“What is it?” He murmured quietly against my ear.
“Have you seen Ian?” He narrowed his eyes as he thought and said, “Not lately.” He studied me more carefully then. “You’re worried.” It was a statement not a question, but I nodded anyway. I was and there was no explanation for it. Ian had done nothing to concern me. I’d seen him earlier, but something felt off and I wasn’t one to ignore my intuition. “Do you see Buster?”
I twisted around as his arm rested against me and he responded to a question from one of the gentleman. It took some searching but I finally spotted Buster and my anxiety spiked as I realized it looked like he was also searching for someone.
I tapped Michael’s sleeve and he turned me around.
“Gentlemen, forgive me, you’ll have to excuse us. My partner is famished from all of the dancing this evening.” I gave them a demure smile, hiding my emotions almost as well as one of the brothers. Michael paused to let me lead and I guided him in the direction I’d last seen Buster. He scanned the room as we walked, his height giving him a greater advantage over my heels. A quick tug had us heading at an angle to intercept Buster.
“Have you seen…?”
We both spoke at the same moment and answered our own questions. Buster shook his head and I could almost hear Michael’s teeth grind together. It was obvious he was upset with Ian’s disappearance but he was careful not to react openly.
“When was the last time you saw him?”
“It’s probably been an hour.” Buster admitted with a frown. “I’d say it’s safe to say he’s not here.”
“Something must have happened. Ian wouldn’t have just left without telling us.”
“You don’t know Ian very well then.”
“No, Michael. She’s right. The last I saw him he was across the room from me. He looked more upset than I’ve ever seen him. He looked ready to punch someone. Instead he stormed off. The behavior was odd for him so I tried to reach him. It took me forever to get across the room and then I lost him. I thought he probably headed to the bar, but they hadn’t seen him. I’ve been checking every nook and cranny in this place since.”
“And it didn’t occur to you to inform me?” There was no mistaking the acid in his voice, and Buster’s nod was repentant.
“I thought I’d find him before that needed to happen.”
“If he’s upset as you say, then you know how he’ll react. If he’s not at the bar here, then he’s at a bar somewhere else.” Michael’s voice was tired, resigned even.
“He promised me he wouldn’t.” I interjected, believing he would keep his word. Michael’s look was compassionate even as Buster refused to meet my eyes.
“Jane, I have no doubt he would want to live up to your ideals, but the reality is this is what he does. It is an engrained reaction to him being upset. He will drown his sorrows in women and drink. It’s what he does.” He draped his arm over my shoulders giving me a quick hug. His next words were almost indecipherable. “I only wish I knew what drove him to it.” I heard the pain in his voice, the utter helplessness he felt at not being able to get to the heart of why Ian was so guarded. It hardened my determination to find out why. If Ian had broken his promise to me than he owed me an explanation, and I fully intended to collect.
“Then let’s go.” I replied stoutly. “Buster, you have to know where he’d go. You found him last time. If he’s licking his wounds then he’ll go somewhere familiar.”
“I don’t think…”
“I don’t care what you think.” I responded tartly, my words stopping Michael in his tracks and shocking them both. I glared at them, my own disappointment in Ian pushing me to say things I wouldn’t normally say. “You’ve both given up on him. Yes, you bail him out of trouble and keep him close to keep an eye on him, but you’ve stopped trying to figure out why. Why he does this. It’s not normal. People don’t spend years running from pain for no good reason. You say he changed when I came around and maybe he did or maybe he finally found someone who wouldn’t judge him so harshly for how he dealt with the pain he feels. I don’t know what it is that drives him, but you should. You call yourself his brother, his friend, but neither of you see him very clearly.” Michael’s expression was closed but I caught the glimmer of emotion in his eyes. It was the only indication he’d heard what I said or that it’d had any impact whatsoever.
It wasn’t completely fair of me. I knew that. I hadn’t had to deal with Ian’s shenanigans for the past several years, but their acceptance of it infuriated me. I was already tired of Ian’s actions, but I knew there was something triggering it and it was obviously up to me to discover the catalyst. “I’m going to find him and when I do…I’m going to get my answers.”
I spun around and headed for the door.
Before I’d reached the staircase, Buster had caught my arm.
“We’ll go out the back. Don’t want to face the paparazzi again, do we now?” He muttered, pulling me toward a side door. I shook my head, blinking back tears as I glanced around and realized Michael hadn’t come.
“He has to stay. It’s his job.” He shook my arm lightly. “He heard you. We both did. And you have a point. But don’t judge him for not coming now. Okay?” I nodded, slightly ashamed of myself for expecting him to leave an important business function. “We’ll find Ian and maybe you’re what he needs to see when he’s like this. Maybe if Ian sees himself through your eyes, he’ll finally change.”
“I didn’t mean to…”
“Aye, you did. And it was deserved. I won’t fault you for that. But Michael…he don’t like being told when he’s wrong. It’ll take him some time to absorb it.” My stricken expression made him chuckle. “Don’t fash yourself, lassie. He needed to hear it, as did I. Now let’s go find your bonnie bastard and set him straight.”
My smile was a bit wet, but I was grateful he was accompanying me so I didn’t comment on his use of bastard.
Buster took me through a maze of backrooms before we made it outside to a group of drivers chatting with each other. He nodded to one, who slipped his little cap on and headed for our limo.
“I’ll have him drop us off in the French Quarter. That’s where I found Ian last time.” He could see my next question coming so he replied, “I’ll send him back for Michael. If Ian is in the French Quarter, we should be able to walk back to the hotel.”
The drive was quick but felt long as I sat on the edge of the seat. Logically, I knew Ian was fine. He may be hurting and acting out, but this wasn’t the first time and he hadn’t done something so foolish as to get himself killed before now so I expected he wouldn’t this time. It didn’t ease my concern though. Ian’s pain had become my own somewhere along the way and I felt the urgent need to fix whatever was wrong.
“He’ll be fine, lass.”
“I know, but it doesn’t change how I feel.” I glanced over at him to see he’d loosened his tie and removed his jacket. I gave him a curious look.
“In case I need to fight. Jacket limits my range of motion and I hate bloody ties. French Quarter at night can have a raucous crowd so best you stay near me, alright?”
I nodded and Buster opened the door as the driver slid to a stop. He spoke quietly to him for a second as I took in the carnival in front of me. People were everywhere, wearing all manner of clothing, making even our formal attire seem completely normal. Music streamed from bars and clubs and the sheer noise from the laughter and conversations was deafening. It should have been obnoxious, but it wasn’t. The vibrancy and life that streamed down the street was infectious. I could see why Ian would have run here. It was a good place to forget your sorrows.
“Right now. Stay by me. Do not let me out of your sight, better yet…” He took my hand. “Don’t let go of me. I don’t want to lose you because I’d have both brothers coming after me and they might succeed working together.” I blinked at him, but tightened my grip on his hand as passerby’s jostled me. We started walking and Buster pulled me across the street without even checkin
g some bars. I glanced inside one and felt my eyes round.
“Is that?”
“Yes.” He answered without glancing over. He saw my stunned expression and turned my head away. “It’s best not to look inside, lass. No telling what you might see.”
“Yes.” I answered faintly, the image of gyrating men on the bar burned in my retinas, but it was the other men frantically waving their arms and hollering at them that had taken me off guard. I tucked myself a little closer to Buster and let him guide me. I didn’t take the same views on sexuality as my parents. My own opinions were a little more open I liked to think, but it was still a shock to see certain things. My upbringing hadn’t prepared me for Bourbon Street.
“Here, lass.” Buster eased to a stop, trying to see into the windows of a place. The glass was dirty and the people on the street kept getting in the way. I tugged on his hand to go inside and he frowned. “I don’t like bringing you into a place like this.”
“We have to find him. So let’s find him.” I kept tugging and he let me draw him inside. We made quick work of the perimeter with no sign of Ian.
“I don’t think he’s here.” Buster muttered, pulling me back outside.
“How do you know? He could have been in the restroom. We barely looked and it was dark and crowded.”
“Trust me, lass. If Ian is inside you’ll know immediately. He isn’t shy about making a scene.” Buster replied, moving down the sidewalk with a determined stride. His reply didn’t reassure me in the least. In fact it made me question if Ian would even listen to me at all.
I stopped abruptly, my arm jerking since it was still attached to Buster’s hand.
“Jane? You alright?” Buster scanned the area, looking to see if anyone had touched me or I’d seen Ian.
“No.” I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders. “Buster, listen. When we find him….you have to follow my lead. Okay? I know he’s gonna be a jerk. And I don’t know if he’ll listen to me. So you have to do what I say even though you’re not going to want to.”
“What are you babbling on about, lass?” Buster rolled his shoulders. “I’ll pick the arse up and carry him out if need be.”
“While I would enjoy witnessing that….don’t.” He gave me a confused look. “I know. I’m not making a lot of sense, but I need Ian to choose. He has to make the choice to follow me, to leave what he’s doing behind and come with me. I want him to explain, to tell me why he does this. He never will if you force him to come. He’ll shut down and ignore me.”
“Eh, you’re probably right about that. But what are you thinking, lass? I can’t let you be at risk not even for bloody Ian.”
“I know, but I need you to pretend you will. That you’ll do what I say over what he says. Because I don’t think Ian will let me be in danger any more than you would. But he has to decide that for himself. If my safety is more important than his drunkenness.”
“Aye. I’ll agree to it, but I don’t like being in the midst of a battle of wits between you and the bloody wanker.” He agreed reluctantly, his dark skin gleaming under the street light. He was getting more than a few admiring glances. From both genders, I noted with a smile. He didn’t seem to notice though. He charged on, easily breaking a path though the throngs of people in the street. Three bars later and my feet were dragging. Heels were not the best thing for trekking through numerous bars after having danced for hours. However, there was no way I was taking them off considering the things I’d seen as we went up and down the street. In fact there was an excellent chance I would be throwing the shoes in the trash as soon as we made it back to the hotel.
“He wouldn’t have.” Buster gazed in to the distance and thumped his hand against his leg. “Of course he would have.” I watched him mutter to himself, grateful to be still for a minute as I shifted from foot to foot. “Come on, lass. I know where the blighter is.”
We walked a block, stopping in front of a darkened door.
“Just promise me this, lass.” I gave him a questioning look. “Wait to kill him till we get back to the hotel. Less witnesses.”
I nodded, still puzzled as to why he would want that promise. We stepped inside and Buster slipped money into a man’s hand. He proceeded to nod and open another door. It took me a second to comprehend what I was seeing.
“Looking for a blonde, British accent, money to burn but obnoxious as hell.” Buster inquired of the bouncer in front of us. And he was a bouncer. I knew that without asking because he had bulging arms and a thick chest.
“VIP Room. Straight back.” The guy told us. Buster nodded, tipping him too. He saw my confused frown and admitted, “Money talks.” He shrugged. “Sometimes it’s the fastest way to get what I want.”
“Afraid you couldn’t beat it out of him?” I asked him with a grin.
“Ha, he’s a damn poser. Bloke’s never done a leg day in his life. Like pushing over cotton candy.” I choked back a laugh, averting my gaze as we passed some scantily clad women. I’d figured out where we were and understood why Buster thought I’d kill Ian. I admitted to some curiosity though as I glanced at the stages. One woman was hanging upside down from a pole with only one leg holding her up. It was rather impressive.
“How do they do that?” I whispered to Buster, surprising him.
“A lot of work.” He whispered back with a respectful nod. “Pole dancing isn’t easy. My mum would tell you that straight off.”
I wanted to ask how his mum knew that, but we were at the door to the VIP room. Two guys blocked it, staring at us suspiciously. Buster flashed something toward them and they immediately stepped aside.
“What was that? Is there some magic VIP strip club card I need to know about?”
“Well, I don’t think you need to know about it, but essentially yes.” He winked at me before opening the door to a den of iniquity.
“What the…?” The lighting was dim except were spotlights highlighted dancers writhing on individual podiums. Sound was muffled, the room we’d just come from completely cut off once the door shut behind us. Men lounged in cushioned seats, some with women dancing on them. I frowned, thinking if Ian had a women draped over him there might be a chance of me killing him. I had to remind myself that we weren’t a couple, but it felt like a lie even as I tried to convince myself of it. There was something between us.
A connection.
As unlikely as it would seem.
The playboy and the average Jane.
Taking a quick glance around it was easy to believe any of these women would suit him better than me, but I refused to be intimidated by the comparison. I might be average, but I cared about Ian more than any of these women ever would.
It didn’t take long to find him.
Buster had been correct. Ian drew a crowd.
The raucous laughter guided us and I witnessed Ian drink a shot off of a stripper’s stomach.
“Oh, he’s going to regret that.” Buster murmured at seeing my face.
“Hello, Ian.”
He stilled at my voice, the only movement his eyes as they flickered up to meet mine. I tried to keep my face neutral, but had a feeling I failed. I caught a glimpse of guilt and a hint of despair before he attempted to bluff his way out of the situation. Those emotions were the only thing that saved him.
“Love!” He caroled the word before saying, “Buster.” The admonishment didn’t go unnoticed, but Buster just crossed his arms as he shook his head.
“Your cock-up.”
Ian’s face tightened at the rebuke, but he leaned back and patted the cheek of a woman sitting next to him. “Be a doll, and get my friends a drink.” She stood up, her movements sinuous, but Ian didn’t seem to notice. His eyes never left my face as he attempted to gauge my emotions.
“I don’t need a drink.” I managed to say, controlling my temper. I’d heard him call her doll, and I wondered how many women he called love. I’d assumed it was an endearment he reserved for me, but now I wasn’t so sure.
Michael
had been right every time it seemed when it came to Ian’s behavior. As much as I’d wished to believe otherwise I wondered if I really could compete with this lifestyle of his. Because the truth was I didn’t want to compete. This wasn’t my idea of a good time and I didn’t want to spend my life wondering if he’d rather be here than with me. “I want an explanation.”
“A bit of fun.” He answered with a careless shrug.
“A broken promise,” was my reply. The words struck him just as I intended and I heard Buster suck in a breath next to me.
“Love.” He half stood, his balance precarious as he wobbled.
“Don’t call me that. Not if you call every woman you come across the same.” I hissed, blinking back bitter tears. I hated the tears, they made me appear weak when I was really just angrier than I’d ever been in my life. “I wanted to make sure you weren’t dead. Because I assured Michael you wouldn’t break your promise to me. It appears I was wrong and he was right.”
“No, lo…Jane.” His words held a note of desperation as he stood completely, managing to say upright to my surprise.
“You should have come to me. Talked to me. But no. You immediately went out to find a distraction from your pain. How long are you going to do this? And how long do you think I’ll stick around to be treated like this?”
I stepped back from them, most of the room’s attention now focused on us. Buster stepped with me, but I waved him back.
“You stay with Ian. I can manage to find my own way back to the hotel.”
“Absolutely not!” His words were slurred and he swayed as he said it, raising his hand in the air. “He goes with you. It’s too dangerous by yourself.” I laughed, the sound harsh, causing him to blink at me.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do. Look at yourself.” I waved my hand. “You can barely stand upright. You can’t stop me.”
“Buster can.” He boasted, nodding as if he’d solved it.
“Buster won’t.” I replied icily. “Buster will stay with you and make sure you arrive back to the hotel safely once you’ve sated your demons. For however long that lasts.”
Average Jane Page 16
