“Six hundred,” I repeated. It seemed a pitifully small number to face an army that would almost certainly exceed ten or twenty thousand. “It’s time to move the women and children to Lancaster,” I added.
Dorian nodded, we had discussed all this before. Everyone not expected to fight would be moved there, furthest from the conflict. If things went badly here as many as could make it would fall back there as well, I had built a larger circle to allow me to transport twenty people at a time to Lancaster, more if they were friendly enough to squeeze together.
From Lancaster I had prepared a second escape, assuming I was alive to use it. It would take them to a location fifteen miles down the road leading to the capital. If I were dead Marc could use it to get them there, he had already demonstrated that with the help of his goddess he could activate it. I hoped it was far enough to keep them ahead of the invaders but I would probably not be there to know.
I went to talk to Penny. I had something important to tell her, before things got out of hand. I found her in the yard, exercising with Cyhan. “We need to talk,” I started simply.
“Can it wait? I’m almost finished here,” she inquired.
“No, I don’t think it can,” I replied somberly.
She caught the look in my eyes. This was a conversation I had been holding back for months. I feared the consequences if she read too deeply into my thoughts. “Alright,” she answered. “Here… or do we need to go somewhere private?”
“Private.”
We went up on the walls since they were close by. The view from there was breathtaking, overlooking the partially forested field leading from Cameron Castle to the valley road. A cool wind tossed the tops of the trees to and fro as we watched. “So what is it?” she asked.
“Have you felt any changes in yourself lately?” I asked. I thought she might be more accepting if I asked for her input first.
“No... Why? I’m getting better, according to Cyhan, but that’s to be expected.”
“I mean... other things,” I glanced downward, staring pointedly at her belly. Unfortunately her stomach was uncommonly flat and hard, a result of her extended exercise and training. For the first time ever I wished she might have gotten a little fatter.
“What are you saying?” she said.
“A few nights ago... while you were sleeping, I felt something. I wasn’t sure at first...,” I shrugged my shoulders.
“Are you trying to tell me I’m pregnant? Do I look pregnant to you?” her face registered disbelief.
“I think it’s very early, I’m not sure. I’ve never felt something like this before, but I could feel it in your womb last night,” I let the fear show on my face.
“You have got to be kidding me,” she said. “You honestly think I’m pregnant?”
“Yes,” I said plainly.
“You’re making it up,” she replied, but I could see uncertainty in her face.
“No... I wish I were. This is no time for having children.”
“What makes you so sure?” she asked suspiciously.
“I could feel the heartbeat... a second heartbeat Penny. I’m very sure,” I put as much sincerity in my voice as I could muster, everything rested on her response.
Her face was awash with warring emotions, till at last I could see a resolve forming. “You’re lying. You want me to agree to break the bond.”
“No! Penny! That’s true, but that’s not what I’m trying to do. I’m telling you the truth, you’re carrying our unborn child, this isn’t just about you and me anymore,” I told her. I stared at her with a certainty I didn’t feel. Then I drew on the image of my father dying, using his memory to bring tears to my eyes. “You have to believe me Penny, I wouldn’t lie about this,” I lied, letting the tears roll down my face. In one small part of my mind I couldn’t help but feel proud of my acting, but despite the deception, my emotions were real.
She began shaking her head in denial, “No, no! You’re lying! This can’t be true, I would have seen it. I always have visions about important things, why wouldn’t I have seen this?!”
“Think about it Penny. Have you had a single vision since we formed the bond? You haven’t, have you? The bond is the reason. It blocks your vision just as it blocks the voices I heard. If you don’t believe me, ask Marc. Surely his goddess will know the truth of it,” I said.
She looked me squarely in the eye, “He would lie for you.”
“He would, but he won’t lie about what his goddess tells him... he can’t. He’s told me so before. Ask him!” My lies were growing larger with every breath. I hadn’t spoken to him about helping me deceive her, but I had to trust he would know what to do. Some things were more important than the truth.
“Alright,” she said. “I will.” She started for the stairs leading down to the ground. As I followed her she turned, “You stay here. I don’t want you giving him hints. If what you say is true he’ll either confirm it or not on his own.”
Fear gripped my heart, but I hid it quickly. “Very well, I’ll wait here for you.”
“You don’t have to do that. I’ll find you later. Whatever he tells me I’ll need time to think,” and with that she left. I stared into the distance for some time after, wondering what he would say. Marc was the best liar I had ever met, bar none, but since his calling he had changed. Even though he had given me the idea I wasn’t sure he would help. The Lady of the Evening Star had strict rules regarding lying, and there was nothing false about his new devotion.
***
She said nothing to me at dinner that evening. The great hall was a good deal quieter now. Almost all of the women and children were already gone. I had spent the better part of the afternoon transporting them to Lancaster, one group after another. We had plenty of time still, so they could have traveled on foot, but I wanted them to get used to the idea. Some took quite a bit of convincing as it was. It was better to make sure they trusted it now than wait until we were pressed for time.
As a result of my efforts I was exhausted by the time I had my meal. Not only had I taken several hundred women and children to Lancaster, I had also returned with the majority of the fighting men that had been living there. Lancaster was now populated almost entirely by women and their dependents, plus the few elderly that had been in Washbrook. Genevieve and Rose were with them, keeping order, though Rose had raised some objections.
I sat at the head of the high table with Penny on my right hand. James Lancaster sat to my left, in the seat that had once been my father’s place. The sight of his empty chair had given me trouble for some time and I was grateful to have him filling it. Dorian and Marc each sat in the chairs beside Penny and James. I carefully avoided looking at Marc for fear of revealing my lie. I was sure she had already spoken to him, but she hadn’t told me his response. My instincts told me it was better not to ask.
“We’re a cheerful bunch this evening,” James announced suddenly, breaking the silence. “I haven’t seen so many dark faces since... hmm.” He rubbed his chin. “As a matter of fact I have never seen so many dark faces. We need to cheer up. Dorian! You first... did anything interesting happen for you today?”
Dorian grunted, “Williams fell on his ass during drill today. Clumsiest man I ever saw, he’ll kill himself before the enemy has a chance.” I had no idea who he was talking about, but it wasn’t very funny. Dorian had a talent for making the funniest of stories a bit dry and flat.
James gave a polite laugh, “How about you Marcus?” His son was his best hope. Marc had a way with stories.
“Actually yes! But I can’t tell you,” he announced sadly.
“Why not!?” James protested.
“It’s a matter of confidence, between man and goddess. I will say that some folks have issues with parts that you would never expect!” There was a twinkle in his eye as he spoke, leaving little doubt what parts he was referring to.
That got a better laugh from all of us, so James looked across to Penny. “How about you my dear? Did a
nything interesting happen to you today?”
Penelope looked like a deer caught in a trap. She gazed at him seriously for a moment before glancing at Marc and then back to me. Her mouth opened and she started to speak, but her lip was trembling. I could see her eyes watering before she said, “I’m sorry you’ll have excuse me.” Quickly she rose and walked quickly to the door leading to the stairs.
James seemed apologetic, “What was that? Was it something I said?”
Marc gave put an arm on his shoulder, “No father, it wasn’t you. She has a lot on her mind today.” He gave me a meaningful look.
“I’d better go check on her,” I announced and stood up to leave. Marc rose and caught up to me before I reached the door.
“I told her what she needed to hear,” he whispered in my ear.
“Really? Thank you! I... I don’t know what to say. It couldn’t have been easy for you.” I embraced him roughly. “Thank you. No matter what... you’ll always be my best friend.”
He shook his head at me and let me go. As I headed for the stairs I heard him say something else, but I couldn’t quite catch his words, he spoke too softly. I almost thought he said, “I only told her the truth,” but that wouldn’t have made sense.
***
I found Penny in our bedroom, curled into a tight knot and clutching one of the pillows. She had been crying into it. The sheets were a mess and half of them were on the floor. She made no move as I entered the room, though I knew she heard me come in.
“You talked to Marc didn’t you?” I asked as I sat beside her on the bed.
She didn’t respond, other than to shake her head in what I thought might be a yes. Her hair was a mess. It had been up in a tight bun, but now it was a tangled knot of hair. It looked as though she had tried to pull it loose and given up mid-way through.
“I was right wasn’t I?” I said quietly.
She clutched the pillow tighter for a moment, before responding, “Yes.” I stayed silent. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I held my tongue until she continued, “Are you happy now?” It was as much an accusation as a question.
“Actually yes,” I said quietly.
She turned her head to glare at me, “You bastard! This is what you wanted all along!”
“No,” I lied again, “but I’m happy that we’re going to have a child. I love you Penny, and I had always hoped we would have children someday.” Another lie, I had never given it a thought. My idea of happily ever after had never been more complicated than an extended erotic fantasy involving the woman I loved more dearly than my own life. Thinking of children now though, I could see the attraction. I believed she would be a wonderful mother, and the thought of becoming a father brought tears to my eyes. My own father would never see his grandchildren. For that matter I would never see them either, not that any would ever truly exist. I hoped that she would go on someday, to have children without me, but the thought gave me even more pain.
“They would have been beautiful,” she said in a sorrowful voice.
“One of them still will be,” I reminded her.
“No Mort, I can’t do this. It’s too much. I won’t leave you,” she replied.
“You don’t have to,” I told her, “just stay with me till the end. When the time is close... then we’ll do it. You can stay with me until it’s over.”
A small hope blossomed in her face, “Promise me. Promise you won’t force me to leave you.”
“I wouldn’t do that Penny. I already told you,” I answered.
“Promise me! Do that and I’ll agree to break the bond as soon as the time is near, but you have to promise,” she said desperately. It broke my heart to see her beg.
“Well of course I will Penny...” I started.
“No... Swear it! Right now. I don’t want any half-empty reassurances. Swear.” She gripped my shoulders fiercely.
“I swear it Penelope Cooper. I will not cast you aside, nor will I leave you alone, not until death takes the choice from me. I swear it on my love, and the life of our unborn child,” I stared deep into her eyes as I spoke and I meant every word, though I knew there was no child in her womb. I would not betray her trust any further.
She nodded sharply and kissed me, her lips lingering against my own. “Will you marry me Mordecai?”
That surprised me. “I already asked you to marry me,” I replied.
“No, I mean now. Right now. There won’t be any later, not for you. Marry me now, I don’t want to wait any longer,” she was emphatic.
Wait for what? I thought to myself. We hadn’t exactly been saving ourselves. In fact we’d been very enthusiastically not saving ourselves for several months now. Women are a mystery to me sometimes. I had learned enough to keep from saying something stupid however, “Alright, let’s do it.”
She bounced up from the bed with more energy than I had seen from her in months, outside of her training sessions with Cyhan and Dorian. She began tearing through the wardrobe, “This is terrible Mort!”
“What?” I was mystified.
She gave me a look filled with horror, “What am I going to wear?!”
I swear, as long as I live, however short that may be, I will never, ever, understand women.
Chapter 33
The ceremony was held the next evening, in the small unfinished chapel of Cameron Castle. There on the eve of our war with Gododdin, we gathered for one of humanity’s oldest rituals, an affirmation of life and joy. It was a moment of defiance in the face of certain sorrow.
Marc agreed to perform the ceremony, although I had certain misgivings about that. I kept my opinion to myself. Since he was otherwise occupied Dorian played the part of best man. That worked well for me anyway, I would have had trouble choosing between them.
There weren’t many guests. James was there, as well as my mother and Penny’s father. Cyhan also attended, along with Joe McDaniel and a small collection of Washbrook’s citizens. Honestly I was grateful for the small attendance. The wedding we had originally planned, almost a year ago, would have involved a huge guest list. Escaping the pomp and circumstance of such a large wedding was a small blessing in itself.
I waited at the altar while Patrick Cooper walked his daughter down the aisle. With a start I realized Lady Rose would be missing the performance. I was sure there would be hell to pay for that later.
The ceremony itself was a blur. I would later wonder what had happened, for the first part I could remember was the final vows. Marc was staring at me for a while before I realized I was supposed to be repeating his words. My face turned red with embarrassment as he started again, this time I repeated them perfectly. In the end all I could recall were the final “I do’s.”
I found myself staring into Penelope’s blue eyes. She hadn’t had a wedding dress so she wore a beautiful yellow dress that Rose had helped choose for her long ago. Someone had helped to braid her hair into a delicately coiffed design, but all I could see were her lovely eyes and lips. Marc said something, but I failed to understand him.
“I said... you may kiss the bride,” he repeated more firmly. I could hear some quiet chuckles from the guests.
“Oh!” I said stupidly, and then I did. Cheers and clapping broke out, but I hardly noticed. I guess weddings aren’t so bad after all, I thought to myself.
A short while later we were enjoying food and what ale Joe could find. He could be quite resourceful when he chose to be. I guess it came from running a tavern. Dorian was well into his cups before the party had even begun. Marc was not far behind him, and both were trying to convince me to match them, mug for mug.
“C’mon Mort! Drink up! It’s not every day you get married!” Dorian admonished me.
“You don’t want to be the only sober one here do you?” Marc added.
“Well, who knows what we’ll be facing tomorrow...” I vacillated. I was truly torn by my desire to drink and my responsibilities.
“Ahem!” said Penelope loudly. “In case you’ve forgotten this is his wed
ding night,” she told them.
“Well why don’t we go upstairs now my love,” I told her gamely. “We can get that out of the way and then return to enjoy the evening.”
Penny wasn’t having any of it. “I don’t think you understand. Remember that night in Albamarl, after our fight?” she reminded me.
“Yes,” I said uncertainly.
“That was nothing. You’ll be begging for mercy long before morning,” she replied, arching her brow. “Save your strength soldier.”
I looked at my friends gravely, “Perhaps I should excuse myself gentlemen. I believe duty calls.”
They gave each other serious looks before raising their mugs once again. “To the dearly departed!” Marc announced.
I laughed and followed Penny to the stairs. My ordeal had just begun, but as a poet once said, ‘when a woman has made up her mind all any man can do is go along.’ I went along, and quite willingly I might add. In the days to come I would never have such a night again, nor do I think I could have survived one, but I never regretted it. All the joy and excitement of our youth was in it, and when the night was done I grieved for the loss. I would never have such a night again.
***
Dawn came, with her usual penchant for prematurity. The morning sun stabbed into my eyes, reminding me of the urgencies of the day. I groaned and pulled a pillow over my face. A knock came at the door, and my hopes of a late morning shattered. I sat up, rubbing my eyes, and Penny grabbed my arm. “Ignore it,” she told me.
That sounded just fine to me and I fell back into the bed. Unfortunately the knock continued, with increasing insistence. Whoever it was really, really, wanted my attention. With a loud sigh I rose from the bed.
A young man stood in the doorway, looking uncomfortable. “The scouts report that the enemy is entering the valley, your excellency,” he informed me hurriedly. I didn’t recognize him, but I was sorely tempted to tell him to come back a few hours later.
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