for the lubricant again. This time he kissed Oliver as he slid a third finger in, his lips ghosting over Oliver’s, whispering, “Want you so, so much,” swallowing Oliver’s throaty, broken cries as he was filled, stretched. Seth pressed the pads of his fingers deep inside while stroking the sensitive skin of Oliver’s perineum with his thumb until Oliver was positively shaking under him.
“Please tell me you’re ready,” Seth moaned, sucking a spot high on Oliver’s neck. Oliver didn’t say anything—he didn’t have the breath to form actual words to express his need—just turned his head, groped at the packet and pulled out a condom, trying to open it while ignoring the tiny tremors in his hands. Seth sat back on his heels, taking a moment to wipe his hand on a tissue, his surprised hiss turning into a moan as Oliver rolled the condom onto him.
Holding himself with one hand, Seth stroked Oliver’s arm with the other and bent over to place a tender kiss just over his heart, almost breaking Oliver with the sweetness of it. He pressed inside, and Oliver moaned loudly at the stretching heat that filled him. They slowly built a rhythm. Oliver felt as if his skin was too tight, as if there wasn’t enough of something. His hands found Seth’s narrow waist and slid down until his thumbs pressed into the rounded bones of Seth’s hips, pulling him closer, wanting more—more pressure, more heat, more him.
“Seth… I need you,” he groaned. His lust-addled brain couldn’t think of how to say that he needed Seth to be more forceful; he needed to feel claimed, taken. He knew that there was an overpowering sense of must building up in him; he ground his hips back against Seth roughly, trying to make his body say what he couldn’t.
Seth stilled his movement and leaned forward to kiss Oliver slowly, as if he had all the time in the world. His hands soothed Oliver’s heated skin as his mouth and tongue worked hot and wet on Oliver’s. He broke their kiss and lightly traced his nose along Oliver’s, shushing him quietly.
“Let me,” he whispered, slowly pushing his hips forward again, and the slow, tight, wet drag of him inside Oliver caused him to arch up off the bed. Seth sat back, captured Oliver’s hands with his own and held him down against the mattress, all while drawing out his pleasure with measured, almost languorous strokes, his hips moving slowly and steadily forward and back like pistons. He paused every few thrusts to kiss Oliver so deeply Oliver thought he would suffocate and then began slowly stroking deep inside him again.
“Oh my God…” Oliver moaned. Seth pulled away from his mouth after another searing kiss only to snap his hips forward again, slowly dragging them back and repeating this over and over. Oliver grabbed the sheets in his fists as Seth worked his body. After a moment Seth went still, closed his eyes and held himself tightly at the base of his cock. Oliver pawed at him, trying to pull their bodies back together as close as possible. He wanted Seth to keep moving inside him.
“Can’t…” Seth moaned, his chin dropping down. “I’m going to come too quickly.”
Oliver arched his back again, unable to stem his growing need to move, to belong fully to this moment and what it meant t
o him: being with Seth in every sense of the word. “I don’t want this to end,” he sighed, running his hand down Seth’s arm and hoping he understood what that meant. “I don’t want this to end.”
Seth hung his head with a whimper, a sound that pierced Oliver’s heart and sent a shiver of fear through him, though he couldn’t say why. He pushed up on his elbows, canting his neck forward until Seth took the hint and began kissing him, greedily, and Oliver murmured sweet words of need into his mouth: more, want you, so good, please. He felt wholly surrounded by Seth, Seth’s smell, his skin, his warmth filling Oliver, wrapping around him, giving him a sense of being a part of something again, something that had been amazing and special and them.
Seth’s hand wrapped loosely around Oliver’s cock and he began to drive his hips forward again, each thrust pushing Oliver through his own fist, until they were both panting. Oliver could feel himself about to let go as Seth snapped his hips more sharply, grinding deep inside and stroking Oliver just where he needed it most with every thrust.
“Oliver, look at me. Look—I want to see you come,” Seth panted, and that triggered it: Oliver felt his orgasm building so quickly, his instinct was to close his eyes and give over to the physical sensation; but Seth had asked—no, told—him to look, and when he saw the longing in Seth’s expression he cried out, reaching a hand up to hold Seth’s cheek as he climaxed, pulsing over and over until he was spent, gasping with exhaustion. Seth surged forward once, twice, grinding and pressing deeply in a figure eight, holding Oliver’s shoulders to stay buried inside as his own orgasm overtook him.
As Seth’s breathing began to slow down, Oliver kissed Seth’s hand, his palm, his knuckles and each finger. Carefully, Seth pulled out, murmuring, “Sorry,” as Oliver hissed at the deep, aching and inevitable physical sense of loss. Seth reached for a tissue and carefully wiped off Oliver’s belly and between his legs, kissing Oliver’s knee, his hand. He made quick work of cleaning himself up, however, and collapsed at Oliver’s side.
