Average Jane

by Kristin Coley

  I sat back with a sigh, shaking my head as I crammed the last beignet in my mouth. I sipped the café au lait he’d ordered but didn’t care for the taste and drank the milk instead.

  “I’ve learned so many new things today, brother. Did you know there is a place called Wal-Mart and you can buy clothes there, groceries, and get your oil changed? Jane told me all about it.” He listened and then told me, “Michael doesn’t believe you either.”

  I groaned, throwing up my arm in exasperation.

  “She seems quite frustrated with our lack of knowledge. We’ll have to remedy this. I’ll have Jane escort me to one of these Wal-Marts as part of our summer activities and report back to you.” He paused and then gave a wicked smile. “We bought all of her clothes at a secondhand store. And yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like.” Ian held the phone from his ear as Michael’s voice blasted through it startling me when I heard it across the table.

  “He’s taking it much better than I would have thought.” Ian said with a pleasant nod as he put the phone back to his ear.

  “She insisted, brother, what was I to do? Tell her she couldn’t buy her clothes where she wanted? They’re quite lovely and we found a perfect dress for this evening’s dinner.” Ian frowned as Michael continued. “I am not in the habit of handling anyone, and most certainly not Jane. She wished to shop at the thrift store where she was more comfortable.” He stressed the word comfortable, confusing me, but suddenly relaxed back into his chair, the momentary tension gone as he smiled. “Quite right. Jane was hungry so we stopped, but we still need to purchase undergarments and such. I haven’t made reservations yet. I wanted to get Jane’s opinion.” He paused. “No, where is Buster?” Another pause. “Then it’ll be another day. And the other matter?” He took a deep breath. “So be it then. Patience shall see our reward.”

  He hung up the phone and I stared at him curiously, the last part of his conversation confusing me. He gave me a lazy smile and gestured to the table. “Would you like another order?”

  I shook my head, my eyebrow raised expectantly. It sounded as if Michael had been upset I’d gotten my way and it concerned me. Ian seemed to sense my worry and reached across the table, enfolding my hand in his.

  “Michael only wants the best for you, and quite often that means doing things his way. He finds it difficult to understand your stubborn need to do things your way, such as shopping at a thrift store when money is no object. He respects your wishes, but you confound him. I admit you confound me as well, but I remain still more flexible than Michael. I find you a breath of fresh air in a world gone very stale.” He squeezed my hand gently, sending a current of warmth through me. “I’m glad you’re here and I do believe you will be good for us.”

  I nodded, accepting his explanation. I’d noticed Michael was uptight, and hadn’t been kidding when I called him arrogant. If I was to stay the entire summer then I was going to have to loosen him up a bit.

  “He also demanded all the clothes we purchased be sent out for cleaning before you wore them.” He wiggled his pinky finger at my skirt. “We won’t mention this outfit.” I laughed at his sanitary request, but nodded in agreement. If it would make Michael happy, I could do that little thing he asked, or demanded actually. No need to tell him I’d already planned to do it. Mom had engrained cleanliness was next to godliness long before Michael Wright showed up in my life.

  “Who’s Buster?” I asked as we left Café du Monde, our hands still entwined. I considered tugging it lose, but the sensation of my hand in his was too nice.

  “He’s our driver, bodyguard, man about town. Whatever we need, Buster manages to procure.” I eyed him speculatively but he didn’t expound on what he ‘procured’ for them. “Michael wanted me to introduce you so you’d be familiar with him. If there’s an occasion when one of us can’t be with you, Buster would escort you.” I opened my mouth to protest the idea that I needed an escort, and Ian quickly went on. “He’s a master of self-defense. Michael and I practice with him often. I think you’d enjoy the opportunity as well.”

  I eyed him narrowly, recognizing a subject change when I heard one, but excitement coursed through me at the prospect of learning more self-defense and having a chance to practice it. I had three sparring partners available to me now.

  “Are you willing to practice with me as well?” I asked, allowing the subject change.

  “Will you wear those yoga pants when you practice?” He asked, giving me an exaggerated leer. I laughed as I used our joined hands to push him back.

  “Maybe.” I answered coyly, before quickly admitting, “Probably.” There were super comfortable after all, and yoga pants, workout pants, same thing.

  “Then definitely.” He replied with a smirk, swinging our hands casually. After we’d gone a block, he stopped in front of a store. I glimpsed inside and promptly turned my head feeling my cheeks flush.

  “Oh,” I managed awkwardly at the sight of the lingerie displayed inside.

  “A promise is a promise, love.” He turned my face toward him, tilting his head to peer into my eyes. He decided to take pity on me with a soft smile. “I will go across the street there and wait for you.” He pointed to a little sports bar where I could see TVs blaring multiple sports channels. “You get what you need, and I trust you will purchase everything you need. No nonsense about making due, love. Remember your wash goes out with ours.” If it was possible my cheeks flamed even redder at the mention of our combined laundry. It was ridiculous that I was so embarrassed, but it was Ian. I doubted I’d be this embarrassed discussing lingerie with Michael. He’d be so businesslike about it, I wouldn’t have a chance to even think about what I was purchasing. I also had no doubt he’d escort me inside to sit and wait.

  A black credit card appeared in front of me.

  “No arguments. Buy what you need, hell whatever you want.” My quick glare had him apologizing. “Forgive my language, love. But I am serious. Buy what you want, what you love, and don’t worry about it. Your things were taken from you through no fault of your own and we only wish to see you regain what you lost.” His expression was so serious and intent I found myself nodding as I accepted the card. He turned toward the door, but before he walked off he leaned down and with the faintest whisper against my cheek added, “The pink, definitely the pink one.”

  He was striding across the street by the time I managed to move, but when I looked into the store I immediately knew which one he was talking about. I gripped the card and marched inside determinedly.

  It took me an hour to decide on everything even though I’d intended to be quick. When she rang it all up I blanched at the total, but remembering what Ian said I handed the card over, the red imprint of it etched into my skin where I’d clutched it.

  Two rather small bags later I walked out, incredulous at how much it had cost to fill bags no bigger than my purse. Ian must have been keeping watch because he met me on the sidewalk outside the bar. I leaned up and sniffed him to his amusement.

  “Do I smell good?” He asked, taking the bags from my hand.

  “You do,” I answered, the lack of alcohol on his breath surprising me.

  “It’s barely noon, love. I’m not an alcoholic. And one beer would not have made me drunk.” He raised his hands to stall my next comment. “Not that I had a drink at all. I ate some chili cheese fries with a soda.”

  “Oh.” I answered dejected.

  “What is it?” He asked solicitously, taking my elbow as we walked across the street.

  “Where’s my chili fries?”

  He blinked as he met my eyes, unable to answer. “Nothing I say is going to come out right, so I’ll just not answer.”

  He tucked me into the car and glanced over at me, “Where to now, love?”

  I laughed, amused at the realization that I had my own chauffeur.

  “Back to the hotel, James! If Michael wants everything cleaned before I wear it, we’ll need to get to it. At least if I want something to wear tonight.
”

  “James?” He questioned as we drove.

  “Driving Miss Daisy. Iconic film.” I glanced at him. “You’ve never seen it have you?”

  “Can’t say as I have.”

  “It’s old, but one of my mom’s favorites’ so I’ve seen it a few times. This old lady had a chauffeur named James.”

  “Ah, and I’m your chauffeur, but you’re anything but old, Jane.”

  “Maybe not compared to you.” I joked, not having any idea how old Ian was. I didn’t think he was too much older than me. Michael definitely was, by attitude if nothing else.

  “And how old do you think I am?” He asked in mock outrage. I shrugged and said, “Early twenties?”

  He gave an easy laugh. “Spot on. Twenty-two and Michael is twenty-six if you’re curious. And you are eighteen, correct? Or do I need to hire a chaperon?”

  I giggled at the idea of hiring a chaperon for the babysitter.

  “I’m almost nineteen actually. Since we mainly homeschooled I started high school a year later than most.”

  “Really? So you have a birthday coming up?”

  “Yep, in August.”

  “Michael will be pleased. He does love a birthday bash.”

  “Michael? Seriously?”

  He laughed at my surprise. “Yes, Michael is many things, but he does traditional with gusto. Birthdays are a prime example.” He proceeded to regal me with stories of over the top birthday parties that went back to when they were children. “We’ve never missed a birthday. We make it a point to always celebrate them together.”

  “I like that tradition.” I answered, brushing my fingers against his forearm. He glanced down at my fingers and I quickly removed them, flushing at my own forwardness. He reached over and threaded his fingers though mine before returning his attention to the road.

  We rode in an easy silence. Ian’s concentration remained on the heavy traffic as we inched back to the hotel. He didn’t release my fingers and I had no desire to remove my hand from his.

  “Are you happy with your clothes purchases?” He asked as he braked to let someone in.

  “I am.” I grinned happily. “Now, just don’t throw me out of the car and peel off with them still in the trunk.” I laughed, knowing he never would, but felt his fingers tighten around mine. A peek over at him revealed a tense jaw, but it eased as he seemed to feel my gaze. He managed a tight smile for my benefit, but apparently didn’t find my joke as amusing as I did. “I shouldn’t have…”

  “No,” he protested as he squeezed my hand. “It’s fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, it stuns me how well you handle everything. I can’t seem to manage it nearly as well as you and it didn’t even happen to me.” He broke off with a disgusted shake of his head. “I just can’t fathom how a man could do such a thing, especially to one such as yourself.” Before I could reply, he continued. “No matter, he’ll pay for his sins.”

  We pulled in front of the hotel at that moment and the valet opened my door, preventing me from asking what he meant. A flurry of activity and Ian was loaded down with bags, shaking his head when a bellhop offered to take them. We went back to the suite where he proceeded to dump all of our purchases on the bed.

  “Any chance you’ll model your most recent purchases for me?” He asked with an uplifted brow and a wicked smile, the tiny pink bags holding my new lingerie dangling from his fingertips. I snatched them away with an emphatic “no” to his amusement.

  “Do you have a preference on dinner? I need to make a reservation. We have Italian, French, Creole, American, really anything you like.” He asked, thumbing through his phone as he rattled off options. “We haven’t been here long, but I will say the food is nothing if not spectacular. They pride themselves on it.”

  “Sounds like my kind of place. I really don’t care where we eat. Pick Michael’s favorite for tonight. I’ll save the pizza and hot dogs for the weekend.” I told him as I pulled items from bags. “Do I really need to have everything cleaned?” I asked with a sigh, looking at the mound of clothes.

  “Yes, Michael is a stickler. You should probably change and have those cleaned as well.” He said, indicating my new skirt. I nodded and shut the door in his face. I pulled it open just as quickly to his surprise. “Yes?”

  “Who cleans it? Is there a laundromat?”

  “I’m not sure what a laundromat is, but I’ll have someone from the hotel come get the clothes. They’ll have them cleaned and brought back.”

  I nodded, muttering, “Of course,” as I shut the door again.

  Chapter Five

  A few mornings later, I wandered out of my room, and paused mid yawn when I discovered a giant man standing by the table. He was laughing with Ian so I assumed he was a friend. A happy thought since he had to be well over six feet tall and easily two hundred pounds of solid muscle. He would fit right in with Vin Diesel and the Rock, I thought as he crossed his arms, straining the already tight shirt he wore.

  “Love, you’re awake. Come meet Buster.” Ian caroled as I padded over wearing his pajamas. All of the clothes we’d bought and I neglected to buy a pair of pajamas of my own. The lingerie shop had sold a line of nighties, but there was absolutely no way I’d parade around in anything that skimpy around these guys. My momma might disagree, but she didn’t raise a fool.

  “What a bonny lass.” I felt my eyes widen as a Scottish burr came out of the enormous black man in front of me. It was disconcerting to say the least, even though nothing should come as a surprise to me when it came to the Wright brothers. His gentle handshake enveloped my hand as he said, “Pleased to meet you finally. Michael has spoken of little else since you joined them.”

  If it were possible, I felt my eyes widen further. It was hard to believe Michael discussed me with this giant or with anyone honestly. We’d eaten dinner together each night, but Michael was always too busy to join us when we explored the city during the day.

  Ian willingly went along as I embraced being a tourist of the city, following me to the Audubon Zoo and aquarium, and riding the streetcar. We planned to tour the Ursuline Convent today, but Michael had refused citing business. I speculated he was frightened I’d make him eat a hot dog with his bare hands, but once Ian stopped laughing he assured me Michael was a workaholic and not avoiding me intentionally. Even so, if was odd to think he spoke of me with the man in front of me.

  “Is your name really Buster?” The question spilled out before I could catch myself. I’d been wondering about it since Ian had told me about him. A deep laugh erupted from him and Ian smiled as he settled himself on the sofa.

  “No, it’s actually James McTavish, but I’ve been known as Buster so long I’m not sure I’d answer to anything else.” He finally said with a grin.

  “How did you get a nickname like that?” I curled up on the sofa by Ian, setting a scone on my plate along with clotted cream and lemon curd. He’d introduced me to English tea one afternoon and I’d fallen in love. Scones had magically begun appearing as a breakfast item after that to my delight.

  “He’s well known for busting heads.” Ian murmured in my ear. A sideways glance at Buster and I had no doubt he spoke the truth.

  “It’s a good enough explanation for my name as any. I’ve spent my whole life busting things and somewhere along the way, Buster is what I came to be known as.” He sat down gingerly on the chair across from us. I held my breath, but the chair held his weight.

  “I hear you want to practice self-defense moves?” He questioned to my surprise. He recognized my look and chuckled. “I wasn’t kidding about Michael nattering on about you. You impressed him when you took down your attacker.” He gestured to Ian then, who returned an unassuming smile as he said, “And him, hasn’t shut up about you since I walked in the door.”

  “Yes, and I was telling him the two of you could practice this afternoon. Michael requested my assistance with some business and it would have left you all alone, but then Buster arrived and solved our problem.” Ian s
aid with satisfaction, trading a quick glance with Buster.

  “I can stay by myself.” I replied, frowning.

  “You could, but you seem to be a magnet for trouble and this is two birds with one stone. You learn more self-defense which will only serve to help you when you inevitably find trouble once again. And I will feel much better about leaving you.” There was no mistaking the satisfaction in his voice, but before I could argue Buster intervened.

  “It will be my pleasure to show you some moves. A couple this one knows nothing about.” He winked at me and I grinned as Ian said, “Wait a minute.”

  “In that case, I’d love to spend the afternoon with you, Buster.” Ian frowned at my capitulation, but what he’d said was true. I did want to learn how to better defend myself and if I also learned a move or two I could use when sparring with Ian, then all the better.

  “Are we still going this morning?” I asked Ian, trying to hide my disappointment at the thought we wouldn’t be spending the day together.

  “Of course, love. I wouldn’t miss it for the world, but I daresay I should warn you there is a high probability of lightening striking the church when I enter.” I popped the last of the scone in my mouth and told him, “I’m willing to risk it.” I nodded at Buster and looked down at Ian as I stood. “I’m going to get dressed. I don’t want to miss the morning tour. They say the sunlight coming through the stained-glass windows is gorgeous.” He waved a dismissive hand toward me. “Go then, I’ll be ready when you are.”

  “Nice to meet you, Buster!” I called over my shoulder to which he replied, “Likewise.”

  After the tour ended, and I was finished oohing and ahhing over the stained-glass windows, Ian escorted me to Jackson Square.

  “Michael is going to meet us along with Buster. You’ll go with Buster to the hotel and training while I attend to business with Michael.”

  “What kind of business?” I asked suspiciously. This was the first I’d seen of Ian conducting any type of business with Michael. So far, it’d seemed like Ian was there only so Michael could keep an eye on him, and now I was there to do that for him, so why Ian needed to go with Michael was questionable.