He stilled and stood immediately. “What is it, lass?”
“I…I don’t want this.”
He lifted my dress to cover my breasts and nodded calmly. “I’m sorry, lass. ’Twas too much, too soon. Let me go to the kitchen and find us something to eat. We can just sit together and talk. There is no need for us to do anything more.”
“No.” I shook my head and in my panic, said the one thing I didn’t mean at all. “I didn’t mean this. I meant you. I don’t want you.”
I saw his teeth grind together, but his voice was calm when he spoke. “Aye, ye do, lass. Ye want me so badly ye are scared to death of it. But I’ve no need of anyone who is so frightened of everything that they are willing to toy with another’s emotions just to protect themselves. Goodnight, Kate.”
He turned and walked out.
Chapter 26
For the better part of two days, I kept a low profile. I didn’t know how to remedy the situation with Maddock, and I was worried that if I was out and about the castle, my sour mood would be visible, and I didn’t want anyone to have to worry about me.
It surprised me then, to hear his voice on the other side of the door two days after our last encounter.
“Kate, lass, I thought ye might like to know that yer mother and David have arrived.”
I opened the door to him and gauged his expression carefully. He looked as friendly as ever.
“Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know. Should I go down to meet them?”
He shook his head. “I doona think ’twill be necessary. I’m certain yer mother will be headed this way shortly. She is eager to see that ye are well.”
“Oh, okay.” I repeated myself, unsure of what to say to him. Eventually, in a burst of bravery, I said, “I thought you would be mad at me.”
He blinked as his brows furrowed together. “Lass, why would I be angry with ye?”
I shrugged. “Because I told you I didn’t want you.”
He cocked one knowing eyebrow at me, and I felt my cheeks flush red in embarrassment.
“But ye do, lass. And even if ye dinna want me, I still wouldna be angry with ye.”
“If you’re not angry, then what are you?”
He smiled and reached out to gently squeeze my hand. “I’m yer friend, lass.”
I mimicked his expression, raising one suspicious brow of my own. “So, you’re not going to find another reason to kiss me? You’re not going to compliment me or say anything flirty?”
He maintained a stoic expression as he dropped my hand. “No, lass. Three times I opened the door for ye, and three times ye turned me away. Ye are not ready. I canna fault ye for that. But our lives are now intertwined, lass. ’Twould be a shame for either of us to harbor ill will toward the other.”
Nothing about what Maddock was saying felt right, but I could feel no dishonesty in his gaze or tone.
Before I could respond to him, he pointed toward the end of the hallway where I leaned out from my doorway to see my mother barreling toward me.
“Kate! Oh my God, I’m glad to see you. How are you feeling?”
I smiled as her arms came around me but I quickly pinched my nose at the stench of her.
“Much better. How was the rest of the journey?”
“We survived it. That’s all I care to dwell on. Laurel has some large, redheaded man making me a bath so I can wash off all of this mud and dirt, but he pointed me to where I could find you so I ran up here really quickly to check on you and squeeze your neck.”
I nodded and pulled out of her grip. “I’m happy to see you, too. Now go get in that bath. You stink.” I winked at her and continued. “I’ll catch up with you later. I know you must be exhausted.”
“I am, dear.” She turned her head and gave Maddock a curt nod. “Maddock.”
He copied her gesture. “Myla.”
As my mother left us, I noticed a foul stench remained long after she disappeared around the corner, and Maddock’s jaw grew tight as he scrunched up his nose.
“What is that?”
“Machara. Are ye ready to meet her?”
Before arriving at the castle, I’d been anxious to meet her. I wanted to see firsthand what I would be dealing with. I wanted to get a read on her to see how I could defeat her, but now, I was more nervous than I expected to be.
“I suppose now is as good a time as any. Maddock?”
“Aye, lass?”
“I’m frightened.”
He nodded and took off down the hallway, waving his hand so I would follow him. “Ye should be. If Machara dinna frighten ye, I would be afraid of ye.”
* * *
Nicol had just awakened from his morning slumber when Maddock knocked on his bedchamber door. He opened it, smiled warmly, and stepped aside to let us inside.
It was a breathtaking room. With two walls made of solid glass, it had a modern appearance that, while at odds with the rest of the castle’s gothic décor, somehow blended nicely. It looked out over the castle grounds and an old, wilted garden that I assumed was where Freya appeared at night. I made a mental note to go and meet her that evening.
“I’m afraid she’s discovered that sending her vile smell throughout the castle works. We simply canna ignore it forever, and eventually we go down to see whatever ’tis she feels she must say.”
Maddock nodded and came to stand beside me as I looked out one of the glass windows.
“Aye. Mayhap if she meets our new residents, she will realize that they are no threat and will go back to searching for some way to destroy us.”
Maddock’s comment surprised me. For twenty years, The Eight had held Machara as their prisoner beneath the castle, and they were still not free from her. Laurel had only been here a short period of time, and she’d bested the bitch. Clearly, he knew nothing of what Machara’s father had cast into existence so many years ago—the chink in Machara’s, for lack of a better word, faerie armor that made it possible to defeat her.
“Why do you think I’m no threat to her?”
Both Maddock and Nicol turned to look at me in surprise. Maddock spoke first. “Ye are mortal, lass. Ye have no magic. Ye have no fae blood that we know of. Machara canna be beaten by one like ye. Besides, dinna ye come here to be with yer sister?”
I leaned into the glass wall behind me as I stared at both of them incredulously. They knew nothing. While I knew Laurel had been too busy with her own showdown with the faerie to sit them all down for a nice long chat, I still found it difficult to believe that she’d said nothing to them about what I’d told her. Although, in truth, she knew less about everything than I did.
Still, their attitude toward Machara stunned me. Even the way they spoke about her made her sound less like their prisoner and more like some queen that had to be obeyed. It was as if they were resigned to the belief that Machara was, and always would be, part of their lives at the castle, as if they had no intention of ever trying to be free of her. Was this the way all of the members of The Eight were? Had this been their way of life for so long that they were resigned to it?
Had they truly convinced themselves that they were content to spend their whole lives keeping Machara locked away with the reward for their hard work being that they would never be free?
I stared at them for a long moment as I worked through all of this in my mind. I wasn’t Machara’s caretaker. I wasn’t going to be her friend. While they might both be fine with coming to her every time she chose to use her horrid stench as some sort of call bell, I wouldn’t placate her in such a way.
My earlier fear was gone. So was any desire I had to see her.
“You go and see Machara if you want to. I’ll meet her when I’m ready.”
I turned away and left them without another word as I went in search of the one member of The Eight that was the most likely to still have some hope.
Chapter 27
I found Marcus visiting with his dad in the castle kitchen.
“Kate!” Marcus stood and moved to pull
me into one of his award-worthy hugs that always made me feel like there was a little more love in the world than I’d felt like there was before he wrapped his arms around me.
“How are you feeling? Still no fever?”
I smiled as I pulled away from him. “Everyone is much too worried about me. I feel perfect now. No fever at all.”
David stood and reached out to touch my arm. “Just so you know, I told him. I think your mother is telling Laurel as we speak. As much fun as it was for the two of us to sneak around, I’m pleased that we can now be open about our love for one another.”
I decided not to mention to David that I’d already told Laurel. “Well, good.”
David gave my arm a gentle pat as he left Marcus and me alone.
The moment David was gone, I turned to Marcus for his reaction to the news. I recognized the expression of shock on his face all too well.
“Who would’ve thought, huh?”
I shook my head and laughed, and we sat down together on a long wooden bench. “Not me. But, I guess it’s pretty nice, right? Now that I think about it, I think they’re sort of perfect for each other.”
“Agreed, but that’s not what you came to talk to me about. What’s up?”
I’d known Marcus for so long there was no need for me to beat around the bush with him about anything. I got straight to the point.
“Tell me about the druid stuff. Why do they refer to themselves as druids? How did you know you were one? What did you learn when they took you away? Are you happy doing this? Is this what you want for your life?”
He smiled. “Which one of those do you want me to answer first?”
“Just explain this all to me.”
He shifted as he settled in to get a little more comfortable before beginning. “Okay. Well, as for the term druid, we don’t use it in the traditional sense. We’re really witches or sorcerers,” he paused and scrunched up his nose, “or would it be wizards?” He shrugged, gave me a quick smile and continued. “I’m really not sure. Point being, druids come from an ancient Celtic religion and are often known for their ability to heal or give counsel. They observe the solstices and equinoxes with special ceremonies.
“We do all of these things, too. We each hold an equal stake in the land here, so as lairds of the Isle we often give counsel and help in the management of the land. We heal those who are sick, although most of the time we don’t use magic for that. We also observe the changes of the seasons and moon cycles. But…” He held up a finger as he made his point. “We don’t practice the true druid religion. Our powers are just inside us, and we’re not sure where they come from or why.”
I held up my hand to stop him so I could ask a question. “So, even back home in Boston, you had magic inside you and didn’t know it.”
He nodded. “I guess so. That’s the issue Dad has, I think. He can’t seem to wrap his mind around it. And if I hadn’t been able to feel the magic awaken itself in me once I got here, I’m not sure I would’ve believed it either. In all honesty, there’s so much that we don’t know or understand about what we are. All of it is conjecture. Nicol has a theory, though. He believes that more people than you would think have these abilities, but most are never in a situation that calls up the magic inside of them.”
I interrupted him once more. “So, it just lies dormant until needed? And for most people—especially, in our time—that’s pretty much forever?”
“Exactly.”
“What about when they took you away for training? What did they tell you about your role here? Your purpose?”
He waited a moment. “Most days they just focused on helping me hone my powers. They did, of course, explain the duty we have to the Isle, and that our combined magic helps keep everyone that lives here safe.”
“And that’s it? You’re fine with that? You guys have just accepted that your lives must be lived together, while you always try to keep Machara locked away? What happens when Nicol dies? Do you continue guarding this place? What happens when all of you die?”
His tone was calm, and accepting. “The Eight will always be replaced with new men. It’s the reason that even now we are searching for a man with magic that can replace Calder. And while Nicol’s death is hopefully something none of us have to deal with for many, many years, it will change nothing. Machara will still be a threat that we can never allow to be released.”
I couldn’t wrap my mind around how all of them could be so docile about it. Their commitment to one another and to the Isle was noble, but it took away so much of their freedom.
“And you’re okay with that? You have always been so independent, Marcus. You loved Boston, loved your friends and your job, and your family. You’re really okay with spending your life here, dedicating it to this cause?”
“No, in all honesty, I’m not. And I think all of the men hope someday we will find a way to truly defeat her, but we all have to find a way to have some peace in our lives even if we don’t.” He paused. “And you’re wrong about Boston. I put on a good face. While I loved my job, I was floundering in it. I wouldn’t have been able to survive doing it another year. And as for my friends, my best one is here. Now, thanks to you, my family is, too. So, I’m okay. I’m still adjusting, but I really am okay.”
I frowned as my frustration grew. There was a soft push against the cracked door, and I turned to see Mr. Crinkles saunter into the room. I ran across and snatched him up as I smothered him with kisses.
“There you are.” Now that Mr. Crinkles had a whole castle to explore, it seemed like I saw a lot less of him.
Marcus smiled as Mr. Crinkles began to purr. “Look, I don’t want to bullshit you. I’m not sure this is the life I would’ve chosen for myself, but it is what it is.”
I looked up into his eyes, and a sort of dogged determination flared up inside me. I knew what it was like to have things you couldn’t change. I would never grow my arm back. I couldn’t go back to my life before the fire. I couldn’t change what it meant for my life now, having to live without a part of myself. If Machara’s hold on them was something these men could change, and I knew that it was, it made my blood boil to think that they weren’t doing anything about it.
But they didn’t know what I knew. Once they did, surely they would be on board, as well.
“Do you guys have some books around here? A library or anything? Don’t all old castles have a good library?”
He laughed. “I think that assumption has come from one too many viewings of Beauty and the Beast, but yes, there is a library.”
“Can I use it?”
He reached out to pull me into another hug. “Of course, you can use it.”
It pleased me to see that Marcus had at least settled in to feeling at home here.
“Thank you. I’ve got something I need to take care of first, but if anyone can’t find me later, that’s where I’ll be.”
Dusk would be here soon.
It was time for me to meet Freya.
Chapter 28
That night just after dusk, before Nicol made his nightly trek down to the garden to spend the night with Freya, I went down to meet the ghostly woman I’d heard so much about.
It startled me when I saw her. While intellectually, I knew she would simply appear once the sun dropped into the sky—it was still shocking to witness. She was stunning. Translucent and bright, her long dark hair fell loosely around her waist, and her eyes were the darkest I’d ever seen. If not for her smile, she would’ve been rather frightening.
“I can see the resemblance between ye and yer sister. I’m verra fond of her.”
I smiled. I couldn’t help but stare at her, my eyes wandering up and down the length of her body. “I’m fond of her too. It’s so nice to meet you.”
“Come and sit, lass. Nicol willna be down for awhile still.”
I followed her over to a small garden bench and together we sat down.
“Does he come even on nights like this? Even when it’s freezing and rai
ning?”
She nodded a little sadly. “He does. Despite my insistence that he needn’t do so, he comes each and every night.”
“He loves you.”
“And I him. How do ye find the castle?”
I glanced up at the tall, foreboding fortress and then turned my gaze to the garden surrounding me. It had long since withered and died.
“The people are wonderful.”
Freya laughed. “Ye long for more beauty just as I do, aye?”
“Why haven’t they tended to this garden for you? Made it a place that is at least pleasing to be when you’re here?”
“I doona believe it has occurred to them. Truly, there is no need. I couldna smell the flowers or feel the warmth even if ’twas here.”
I knew from my own experiences beautifying people’s surroundings that the aesthetics of one’s home holds so much more power than people realize.
“No, but you could see them. Sometimes that makes all the difference.”
She looked past me to a long-since-withered bush of something that once bloomed, and I could see the sadness in her eyes.
“Mayhap ye are right.” She paused and reached for my hand. While I could see her touching me, I could feel nothing. It made my heart ache all the way through. How painful it would be to be stripped of the ability to feel someone’s skin against your own. “I’ve a feeling Machara’s temper willna be the only thing that changes now that ye are here.”
“Machara’s temper?” I looked at Freya curiously.
“Aye. She’s frightened. Her hold over me has bound us together, and she has never been as frightened as she is now.”
That gave me a sense of hope. I’d been right to ignore her stinky request that we meet. Whether Maddock and Nicol believed it or not, I was a threat to Machara, but I was currently more concerned with the other ways Freya mentioned that I might change things.
Love Beyond Wanting: Book 10 of Morna’s Legacy Series Page 12
