by Trish D.
It was a 45-minute ride to Aunt Carol’s townhome. Of all the times we had visited Detroit we had never come to Aunt Carol’s home. This was mostly because she spent most of the summer traveling. She would visit at Grandma and Grandpa’s house and always had fancy souvenirs from her latest travels. Her townhome was beautiful on the exterior. It was brick and the lawn as well manicured with beautiful flowers planted along the path leading to the door. From the front door, you could tell that the inside was just a beautiful. Aunt Carol had never married and had no children. For as long as I could remember, she had always said that she would rather travel the world then raise kids. She loved when her nieces and great nieces came to visit, but she also was glad that they wouldn’t stay permanently. For many years, she worked as a CRNA and had done pretty well for herself. As result, everything she bought for herself was top of the line. I couldn’t imagine growing up without a husband or kids, but I admired Aunt Carol’s carefree life of travel and always enjoyed her stories.
The inside of the home was what most would consider cluttered, but it was cluttered with nice things. The vintage furniture and antiques that Aunt Carol collected looked like they belonged in museum. Paris was her top favorite place to visit, and she always managed to buy new furniture that she didn’t need. There was a piece of furniture in pretty much every corner of the house, but it still felt comfortable to me. It was obvious that the clutter bothered Mommy, who like her mom, was so used to order and organization in the home. We all knew it was going to be a long three weeks for her. If Aunt Carol noticed Mommy’s discomfort, it didn’t bother her. She moved around the house as if it were a maze she conquered day after day with her chubby cat, Whiskers, on her heels. She talked non-stop as she moved about the home showing us around and where we would be staying. Shanna and I would not only have to share a room, but a bed as well. I was so enthralled with the vintage bed and other furniture that at the moment it didn’t bother me.
After getting settled, we made our way to Grandma’s place for dinner. I imagined that she didn’t’ cook nearly as much as she did before Grandpa died and to be able to make a big meal would be a treat for her. We hit gridlock immediately once we got on the interstate. After only traveling 5 miles in 20 minutes, we were all pretty annoyed except for Aunt Carol. We were all pretty drained from getting up early to catch the flight, but Aunt Carol was just as chipper as can be, talking a mile a minute. It took a lot to annoy daddy, but as she kept talking, I thought he was going to blow a fuse if Aunt Carol didn’t stop. His left leg had started shaking and he was scratching his nose, which we all knew were classic signs that he was irritated. I felt bad for being amused by the scene. To stifle my giggles, I leaned my head back on the headrest and drifted off to sleep.
I awoke to Shanna nudging me. We had finally arrived at Grandma’s place and it had taken over an hour to get there. Everyone seemed pretty much over it. I hoped we all could pull it together for the sake of the dinner that Grandma had prepared. My hopes were short lived as the look on Grandma’s face showed that our exhaustion and frustration was obvious. In true Grandma Fashion, she mustered up a smile as she hugged us all.
“Well I was beginning to think that you all had gotten lost or stopped off at the KFC instead of coming to dinner.”
We all managed to give a fake giggle in response as Aunt Carol started her usual chatter.
“We hit all sorts of traffic on the interstate. Then there was an accident just off the exit as we were getting on and of course that slowed down traffic even more. I tell you the truth! At one point I was going to suggest we all get out and walk to get here sooner.”
“Well Carol, I do think my beautiful granddaughters would have melted in this heat. I’m certainly glad you all did not have to walk,” Grandma chuckled.
It was good to see them getting off to a cordial start, but I could tell it was driving Grandma crazy that we all had removed our shoes at the front door except Aunt Carol. She was already well into the apartment making herself comfortable in Grandma’s recliner. At an early age, Shanna and I had learned that you never sit in someone’s “big chair.” I almost gasped at the scene. How could she not know this if Grandpa was her brother? Always trying to be the peacekeeper, Daddy intervened.
“Carol, certainly you would be more comfortable over here on the couch. That chair cushion is a little sunken, don’t you think?”
“Oh, I’m fine. It’s actually quite comfy to me.”
“It will be just a few minutes as I reheat the food, so you all make yourselves at home” Grandma said nervously as she watched Aunt Carol adjust and readjust herself in her chair.
Dinner was interesting to say the least. Everyone loved it except Aunt Carol of course. Grandma and Mommy cooked very similar, making as much as possible from scratch. Thus we thoroughly loved the baked chicken, macaroni and cheese, cabbage, and cornbread. Aunt Carol on the other hand, being a person constantly on the go was not used to home cooked meals and much more enjoyed grabbing fast food. She took maybe three bites of her food before moving food around the plate before finally putting her fork down. Grandma had always been confident about her cooking, but it was obvious that she was offended when Aunt Carol would not finish her plate.
“Carol I could make you a sandwich or fix you something else that would be more to your liking.”
There was silence all around as we waited for a response. “Nope, I believe I’m just fine. It’s really a great meal, I’m just not all that hungry is all.”
“Well I think it was delicious as always. I’ll take a second helping if you don’t mind,” interjected Daddy. This brought a smile on Grandma’s face as she quickly arose to fix Daddy a second plate.
After dinner we sat in the living room watching Wheel of Fortune, which was Grandpa’s favorite show. We were enjoying guessing the words, when suddenly during a commercial break Aunt Carol became melancholy as she began to remark about how much she missed her brother. Just that quickly, things went downhill. Aunt Carol then began to cry, which caused Mommy and Grandma to also start crying.
“It’s been a very long day, why don’t we head on back Carol and let Gladys get some rest,” Daddy suggested.
“I am sorry. We were having a good time and I have ruined the evening…it just hits me at the most random moments that I truly miss my brother.”
“Well that is expected Carol. We all miss him and it’s good to get it out at times and get support from the rest of us,” Daddy responded trying his best to give us all a comforting word.
Shanna and I washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen for Grandma before we gave our hugs and loaded back up into the car for the ride back to Aunt Carol’s home. The ride home was much more different. Even Aunt Carol was quiet as she silently cried most of the way home. It was strange to see her this way. Just eight hours earlier she as in her neon pink Capri pants dancing outside the airport welcoming us back to Detroit. I imagined that it was tough losing her sibling and living alone. It meant she never had anyone to express her grief to. I wished that she and Grandma got along so they could be there for each other. Unfortunately, it was like mixing oil and water. I wanted to do more for her to help and make her feel better.
I had hoped that the first night would not be indicative of what the rest of our visit would be like. The first week went smoothly. We visited many different places as a family and sometimes Shanna and I stayed with Grandma and allowed our parents some time alone. Aunt Carol was with us occasionally, but often ventured off to her regular meeting and engagements. We also had a trip planned to Canada that included the whole family. Aunt Michelle and her family were flying in and would also be joining us on the trip. They had initially booked a hotel for their stay, but Aunt Carol would hear nothing of it. She insisted they also stay at her place. To say it was a house full would be a gross understatement. We were not even sure where everyone would sleep, but Aunt Carol loved it, even offering to give up her bedroom. We were all excited about being able to spend time togethe
r for the trip, but we all had to admit that with so many people there, the house was busting at the seams.
∞∞∞
The morning we were to head to Canada was expected to be one of the hottest days of the summer. Daddy, along with my uncle, was up very early to load up our bags to beat the heat, but was still sweating profusely coming back in the house. Unfortunately, we couldn’t all fit in the same car since it was so many of us. Daddy drove Aunt Carol and us in her SUV while Aunt Michelle’s family drove with Grandma in her car. It was a five-hour drive from Detroit to Toronto, Canada. Aunt Carol and Grandpa’s older brother Levi lived with his three children in Toronto. We had plans to have a family lunch and then go to Canada’s Wonderland Amusement Park. Daddy and my uncle were the only adults who agreed to go the amusement park. Everyone else opted to stay at Uncle Levi’s house where it was cool. The kids were all stoked, even Shanna. It had been years since we had a season pass to Carowinds and we missed the thrill of roller coasters.
The family lunch was at Uncle Levi’s house, which was the largest house I had ever been inside. Lunch was catered from a local Italian restaurant and served on their massive backyard patio. Luckily for us, it wasn’t nearly as warm in Toronto as it was in Detroit. Just like Grandpa, Uncle Levi was retired military. He then went on to work for the government for many years before moving to Canada with my late great-Aunt Cynthia. She worked as a lawyer for many years before moving up to working for the district attorney’s office in Detroit. Occasionally, we would see them and their three sons: LJ, Brad, and Anthony when we visited Detroit for the summers and they drove down from Toronto. However, we rarely saw Aunt Cynthia since she had such a crazy work schedule. She had a very close relationship with Aunt Carol though, and frequently traveled with her to different places around the world. Aunt Cynthia’s breast cancer diagnosis hit the family hard. She fought courageously for two years before it spread to other parts of her body. By this time, she had moved to Canada, her favorite place to visit.
We had never been really close with our cousins. LJ and Brad were already in college and Anthony was set to go in the fall. They always seemed to view us as annoying little kids. We were all surprised that they had agreed to come to the amusement park and seemed just as excited as we were. It was mid-afternoon before we set out in two cars to the amusement park. It was much larger than Carowinds and we all made plans to ride every ride in the park. Sanaa stuck to me like glue, which led me to believe she was nervous about riding the rides. However, after the first one, she seemed to loosen up and enjoy her time. There wasn’t enough time to ride all the rides as we planned, but we managed to ride several of them in between stuffing our faces with cotton candy, funnel cakes, and ice cream. We couldn’t convince my uncle to get on any rides with us, but Daddy had ridden almost all of them. It was a day of much needed fun and even though it was completely exhausting, I would have definitely agreed to wake up and do it all again the next day.
We remained in Toronto for the next two days. We took a day trip to Niagara Falls and enjoyed a tour on a jet boat and riding in the aero cars. Aunt Carol had visited the area so often with Aunt Cynthia that we didn’t really need a guide. She was thrilled to lead us around and, though the guide seemed slightly annoyed at how she took over the tour, it made his job relatively easy. The next day was spent shopping and doing site seeing around the city. That evening for our last dinner together, we went to The Black Hoaf, which was Aunt Cynthia’s favorite restaurant in Toronto. Uncle Levi had the private room booked for us and it started out as an enjoyable evening. Aunt Carol was in an exceptionally good mood as she shared stories of her travels with Aunt Cynthia. When the waiter brought out our food things started to go downhill. Aunt Carol was in the middle of a story when she was served her plate and immediately become upset and began to cry.
“Oxtails and scallops,” she started in between sniffles. “This was Cynthia’s favorite meal here. I could never understand why anyone would put these two things together as a meal, but she convinced me to try it and I do believe I’ve come to love it just as much as she did.”
No one quite knew what to say so we just sat there as she began to sob. Finally, Uncle Levi broke the awkward silence. “We all miss her terribly Carol. She was such a remarkable woman. She wouldn’t want us sitting here at her favorite restaurant crying though. So how about we continue to enjoy this evening.”
Aunt Carol stopped crying but didn’t look up or eat her food. She just sat there staring down at her plate. After another awkward silence, Brad tried his hand at lightening the mood. “So who’s been keeping up with Yankees? I think they may do it this year, they just may go all the way.”
“In your dreams kid.” Daddy chimed in. They don’t have what it takes. It will definitely be the Red Sox this year. All the men began to voice their opinions, while the rest of us chuckled at all the trash talking.
As the conversation continued, Aunt Carol began to dig in her purse and pulled out her wallet. As she interrupted the conversation, she put money on the table for her meal. “It’s obvious you all want to go on with life and forget Cynthia even existed. It’s not that easy for me. She was my best friend and I miss her. I don’t want to put a damper on the evening so I will go.”
“That’s crazy Carol,” responded Uncle Levi. “How are you going to get home?”
“I’LL WALK,” she shouted back. I wouldn’t get in the car with any of you at this moment. Especially you Levi! You should have more respect for your deceased wife.”
“I’ll go after her, drive her home.”
LJ hurried out of the restaurant after her while the rest of us sat there in a state of confusion. Her words had stunned Uncle Levi to the point that he didn’t know how to respond. We tried our best to enjoy the rest of the dinner, but there was definitely a looming feeling of sadness and frustration among all of us. It was hard to understand how Aunt Carol’s mood changed so quickly once again. I could over hear Aunt Michelle telling Mommy that her behavior was not normal and that she needed to be seen by a doctor. It was hard for me to fully understand what she meant by her needing to see a doctor. That evening as I prepared for bed, I decided to ask Shanna about it.
“Do you think Aunt Carol is OK?”
“Of course she is. She’s probably planning her next trip to Australia,” joked Shanna.
“I heard Aunt Michelle saying that she needs to see a doctor.”
Shanna laughed at this comment. “Well duh! She should have seen a doctor a long time ago. She’s been crazy all her life.”
“Crazy?”
She laughed even harder. “Yes crazy! Bi-polar, manic-depressive, psycho. Who knows, but she should definitely be on meds.”
I had heard these terms before, but I didn’t really understand them. I did know what crazy meant and Aunt Carol did not fit the profile. Sure she was her own person who loved to talk and dance in public, but that didn’t mean she was crazy. It angered me that Shanna would label her this way just because she was different from the rest of us. For that reason, I decided to end the conversation. The last thing any of us needed was another family argument. We would be leaving Toronto right after breakfast to spend our last week of vacation in Detroit. I hoped that everyone would go easy on Aunt Carol.
Aunt Carol did not join us for breakfast the next morning and only came out when we were ready to leave. As we hugged Uncle Levi and our cousins goodbye, she was already in the car and refused to open the door when requested by Uncle Levi. She was silent on the way home only speaking when asking Daddy to turn the air conditioning down. There were so many times that we all wished Aunt Carol would be quiet so we could ride in peace. When it finally happened it made things uncomfortable. I thought for sure that things would get better once we got back to Detroit, but I was wrong. Aunt Carol gathered her bags and went straight to her room as soon as we got home. We did not see her for the rest of the evening. The next day was Samantha’s birthday and we had a trip planned to a local museum and lunch afterw
ards. Daddy tried relentlessly to get Aunt Carol to come, but she refused to even acknowledge his knocks. I felt bad leaving her. We didn’t even know if she was OK. When I voiced my concerns to Daddy, he ensured me that she was fine, just needed some time alone. I hoped he was right.
We were gone all day and returned to a dark home and Aunt Carol’s vehicle gone. We figured she had finally snapped out of her funk and gotten out of the house until we went inside and found a note on the kitchen table. In the note, Aunt Carol had apologized for her actions in Toronto and asked that we tell everyone else how sorry she was for her behavior. She also stated that she felt it was best she get away for a while to allow us to enjoy our vacation without her constantly ruining things. The note never said where she was going or how long she would be gone. She ended it by saying that she was OK and would be back soon. It didn’t seem to bother anyone else that she had left so suddenly. I felt bad for her though, especially since she felt as though she as ruining our vacation. I started to think that maybe she did need a little help, like help from a counselor to deal with her sadness, but certainly not medication like Shanna suggested.
The last week of vacation went by fast. We all attended Vacation Bible Camp at Grandma’s church. It lasted all day and gave us all the opportunity to meet new people. I met people in my group that I felt like I had been friends with for years. Neither Shanna nor my cousins were in my camp group, but they also made friends within their groups. It would have been nice to meet my friends earlier in the summer since the week went by in what seemed like a blink of the eye. I did however exchange addresses and phone numbers with them both to keep in touch. Aunt Carol’s birthday also fell during our last week in Detroit. We had previously made plans to eat at her favorite restaurant and Grandma had planned to make her a strawberry lemonade cake. Though we had not heard from her since we got back from Toronto, I hoped that she would still show up for her birthday. Grandma apparently had the same hopes as she showed up to the house with the cake in tow. Unfortunately, Aunt Carol did not show up, but we left our cards and gifts for her hoping it would lift her spirits when she returned.
