I’m sure an old veteran would be able to find the barracks without help but I didn’t say anything. Marc and Dorian were heading for the stairs. They were giving me glances which I figured meant they planned to grill me back in my rooms. I rose to follow them but my father stopped me. “I need to talk to you for a minute son,” he said.
I told Dorian I’d be along in a little while and turned to give him my attention. I had little doubt what he wanted to talk about. I steeled myself, disappointing him had always been my worst fear. He gave me a thoughtful look but didn’t say anything. He had a talent for talking without words. After a long silence he finally spoke, “Well?”
“Well what?” I replied. I felt like a rebellious teenager again, which was odd since I had never really had a rebellious stage. I imagined if I were a teenager and rebellious, this was probably what it would feel like.
“What do I tell your mother?” he asked.
“Why isn’t she here anyway?”
“Because you didn’t bother to stop on your way in and tell her you were back. You’re lucky I was here or I’d still be thinking you were in the capital too,” his words were a rebuke.
“Sorry I didn’t think. I’ve had a lot on my mind lately. I’ll come by in the morning and see her,” he already had me apologizing. I never understood how that happened.
“What’s going on with you and Penny?”
“I don’t really understand it myself Dad. She lied to me about this bond...,” I gave him a little background. I don’t think he had ever really understood exactly what an Anath’Meridum was before. I also told him about the voices and the stone lady. Before long I was stumbling over my words. It was hard to talk about my emotions. They all seemed so petty when I put them into words before him.
I couldn’t tell him about her vision. So I also had to leave out my reasons for wanting to break the bond. Avoiding those things I wound up talking mostly about my experience with the voices, or the onset of madness as everyone else had felt it was.
He listened without comment, until I had run out of things to say, and then he waited a while longer. I began to wonder if he would say anything at all when he finally spoke, “I’m not going to tell you what to do about the girl. You’ll have to figure that out for yourself, although I’m sure your mother will have a lot to say about it,” he chuckled. “About these voices though... what were they like?”
I described them, as best I could. For the most part they had been wordless experiences, almost like an extension of my senses, except for the stone-lady. Her voice had been as clear as my father’s. I told him about her appearance at the bonding ceremony.
“I don’t know much about wizards or magic, but I do know a thing or two about the earth,” he held up his rough calloused hands. “I’ve worked with iron for most of my life. Most men think it to be hard and unyielding, and it is... if you treat it like something to be shaped on a whim. Iron takes patience and strength of will. You have to plan and think... it won’t give itself over to be shaped by pure force. No matter how strong you are.”
As deliberate as he usually seemed, I couldn’t see how this had anything to do with my experiences, “Dad listen I don’t think...”
“Let me finish! Iron is a gift of the earth. What I just said is true of blacksmiths, but it’s also true for stone masons and even woodworkers. They’re all gifts from the earth. I don’t know much about the gods but I know a bit about the earth. You can trust it. If you’re sure it was the earth you were hearing,” he finished.
My own feelings had been similar to what he was telling me but I had been too uncertain to voice them. Everyone had been so certain I was going mad and the stone-lady had only made it worse. “What do you think about the stone-lady?” I asked.
“Hell I’ve never understood your mother, much less any other woman. I’d be careful if I were you,” he replied.
I laughed, “Thanks Dad.” I gave him an awkward hug. He never had been very comfortable with overt displays of affection.
I turned to go but he had one more thing to say, “Mordecai.”
“Yeah?”
“Don’t be too hard on the girl. You’re a fool if you let her go over this, life’s too short.” He didn’t wait for me to answer, just headed for the door.
I stared at the doorway to the great hall for a long minute after he had left. “If only it were that easy Dad.” Finally I turned and headed for my rooms. I was expecting another long conversation once Dorian got me alone.
Chapter 19
The carpenters and masons had been busy while I was away but much of the interior of the castle was still unfinished. Today that was notable in the fact that my new reception chamber, while completed, still didn’t have a table. Instead we gathered at the high table in the feast hall after breakfast was done.
The conversation started with a much more subdued babbling than the day before. My father had been correct; a good night’s sleep had given everyone a chance to put their thoughts in order. Now we just needed to figure out how to put the county in order. “If everyone will stop talking for a moment I’d like to start our first planning session,” I had to speak loudly to get their attention. It wasn’t in my nature to run meetings, but I figured as the new Count di’Cameron I’d better get used to it.
Everyone went silent and I looked down the table. On one side sat Dorian, Marcus and my father, on the other Penny, Cyhan and Joe McDaniel. I had included Joe since he had become Dorian’s second hand man in running the town militia and since they were our only ‘military’ force at present I thought he ought to be in on the planning. In all honesty the only person at the table with any real standing was Dorian. He had already agreed to stay on permanently as my seneschal in Cameron Castle and handle my garrison (when I had one) and other such security concerns.
The others were there for less official reasons. Cyhan as an advisor obviously, and Marcus too, since he knew much more about the workings of the aristocratic world than I did. Penny was there... well I wasn’t sure what reason I could point to... but even now I wouldn’t think of leaving her out of something so important.
“As a wise friend once told me, let’s start by first cataloguing what we have. Then we’ll consider what sort of force we will be facing in the spring. Once we have those two things spelled out as clearly as possible we’ll see what can be done between now and then to solve our problem,” I stated and then I looked over at Joe, “Mister McDaniel, how many able men do we have in the militia presently?”
Joe coughed to hide his nervousness, “Begging your pardon your lordship, we have thirty two men left in the Washbrook militia. We lost two during the recent attack by the shiggreth.”
“No need to be so formal Joe. Understand I was raised a common man, I’m not quite used to titles yet. When we’re alone like this please call me Mordecai… or sir if you must,” I told him.
“Yes sir, no problem,” he answered.
“Dorian how many men can James Lancaster put in the field?”
Dorian’s brow furrowed in concentration, “Well... I’m not really certain.”
“A rough guess is all we really need,” I assured him.
“A little over a hundred trained men at arms I think, and maybe a hundred more when he calls for his levies,” Dorian replied. “But that’s a very rough estimate.”
“Do you have any idea what Baron Arundel might be able to bring to the table?” I asked.
“No more than thirty men at arms, perhaps close to a hundred if you include his peasant levies,” Dorian supplied. “I don’t know the man that well though. That’s based purely on what my father told me a few years ago.”
“He doesn’t have a castle if I remember correctly... is that right?”
“It’s more of a fortified manor. There’s no room for his people if he’s besieged, not that it would stand any sort of organized assault,” Marcus put in.
I thought for a moment. Cameron Castle was very nearly the same size as Lancaster Castle, desp
ite the smaller size of my lands. Gododdin’s army would have to pass through my lands before reaching Lancaster. “I think we should consider using this castle as our first strongpoint. If we fail here we can withdraw to Lancaster. The enemy would be foolish to bypass us and leave us behind them.”
Cyhan spoke up, “They will have a considerably larger force than ours. If they assault us here we will probably be encircled, a successful withdrawal will be unlikely.”
“If we withdraw to Lancaster at the start James will be overwhelmed with too many mouths to feed and shelter. The enemy will gain an excellent staging area, and Lancaster will be encircled just the same. If they lay siege to us there our combined forces and civilians will be easily starved out,” I responded.
The large man’s eyes focused on me for a moment. Until then I suspect he had seen me as no more than a stubborn peasant suddenly thrown into politics. I couldn’t really blame him though; he had had no evidence to suggest otherwise. “That is true, but either way we face a crushing defeat. The only difference is in the time and place. In one we die more slowly as he isolates us from our allies, in the other he will be able to starve us out more quickly.”
“How many men do you think Vendraccus will be able to field?” I asked.
Marcus and Dorian both shrugged but Cyhan spoke again, “If history is any example it will be over ten thousand men. In the last war between Lothion and Gododdin, King Gelleron brought nearly twenty thousand against us.”
“But Lothion won that war didn’t it?”
Marcus answered first, “Barely, they smashed and burned their way almost to the capital itself before they were stopped.”
I had paid little heed to our history lessons when we were younger and I regretted it now, “That war was over a hundred years ago. What happened to Lancaster then?”
“To put it succinctly,” Marc responded, “my great great grandfather spent the next twenty years rebuilding Lancaster and Cameron took even longer.”
“As much as I’ve enjoyed rebuilding this castle, the idea of rebuilding the entire county is even less pleasing,” I mused out loud.
“You really don’t have a choice,” Cyhan stated bluntly. “There aren’t that many people in your entire county anyway. You should pull out and join the king’s forces.”
“And lose everything? Just give it to them?” I asked.
“Not everything, you’ll still have your lives. If you stay you won’t be around to rebuild, nor will any of your people,” he countered.
“There is a third option,” Penny said. It was the first time she had spoken and everyone’s eyes turned to her. “You could capitulate. Put up a token resistance and surrender when he encircles the castle. If we’re lucky Vendraccus might leave you your lands and move on with his campaign.”
That started an uproar as everyone began arguing at once.
“I’m not suggesting we actually do that!” she had to shout to be heard, “I just thought we should be clear on all of our options, even if some of them are distasteful.”
“She is correct about that,” Cyhan added and she gave him a look of gratitude. My chest tightened at her expression.
“I am not willing to consider that as an option,” I said forcefully. “I would rather die first.” I met Penny’s eyes as I said it. We hadn’t looked directly at one another in almost two days now, and I wondered what I would find.
She showed no sign of worry on my account, instead I saw disgust written plainly on her face. “What of the women and children, what is their choice? Will they die for your honor too?”
I could feel my face turning red, “I was thinking we would send them to Lancaster. We could house his troops here and concentrate most of the civilians there.”
I saw her nostrils flare as her breathing quickened. “How many more widows will you create before you’re satisfied?” she challenged.
My temper snapped, “I can think of at least one woman who won’t be a widow!” I was standing now, shouting across the table at her. I don’t think I had ever been so angry before.
“I’d rather be dead than be your widow!” Penny yelled knocking her chair back as she stood up. She was leaning toward me, her hands gripping the table.
“You will be dead if you don’t undo this ridiculous bond!”
“I’d just as soon beat you to death first! Then we’ll both be free of it!” She was gripping the wood so tightly that the edge of the table broke away under her hands. For a moment it seemed she might try to carry out her threat then and there.
“Dammit calm down!” my father said. “The two of you are fighting like cats and dogs. We’re here to make decisions, not bicker.” Looking down the table I could see everyone agreed with him on that point, though none of the others wanted to get in the middle of our fight.
I took a deep breath, “Fine. You’re right. Let’s adjourn for a while. We can resume after some of us have had a chance for our tempers to cool.” I gave Penny a stern look.
“A break would probably be good,” said Joe, relieved that the tension was easing up.
“For us maybe,” said my father, “these two need to sort out their differences... in private.”
“Now hold on, I’ve got nothing to say...” I started but Penny cut me off.
“Damn right you don’t, coward! You’d rather put families’ lives at stake than take a rational approach to anything,” she declared.
“I have to agree with Royce,” Marcus stood and took everyone in with his eyes. “I think these two need to spend some time alone. Once they’ve sorted themselves out we can see about the rest of this.”
Everyone else began agreeing quickly. A consensus was rapidly reached; Penny and I would be forced to spend the next hour alone. They forced us to retreat to my rooms, “If either of you comes out of there still arguing we’ll lock you both in till you see sense,” my father added.
“What kind of stupid idea is this?” I said as they herded us in through the door.
“Your mother’s, ya fool. I was talking to her last night when she mentioned it,” Royce growled back at me. I believed him; in my mind I could imagine her saying something like that. He shut the door in my face before I could reply.
Trapped I looked around, Penny stood at the other side of the room with her back toward me. A dark sense of foreboding came over me. It was entirely possibly I wouldn’t make it out alive. Perhaps I was being overly dramatic, but that’s how it felt. I walked over and took a seat on the divan. I figured she probably wouldn’t attack me outright if I was sitting down.
The next ten minutes passed in tense silence, before she spoke, “This is stupid. We should just tell them we made up so we can get them to let us out.”
“Sounds like a fine idea to me,” I heartily agreed.
“Of course you would think so. It’s easier than actually trying to talk to me isn’t it?” she said bitterly.
“It would be easier if you weren’t so angry all the time,” I shot back.
“That’s not true. You were the one who snapped on the trip back. You didn’t even give me an opportunity. Just up and cut me off... throwing that stupid ring at me!” she replied.
“I never lied to you Penny. How would you react?”
“Better than that… life happens Mordecai, and people have to work it out. You didn’t even try? Do you think people are perfect, like in one of those story books you used to read?” I could sense a speech coming on. She had always been fond of listening to herself talk, I thought to myself angrily.
“I know better than that Penelope. I just expected honesty from you. Is that so much to ask?”
“And what would you have done if I had told you everything? What other choice could you have made? This is just your excuse. It was a shitty situation but you want someone else to blame. I won’t be your scapegoat.” She was still angry but at least she wasn’t shouting any longer.
“At least I would have had a choice, a real choice. One based on facts, rather than being spoon fed
the information you thought would be good for me, like a child,” I retorted.
“And what else could you have chosen? Do you think a thousand years’ worth of wizards are wrong? Would you rather risk madness, just for your stubborn pride?” she answered pointedly.
“Maybe I would have. I still don’t believe I was going mad. If I had had a little more time I might have been able to figure things out,” I said earnestly.
“You wouldn’t Mort. No one has, not in a thousand years. Cyhan told me about the Sundering. The wizards of that time were the greatest the world has ever seen, and they chose this! You’re letting your fear blind you to reason.” She had stepped closer as she said this and now we were only a few feet apart. “Admit it! Your real reason isn’t that you think the bond is wrong, the real reason is you don’t want me to die with you.”
“No!” I said vehemently, but then I amended my statement. “Yes and no, I don’t want you to die, but I think there is more here than we realize. Just because everyone says something doesn’t make it true. I know what I felt! I wasn’t going mad. I needed to adjust.”
“You pompous... stupid... jackass,” she replied quietly. “Cyhan was right about you.”
That got me. Just when I thought I might be able to reason with her she had to bring him into it. Jealousy reared up within me like a demon, “So your boyfriend told you I was crazy and you’d rather believe him than trust me?!”
“Boyfriend?” her eyes were wide with surprised innocence, for some reason that only made me madder.
“Yes your boyfriend... you deranged trollop!” The insult was so ridiculous I almost winced as I said it, but I could think of nothing better.
Her hand caught me squarely across the cheek. It would have been a stinging slap but I still had my shield up. Instead I wound up staggered at the force of the blow. Penelope had stopped moving, her hand held motionless in the air where she had struck me. Tears were starting from her eyes. “Take it back,” she said quietly.
“Which part?” I asked dumbly. Stupid never dies.
“All of it... take it back,” she repeated. The look on her face had me doubting myself suddenly. Anger I could deal with, but now her expression held such anguish I felt ashamed. I had had no idea my words could wound her so deeply.
The Line of Illeniel Page 20
