by Trish D.
The rest of the day was wonderful all the way around. After breakfast, we let Mommy and Aunt Michelle get back to finishing dinner after we cleaned up the mess we made. Daddy and Craig claimed spots on the couch to prepare to watch and talk football. They seemed to take to each other pretty well, particularly over their love of sports. This, of course made Shanna even more gaga over Craig, if that was even possible. The four of us girls also claimed a spot in the living room, but we didn’t pay any attention to the TV or the sports talk around us. Instead, we continued with our girly chatter while Shanna gave each of us new hairstyles. We also gave each other manicures and pedicures since Samantha had declared this as her new talent. I had to admit she was pretty good at it, especially with the different designs she was able to give us all. She and Sanaa had reacted so differently to their parents’ divorce. It didn’t seem to bother Sanaa at all, but it seemed as though Samantha had thrown herself to into many activities and hobbies to keep her busy. It was difficult to tell if either of them was actually sad about the split, but I still wanted to hug them extra hard when I saw them. I just couldn’t imagine my parents splitting up.
It wasn’t long before Mommy and Aunt Michelle were able to take a break once everything was finished cooking. They opted to stay in the kitchen instead of joining us in the living room. Only Daddy protested a little at their isolation from the rest of the family, but they still remained seated at the kitchen table with their eggnog. From the living room, you could hear them deep in conversation with frequent outbursts of laughter. From the outside looking in, I imagined it looked like we were the perfect family because at that moment that is what it felt like. None of us seemed like we could possibly have a care or worry in the world. Even though I knew that it would be short lived, I found myself wishing that we all could keep that sense of peace forever.
Everything about dinner was perfect. The food was everything I expected it to be and somehow Daddy had learned a few jokes that were actually funny. Even Mommy couldn’t help but laugh. The kids cleaned up the kitchen after we ate and we were all so full that we all fell into food comas. I was awakened at Daddy cheering loudly at the TV. Apparently something big had happened in the football game. The yelling woke up Shanna as well, but everyone else was awake doing their own thing. Shanna and I felt it was a great time to dive into the desserts and then decided to start up a game of monopoly. We tried our best to keep it friendly, but it was tough on my end at least to not get frustrated. The game also lasted forever. However, it did end just in time for us to go out for some black Friday shopping. The guys stayed behind not wanting to fight the crowds, but we were able to peer pressure Mommy into coming out with us to brave the crowds.
We went to several stores and by the second 30-minute wait in line just to get into the store, Samantha and Sanaa both were over their first Black Friday experience. The crowds didn’t bother Shanna or me at all. We had been doing it for the last couple of years with Aunt Michelle so we knew what to expect. Mommy usually declined our invites to come out, but seemed to be handling the shoulder-to-shoulder crowds pretty well. I managed to score quite a few deals on things for myself, while Shanna stressed pretty much the whole time over the perfect gift to give to Craig. By the time we reached hour two in Belk’s, I joined my cousins in being completely over the shopping trip. Aunt Michelle was trying to convince Shanna to buy Craig a new watch while everyone else found a seat in the shoe section. I actually dozed off waiting when Mommy woke me up to finally leave. After Belk’s, we decided to finally call it quits and headed home. I was exhausted and more than excited to crawl into bed. As I reached over to turn my lamp off, I noticed a note on the nightstand with Daddy’s handwriting scribbled on it. When I picked it up to get a closer look it read, “Eric called.” I had to read those two words over several times before I believed what it said. I put the note back on the nightstand and as I turned the light off I couldn’t help but smile.
The next day at breakfast, Craig let us know that he would be leaving shortly to go and visit his family. Shanna looked less than thrilled about the news, but had decided to stay in Charlotte. I fought hard to hide it, but I was excited that she was staying. The fact that Eric had went through the effort to find out my home phone number and call had been on my mind all morning. I didn’t know if I should call back or continue to ignore him. I needed advice and I was glad that I was going to be able to finally tell someone what had happened and get some outside input. I figured hearing about my drama would help get Shanna’s mind off Craig for a few hours at least. There were seriously times when I felt like her obsession with him was a bit unhealthy. Surely, I thought, this sister time would be good for both of us. My excitement was short lived unfortunately. By the time I went to take a shower and get dressed, the plan had changed and Shanna was going with Craig to visit his family. She was dressed, packed, and impatiently waiting for me to get dressed so she could tell me bye.
“Well it’s about time! I wasn’t sure if you had drowned in there.” Shanna’s mood had changed drastically since breakfast.
“Oh well I didn’t know you were waiting on me. You’re leaving?” I already knew the answer but I really didn’t know what else to say.
“Yeah, change of plans, I decided to go with Craig and spend some time with his family.”
After hugging the rest of the family she was gone. I did a really good job of hiding how I felt about Shanna leaving with Craig. When they were gone I went back to my room and lay on my bed as the tears began to fall. I didn’t cry because I was sad that she had left, I cried because I was pissed. Why did everything have to be about Craig? I mean she smothered him all day every day and she couldn’t spend just 2 days away from him and with me. My thoughts were admittedly over the top and probably irrational but I was so upset that I allowed myself to believe that she was being selfish and that I had a right to be mad at her. I knew I couldn’t stay in my room all day without everyone else getting suspicious. Once again I found myself having to suck it up and put on a happy face. It didn’t seem fair at all.
“Stupid Shanna!”
The remainder of my visit home was pretty uneventful. Kristen was also home from college in Greensboro so we were able to get together and hang out. I told her about Eric, but not about the recent situation that had led to me currently ignoring him. I didn’t want to mention him at all with all that had happened, but she kept going on and on about a graduate student she had started dating. Apparently, he was the best thing in the city and I didn’t want to seem like a loser by bringing up my situation. I felt pretty annoyed with Kristin. It was exactly like I was out with Shanna who never stopped talking about Craig. Talking about the good times I had with Eric made me miss him once again. That pesky thing called pride was in the way though. I wasn’t even sure if I had the right to be mad at him, but there had to be someone to blame. After spending the day with Kristen I got home to two messages that I had missed another call from Eric and Shanna had also called. I still didn’t feel ready to talk to Eric and I had enough of hearing about Kristen’s new guy, the last thing I needed was to hear Shanna go on about Craig. Instead I made it a movie and ice cream night. My choice for the evening, The Goonies.
I left for school early Sunday morning in hopes of beating the traffic. Everyone seemed to have the same idea as once again I found myself in extremely slow moving traffic. It didn’t seem as bad as it was going, which is probably because I actually opted to listen to music. It helped take my mind off the fact that I was going back to the dorm where I felt so lonely and down about what had happened with April. It was definitely not how I wanted to spend the rest of the semester. I figured my two options were to do whatever it took to find her and make her talk to me about that night or just to let it go. The latter seemed so hard to do since we had formed what seemed to be like a good friendship. However, after spending weeks reaching out to her to no avail, what else was there to do? College was supposed to be the best years of my life. I had to stop wasting it being s
ad and worrying. So there it was, my promise to myself as I sat in stop and go traffic, was to go back with a positive attitude and get back to enjoying college life.
I got back to school in just under five hours which I considered to be pretty good time considering how long it took to get home. I was still in good spirits as I headed to the dorm struggling to carry my bags. I had to pack an extra bag with the new stuff I bought when out shopping and I was determined to not have to come back out in the cold for a second trip to the car. I was walking as fast as I could, concentrate on getting inside to some heat when I heard a voice behind me.
“Hey, you need some help with those bags?” I was so startled that I jumped and dropped one of the bags. When I turned around there stood Eric. Where in the world did he come from and how long had he been waiting on me to get there?
“No, I got it.” I replied trying not to make contact. I just wanted to grab my bag and run up to my room before the conversation went any further. Trying to keep a hold of my other bag and purse caused me to move slowly when trying to bend down to pick up my bag that I dropped. This was just enough time for Eric to swoop in and grab it for me.
“It’s no problem, I got it.”
He swung the bag over his shoulder and made his way to the dorm just ahead of me. I tried to think of a way to avoid the inevitable conversation, but my mind couldn’t think of something clever fast enough. We were silent as we waited for the elevator and then again as we walked to my room. As we walked towards my room, I hoped that Amanda was back and then we wouldn’t have to have this dreaded conversation. No such luck though, the room was just as empty as I had left it. The only noise was the light hum of the refrigerator. Eric stood by the door awkwardly after dropping my bag in front of my closet while I took a seat at my desk. Neither of us knew where to start.
“Well, I finally get to see your room.” Eric was grasping at straws to start some sort of conversation.
“It’s a room.” I dryly responded. I know he was trying but just sitting there that close to him brought back so many feelings of anger towards him.
“I get you don’t want to talk to me, but I don’t really understand why. I’ve been calling you for weeks, even called you at home in Charlotte.”
“You don’t understand why?” I asked in disbelief. How could he not get it?
“No I don’t. What happened in that room wasn’t my fault.” He seemed to be getting upset and very defensive.
I started to laugh not that it was funny, but it was a mechanism to keep from blowing up at him. “You set my friend up with a belligerent drunk. You let us get in the car with him and then you allowed her to be left in a room with this creep who did God knows what to her. Why would you even think setting her up with him was even remotely ok?”
“Whoa! Let’s take a step back here.” Eric took the seat across from me at Amanda’s desk. “First, yes I knew that Daniel was a drinker, but you have to understand I grew up around a family of heavy drinkers. It didn’t seem excessive to me. I’m sorry that I used bad judgment on that.”
Wow! So a family of alcoholics. That was surely news to me. It definitely showed that I didn’t know everything about him. “So you drink like that too?”
“Me? No, I don’t drink at all. I’ve seen alcohol destroy my grandfather, dad, uncle and brother. I stay away from that stuff.”
I couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. I couldn’t even imagine dating someone who acted like Daniel. “April won’t talk to me at all, because of whatever Daniel did to her.”
“I guess she’s embarrassed.” His response shocked me.
“Why would she be embarrassed?”
Eric hesitated before answering. It was like he was telling me something that he didn’t want to tell me. “Daniel got really sick from drinking that night after we left them alone. He says April came on to him really strong and got all crazy when he turned her down.”
“What?” His story seemed so bogus! That didn’t sound like April at all. “You believe that?”
“There was a ton of other people there Cheryl. A bunch of them rushed in the room thinking he was doing something to her, when in actuality it was the other way around. She freaked out on them when they pulled her off of him.”
I didn’t know what to think. Was April really avoiding me out of embarrassment? Or was there another explanation? I wanted to give April the benefit of the doubt, but with multiple people backing Daniel’s story and with her disappearing act, I had to consider that it could be the truth. I felt pretty bad that I had cut Eric off over something that wasn’t his fault. He was right that he had used poor judgment in letting us be in the car with someone who was drinking. It was obvious he agreed that I had a right to be upset with him over that, but he truly had no control over what had happened in the room with Daniel and April. I kinda felt like I owed him an apology for bringing over my overly aggressive friend. It was a lot to take in but I was certainly glad that we had finally talked about things.
“So what now?” It may have come across as a little rude, but we were just sitting there in silence and it just seemed so awkward.
“Great question. I know I haven’t had dinner yet and I was thinking about going to get some seafood if you’re interested?”
Eric and I had dinner that evening at Carabbas and picked up right where we had left off. After dinner he invited me over to his suite to watch a movie but I declined telling him that I needed to get unpacked and ready for classes the next day. The truth was that the thought of seeing or being around Daniel again was not at all appealing to me. Thankfully he didn’t push the idea. I kept a goofy grin on my face the whole time that I was unpacking my clothes. It made me feel like Shanna to be walking around giddy and smiling over a guy, but at that point I didn’t care. When I was settled in and laying down watching TV, the phone rang and I instantly knew who it was. Still, my heart jumped when I heard his voice. We stayed on the phone for I don’t know how long talking, and when I was so tired that I couldn’t keep my eyes open, I still didn’t want to end the conversation. I wasn’t sure when the conversation ended since I woke up to Amanda tapping me to tell me that I was sleeping with the phone off the hook on my ear. The TV was still on and when I looked at the clock it was ten minutes before the alarm was to go off. Amanda, who was just getting back to campus, found the whole scene hilarious. I was embarrassed.
∞∞∞
The remaining weeks of the semester seemed to fly by. Eric and I fell right back into our routine. I still thought of April often, wondering how she was doing, but no longer tried to contact her. We no longer discussed Daniel, April, or the events of that night. I think we both felt it was best to leave that night in past. The week of exams was stressful for us both. Mainly it bothered me that I would be home for almost a month and wouldn’t be able to see him. Ugh, I hated that I sounded like Shanna. The night before we were both leaving to go home was the first time during exam madness that we were able to spend a significant amount of time together. Things were going great as we watched TV and had a ‘’friendly” game of scrabble going on when Daniel walked in. Not only was he carrying a brown paper bag of liquor, but he also had a six-pack of Corona.
“Hey, what’s up?” He greeted us as he walked in.
“Hey.” Eric and I responded almost simultaneously.
Daniel seemed to have no problem making eye contact with me and speaking, which to me showed that he had no guilt surrounding that night. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a certain way about him. Because of him April didn’t want anything else to do with me.
“You guys want a beer or some of this vodka? I have more than enough to go around.” Daniel asked over his shoulder as he filled a cup up with ice and juice.
We both declined. It was just sickening to me that he drank so much at a young age. I also couldn’t understand how Eric was able to stand being around someone who drank so much after how alcohol had destroyed his family. It had only been recently that he had opened up abou
t how alcohol had affected his family. His grandfather and uncle had died of alcohol induced cirrhosis of liver, his dad did multiple jail stints for driving under the influence and his brother was following right in his footsteps. Eric had done really well not falling into the same pattern. He wanted to be the one person that didn’t let his mom down. Go figure he would end up with a roommate who drank like a fish. I knew constantly having it around him didn’t make it easy. I hoped he was able to stay strong.
By the second day home, I was bored out of my mind. There were two weeks left before Christmas so Daddy still had to work and Shanna was not coming home until right before Christmas day. I asked her to come home earlier but she claimed that she still had schoolwork to finish up. I was smart enough to know that she was really trying to spend every minute she could with Craig, who would be spending the whole break in Florida with his family. Daddy suggested I go back to working at the daycare or for Tim, which did not seem appealing at all. What started out as a suggestion was an order by the end of the week. Both Mommy and Daddy were tired of seeing me sitting around the house and as much as I didn’t want to be back on my feet all day serving ice cream, I knew I had to do something. Reluctantly, I called Tim and he welcomed me to start back the next day. They were short staffed and were getting slammed pretty hard with the mall being so busy. He also said that I could work as many hours as I wanted. I knew I would be grateful for the extra money but I was still not totally happy about dealing with the crowds.
I opted for an early shift figuring that it would be pretty dead at 8am when I first went in and gradually get busy. I thought I would be able to build up to it instead of walking into the mid-day madness. While I was gone, Tim had expanded the breakfast options from just coffee and muffins to a variety of breakfast sandwiches. Therefore, those who didn’t want to wait in the excessively long lines at Chic-Fil-a came over to us. Most of the department stores were opening early and it brought in quite a crowd as well. By lunchtime, we were completely slammed. We had three people on the registers, two cooking sandwiches, and Tim helping with both and it still wasn’t enough. I was only halfway through my shift and already regretting my decision to come in and work. I was exhausted and the crowd just wasn’t letting up. When it was finally time for me to leave, it had to be evident that I had had enough. Tim thanked me graciously for coming in and told me that he hoped I would come in the next day after church. I wanted to yell “no” and run out the back door, but I knew he really needed help and agreed to the shift. It didn’t hurt that he mentioned holiday bonuses that he would be giving out soon. As I walked out the door I told him, “These bonuses better be good!”
