by Christi Snow
“I get what you’re saying, but I think you’re wrong.” Ryder bit on his lower lip. “What if we made a deal?”
“What kind of deal?”
“One where we can both be sure before we go to a place that we can’t come back from.”
“I’m listening.” Stig had no idea what Ryder could be proposing, but his cock pulsed at the remote possibility that it could end with Ryder in his bed.
Fuck, he had to stop thinking like that. But the way they were laying on the bed, Stig couldn’t help but be aware of Ryder’s cock, also hard and ready as it pressed into his hip.
“We go to Vegas in two days,” Ryder said. “And...you’re right.” Ryder swallowed and his face flushed red as he glanced away.
“Right about what?”
“My experience. I don’t have any, and I suck with women. But with you as my wingman, combined with the reputation of everyone being able to score there, maybe I can change that. If you’ll help me in Vegas, I’ll try to hookup with a woman just to prove that it’s you and not just your proximity turning me on.”
Crap, there went his boner. That was probably better for being able to think this all through, but hell...
Stig sat up straighter and ran a hand over his face. Could he do this? He was a masochist, but this might be pushing it even for him. Could he sit by and watch—hell, if he understood the proposal, even help—Ryder hook up with someone else? That’s what he’d be signing up for. Everything within him wanted to howl at the impossibility and pain of the idea. No. Hell, no, he couldn’t do that.
But then he looked back at Ryder’s earnest expression and sighed. He couldn’t say no, either. Ryder deserved all the things that love would bring to his life. He was such a good man and deserved physical touch.
Ryder wouldn’t be able to make a long-lasting connection with a stranger in Vegas, but maybe if Stig helped, Ryder would gain the confidence and come back to Denver ready to put himself out there with someone else.
“I’ll try this plan out in Vegas not because this is what I want, but because you seem to need me to trust what I’m feeling,” Ryder continued. “But if it doesn’t work out, I want a chance to see what could happen between the two of us.”
Excitement boiled low in Stig’s belly sending shocks of pleasure and anticipation over his skin. This could end with Ryder in his arms. Yeah, it was a remote possibility, but it was a possibility. He couldn’t resist that.
“If I agree, you have to give this a concerted effort. You can’t just go into this half-hearted and get what you want, Ry.”
Ryder sat up and scooted away from him. “What will satisfy you? Do I have to sleep with her?”
“God, no. I don’t want to force you into sleeping with someone if you aren’t feeling it, but I don’t think just kissing is enough for you to truly know the full effect, either. Shit, I don’t know. Second? Third base? Hell, it’s been so long since I messed with a woman, I don’t even know what the bases are anymore.” He gave a hollow laugh.
But now Ryder looked at him with wide eyes. “Wait a minute, you’ve messed with a woman before?”
“Sure.” Stig shrugged. “I haven’t always been as confident about who I was sexually as I am now. I get it. Everyone questions their identity at some point in time, I think. While I was fairly certain early on, my life would have been much easier if I was at least bi, so I dated a few women—one in particular for almost a year.”
“And you had sex with her?”
“Yes, and while overall it was an okay experience, it always left me feeling...I don’t know...hollow I guess is the word for it. It wasn’t right.”
But there had also been experiences with men that created that same effect. Damn, was he stupid to even suggest this? While Ryder hadn’t come out and said it, he had to be a virgin. Stig just couldn’t be the guy to take that from him, only to witness the betrayal and blame afterward when Ryder decided that no, gay was certainly not the way to go.
This had to work, because his resolve to be the good guy was wavering. It wasn’t a role he’d ever filled before, and that rare use of scruples was costing him. So, he needed to get Ryder laid and away from this idea of his that they should do something together.
Afterward, he’d would drink heavily and drown the memories of what might have been. But that was a worry for another day. First, he had to take care of Ryder’s problems...like any good friend would.
Chapter Seventeen
Stig
As Stig entered the back door of the gallery, he was surprised to see the light spilling out from the office. They were supposed to be closed the rest of the week. He took the stairs two at a time and had his cell phone out ready to dial 911 if he needed it.
But as he crossed the threshold, Lola looked up at him, guilt clouding her face as she quickly shut her paperback.
“Stig,” she gasped. “I didn’t think you planned to come in today.”
He tilted his head at her, trying to bite back his smile. “I changed my mind.” Mainly because his house walls were closing in, and he was trying to avoid the temptation to call Ryder to see what he was doing today.
Ryder had said last night that he planned to spend today resting to recover from his twenty-four hour bout with the flu. He wanted to make sure he was as healthy as possible heading into their Vegas trip. Stig could go a single day without checking in.
He raised an eyebrow at Lola and glanced pointedly at her book. “So, what are you doing here?”
She gave him a weak smile. “Avoiding my mom?”
“Is that the answer you’re going with?”
“Yes.” Lola stood up and began pacing, frustration oozing from her in bursts of jerky movements. Finally, she stilled, gave a deep sigh, and faced him with a remorseful expression on her face. She shrugged. “I’m avoiding my mom. She’s on a guilt trip for grandkids since my dad died. I don’t want to face her.
“So, I didn’t tell her we were closed this week. Otherwise, I would have had to be at her house, hearing the guilt lecture a couple of days early.” She grimaced at him. “Sorry. It was easier to get dressed up and come here and pretend to work. I can leave if you want me to, or...” She looked at him questioningly. “If you want me to work, I can do that, too.”
Stig chuckled. “No. Go back to your book. It’s no problem if you want to come here to escape. I get it. I would invite you to Vegas if you—”
“No.” She shook her head at him. “That would never work. The guilt effect is real. If I skipped out on a family holiday, it would just make it that much worse for Christmas. The pain isn’t worth it, but thank you for the thought.”
Stig nodded and then headed to his office, stopping just outside the door to look back at Lola. She was attractive, had worked for him ever since she’d graduated from college, but it had been years since he’d considered her as a female. “Lola?”
“Yeah?” She glanced up at him from her book.
“I don’t remember, and I know I probably shouldn’t ask, but... How old are you?”
She wrinkled her nose at him. “Thirty-three, so I don’t feel like I’m quite over the hill yet.”
“Not even close,” he reassured her. “Would you ever consider dating someone younger?”
“Of course. It’s about the man, not the age. Why? Do you know some hot young stud that’s my dream partner, and I just haven’t met him yet?”
Stig had to hold back the shudder of apprehension from that phrase. While the idea of Ryder with someone else was about the worst thing he could think of, Lola was a good woman. At least with her, Ryder would be treated well. She wouldn’t set out to hurt him.
She watched him curiously, waiting for his answer.
He rubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “I’m not sure. Maybe. Let me see how the holiday goes, and I’ll let you know.”
“O...kay. You’re being very weird. Is something going on?”
“Just trying to work on a puzzle for a friend.” He could ask Lola about
all those questions plaguing him and how he could help Ryder in this quest.
What were the bases? What did women look for in a man to date versus a man to just hook up with? Was there a difference for women? For men there was, but most men looked at sex much differently than women did. He sure as hell didn’t want to get Ryder into a situation where he could be seen as leading a woman on. Crap.
Thank fuck, he was gay. Dealing with women brought a whole new layer of complications.
He shook his head. “I’ll be in my office if you need me.”
She nodded and reopened her book, sliding off her heels and tucking her feet up underneath her in her office chair.
An hour later after searching a dozen women’s websites about dating and finding a man, Stig knew the differences between all the bases. Ryder probably needed to make it to third base with a woman, but if he did, Stig sure as hell didn’t want to hear about it.
When he couldn’t handle the influx of any more estrogen, he began another type of research for Ryder. Following a series of links, he ended up on a site for a medical clinic in St. Louis that specialized in treatment for long-term traumatic brain injuries. From what he could tell, they’d achieved incredible results with a treatment mix of prismatic glasses and memory exercises. Could a solution be that easy? He fired off an email to the contact address, outlining what he knew about Ryder’s injury and lingering issues from it.
Then he downloaded a recommended biography book written by one of their patients, a PhD and noted professor, he’d found relief from his symptoms eight years after his brain injury.
Ryder’s life could be so much more if he could find a solution. Even if they found some sort of relief for the migraines and memory issues, it could be huge to the impact on the quality of Ryder’s life. If there were a possibility this clinic could help, it would be worth the effort to try. He checked his Kindle app on his phone to make sure the book downloaded.
Lola knocked on his doorframe.
He looked up and took in her briefcase hooked over her shoulder. “Are you headed home?”
“Yes. What time does your flight leave tomorrow?”
“Mac splurged on a charter flight, so the time isn’t as strict, but we’re supposed to be at the airport at nine.”
“Are you okay here?” she asked, looking at the bare desk beside his laptop.
“Yeah, I’m just finishing up on some research, and then I’ll head home, too. Have a good Thanksgiving, Lola. Don’t let your mom get to you.”
“I might just have to throw one of my brothers under the bus. Sean mentioned a girl that he’s getting kind of serious about the last time I talked to him. Mom should know.” She winked at him.
“You’re evil.”
“Hey, when it comes to my mom and her need for grandkids, it’s every sibling for themselves.”
Stig chuckled and shook his head. “Better you than me. Have a good holiday, regardless.”
“Thanks, Stig. And I better not get a phone call from Vegas needing bail money, okay?”
“I’ll try my best.”
She gave him a wave and took off.
After she was gone, the heaviness of the quiet pressed in on him. Lola hadn’t been loud when she’d been here reading, but she’d been present, something he’d been very aware of. Now, it was just him.
Alone.
He spun his cell phone, resting on the edge of the desk. He desperately wanted to reach out to Ryder. That’s what friends did, right? But talking to him every day bordered on needy and definitely pushed them closer to another type of relationship. Before he could debate it more, his phone chimed with an incoming text.
Ryder: Want to see the first edits from Remy’s photo shoot?
Stig: Hell, yes.
A photo came through that took Stig’s breath away. It was one of the nighttime shots. The only illumination in the photo came from the twinkle lights of the trees. Remy stood with his side to the trees, so the light bounced over the planes of his side. His face was turned toward the lights and the way the illumination lit his expression made him look both fierce and vulnerable. Wanting. The lights were out of focus so they looked liked twinkling fairies flying in the background.
Everything about the photo spoke to Stig, even on his tiny phone screen. He couldn’t imagine how much more powerful the image would be on a large scale.
He scrambled to call Ryder.
He didn’t even give Ryder a chance to speak when he answered. “I’m putting you on the gallery calendar right now. I know you still aren’t sure about showing, but the world deserves to see your talent, and you owe it to Remy to show what he can do, too.”
“Does that mean you like it?” He could hear the giddiness in Ryder’s voice.
“Hell, yes. It’s fantastic. I can’t wait to see it blown up. How big can you make it?”
“Pretty much anything up to billboard size.”
“Well, maybe not billboard, but I could easily imagine it as a four-foot by six-foot piece.” Even imagining it as a centerpiece in the gallery had Stig’s mouth watering. This exhibit would be incredible. “Have you edited any others? Are they all this amazing?”
“Yeah,” Ryder said quietly, almost shyly. “I’ve done several, and I’m pleased with the results. I can’t wait to print some up to show to Remy. I need to get some sent to him tonight.”
“You’re going to blow that kid’s mind with these.”
“Thanks, Stig.” The line grew quiet. “What are you doing tonight?”
Stig could hear the unasked question. Would he like to come over and hang out? But that wouldn’t be a good idea. They both needed some separation. At least for tonight and then they’d see what happened in Vegas. Butterflies took flight in Stig’s belly. “I’m at the gallery finishing up some last minute things since we’ll be out of town the rest of the week.”
“Oh, okay. Well, I didn’t mean to interrupt. I’ll let you get back to work.”
“Ry?”
“Yeah?”
“You can interrupt me anytime. I’m glad you reached out. I had actually just been thinking about texting you.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. I’ll see you in the morning. Tommy’s still giving you a ride to the airport, right?”
“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Don’t work too late. Goodnight, Stig.”
“Nite, Ry.”
He ended the call and went back to his text notifications to look at the photo of Remy again. How did Ryder do that? This was a photo. Stig had been there when he took it. He remembered the moment. The three of them had been joking about how bizarre the entire setup would look if someone happened to wander by, the three of them staging this photo shoot in the dark of the night. There had never been any instruction about facial expressions or anything.
But the photo, like all of Ryder’s art, spoke of loneliness and want. It was an incredible talent that Stig admired the hell out of. But at the same time, he wanted to strip Ryder of that ability. The man knew way too much about loneliness for it to invade every aspect of his art like this.
No matter who he ended up with, Ryder deserved companionship in his life. If he found that with a woman, Stig may not like it on a purely selfish level, but he’d be happy. His friend deserved that and so much more.
Chapter Eighteen
Ryder
Ryder opened his front door before Tommy could knock.
“You ready?” Tommy grabbed Ryder’s duffle from him, all the while examining Ryder for signs that he wasn’t physically up to the trip.
“Yep, I’m good.” He’d awoken this morning and popped out of bed more excited about this trip than he had been about anything for a while. Yes, he was enthused about Tommy’s marriage to Mac, but the thrill of anticipation thrumming under his skin today had everything to do with Stig and their plans. If all went right on this trip, he’d finally have Stig in his bed. He had a strategy and that seemed to have positively affected his health. Damn, he actually felt really good this morni
ng.
“What else do you need?” Mac asked as he followed Tommy into the house.
“I’m going to take my wheelchair, but I’m really thinking I may not need it.” He pointed to the apparatus folded into travel mode just inside the doorway.
Mac grinned as he hefted the chair. “You look like you’re feeling good. It’s going to be an epic trip.”
“Hell yeah, it is.” Ryder lightly touched the key he wore under his T-shirt that Tommy had given to him last year. It had originally been from their mother. She’d given it to Tommy to encourage him with the words, Do Epic Shit. Ryder planned to fully embrace that idea this trip. This was his chance, and he wasn’t going to let it pass him by.
“Do you have your camera gear?” Tommy asked as he looked down at the remaining backpack by the door.
“Yep, got it.” He hefted up the heavy camera gear, shifted it onto his back, and then grabbed his cane. He’d been thrilled when Mac and Tommy asked if he’d photograph the weekend. The wedding venue had a professional photographer on staff, but he would be documenting the rest of this adventure for them. “That should be all of it.”
Mac had arranged a tailor to fit them all for tuxes for the wedding when they arrived so he didn’t have any large garment bags, just his shoes and a couple of changes of casual clothes in his duffle.
“You have black socks, right?” Tommy asked.
“Yes, Dad.” He rolled his eyes at his older brother and then turned to Mac, who stood outside the doorway watching them with amusement. “Is it my imagination or is he nervous?”
Mac chuckled as he rose up to kiss Tommy. “Maybe a little, but I have ways to relax him.”
Tommy’s eyes darkened and heated. He raised an eyebrow at his fiancé. “I think I like the sound of that. Are we joining the mile-high club today?”
Ryder groaned out loud. “Oh, for god’s sake, I’m standing right here. I don’t want to hear that shit. Arrange your assignations when I’m out of earshot, please?”
Tommy laid another kiss on Mac and turned to Ryder, pure happiness and mirth radiating from his expression. “Sorry, little brother. I’m on my way to get married to the man of my dreams. There’s going to be some PDA.” Then Tommy reached around to cup Mac’s ass.
