by Dana R. Lynn
If Isaac ever returned to the Amish life, it couldn’t be because of her. That would be shortsighted. And what happened if he grew tired of that life and wanted to return to the Englisch world? He was an honorable man, so he probably wouldn’t desert her.
No, he’d just stay and start to resent her for being the reason he was stuck in a life he didn’t want.
Her heart grew so heavy. She could not bear the thought of being the person to hold him back.
“Lizzy? You okay? Looking pretty somber there.”
Startled out of her reverie, she lifted her head to find that they were alone in the office. Where had everyone gone?
“I’m sorry. I wasn’t paying attention. I didn’t notice the chief and Ryder leaving.”
He shrugged. “No problem. The chief is going to see about getting the bishop’s permission. A friend of hers is the sheriff near my old community and she’s going to ask him to visit the bishop. Ryder will try to hurry the search warrant for the restaurant. We’ll wait here and stay safely out of sight. If we do go to my house, I want my face out in public as little as possible, although Zave has obviously already seen me. Enough that he recognized which number was on my cruiser.”
His lips twisted. She sighed. “I’m sorry that your car was destroyed.”
“Yeah, me, too. But it could have been worse. And no one was hurt, so that’s good.”
She nodded, noticing for the first time how quiet the office was. With no one else around, it seemed uncomfortably intimate. She bit her lip. It wasn’t approved of for a young woman of courting age to be alone with a single young man. True, there were extenuating circumstances, but she knew her father wouldn’t approve.
Knowing that they were both stranded in the empty office for the time being, she frantically searched for a topic of conversation. Anything to detract from the tension she could feel sizzling between them. She flicked a sidelong glance at him through her lashes. He was looking directly at her, his blue-gray eyes deep and intense. The tension thickened. Her heart fluttered, even as her stomach flipped. When she realized she was breathless, she turned her head away from him, trying to regain her equilibrium.
She was twenty years old, not a young girl!
Another thought struck her. Whatever else she might have been feeling, she was not feeling anxiety. Excitement and anticipation, but not anxiety. The novelty of it calmed her, as she reflected with some awe on this turn of events.
Isaac sat down across from her. Their knees almost touched, but not quite. The urge to close the distance was disturbing. She needed to break the silence.
“What was the hardest thing to get used to when you left your community?” Maybe it wasn’t the most polite question to ask, but she owned to being very curious. “My sister was always amazed by how much people talked. Even though she was deaf and couldn’t hear it, it seemed like people were always either texting or calling each other, or just talking.”
He rubbed his chin. She was relieved to see that he didn’t appear to be insulted. “Let me think. I was amazed at how everyone seemed to be in a hurry. It didn’t matter what they were doing. Driving, writing, talking. Even eating. There was always somewhere they had to be, and people were always talking about being late.”
She nodded. “Jah. I have seen that, too.”
From there, they talked about several different subjects, and slowly the tension eased off. Before she knew it, they were laughing together over stories of trouble they’d gotten into as children.
“I can’t believe that you got into so much mischief!” Isaac exclaimed, grinning.
“Jah, I was not a well-behaved child. I was always too curious! And my mother despaired because I would never walk. Always, I would run. Not because I was in a hurry. I just liked the feeling of moving fast. Especially with bare feet. Ack! I hated wearing shoes. My mamm tells me that for the first five years of my life, I was always walking around barefoot. Even when they managed to get shoes on me, I would take one off. Always the left foot. It didn’t matter where I was. It wasn’t uncommon for me to walk around with only one shoe. According to my family, there are still left-side shoes out there somewhere that they’ve never found.”
They laughed. She hugged her arms around her waist when her sides started to ache.
He stopped laughing suddenly. She chuckled and looked over at him.
And suddenly her laughter got stuck in her throat.
The expression on his face was unmistakable. She couldn’t breathe. He wanted to kiss her.
And she wanted to let him.
* * *
It would be so easy to lean forward and kiss those pink lips. He wanted to kiss her more than he wanted his next breath. When he glanced into her eyes, he was lost. She wanted him to kiss her as much as he did.
Without thinking about it, he started to lean forward. He was so close he could feel her breath on his face. He leaned in, just a little closer. Her eyes drifted shut.
Just before their lips could touch, a door slammed open, jolting him to his senses. Ryder’s voice came clearly from the hall. Isaac leaped to his feet and all but ran to the other side of the room, where he paced while he willed his wild pulse to cease hammering in his veins. His face was hot. He raked his hands through his hair.
What had he been thinking? He had almost kissed her, here in his office. He cast an agonized glance over at Lizzy. Her cheeks were red, and he could see that her hands were tightly clasped in her lap. She was biting her lip.
Was she mad at him? Offended? He had no idea what was going through her mind. They weren’t walking out together or courting. They weren’t even in a position to ever be doing either of those.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, his voice hoarse in the quiet room. “I never meant for that to happen.”
She nodded but didn’t respond.
“Lizzy, did I offend you?”
Finally, her head lifted and she speared him with a glistening glance. Man, he’d made her cry. He had been feeling bad. Now he felt horrible.
“I’m not mad at you, Isaac. I’m upset at myself.”
He blinked. “Mad at yourself? What for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
She gave a bitter laugh. “Isaac, I am not a child. I am twenty years old. I know better than to be in situations like this where such things happen. I also know better than to kiss a man who is not part of my culture. Nee, this is not your fault. At least, not completely. I could have pulled back. I made the choice not to, and that was selfish of me.”
He felt hollow inside. When she stated the facts as she saw them so clearly, he saw that, in her mind, he was not an acceptable choice for her. He had already known this and had admitted it to himself, but to hear the words spoken out loud by the woman he had nearly kissed, well, it just made his spirits sink.
“Hey, guys! Guess what I found out?” Ryder sauntered into the room, completely oblivious to the vibes bouncing between Isaac and Lizzy. Isaac was good with the distraction.
“What?”
“Sid and his mother and sister have been moved to witness protection. Sid has agreed to testify if Zave can be brought to court. The kid has courage, I’ll say that for him.”
“I am so happy that he and his family are safe!” Lizzy exclaimed. She moved to stand near the men, keeping several feet between herself and Isaac. While he understood why, it still bothered him.
Ryder started to head out of the office. “Oh.” He turned back to them. “The chief said for me to tell you that you’re all clear on Operation Amish. I’m to drive you there this evening. She figured that it might be easier if you went after dark. That way, you’d be less visible in the car, you know?”
“We’ll be ready,” Isaac responded. His stomach, though, was flipping like he’d swallowed a bullfrog. Ryder tossed another grin their way and then left the room.
He was going to see his famil
y, after seven long years. How would they react? Would his sister, Mary, even recognize him? Would he recognize her? She’d been ten when he left, so she was just about seventeen now. The same age he had been when he left. And his mamm. Did she look much older? His insides quivered. Did she blame him for what had happened? She was letting him back into her home, surely that meant something.
A hand touched his. Lizzy slid her hand under his and turned it so that they were clasping fingers. It wasn’t a romantic hold. He could see it in her eyes. She was offering her understanding and her support. He squeezed her fingers, letting her know he appreciated the gesture.
“It will be all right, Isaac. I know it’s not easy, but trust Gott. He will help you through this. And I’ll do whatever I can to make this easier for you.”
“You are amazing, you know that?” he said. Her eyes widened in surprise. “No, I’m serious. Someone is after you, you are being told you can’t go home, and yet here you are, offering me comfort. Thank you.”
Two hours later, he was grateful for her supportive presence as Ryder’s truck motored toward his mother’s house. He could feel every bump and dip in the road. He was sure that Lizzy, who was sitting in the middle, could, too. She kept reaching out and bracing herself on the dashboard.
Ryder muttered apologies every time they encountered a particularly harsh bump, but other than that, the ride progressed smoothly. There was very little conversation. Ryder told them stories, but both Isaac and Lizzy were too tense to do more than offer token responses.
It was a little after seven in the evening when Isaac directed his friend to turn up his family’s driveway. Ryder nodded and spun the wheel. The sounds of the truck suddenly sounded loud. “You should probably get the muffler checked out,” Isaac muttered. It sounded so much louder out here than in the busyness of the town.
“Yeah. Maybe.” Ryder shifted into Park in front of the house.
Isaac drew in a deep breath, then shoved open the door. He slid out of the truck, then offered Lizzy a hand to assist her out of the vehicle. Ryder left the motor running as he exited. Clearly, he wasn’t intending on sticking around once he knew that his friend was indeed welcome at his childhood home.
The front door creaked open. A young woman of seventeen stepped out. She was lovely in the faded light. Isaac couldn’t see every detail clearly, but he knew her eyes would be brown, and her hair would be a light brown. The dress she was wearing was dark. Blue, or maybe purple, he guessed.
“Mary,” he greeted her, his voice taking on a definite rasp.
“Isaac.” Her voice was shy, but not unwelcoming. It was too much to ask her to give him a hug, he supposed.
No sooner had the thought entered his mind than his little sister was launching herself off the porch and into his arms. His throat squeezed shut.
She released him and turned to Lizzy.
“This is my friend, Lizzy.”
To his surprise, she embraced Lizzy. “Thank you! It’s because of you that my brother is home again.”
“Um.” Lizzy glanced his way warily. “You’re welcome. But—”
Mary waved the protests away. “I know. He’s here for a short time. We also know about the man who is chasing you. Gott will take care of you, though. He always does.”
Isaac opened his mouth to respond to his sister, but he never uttered the words. An older woman stepped out onto the porch. Her hands were covering her mouth, and even in the gathering darkness, he could see the glisten of her eyes as she fought against the tears.
She reached for him and he surged forward, taking her in his arms. “Hello, Mamm.”
TWELVE
Lizzy’s eyes grew hot as she watched the reunion between mother and son. Ryder pulled her aside for a moment and said his goodbyes.
“Do you still have that phone that Isaac gave you?”
She started. “I had forgotten about it, but yes, I still have it.”
He nodded. “Good. Use it if you need to.”
Isaac separated from his family long enough to wish his friend a safe journey back to Waylan Grove. As the truck roared down the drive and out onto the street, Lizzy shivered. Her shoulder blades twitched. Standing out in the open like this, she felt like they were all vulnerable.
“Lizzy?” Isaac’s warm breath tickled her ear. She shivered again.
“I feel like we’re not safe standing out here.”
His hand briefly gripped her shoulder, letting her know that he was there for her. She could grow very used to such things, she mused before turning her back on the thought.
“Mamm, Mary, let’s go inside, yes?” Isaac’s mother nodded and ushered her guests into her home.
Lizzy crossed the threshold and felt the comfort of being in a familiar setting. She had never been in this home before, but she had spent her life in Plain homes. The simplicity and the well-cared-for interior called to her, comforted her.
Isaac’s mom, whose name she discovered was Ruth, was thrilled to have her son back in her home. Lizzy didn’t want to be in the way during this reunion, so she asked to be shown to her room, with the intention of resting.
“I’ll show you,” Mary volunteered.
To her surprise, Isaac followed her to the bottom of the stairs. “Where’s the phone I gave you?”
“Ryder asked me the same thing,” she remarked, drawing the phone out of her apron.
He nodded. “I know we’re here for our safety and that our plan is to blend in. However, I think we still need to be smart. I’m putting my number in this phone. If you need to call me in an emergency, I’m number two on the speed dial.” He quickly modeled using the speed dial feature on the phone. “Hopefully, you’ll never need to use it. But I would rather you knew how and not need it than be left helpless and in danger.”
She took the phone from him when he was through. Their fingers brushed against each other, sending sparks and shivers up her arm. The intense longing that came with it had her pulling back. Did she imagine the regret on his face?
“Good night, Isaac.”
Before she could change her mind, she ran lightly up the stairs to where Mary was waiting for her. She liked Isaac’s sister. The girl was quiet, but she had a certain wryness in her voice. Lizzy wouldn’t have been shocked if she discovered that under her shy and demure demeanor, Mary had a mischievous streak.
In her room, she prepared for bed.
Before she got under the covers, she walked to the window and knelt by the windowsill. There were no curtains. She had gotten used to having them, as the bishop in her district allowed them in bedroom windows for modesty’s sake. She knew that in many districts, curtains were not allowed.
It was very easy to imagine someone peering up at her window in the darkness.
Where was Zave? Had he started to search for her?
And Sue, poor Sue! She prayed that her friend was still alive. What had they wanted from her? Was her home really destroyed in an effort to locate Lizzy? Isaac had thought it was a possibility. She hated the thought that someone would hurt her friend just to find Lizzy.
What kind of person would do such a thing?
Outside, a steady rain began to fall against the house. The drops splashed against the window, smearing the view. Leaving her spot, she went to the bed and lay down, pulling the comforter snug against her chin.
She was warm, and the bed had just the right amount of firmness. The house she was in was comfortable, and the people were welcoming. She’d had a very long day, and she was so tired she could feel it all the way down to her bones.
But tired as she was, she didn’t think she’d be able to sleep well, knowing that Zave was still out there, searching for her.
Her God was bigger, though. He would see her through this. Hadn’t He given her a strong protector in Isaac, one who she knew would step in front of a bullet for her? She always insisted th
at she had faith in God, yet she refused to hand over control of her life and how she would live it, a decision based on fear, not on truth and light.
“The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?” She whispered into the dark, the words of Psalm 27:1 coming to her mind.
Determined to trust God in the days and trials to come, she resolutely shut her eyes.
* * *
“I am so happy to see you home, my son. Tell me about this danger your friend is in.”
Isaac gazed into his mother’s face, the flickers of the candles she had lit casting shadows across the familiar planes. She looked a little older, but her voice, her laugh and her smile were the same. Could she really have forgiven him? He kept waiting for the words of recrimination, or for the taint of bitterness in her tone. But he never heard it. As amazing as it might seem, it appeared that she had completely forgiven him for his role in tearing the family apart. He was humbled by the grace she extended to him.
At the very least, he had expected some comment about how he had disappointed his father. About how his father had died waiting for him to come back.
Even that never came.
“I can’t tell you everything that happened. What I can tell you is that Lizzy witnessed someone getting shot. And now she is being hunted, most likely because she is the one person who can identify the shooter. We have reason to believe that the man knows where she lives. We thought her coming here would be the safest place for her.”
“It will be well. Gott has a plan for this.”
How could she be so calm about it all? Even as he wondered it, he wished for just a small measure of the faith that had carried his mother through so much. Had he ever had this much faith? Maybe if he had, things would’ve been different when Joshua died.
