“Nonsense. This place is the best.”
He holds my hand loosely and I follow behind as he walks to the hostess stand.
“Joel Moreno,” he tells the girl behind the podium. His hold tightens on my hand. “I have a standing Thursday reservation.”
Her voice quivers. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Moreno but we gave your table away.” She shifts uncomfortably. “A gentleman came in and said you wouldn’t be needing it tonight and that you’d given him your okay.”
“I see. We’ll wait at the bar for a table,” he says, not waiting for the hostess to respond, he walks past the podium toward the bar.
The girl looks nervous or maybe embarrassed as Joel tugs me past her. I give her an apologetic smile, hoping to ease some of her nerves. I’m also still reeling in the information I’ve just gained. Joel has a standing reservation every Thursday?
It shouldn’t upset me. I know that this is what he does – takes girls out, lots of girls, but I guess I’d hoped I was different in some way. Or that at least he’d take me somewhere else. But of course he wouldn’t – it’s his play for a reason.
Instead of stopping at the bar, he pulls me outside and wraps an arm around my waist. I hear him chuckle softly as we walk toward a table in the back corner.
“Coach Daniels, I thought that was you.”
I wouldn’t have recognized the Valley basketball head coach apart from the team, but as we approach the table, Coach Daniels stands, and he and Joel face off awkwardly.
“Joel, I’m surprised to see you here.”
Joel smirks. “Coach this is Katrina, we were just stopping in for dinner, spotted you, and I wanted to say hi.” Joel’s gaze turns to the woman sitting at the table and mine follows. She’s young, overly done up, and looks more excited about my date than hers. Her eyes dart between all of us trying to grasp the situation.
“Ah, Mindy this is one of my players Joel.”
“Nice to meet you.”
I offer her a smile which she doesn’t return. Instead, she stands. “I need to go to the ladies’ room. Please excuse me.” Her gaze rakes over Joel one more time as she tosses her hair over her shoulder and walks away.
Coach Daniel’s face softens as we all watch her walk away from the table. When she disappears from sight, he looks to Joel, a guilty expression on his face. “Thank you for that. We’re almost done if you’d like your table.”
Joel shakes his head. “Nonsense. Enjoy. We’ll wait for another table.”
Coach nods and his gaze slides to me and he smiles before looking back to Joel. “Finally needed that standing reservation, I see.”
Joel pulls me to him, and I lean against his hard side all too happily. “See ya tomorrow morning, Coach.”
“What was that about?” I ask as he leads me to the bar. There’s only one seat and he ushers me into it and then slips one leg between mine as he crowds between the high top bar chairs.
“What was what about?” he asks, not quite looking me in the eye.
“That.” I point toward where we just left his coach and date. “Does the team have a table or something?”
“Uhh, no.” He looks embarrassed and I can’t wait to hear this. Ought to be good. “My—”
“Joel Dax Moreno,” a woman’s voice interrupts and I turn to find a stunning brunette approach from behind the bar with a smirk that can only be described as the Joel Moreno effect. “You nearly had my hostess in tears.”
She leans over the bar and they meet cheek to cheek and exchange a peck. When she pulls back her eyes meet mine and Joel follows her eyes to me. Yeah, buddy, I’m still here. I’m annoyed and annoyed that I’m annoyed. He hasn’t done anything, and I already knew he’d slept his way through Valley so it’s not like I can hold that against him.
“Maria, this is Katrina.”
Maria extends a hand. “Pleasure.”
I plaster on a smile and shake her hand. “Nice to meet you.”
She grabs a glass and begins filling it like she’s done it a million times. She’s comfortable behind the bar, but she’s not dressed for the job in a blouse and pencil skirt. “It’s been months. What have you been up to?”
“Practice, school,” he answers with a lift and fall of one shoulder. Interesting. I hadn’t noticed it before, but Joel doesn’t seem to like to talk about himself. As Maria and he catch up, I think back to all our conversations and realize this is true. For as cocky as he is, he’s perfectly content to keep the conversation off himself.
Maria slides the glass in front of Joel. He doesn’t question it which stabs me in the heart a little more. She knows his drink of choice.
“What can I get you, Katrina?”
I flush as they both look to me. A drink. Shit. I don’t have a drink of choice. I barely drink at all. I’m quiet too long and finally Joel speaks. “Let her try the Reisling.” He looks to me for confirmation.
I nod, and Maria grabs a wine bottle and glass and fills it before sliding it to me. I sip hesitantly, hell-bent on hating anything in this moment, but the cold and sweet wine dances on my tongue.
The sound of glass shattering somewhere in the restaurant makes Maria stand straight and take a step back. “It was good to see you. Don’t be such a stranger.” She turns her big brown eyes to me. “Good to meet you.”
Joel’s attention snaps back to me with a playful smile. “How’s the wine?”
His ability to turn the charm from one woman to the next irks me. I swivel in my chair, forcing him back. “I need to check on Christian. I’ll be right back.”
I don’t wait for an answer as I weave back out of the restaurant. The sun has set, but a hint of pink and orange still streaks through the sky as I walk to the side of the restaurant out of the traffic coming in and out. I wrap my arms around my waist and force myself to breathe. God this was a mistake. This whole thing was a mistake. I’d been right to want to keep Joel as fantasy. The reality hurts too much. Every time I turn around there will be someone he’s slept with and then we’ll be over before I can even enjoy it. I’d been wrong convincing myself that I could have fun Joel Moreno style. Pretending to be okay with it and expecting him to treat me differently because I made him work for it a little more is just laughable.
Pulling out my phone I see I’ve already got a text from Blair.
Blair: Christian ran circles around us. You’re my hero.
She’s attached a photo and I laugh as I see her and Wes looking exhausted and disheveled and a sweet, sleeping Christian passed out on the bed. I run my finger over the screen wanting that. I want to be with Christian and I want someone that will be by my side exhausted every night but able to laugh and love every second of it because it’s all worth it.
“Hey.” Joel’s voice grabs my attention. He walks hesitantly toward me, hands in his pockets. “Everything okay?”
I hold the phone out. “He’s asleep.”
He smiles down at the photo and then steps to me and rests a hand at my hip. His phone beeps and he pulls it out, not letting go of me. His grin gets bigger and he turns his phone toward me. I read the text exchange from Joel’s phone.
Joel: All good?
Wes: Yep.
So much more concise than the novel of questions I was about to shoot off to Blair. Everything is fine.
“You checked up on him?” I’m touched he thought to do it.
He shrugs it off. “I knew it was important that you know he’s okay.”
I let out a long breath and hopefully some of my anxiety. Christian is fine. I’m a mess, but that’s of my own doing.
“Want to tell me why you really ran out here?”
My eyes widen in surprise and he chuckles lightly.
“Come on, Kitty. I know you better than you think I do.”
Inhaling through my nose and letting out another deep, cleansing breath, I decide to go for honesty. “I think this was a mistake.”
His grip on my hip tightens possessively.
“I thought I could be okay with
this and we could have fun and I could live in the moment and all that.” I sneak a glance up at him. “Yolo, like you said.” I chuckle softly. “But I can’t be one of those girls that you take out for dinner and drinks to make her feel special and wanted right before you move on to the next.”
“What girls?” His tone is hard.
I motion toward the restaurant behind us. “Like Maria.”
He steps closer until we’re chest to chest which is how I feel his shake before his laugh cuts through the silence.
I stiffen.
“Maria is my cousin Lucas’s wife. They own the restaurant and are very, very happily married.”
I feel like the wind has been knocked out of me. Well, sh– crap.
His fingers lift my chin and I meet his eyes with a sheepish grin. “I like this jealous side of you, though.”
“I’m not jealous,” I say, realizing I am and knowing the tone in my voice is proof of that.
He laughs again. “You totally are. Don’t worry, though, I like it. It’s the first time I’ve gotten a glimpse at how you’re really feeling. You do a good job of keeping everything locked up in here.” His hand moves to my chest and he taps it lightly.
“I hadn’t realized,” I say honestly.
“Look, I know what kind of woman you are. I dig it. I respect it.”
I hear the conviction in his words, but I can’t help but be disappointed he doesn’t try and defend himself either. At least he’s honest.
“You want to go back in?”
One last deep breath before I chuck the calming exercises and probably my sanity. You only live once.
“Yes.”
19
Joel
I didn’t plan this very well. We left her car on campus so I don’t have any reason to drop her off at home so I can get inside and we can take this thing to the next level. The next level is sex in case that wasn’t crystal clear.
“Oh my God, that was amazing. No wonder you bring all your dates here,” Katrina says as we walk out of the restaurant. She no longer sounds put off by the idea I’ve brought other girls here and I’m hesitant to clarify.
“Never brought anyone else here, Kitty.”
“But you have a standing reservation?” She studies me carefully. “And you never did tell me why your coach was at your table.”
“I’ve had a standing reservation every Thursday since October.” I wait for her to make the connection feeling all sorts of exposed by that statement.
“You’ve had a standing reservation every…” Her words trail off and her smile spreads slowly as if she’s weighing the truth in ounces.
“I wanted to have somewhere to bring you when you finally said yes.”
“And you never brought anyone else even after I turned you down every week?”
I glance up at her and then down, open the car door and close her in before I shake my head in response.
I groan as I walk around the car. I should have lied. I sound like a fool. What’s honesty if it keeps me from getting laid? Damn morals.
I slide into the car and we head back toward campus in a heavy silence.
“So.” She clears her throat. “You went to a lot of trouble for me.”
“It wasn’t any trouble.”
I shoot her what I hope is a playful smile, but I find her face serious and considering.
Dammit. This is what comes from trying too hard. I look like a total chump.
“Thank you.” She turns in her seat as much as the seatbelt will allow. “I’ve been second guessing your every move because I had all these preconceived notions about you, but that’s not fair. I’m sorry for that and I really appreciate tonight and all the help with the play.”
Great, now she thinks I’m some sort of good guy. “You’re welcome, Kitty. Can I talk you into hanging out a bit longer?”
“I should get home. I know he’s sleeping and it’s irrational, but I don’t want to be gone too long.”
“No explanation necessary. I figured you’d say that, but I was thinking maybe some ice cream and Saved by the Bell?”
“I don’t have any ice cream, but I’ve got some popsicles.”
“Sounds perfect.”
I call Wes after I drop Katrina at her car. I let her lead the way to her apartment even though I know the way probably better than she does.
“Hey,” Wes answers sounding groggy as he whispers into the phone.
“We’re on our way to the apartment now. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, we all passed out early. Kid is great, but man he’s full of energy.”
I hear Blair in the background. “Ask him about the date.”
“You hear that?” Wes asks.
“Yeah, I heard her. Went well. I’m following her back to the apartment for popsicles.”
He chuckles. “I bet you are.”
I don’t correct his assumption. Grumpy fucker.
“Be there in five.”
Pulling up at the apartment, I shut off the car and pop the console where I stash my condoms. I pull out one. Then grab five more. A tad overzealous perhaps but I’ve got big plans to screw Kitty until it’s physically impossible to go again. I don’t exactly want to work her out of my system, but I’m hoping that after tonight the heavy feeling I get in my chest every time I see or talk to her goes away.
Wes and Blair are already out the door as I jog up the stairs to Katrina’s second-floor apartment. They look like they’ve been through the wringer.
“You two look like shit.”
“Feel like it, too,” Wes says, rubbing a hand over his jaw and looking down adoringly at Blair. “You should hold out for much more next time he ropes you into babysitting.”
“Yeah, yeah. I appreciate it.”
I hustle past them, but Blair calls out behind me. “Treat her well, Moreno.”
Blair only uses my last name when I’m in trouble. Like she wants to remind me of who I am, and my last name somehow represents that.
I tap on the door quietly and hear Katrina shuffling inside. The door opens a moment later and she’s the picture of comfort. Changed out of her dress, she’s wearing leggings and a baggy t-shirt hanging off one shoulder, hair pulled up on top of her head. Normally I’d be bummed a chick put on loungewear, signaling that there will be no getting into her panties, but my dick twitches in appreciation confused because those leggings just show off how rocking her body is. A girl that can pull off Spandex is a true gem.
“I changed,” she says, pulling on the hem of her shirt.
“Wanted to slip into something more comfortable for me?”
She snorts, ignores my comment and walks over to the TV stand to grab the remote. “Want to pick up where we left off? We didn’t quite finish the episode where they’re trying to save The Max.”
I did and then beat off to the theme song, but sure as shit not saying that. “Sounds good.”
She hesitates as I move toward the couch as if she’s not sure where to sit or what to do. She takes a seat on one end and curls her feet up under her taking up as little space as possible. She’s folded herself up to pocket size like that’s gonna keep me from touching her. Fat chance, Kitty.
I sit down in the middle and pull her legs on to my lap. She giggles nervously as I take her dainty feet in my hand. A piece of blonde hair has come loose and hangs at the corner of her eye. Reaching forward, I brush the pad of my thumb over her smooth skin and tuck the hair behind her ear without thinking.
The simple movement takes me back to a million years ago and I freeze with panic.
20
Joel
October, Senior Year of High School
“Are you in this or not?” Polly asks as she pulls her hair up, twisting it and placing a clip to hold it back. She’s missed a strand and I tuck it back, shuffling my feet in front of my locker. I stare at the clump of hair, now behind one ear, because I know damn well if I look her in the eyes I’m done. Those big green eyes are the reason I started chasing her
and the reason I asked her to be my girlfriend. I thought I was going to be one of those guys that played the field and sowed my oats as Mr. Walter called it in sixth grade when we got the sex education talk.
I’d seen what true love was like. My parents were crazy about each other, even after seventeen years of marriage their love was obvious. Love like that was beautiful and special, I assumed, but I also saw how much work it was. Every Monday my father brought home white roses, my mother’s favorites. On Tuesdays, they had a date night – every week, no matter what. On Wednesdays, they played tennis together at the country club in some couple’s league. I could go on and on… every day was spent showing their affection. Sounded fucking exhausting.
Sure, I wanted all of that eventually, but I was content to let love take a backseat until I looked into those mossy green eyes. Now I’m fucked, but I get it.
“‘Course I’m in this. What does my buying you a phone have to do with this?”
“Consider it my early birthday gift,” she says.
“I thought we were going to hang out Saturday, celebrate the big one-eight then.” My gift depends on that being true.
“Didn’t I tell you? I’m going to visit my sister this weekend in Phoenix. She wants me to meet her friends and they’re having a party so it’s sort of perfect. I can celebrate my birthday with my sister this year.”
Well, shit. Polly’s sister is just a year older and they’re close. It’s been hard for Polly since her sister went to college. I wait for her to invite me, put a silver lining on my ruined weekend, but she doesn’t.
She holds up her busted iPhone and then stands on her tiptoes to catch my eye and stick out her full, pouty lips. “My screen is cracked. Don’t you want me to be able to text you while I’m gone?”
“Of course I do, but—”
“Then what’s the problem? You can afford it.”
An unpleasant weight settles on my chest. Well technically I can’t, but she knows I could get the money from my parents. I’m not even sure what the big deal is. Add it to the list of expensive shit I’ve bought her in the six months we’ve been dating. But those had been gifts I’d wanted to give her. She’s never come right out and asked for something before and I don’t like the way it makes me feel used.
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