by Pamela Wells
“Mom!”
“Oh, sorry.” Mom gave an apologetic shrug. “I just think it’s cute.”
The little girl let go of her mother’s hand and crossed her arms over her chest. “I do not have a crush.”
“I wouldn’t blame you if you did,” Raven said, grabbing the girl’s hand to give her a stamp. “I think Horace is a pretty great guy.”
The girl looked away sheepishly. “Yeah. He is cool. How do you know him?”
Raven wanted to say she was singing with the band, but she didn’t want to jinx it, or worse, have it get back to her mother somehow. Instead, she settled on, “He’s a good friend of mine.”
“My brother is friends with him,” the girl explained. She puffed out her chest. “He comes over all the time.”
“Cool.”
The mom held out her hand for a stamp. “My son plays the bass guitar in that band Horace is in.”
“Oh! Hobb?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s his nickname.” She smiled, then, “I just know him as Sean.”
Raven blushed, having forgotten that “Hobb” was a nickname he’d acquired in the seventh grade because of his hobbit-like feet. “Sorry,” she said.
“No. I think it’s cute.” Apparently, Hobb’s mother thought everything was cute. She turned to her daughter. “Ready?”
The girl nodded again, the embarrassment from seconds ago having disappeared to make way for the renewed excitement. “Do you know what time Horace will be on?”
“Eight thirty,” Raven said.
“If you see him, will you tell him Sugar Pop said good luck? He’ll know who I am.”
Sugar Pop? Raven wondered.
She just nodded, then took money from the next person in line. “I’ll tell him.”
Sugar Pop beamed. “Thanks.”
The student council had decided to decorate for the open-mike night to make it feel like a big celebration. There were gold lights strung up around the ceiling, windows, and performance area. Lisa’s mom had made centerpieces for all the tables using glass holders, fake ice cubes, and gold lights on battery packs. It’d been Sydney’s idea to get two Glade PlugIns so the scent of fresh coffee mixed with the scent of pumpkin spice.
“Syd?” Lisa said. “Please tell me you brought paper plates for the baked goods?”
“Oh, yeah. They’re in my car. I’ll go get them.”
“Thank God,” Lisa muttered, hurrying off to tend to something else.
Sydney pulled her car keys out of her pocket and headed through the back room, avoiding the front entrance. Three girls unwrapped the goodies, getting them ready to set out. Sydney said hi as she passed, then headed through the exit door.
As she rounded the corner toward the parking lot she saw Drew, his height putting him above most of the car roofs. Her heart responded before her brain did, thrumming in her chest as if she were an amateur in the relationship department and this was her first crush.
But then a girl came up alongside Drew and they stopped in the middle of the parking lot. At first Sydney thought it was Nicole Robinson because of the strawberry-blonde highlights in her pulled-back, messy ponytail. Then the girl shifted and Sydney saw her face.
It was Kelly.
Sydney moved back, hiding around the corner of the building. She couldn’t hear what they were saying from this distance, but Drew couldn’t stop smiling and fidgeting. And then they hugged. Sydney’s stomach knotted with anger, with jealousy, with disappointment.
But mostly anger.
She made a fist, car keys digging into the palm of her hand as she left her hiding place and stalked through the parking lot.
Kelly was so dead.
“I’m not expecting anything,” Drew said. “She might not want to work things out.”
“I don’t know,” Kelly said, leaning against her car door. “I think she loves you enough to try anything to make it work.”
Drew hung his head, fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket. “I’ve really missed her. I could barely make it through a whole day without wanting to call her for something. I even made this list of excuses to use when she answered.” He laughed, smiling to himself. “Anyway, I just wanted to thank you. For everything.” He shuffled over and wrapped Kelly in a hug. “You’re a good friend.”
Friend. She’d had her chance to be more than friends with him, but she couldn’t. Not ever. For one, he was too good a friend, and two, she couldn’t hurt her best friend. Sydney meant more to her than any guy. All three of her friends did.
“Good luck,” Kelly said, giving Drew a sisterly pat on the back.
“Thanks.” He pulled away, shoving his hands in the pockets of his cargo pants. “I better get inside. She said be there by eight. I don’t want to screw up already.”
“Break a leg,” she said. He grinned, heading off to the front of the store.
Kelly grabbed her purse from the backseat of her car, then, after slamming the door shut, hit the LOCK button on her car remote. She headed to the aisle of the parking lot, noticing a figure walking purposefully through the cars.
“Hey, Syd!” Kelly raised her hand in a wave.
Except Sydney didn’t wave back, she just clenched her jaw, making her way toward Kelly.
Wow. She looks pissed, Kelly thought, and the words tumbling out of Sydney’s mouth next only clarified the observation.
“You…you…argh! I can’t believe you!”
Alexia hurried through the growing crowd to the front door and tapped Raven on the shoulder.
“What?” Raven asked, making change for a customer.
“I just heard someone say they saw Sydney and Kelly arguing out in the parking lot.”
Raven looked up. “Really?”
“I think we should go out there.”
Raven scanned the faces in close proximity. “Hey, Lisa!” she called. Lisa came over, a clipboard in her hands. “I have to go. Can you take over the front door?”
“I still have tons of things to do and—”
“It’s really, really important. Please?”
Lisa rolled her eyes. “Fine.” She took the SCRAPPE stamp from Raven’s hand and helped the next customer.
“Let’s go,” Raven said, pushing her way out the door.
Alexia could tell Sydney was pissed just by looking at her. Heat turned her cheeks bright red. Her hands were in constant motion and her nostrils flared.
“What’s going on?” Alexia said as she and Raven came between the argument.
Sydney thrust an accusing finger at Kelly. “She’s seeing Drew!”
“What do you mean ‘seeing Drew’?” Raven asked, keeping her voice calm and neutral.
“Going out with him! Dating him! Hello!”
“Calm down, Syd.” Alexia rested a hand on Sydney’s shoulder. The touch seemed to bring her back to reality, and she pursed her lips.
“I’m not seeing Drew,” Kelly said, her voice hitching. She looked like she wanted to cry. “I’m not hiding anything about my love life. Unlike someone I know.”
Raven frowned. “What do you mean?”
Kelly nodded at Alexia. “Is there anything you’ve been keeping from us?”
Alexia grimaced. “I’ve been dating Ben!” she blurted.
“Will told me,” Kelly added.
Raven turned to Kelly. “What were you doing talking to Will? That’s in violation of, like, all the rules.”
Sydney propped her hands on her hips. “You’ve been breaking rule twenty-seven for God knows how long.”
“What’s rule twenty-seven?” Kelly asked.
“Don’t form any new crushes.”
Kelly furrowed her brow. “Who have you been crushing on?”
Raven spread her arms out. “Like I can control something like that! It’s a dumb rule anyway.”
“You think it’s dumb because you broke it,” Sydney retorted.
“You guys!” Alexia stepped in the middle. “Listen to us. We’re arguing over boys and who broke what rules? I
created The Code to help you and bring us all back together, but since we’re here, arguing with each other, I guess it didn’t work at all.”
Everyone fell silent and looked at the pavement. Alexia hugged her arms around herself.
“I wouldn’t say it didn’t work at all,” Raven said. “I’m over Caleb. Totally.”
Alexia looked up.
Kelly nodded. “I’m over Will.”
“I’m over my old relationship with Drew. I was starting to move on, and then he emailed me.” She couldn’t help but grin.
Raven lifted a brow. “He emailed you?”
Sydney nodded. “It sounds like he wants to talk…but…”
“He does,” Kelly said. “That’s what we were talking about just now. You. I was wishing him good luck. We’re just friends, Sydney.”
“I know.” Sydney kicked at a rock on the pavement. “I always knew that. I was just…”
“Totally still in love with him,” Raven supplied. “Which makes you sort of crazy.”
Sydney snorted. “Ha-ha. But you’re probably right.”
“I’m always right.” Raven squared her shoulders proudly.
“That’s a funny one,” Kelly said sarcastically, pulling her coat tight around her midsection.
They all laughed, then Sydney turned to Kelly. “I’m sorry for accusing you of anything.”
Kelly shook her head. “Don’t apologize. I can see how it might have looked to you, but just know, I’d never, ever, do anything to hurt you.”
Sydney wrapped her arms around Kelly’s neck. “I know. I should have trusted you.” Over Kelly’s shoulder, she motioned to Raven and then Alexia. “Come over here. Get in.”
Raven and Alexia sidled up and Kelly and Sydney pulled them into a group hug.
Alexia smiled, relief running through her. They were her best friends. After all, if they didn’t have each other, then they didn’t have anyone.
“We’re sorry,” Kelly said. “You were right. We were arguing for nothing.”
“I just…I want us to be best friends again and not let boys come between us. I suggested The Code to help you guys get over your exes. I thought it would bring us closer together.”
“It did.” Sydney smiled across their tight group hug. “In some weird way it worked.”
“I got over Will,” Kelly said. “And I was able to hang out with you guys while doing The Code.”
“It helped me, too,” Raven added.
Sydney ducked her head. “It helped me, even if Drew and I are still talking.”
They pulled apart. Alexia debated telling them how and why The Code worked, that it was a diversion tactic. But it didn’t really matter how or why it worked, only that it did.
“So, are we all okay?” she asked.
They all looked from one to the other.
“I’m good,” Raven said.
“Me, too,” Kelly said.
Sydney smiled. “I’m okay, except for the fact that I’m supposed to go on in fifteen minutes and read my amateur poetry.”
“Poetry?” Raven asked.
“I know. It’ll be lame. But I have to do it.”
“We’ll be there for moral support,” Kelly said, the parking lot lights turning on behind her.
“Definitely,” Raven said.
Alexia gave Raven a reassuring squeeze. “You have us, too. I just hope your mom doesn’t lock you in your bedroom for eternity after this.”
Raven snorted. “Yeah. Me, too.”
“Ready to humiliate ourselves, then?” Sydney asked.
Raven shook her head. “But I guess at this point I can’t really chicken out, so let’s go!”
THIRTY-ONE
Rule 26: You cannot kiss any boys for at least three months after the breakup.
Sydney clutched the poem in her hand, the paper now crinkled and moist from her sweating fingertips. She swallowed, throat raw from the heat inside Scrappe. She stood off to the side of the performance area waiting for Doug Mulne to finish his stand-up comedy act. He was good, too, the whole crowd was laughing. Sydney would get up there with her dramatic, depressing poem and either put everyone to sleep or drive them out the door.
Doug thanked the audience and walked offstage as Ms. Valenti went up, the performing schedule on a clipboard in her hand.
“And now I’d like to welcome Sydney Howard reading a poem called ‘I Wish.’”
If you’re going to chicken out, now’s the time to do it, she thought.
But she didn’t, she couldn’t. She walked over to the microphone and unfolded the paper.
Taking a breath, she looked out over the crowd, scanning the faces. It seemed like hundreds of people were staring back at her. She couldn’t remember what Scrappe’s customer capacity was, but it had to be full. She searched the room for Drew. She just wanted to see a familiar face. She found him near the back, his electric-blue eyes standing out of the crowd. He grinned and lifted a few fingers in an uncertain wave.
Sydney smiled, the fear taking a backseat to the desire to get these words out. She started reading.
“I wish I could take it back,
The things I said,
The things I did,
Maybe we’d still be you and me.
We went together,
You and me,
Like rain and rainbows.
But then we were
Just you, just me,
And maybe that’s what you wanted,
To find yourself.
To be yourself.
I respect that,
But I still love you.
I still love you and me.
I wish I could take it back.”
When she finished, the whole place went silent and no one moved. The instinct to run coiled in her calves until her mother stood up from her table and started clapping. Then Kelly and Alexia and Drew clapped and the whole room stood up, hands coming together.
Sydney exhaled, relieved. “Thank you,” she said into the microphone and stepped down, threading her way through the crowd over to her mother. “What are you doing here?”
“Your father and I had a long phone conversation last night in which he chastised me for not being home and spending more time with my only child.” Mrs. Howard took a deep breath. “I realized he was right. So here I am. Perfect timing, too. That poem was beautiful.”
“Thanks.”
“I used to write poetry in my journal when I was your age.” She rolled her eyes. “Well, I still do, actually.”
Sydney wasn’t sure what to make of all this. It’d been so long since her mother did anything in her free time that involved Sydney. Would it last, this epiphany?
As if reading her daughter’s mind, Mrs. Howard said, “I took a week of vacation so we can hang out, and after that I’m going to try and cut my hours.”
Sydney raised her brow. “Really?”
“Really.” Mrs. Howard wrapped her arms around Sydney. “I love you, honey.”
“I love you, too.”
“Now,” Mrs. Howard pulled back, “I think there’s someone waiting for you in the back. How about you go talk to him, and I’ll meet you at home?”
Sydney stole a glance across the room at Drew. She desperately wanted to go over there, give him a hug, and beg him to take her back, but she’d have to settle for talking.
“Thanks,” she said to her mom. “I’ll probably be home around eleven.”
“Take your time,” Mrs. Howard said.
Nodding, Sydney slipped into the crowd and made her way to the back corner.
Raven could count on two hands the amount of times she’d ever thrown up. She was about to have to move on to her toes because she’d already hurled in the bathroom. She felt beyond nauseous now as she waited offstage for the last performer to wrap up.
“You’ll do great,” Horace said, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
“Yeah, but my mom—”
“As soon as she hears your voice, she’ll realize you were mea
nt to do this.” He smiled and came around in front of her. “Ray, I have faith in you. I know you can do this.”
“Unless my mother pulls me off the stage.”
“We’ll form a human barricade.”
She snorted. “Oh, by the way, this little girl at the front door told me to tell you Sugar Pop said good luck.”
Color flared on his cheeks. “Oh, right. She’s Hobb’s little sister. I, uh,” he shifted his eyes down, “call her Sugar Pop.”
Raven laughed. “I thought it was cute.”
He shrugged again. “Go ahead, tell me it’s lame.”
“No. It’s cute.”
“Well, thanks for sparing me the ridicule.”
The crowd clapped as two comedic freshmen left the stage area, bowing as they went. Raven’s nausea flared again as performance time neared. Her mother went to the microphone and announced the band.
“Please welcome the next act, an amateur band called…” she looked at her clipboard, “October.”
They’d all decided on the band name last night after an hour’s worth of debating. And the brilliance of the name went no further than Dean seeing an old calendar hanging on the wall, forgotten since the month of October, which Hobb decided would be the name of their first album. If there was an album.
“I can see it now,” Hobb had said, spreading his arms out as if reading a headline. “The debut alternative band October hits the Billboard charts with their groundbreaking album, Forgotten Since the Month of October. It’s sheer brilliance.”
“Is that you talking,” Horace had said, “or the headline?”
“The headline.”
Raven couldn’t help but laugh now as she thought about it. She’d had fun last night, although the only reason she was there practicing with the band was because she’d lied to her mother and told her she was studying with Horace at the library.
Hanging out with Horace, Dean, and Hobb was fun, and playing with the band was exhilarating. If only she could persuade her mother to believe it was a worthy hobby.
The guys went onstage and positioned themselves behind their instruments, Horace on the guitar, Hobb on the bass, and Dean behind the drum set. Raven waited offstage just as they’d planned, so her mother wouldn’t know she was singing until she actually was singing.
